Broken

by Man, Alina

  The loud bang from the front door startles me and I jump from my chair. What in the world? I walk slowly down the dark hallway when the bang comes again.

  “Open up, Jenny. I know you’re home.” David! I unlock the door and there he is, covering the entire frame, and he doesn’t look very happy.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh, hello to you too. Think I could come in? I forgot my house key and spent all the cash I had bribing a very upset taxi driver to drive me here just so you won’t be alone. Since you very nicely forgot to mention that you would not be at your mom’s. So how about it?” I’m too shocked to speak so I just move aside and make room for him. He towers over me and I can tell he’s cold. He pushes the door closed and starts taking his coat off.

  I can’t believe he did this for me. He left his family for me. FOR ME. My eyes moisten, and I can’t help the tears that are threatening to spill.

  “Hey, I’m sorry,” he says when the first tear falls on my cheek. “Want me to go? I just wanted to see you and make sure you’re ok.” I shake my head and try to find my voice. Is he kidding me? He thinks I’m mad that he’s here?

  “Talk to me Jenny.” I move closer and bring his lips to mine, surprising us both by my boldness. Heads bumping, teeth crushing. Nothing sexy about it. We burst out laughing at the same time. “That’s better. Good thing we didn’t break any teeth.” He gives me one of his genuine smiles and I melt. I’m puddle at his feet, and all I can think of is how suddenly the room is way too hot.

  “Thank you,” I whisper as he rests his chin on top of my head while massaging the small of my back. It feels so good to have his arms around me.

  “Thank you for taking mercy on me and not throwing me out in the cold.”

  I look up and bring his mouth back to mine. This time the kiss is perfect. Gentle and sweet. I feel his tongue push past my lips and I make room for him. Slowly the pace changes and we kiss as if our lives depend on it, exploring, tasting, savoring. I am the one that breaks the kiss. I don’t want to, but I’m out of air.

  “Holly crap. If you make love as good as you kiss, we’re in trouble.”

  “Are we?”

  “Yes. I’ll kidnap you and make you my sex slave.” He laughs and circles his arms around my waist, picking me up until my feel no longer touch the floor. I twist my legs around his waist and rest my lips against his neck. A low growl escapes his lips and I smile. We’re walking, well he is, and I don’t bother to ask where he’s taking me because at this point I would go anywhere. I have a feeling that I’m about to find out if he is as good in bed as he is at kissing. And that thought alone puts a big smile on my face. He lays me down on the bed and takes his coat off. My fingers touch his and I push his hands aside. I unbutton the coat slowly, taking my time with each button, his eyes locked on my face. The next to follow is the sweater and the shirt. God, he’s beautiful.

  I feel his hands on my back, under the sweatshirt and I’m glad I didn’t wear anything else underneath. I tremble under his touch, yearning for more. His hand cups my breast and I swear I stop breathing.

  “Oh God, you feel so good.” I feel him everywhere yet it’s not enough. His right hand lowers to my ribcage and that’s when I freeze in place. My scars. No one has ever seen them aside from Big Mike, the tattoo guy responsible for covering them up with his beautiful art.

  He raises my sweatshirt slowly above my head and looks over my tattoos with gentle eyes. I’m still not breathing as his fingers go over each and every scar, contouring the outline of the drawings. Any minute now, he’ll bail. He’ll run out the door, away from the freak show that I am and never look back. I’ll be forever known as the loony bin girl that loved to cut herself. So I wait. But he seems unaware of the scars and what they represent.

  “You’re like the gift that keeps on giving. With each layer I peel off, I find something better and more beautiful than before.”

  From anyone else, these words would’ve sounded like bullshit. But somehow coming from him, they feel genuine. I fumble with his belt but he doesn’t help. He’s too busy touching me, exploring me like an undiscovered island, trailing little kisses along the way. The need to feel him, to have him inside me grows with every passing moment.

  “Babe, wait.” He lowers his head against mine and tries to catch his breath.

  “Seriously?” I look up and try not to sound desperate, earning me a grin from David. “Don’t tell me you want to take things slow now. You do that and I swear your ass will be out in the snow before you know it.”

  “You wouldn’t do that, would you?” he asks looking seriously worried.

  “Well let’s not find out.” I resume my own exploration as his pants drop to the floor.

  “There goes my plan to take my time,” he jokes.

  “Sorry but it’s been years since I’ve done this, so I’m in a little hurry. We can go over your plan later.” I press my palm against the front of his boxers and a moan escapes his lips. His erection is pressing hard against his stomach and knowing I did that to him turns me on even more. We move together in perfect harmony, like a choreographed ballet, dancing to the sound of the music playing in our hearts.

  David

  Holly shit. I just died and went to Heaven. I would be lying if I said this was not why I came here. Hell, I’m a guy, and she’s freaking hot. I’ve wanted her from the first time I saw her, but that’s beside the point. Most of all, I came here tonight because I didn’t want her to be alone. I didn’t want me to be alone. I wanted to be with her at midnight and every minute after, before and in between. I want her to know that no matter what happened in the past, I can and will be here for her.

  She’s wearing sweats, no makeup and her hair is up in a messy do thingy ma jig. And yet, she’s more beautiful than ever. Her eyes are full of emotions, and I know I was the last person on earth she expected to show up at her door just before midnight. I went through hell and back trying to get here on time. My whole family thought I’d lost my mind when I called in the afternoon and ordered my plane ticket. Only a crazy idiot in love would try to fly on New Year’s Day. And I was that crazy idiot in love.

  I didn’t care what it took. I had to be here. When her mom told me that Jenny was going to be alone I almost lost it. Stubborn woman. Within an hour, I had already ordered my plane ticket and was on my way to the airport. Oh, and had raided my brother’s stash of condoms. Not that I expected anything, but better safe than sorry.

  Jenny’s hands tremble slightly as she takes off my shirt, and I am enthralled by her touch. My boxers feel suddenly tighter as my body reacts to her. I pull her mouth to me and she kisses me back, pushing her tongue inside, biting my lip, teasing me. It’s not like I haven’t had sex before, but I suddenly feel nervous. I want this to be perfect for her in every possible way.

  My fingers move on their own, exploring the soft skin, and that’s when I feel them. The little ridges along her ribs. They feel like scars. I pull her top off to take a closer look. Her body tenses with each move I make. There are little colored vines with small red rose buds drawn on her left side right over her ribcage. I move closer and touch my lips to the beautiful tattoo that covers her. She starts relaxing against my touch, and I continue my journey, leaving a trail of kisses along the way.

  Her hands are in my hair and she arches her back. She feels so fucking good. I kiss her stomach, her breast, her neck. I bite her earlobe and she moans pulling my hair harder, trying to get closer. My fingers brush against one of her nipples and she pushes me to take the other into my mouth. Her body responds to my touch just as mine does to hers.

  “Please David.” I push her sweats down her hips and she lifts herself up just enough to help me get them off. I look down at her body and I swear my mouth waters. She’s not like any other woman I’ve ever met. No frills, no games, no bullshit. There’s a long stem rose on the side of her leg in beautiful bright colors and another in black and white on her thigh. Right now, I envy the lucky bastard tha
t got to do the tattoos.

  I kiss her again, because I love the taste of her lips against mine. I touch her stomach then move lower and lower. She opens up for me and I push one finger inside. She calls my name and I can feel her muscles clench. I push a second finger in and she rolls her hips against it. She’s close, I can tell from the way her body starts pushing harder against my hand.

  Forget the plan, forget going slow. Without moving my hand, I try to use the other to find my pants at the foot of the bed and fumble with the pockets trying to find the condoms. Smooth, Casanova. I bet a teenage virgin has more game than me. After a few tries, I finally get the right pocket and pull out the long strip of condoms. She looks at me and smiles, raising one brow in question.

  “I guess you really hoped to get lucky tonight, didn’t you?”

  “Hey one can only hope, right?” We laugh together, and it feels so good to be with her, so…natural.

  I roll the condom and pause just for a second before entering her. I know she’s ready and I know that’s what she wants. She moves her hips against mine, and I hope I can make it last. I slowly enter her and after only a few thrusts, we both come undone at the same time. Seconds later, I lay next to her, and I realize just how lucky of a bastard I am. She moves closer and puts her head on my shoulder.

  “Wow.” The words fly out of my mouth. Nice move. She probably thinks I’m an idiot but damn if this wasn’t just…. WOW. I know she’s smiling but she doesn’t say anything. We lay there together in silence. No words are needed. Slowly her body relaxes against mine, and her breathing evens. She’s asleep. I press my lips to her hair and close my eyes.

  Jen

  For the first time in years, I actually slept. I can’t tell what time it is, but it feels like I’ve been in bed forever. Not that I’m complaining. David is snoring softly behind me, his body pressed against mine. Oh sweet God. We’re spooning. What am I supposed to say when he wakes up? Do I smile? Say thank you?

  “Stop over thinking this.” His voice startles me, making me jump.

  “Jesus. You scared the crap out of me.” I turn slightly and slap his arm. “I thought you were asleep.”

  “Ouch.” He rubs the spot on his arm and acts as if I just broke his arm or something. “I was asleep until you started freaking out and thinking. I could hear the wheels turning in that sexy head of yours.”

  “I was not.”

  “Come here. And you were too. Would you relax?” He pulls me back under the covers and hugs me tightly to his chest. “Since you woke me up, I think maybe we should go over last night’s plan.” And boy is he awake. What’s with men and morning sex? Not that I’m complaining. His lips are on mine before I can think about morning breath or how many body looks in the daylight, and my body responds immediately. And just like that, all my worries are poof… gone.

  Chapter 17

  We spent more of the day in bed. Talking. Ok maybe not the entire time, but there was talking. Some. He left hours later to go back to his parents’ house and once again, I declined the invitation to accompany him. I wasn’t ready, ever after spending the night together. It was much too soon.

  As the weeks went by, he made sure that I knew we were no longer just friends. Everyone in the neighborhood was also aware as he would be seen coming out of my house at crazy hours, just as I could be seen coming out of his. Eventually we developed a routine that we could both agree on, without me freaking out at the changes that were taking place. It was still something I was trying to get used to. The whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was just not something I ever thought would be part of my life ever again.

  Shelly was also part of that routine now. “Damn girl, you got yourself a Daniel Henney lookalike. He is freaking gorgeous,” she said making me laugh harder than ever. “I’m serious. He is hot as hell.” The two of them, Shelly and David, got along amazingly well from the start, and sometimes they would team up against me whenever I didn’t feel like going out to dinner or doing whatever else they had planned.

  It was the end of summer when things started to change even more. I’m standing in David’s kitchen, wearing one of his t-shirt, drinking coffee and reading the paper, while Lily is eating a chocolate pop-tart. He’s on the phone and from the bit and pieces I’ve heard, he’s pretty happy with whatever news he just got.

  “Oh shit, babe.” He runs up to me and picks me up. He’s definitely happy.

  “Oh no Daddy. You said a bad word,” she tells him and walks out of the room dragging a big stuffed dragon behind her.

  “Sorry honey,” he yells after her.

  “I take it there’s good news?”

  “Better than good. Amazing news. But I need a huge favor from you. They need me to fly to New York today for an interview. My parents are out of town so you’re the only one I trust with Lily.” As much as I love Lily, I’ve never been alone with her. What if something goes wrong? What if I don’t know what do to? “Babe, you’re freaking out on me. It’s just Lily. She loves you. And it’s just for a few hours.”

  “I love her too, but I don’t know David. I mean, what if-”

  “Babe, I have to do this. Unless you want Amanda to babysit…” Bastard. He knew he would get me with that one. I smack his arm playfully.

  “Ouch. Damn you’re so violent.”

  “That was low. Like, really low. Don’t mention that name again. Lily and I will be just fine without you.”

  “God, I love you.” He kisses me hard and rushes out of the kitchen, leaving me alone, too shocked to speak at the fact that he just said he loves me. I’m sure it just came out due to all the excitement, but he said the words, didn’t he? Within minutes, he’s back, dressed in a suit, looking like a million bucks. “Here’s some cash in case you guys want to go eat out or order a pizza or something. The phone for the doctor is on the fridge, and you have my cell.”

  “Who’s freaking out now?” I laugh.

  “Not me. Wish me luck, Jenny.”

  “You don’t need it but ok. They’ll love you.” With Lily’s hand in mine, we walk him to the door. We wave from the front door until he pulls away from the driveway. “Well sweet cheeks, what should we do today?”

  “Can we go to the park?”

  “You bet we can.”

  Lily’s bedroom is every little girl’s dream room. Heck, it’s my dream room too. It’s bright, splashes of color everywhere. I watch as she picks her own clothes: a pair of aqua color shorts and a lavender t-shirt with glitter hearts and stars on the front. It’s like dressing up a doll, that’s how cute she is. As we make our way to the front door, I try to think of things I need to take with me. This is all new to me, but I remember from movies what moms usually carry when they leave the house. A sweater (just in case), snacks, juice, box of tissues.

  “Is all that for me?” she asks with a serious voice.

  “Yes. Doesn’t your dad bring this stuff with him when you guys go to the park?”

  “Nooo.” She shakes her head. “It’s not far.”

  “Oh sorry. So I should leave everything then?” She walks up to me and looks inside the bag.

  “No, it’s ok. I like snacks and juice.” We’re not even out yet and I’m already tired. I find a travel mug and fill it with more coffee, as I’m sure I’ll need it.

  The park is not too far from the house and we walk hand in hand. She already thinks herself too old for the stroller, and I’m not about to argue with her. There are a few moms already at the park, watching their kids play on the playground, while they are sitting on the benches talking to one another.

  “Sweetie, where did you want to play first?” I ask Lily and try not to make eye contact with the other moms. Thank God for sunglasses. I can’t hear what they are saying, but it’s so easy to see they are talking about me. Not that I care.

  “I want the swing.” She pulls me toward the row of swings and waits for me to help her out on one. Her laugh, as she goes up and down on the swing, makes me forget that I’m being watched. We jump from
one swing to another, then the monkey bars, back to the swing, and eventually end up at the sand box. There are several kids playing there but one stands out more from the rest. He has orangey curly hair and his face is covered in freckles. His eyes are a bright blue, framed by long thick lashes. He’s beautiful.

  “Hi,” he says, sounding older than he looks.

  “Hello,” I smile. He guards both Lily and me with an unsmiling face.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Jennifer. What’s yours?”

  “Tim. Does she speak?” he asks and points at Lily. I know it sounds mean, but I’m starting to dislike this kid. He sounds like a bully, and I’m moving closer to Lily, ready to protect her.

  “Of course she does. Don’t you sweets?” Lily nods but pays him no attention.

  “Then why doesn’t she?” Ok, somebody stop me because I’m about to smack this kid.

  “Because she doesn’t like you.” My answer gets a few giggles from the other kids and also from Lily. Yeah, take that little boy. You’re messing with the wrong one this time.

  “Whatever. No one likes her either. She doesn’t even have a mom.” I feel the blood draining from my face. Lily pushes away from me, her little hand on her hip.

  “You’re dumb. I do have a mom. She’s my mom, and she’s beautiful and smart. So there.” OH MY GOD. The skies open, the angels are singing, and all I see is my amazingly beautiful Lily. I hold out my arms and she runs up to me.

  “You are such a liar.” Seriously? That kid won’t shut up and if his mom doesn’t come to get him, I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.

  “You are the only liar, little boy. And no one likes you because you’re a bully. Let’s go Lily.” I pick up our things and walk past a shocked looking woman who I assume is the bully’s mom. I know I should keep going but for some reason I want to give this woman a piece of my mind.

  “Sorry to bother you, is Tim your son?”