A Heavenly Kind of Love

by Ostrow, Lexi

  “Thank you, Doctor Dresdell.”

  “Please, we’re going to see a lot of one another, Judy is fine.”

  Nodding, she finally took a beat to wipe her hands under her eyes to remove some of the wetness. Judy walked out of the office, carefully closing the door behind her. Cassandra was alone.

  “Alone.”

  She had no one to help her through this. Yes, there were friends and colleagues, but no family to speak off, and many of her friends were in other countries doing exactly what she did for work. She had no one to hold her when the crying fits came. No one to simply sit with her in the chemo sessions she knew might be a part of her treatment.

  Her eyes began to sting as tears started to fill them once more. There would be so much more crying to come—she needed to focus. Cancer wasn’t always a death sentence. Judy has hope, and there’s probably science backing that hope. You can fall apart tomorrow. Just get through this today. Everything can wait. Work can wait.

  Damn it. Work. The bitter though brought up another round of sadness

  She’d never be cleared to continue her missions. So many children would go without help from her and the program she was attempting to develop. For that matter, she could probably forget getting her program funded entirely.

  “Everything I’ve worked for is just gone with one tiny blood test.”

  Something happened then. Her tears stopped, and the staggering cold that had weaved through her body was subsiding into anger. “Everything.” She wanted to scream but restrained herself. This was not the time or the place.

  “Worry about it all later, damn it. Stop getting in your own way and let Judy get your treatment started.” Clenching her hands into fists, she sniffled twice before standing up. On wobbling legs, she managed to make it to the door and open it. Judy stood outside, her eyes scanning what must have been Cassandra’s chart. “I’m ready. I want to beat this, and that means starting.”

  Judy’s eyes warmed, and her smile grew. “Those are the precise words I wanted to hear. Let’s head back in. We’ll get you up to speed on the lifestyle changes you need to make right away.”

  Five

  Gabe was drowning. There was no other word for the way he struggled to breathe. Twice in a short span of moments he’d had to use his powers to calm Cassandra—which meant he’d taken her fear into his own being. Each breath he took brought sweat to his brow. Fear sat heavily on his chest and wrapped tightly around his throat, and he fought to breathe.

  Cassandra’s fear.

  It wasn’t that he was unfamiliar to the concept of fear. The palpitations and nervousness coursed through him each and every time he’d suited up to fight alongside humans against the demons they didn’t know were controlling their actions. He’d sure as shit experienced a heavy dose of terror as he’d watched his gold wings fade to white. None of it had prepared him to take on the full extent of human fear.

  And Cassandra was terrified.

  “She has every fucking right to be,” Gabe snarled as he looked at her from his spot standing behind the doctor. He’d had to move away from her if he was going to calm down in case she needed help again.

  Yet, staring at her was bringing up another emotion, one downright new to him.

  Possessiveness.

  Gabe wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his embrace and take away all the fear and pain that coursed through her like a storm. She sat, perched on the edge of the chair as if a steady breeze could topple her. Gabe’s hands twitched with the need to cover her hands with his and squeeze it for assurance. Fear held her eyes wide open, even as she attempted to fight to focus on the words the doctor was telling her.

  “Words you should be listening too.” He was her Guardian Angel, and he needed to stop paying attention. He’d never wanted to protect a human so intensely, even in battle, and it was proving to be a distraction.

  One of Carlyle’s many lectures floated around in his mind—angels could not protect humans from disease. That was something their body was in control of, he could only control external elements. Fuck that. There has to be a way around that.

  “Repeat it back to me, please, if you don’t mind.” The Oncologist spoke with patience and sympathy. “You’ll have all the pamphlets you could ever dream of to look over, but I want to make certain you’re okay.”

  “Is there okay again? After this I mean? Do your patients ever feel okay?” Pain constricted each word, making the questions almost impossible even for Gabe hear.

  A growl slipped past his lips as Gabe’s hands clenched into fists at his side. Tension rocketed through his body as he forced his feet to remain on the ground as if rooted in place. No one should ever have such fear in their hearts, even men, and women who deserved to die.

  “I promise you, life will always be different. But life will be yours if we attack this beast head on.”

  He found himself nodding in agreement with the doctor’s words. They had overcome the hardest hurdle and learned what it was that had darkened her aura. “I don’t care if I can’t help, I’m not leaving her side.”

  An idea sparked as he heard Cassandra begin to list off immediate changes she had to implement. In the history of Guardian Angels, a select few had gotten overtly involved in their charge’s lives and saved them from death even angels weren’t supposed to tangle with. If he could petition for such a role, he would do whatever it took to keep Cassandra alive. Her work was too important. Any of the orphans her plan could help could be the man or woman who cured cancer.

  “Her death is not an option,” he grunted the words and watched as Cassandra stood. Leaving her alone to speak to the council could be dangerous, but the woman hadn’t sounded suicidal over the news. Quite the opposite. “Just don’t go and do anything stupid while I’m gone. Please.” He added the final word as he watched her walk away, her hand on the door for balance after her knees buckled.

  Every fiber of his being screamed to stay with her - except his brain. His brain knew the best course of action was to get approval to intervene. Which meant going to his father.

  In a blink, he vanished and reappeared in the hall outside Gabriel’s office, beyond pissed unauthorized transporting into an Archangel’s space was forbidden. The door was closed as was policy, but that didn’t stop him from aggressively twisting the knob and slamming the heavy, wooden door into the wall with a crash.

  “Gabriel!” His father roared, leaping up from his desk at the noise.

  Ignoring formalities and the way heavenly fire almost glowed from the Archangel’s eyes, Gabe smacked his hands down on the desk, ignoring the sting from contact as it passed through him. “I want to petition for Cassandra’s life.”

  A manicured blond eyebrow lifted inquisitively. “I’m going to forgive you nearly destroying my office wall given the nature of your request.”

  “Why? Why does this shock you?”

  “Entirely. A little over a month ago you had your wings in a twist overlooking after any human, especially a weak female as I believe you referred to her. Now, you burst in begging for us to intervene when our rules dictate we should not.”

  “I already expressed my concern when her aura darkened. You were not surprised then.”

  “That was within the standard purpose and operations of a Guardian Angel. Growing attached to and concerned for your charge is a necessity. Being alarmed by a negative development in their life is to be expected. Petitioning for their life is not. I assume you’ve listened to Carlyle on what this will entail?”

  A pit formed in his stomach at the question. Of course, he hadn’t listened to the obnoxious younger angel drone on. It hadn’t seemed necessary. His father’s question made him recognize otherwise. “I understand it means I stand before the Council of Angels and state my beliefs on why her life is too important to snuff out.”

  “Then you are fully prepared to give testimony on this matter? Especially after such a short time as her guardian?”

  Clenching his jaw, Gabe nodded. His fath
er had never questioned his judgment previously.

  “You will be under great scrutiny after the incident with the Fallen Angel. Your foresight is not what it once was, and your knowledge of your charge is in its infancy.”

  Anger flooded over him, shaking his body as fear had shaken Cassandra’s minutes earlier. “I made a mistake. I did not seek to destroy anyone. My judgment had not been questioned for three hundred years. There is no need to question it now.” His jaw hurt from gritting his teeth tight to avoid saying words he would later regret. The heavenly fire burned in his body, warming him from within. They took his wings, but they could not take his battle skills. “I respect you, Father, but I disagree with your assessment. Put me before the council, I will show you all.”

  Gabriel nodded, the expression on his face unchanging. He moved his hand through the air causing time and space to open into the council chambers; a skill only Archangels possessed. Father and son stepped through to the empty room with its long golden table and seven chairs—one for every Archangel — excluding Lucifer and Metatron because Fallen Angels did not hold seats.

  Their presence alone would trigger a paging system of sorts; letting the other six, a council was in session.

  “I believe you know where to stand?” His father turned his back on him and took his seat in the third chair at the table. “It hasn’t been too long since you were there before.”

  Again, anger rolled through him as his father voiced his distrust and dislike of Gabe’s past actions. For being a heavenly figure, his father was narrow-minded when it came to his children’s behavior. Blood filled Gabe’s mouth as he clamped his teeth down onto his tongue. If he were to curry favor on Cassandra’s behalf, he would not ruin it with his temper. Instead, he walked to stand inside the ring of gold painted on the floor at the head of the table closest to his father’s seat. There was one on each side, but family lines superseded where one stood.

  Michael, Raphael, and Uriel arrived together, seemingly coming from their place at the Battle Hall. None appeared delighted by the interruption to their time. Angels were not on a time zone that equated to anything on Earth; they merely slept when they felt the need to. Based on their haggard looks and scowls, the trio had only recently taken a break from their duties.

  “This had best not be about your wings, Gabriel.” Michael scoffed as he took a seat across from Raphael. “I’ve told your father numerous times your punishment fits your actions.”

  Gabriel spoke before Gabe could eek out any words. “My son is here on Guardian Angel business. Please keep your issues with him personally tabled. As a Guardian Angel, your ruling at this council affects not only him, but his charge as well.”

  Ariel appeared, her long black hair trailing behind her like a curtain. “May this be brief and not pointless. My angels are nearing completion on a cure for Autism.”

  Too fucking bad they can’t do it for cancer. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. One disease was not more deserving than the next.

  Chamuel and Sandalaphon entered at the same moment but from different places. Chamuel set down his forging hammer, and Sandalaphon removed her artist’s smock from her waist. Both had come from work or training and wore expressions only a little fonder than those that entered previously.

  Gabriel rose, a cold stoniness in his eyes he could see reflected in a mirror, and his mouth pursed in a firm line. Humans had gotten many things correct about the Archangels when they’d scribed their teachings. However, they’d mixed many careers and temperaments. Michael had not been the fiercest; his father had.

  “My son is here to plea for the life of his charge, Cassandra Marks.”

  A 3-D hologram of Cassandra appeared in the center of the table. Every element of it was disturbingly accurate down to the bruise on her thigh. The image spun as if on a Lazy Susan. Looking from angel to angel, he prickled when none of them even bothered to look down.

  “You will state your case. We are to know the exact reasons you believe death is not an option for your charge. Do not let us know the basics. Her selection as a Guarded, lets us know she is special. We need to know the specific reasons she should be spared from death.” Ariel spoke with an even tone. “Cancer is my domain, and therefore you will need to impress upon me most why she should not succumb.”

  Swallowing hard, he focused on the female angel. Ariel oversaw medical battles when non- human ailments were the cause, so it made sense to direct his attention to her.

  “Cassandra is more than the work she does, work for which she was granted a Guardian Angel. She seeks to create a system that will end homelessness for children. For good. Should she perish before realizing her goals, one of the children without a home could be the one to cure cancer itself, extinguish world conflict or bring about a united world.” He tried his best to keep his voice level, yet tension clamped around his body. He’d been watching her for such a short time, and yet, the emotions she elicited grew stronger by the second. Passion wasn’t dangerous, but he needed to remain logical if he were to impress upon them the facts.

  “And what is to say her work will succeed where other similar programs have failed? There are many systems in place in the world to place children in foster homes, and that does nothing to cease the suffering even in her own country.” Chamuel spoke first.

  “I . . . I am uncertain. I have only been with her a short time, and she has yet to perform work on her idea. I know it from her file and truly believe in the good it will bring to children, to the world.”

  Chamuel nodded, but it was his father who questioned next. “What evidence or reason do you have to believe she will ever finish this?”

  Sweat beaded on his brow and dripped into his eyes. Sweat was rare but not impossible for an angel. His father was asking the questions as head of Guardian Angels, he would ask the most important, but it was up to Uriel to decide to remove the cancer.

  “She has hardly past thirty and has already created a viable outline for the program.” He snapped his fingers and copies of her file appeared before each angel. “She has a plan, not a dream. That is key in her executing her idea. She has worked tirelessly to speak to senators from her state as well as other states for their support. Creating a national database is the first point in her plan, and gathering and disseminating personal information requires a law, or code, of some sort.”

  He stopped talking, paused to breathe honestly, and his heart dropped into his stomach. Only his father and Chamuel were even bothering to look at him. The others stared blankly at the hologram, but he knew they did not see it. They’re not listening.

  “Her life’s goal is to save children from the horrors of homelessness. To save lives. We have no way of knowing what each life she’s able to save through her program could bring.”

  “Yes, you’ve stated that already.” Raphael looked at his nails, bored and uninterested if his tone of voice were any indication.

  “I don’t understand why that is not proof enough. Why would keeping the potential creator of the cure for Parkinson’s or the next President of the United States safe and happy not be important?” Anger churned in his gut, rolling like a turbulent sea and ready to topple anything that got in his path. His argument was sound. They weren’t listening.

  “You seem so certain such a being exists or will exist in the system. This is an impossibility. How do we know her work will merely give some children better lives, but none of those children grow up to do something significant?” Uriel lifted his gaze, heavenly fire burning behind his eyes.

  Uriel’s temper was as hot as Gabe’s, and if the angel decided Gabe earned his anger, he needed to tread carefully. Which is impossible given you want to rip his wings off to force him to save her so you’re a success and you get your beautiful golden wings back.

  “Gabe, before this turns into a very unpleasant situation, I will ask you one last question before we speak on the matter.” Michael’s voice rang out regally as if giving a decree. “Tell me, in a concise sentence, w
hy you want your charge to live.”

  His mouth opened, closed and opened again. Gabe had been expecting to defend Cassandra’s life based on her achievements and possible triumphs. He’d not anticipated them being interested strictly in his personal opinion. Should I even have a personal opinion? Is this a trick to take my wings?

  “Gabriel?” Michael pressed.

  “I’m not certain I understand the question. Is a human’s life not based on their merits? Why would my opinion on her have any worth?”

  “As her Guardian Angel, you have a connection to her. You can see inside her head, know her thoughts. You know the true depth of her character. Those of us around this table do not. So I will rephrase the question. Is she as pure she appears, or is there a darker nature to her work; say to earn fame or the Noble Peace Prize.”

  He froze as thoroughly as if he’d been caught in an ice block. Michael’s question made perfect sense, but he had no idea. There had been no reason for him to search amongst her thoughts, so he had not. Each time he’d watched her with the children, her joy had been so powerfully visible in every smile. Her apartment had not looked to belong to a social or career climber.

  He was an angel and therefore couldn’t lie. The weight of failure settled heavily over him. He couldn’t answer the question the Archangels wanted to determine her fate; that as good as sealed it. I’m so sorry, Cassandra. I tried. His teeth ground together. I should have worked harder. I should have been more invested in you as a human, and not just my wings.

  The way his heart thudded in his chest nearly knocked him to his knees. The thought of her death bothered him, so much more than his failure did. Cassandra was so much better than he’d been able to articulate, he knew it. Not knowing one question should not change the outcome of her life.

  And I’m going to let them judge her existence off of my failure. He’d always been stubborn. It’s why when his second-in-command suggested the Fallen was lying, Gabe ignored him. Sometimes stubborn doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Squaring his shoulders, he took a step closer to the mahogany table.