A Sister's Crusade

by Ann Turner

  ‘I have missed you,’ he breathed, once they were completed. ‘There was no other woman to compare with you and I thought about you every night, thought about holding you in my arms.’

  These words were a soothing balm, easing away the lonely days and nights without him, and Aubrette felt safe in his arms. She murmured a satisfied reply, turning to rest her head on her hand while she watched Simon dress.

  ‘My stay is not for long. I am to return to Normandy soon by command of the king,’ he continued as he dressed and brushed the stalks of hay from his clothes. Aubrette felt her stomach drop; he was back here only to be gone again so soon. He looked into her dismayed face and smiled at her expression, reaching down and kissing her cheek. ‘I shall bring my family with me, as this move will be permanent. The king needs a lieutenant and he wants me to take the position.’

  ‘Will I still see you?’ she asked, worried.

  He stretched out a hand that Aubrette took and he pulled her to her feet. ‘Perhaps not as much as I desire, as I shall have duties to perform and I will be travelling in the name of the king,’ Simon explained. ‘Rowena and you will be lodged in suitable accommodation, but it will make our time together more special. Now, I must get to the castle. The constable will be wondering what detains me, and I cannot say it was my beautiful whore.’

  He departed, leaving Aubrette to linger for a while longer so they would not be seen together. She mulled over his words. They would be returning to France, possibly never to return to England.

  Aubrette returned to Rowena later in the day, curious to know whether her sister knew of the forthcoming move to France. She said nothing; either Rowena did not know or she was keeping the revelation to herself.

  It was during the fine meal they shared that Simon chose to tell his wife of the permanent move to Normandy. Rowena could not disguise her dismay, as she wanted to remain in Oxford, in England. He reminded her that as his wife, she was obliged to follow him and she agreed, still freshly enamoured with him.

  Over the following months, the preparations for the move to Normandy picked up a pace and carts of furniture and belongings started on their journey to the new home. Rowena was able to announce that she was pregnant once more and cautiously anticipated the move to her new home, as her previous time in France had been marred by heartache. Simon suggested she return to Romhill and stay with her family until the baby was born. She wrote to her mother, Petronella, with news of the pregnancy and Simon’s forthcoming relocation, requesting if she could come home for her confinement. Petronella wrote back to say that there had been an outbreak of the plague in the area and she should stay away, so as to protect herself and the precious baby she carried. This would mean that Rowena had no option but to accompany her husband to his new post.

  It was at this time that Aubrette also discovered, to her own amazement, that she too had conceived. It must have occurred on Simon’s first day home. This now threw up a host of problems. How would Rowena react to this revelation? Would she finally realise that the mistress who had preoccupied him had been her all along – and that after his professing of love and loyalty to his wife, he still deceived her?

  Aubrette managed to get Simon alone during his duties one day. He was surprised she had sought him out so openly and took her into a small room to discover what she had to say. First he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her close to kiss her passionately. At first, her kiss matched his own, and then to his surprise, she drew back.

  ‘Listen to me, Simon, I have news for you,’ she began. He looked puzzled. ‘I am also with child. Rowena and I shall be brought to bed at the same time. What can I do?’

  Simon uttered an oath and ran a hand through his hair, lost for words. ‘Say nothing to my wife at the moment. I must think of what we can do.’ He pulled her close again, grinning. ‘But the thought of my child growing inside your body is wonderful news.’

  That evening, Aubrette sat with Rowena and, as Simon had said, kept silent about the news. Rowena talked with careful hope for her own unborn child. She had taken potions to help her carry successfully and Simon agreed, with restraint, that this was the right thing to do. She happily showed him the amulet, which she had not removed since the day it had been given to her. It had worked and she was having his baby.

  Yet history would cruelly repeat itself and, once again, Rowena miscarried. This was the baby that the wise woman had falsely promised would unite her family. The amulet was flung with venom across the room, hitting the wall and smashing into pieces. A useless piece of junk.

  ‘I shall not need this piece of foolish scrap,’ she spat. ‘False promises and false hope, given and received. The wise woman has been nothing but a liar, who gave me pie crust promises.’

  This sad affair gave Simon the solution to the problem of his mistress’s own pregnancy. He explained his plan to Aubrette, who agreed it was the only way for her to keep her baby, though the news would devistate Rowena.

  Rowena sat straight-backed in her chair, hands resting lightly on the arms, and regarded the two people standing in front of her. She had known her husband bedded other women and had taken a mistress – what man did not? – and she had foolishly assumed that the slut had been dispatched. She had never realised for a moment that the mistress had been her own sister.

  She had cried on Aubrette’s shoulder in her misery when she had lost that first child – her first boy, born too early, born dead, and she had had to feel the flow of blood haemorrhage from her body other times, carrying away her desire for happiness. And now she found out that Simon had been involved in adulterous adventures with Aubrette? Had this been carrying on since the girl was dismissed? Of course it had, otherwise she would not be pregnant now. When had they met to fulfil their carnal desires? Did she revel in Simon’s touch?

  Rowena did not want to know; all she wanted to find out was what would happen now that a baby had been conceived. Could Aubrette succeed where she had failed? It was this thought that disturbed Rowena most. What would happen if her sister brought into the world a healthy, living child? Simon’s child. What would he do with her when his mistress gave him this child? Would he put her aside as a barren woman, unable to give her husband a child? She had trusted and loved this woman for the whole of her life, and now this.

  ‘I welcomed you back to me, Simon. I was happy to have you by my side again, and believed you when you told me you had changed and would be loyal to me. You haven’t changed; you are incapable of change.’ Her voice broke with sorrow and she stopped talking to regain her composure, pulling in her bottom lip to control her emotions. She then looked directly at Aubrette. ‘And all this time I loved you too, and you were spreading your legs for him. When did it first happen? Have you been fooling me for years? Was that kitchen maid used as a cover to hide your deceit? I had wondered why you were so distraught when she was found dead.’

  Rowena, having leant forward in her chair, now sat back heavily and sighed. Simon was looking arrogant, as if there was nothing to be ashamed of. Aubrette, meanwhile, felt ashamed at what she had done to her sister. Rowena could not smile; she still felt the overwhelming sense of loss from the last miscarriage, and could not feel delighted for her sister’s condition. Had it been fathered by another man, she would have felt happy for her, even though she had failed so many times in her own quest to have a child. However, her husband had come up with a solution that might just work. She did not like it, but it was the only solution for her that would mean she didn’t have to face the world again as a failure in her wifely duties.

  ‘My husband has suggested that you must remain hidden and I shall wear padding to make it look as if my child still grows. If there is tittle-tattle on my recent loss, I shall say that a second baby was growing in my womb. You will give birth in secret to a healthy infant – if you are capable of doing that – and I shall announce that I have given birth and keep the child as my own.’
Rowena stopped talking and gave a hollow laugh. ‘This is like your mother giving you up, and like you, my child shall never know who its real mother ever was.’

  Aubrette remained silent; now was not the time to correct her sister that she had actually discovered her mother.

  ‘Come with me and I shall show you where you will live until after our confinement, then I shall leave for Normandy with my child.’ Rowena rose to her feet, waiting for Simon to coolly offer his arm, and led Aubrette to a large room at the top of the town house, in which there was sparse furniture and a tall screen. ‘You shall remain in here. When I am also here, entertaining visitors, you will hide behind the screen and remain there until I say you can leave. It will look to all as if you have disappeared.’ She looked at the bed. ‘Here I shall receive well-wishers after my baby is born and I hold him in my arms.’

  ‘This is for the best; no one shall know and I shall have my son,’ explained Simon, satisfied with his plan.

  Aubrette looked around the bleak room. ‘How will you explain my sudden absence and who else will know?’ she asked.

  Rowena looked at her husband expectantly for the answer. He thought deeply. ‘You have accompanied me to Normandy to prepare everything for my pregnant wife’s arrival,’ he said in a moment of inspiration. ‘Wife, you shall hire a midwife who can be trusted to live here during Aubrette’s confinement.’

  ‘Do I have any say in this?’ Aubrette asked.

  ‘You have nothing,’ snapped Rowena. ‘You have had my husband right in front of me and I never imagined it was you. I trusted you and told you how unhappy I was, when he was humping you the whole time. Why you?’ The bitter tears sprung from her eyes.

  ‘When your first child was born dead, Simon came to me and said he needed comfort. It happened then and just never stopped,’ confessed Aubrette. ‘I found I wanted to be with him, because he made me feel alive.’

  Rowena’s glare of hurt and anger silenced her from saying more. ‘Comfort!’ she snorted in derision. ‘I do not need to listen to this. Food shall be provided for you,’ Rowena said, quietly, and turned to leave the room. She glanced at Simon. ‘Say your farewell to your whore; the next time you see her, she will be lighter of our son.’ Her voice was flat, hardly suppressing the pain she endured as she passed him. Her chin was high, in an attempt to keep her dignity.

  Simon hesitantly turned to Aubrette and took her hand in his.

  ‘Keep your spirits high. I’ll not let my wife poison my mind to you.’ He put his head close to her face and kissed her cheek, hearing a little moan of distress from his wife who was watching. ‘What anyone says, what anyone thinks, I will know you are the mother of my child,’ he whispered, before returning to his waiting wife and departing with her.

  Aubrette stood in the middle of the room, alone, and looked around. There was little to like in this prison of hers. The furniture was simple and serviceable; on the table, there was a box full of her sewing skeins, needles and materials, so she could make clothes for her baby while she waited for the birth. Sitting on the bed, she found it surprisingly comfortable – more so than she had imagined. She would become accustomed to it; after all, she was having Simon’s child and would endure anything because the child was fathered by him.

  19

  The months passed slowly. Simon had left for Normandy without saying goodbye to his mistress. Rowena had made sure of it. Aubrette’s rooms were at the rear of the town house, away from views of the street, so she was even unable to watch him ride away. She was growing large with her child and, with one trusted servant assisting, Rowena added more padding to her body. She asked her sister how much the child moved and how she was feeling, then would tell people that her child was thriving. No one appeared to notice that her swollen belly was not genuine, they marvelled that even though Rowena had miscarried, the second child continued to grow. It was a miracle! They also accepted the absence of Aubrette without question.

  Rowena began to spend more time with Aubrette, partly through boredom. She was still cool to her sister, but the initial hatred first felt at the revelation of her husband’s infidelity was beginning to subside. She realised this would be the only way she would hold a child of her own and reluctantly began to accept it. Aubrette, however, was still expected to hide behind the screen if anyone not privy to the falsity entered the room.

  The time for her confinement was drawing near and she was feeling heavy and uncomfortable in the final weeks. The midwife had been instructed on this peculiar situation and was paid well for her silence. Rowena spent each day in the room waiting for the baby to be born that would become her own.

  Soon after, Aubrette went into labour, with the midwife and Rowena assisted her. It was a long and successful delivery, eventually the baby boy was born healthy and both he and his mother survived the ordeal.

  Aubrette held her son close, inspecting him, counting all his tiny fingers and toes, and fell instantly in love with him. Looking up, she saw Rowena with tears of joy in her eyes and her arms open, wanting to receive the boy that would be raised as her own.

  ‘Let the mother feed him first,’ advised the midwife and she assisted Aubrette, as Rowena stood back and looked on.

  ‘Thank you, thank you for my son,’ Rowena whispered, softly. ‘Will you be his nurse to tend and feed him?’

  Exhausted and euphoric after the birth, Aubrette felt full of goodness and could not think of what to say. She would still be close to her baby, so she agreed.

  Once the baby was fed, and with the midwife tutting, she helped Aubrette to her feet to hide behind the screen, allowing Rowena to climb into the bed and the baby was handed over. She would now be able to receive visitors and accept their congratulations.

  Behind the screen, Aubrette listened to the visitors that arrived to view the new mother and baby, and she was unable to hold back the tears. She wanted to hold her son, to feel him, to get to know him, but all she was able to do was feed him, change his clothing and hand him back to the woman whom he would call mother. She would never be permitted to make decisions for him, or proudly show him to the world as her own. Was this how her own mother, Esma, had felt the day she had been born? History had repeated itself. At least she would be near him to watch him grow and to love him, even if the boy did not know she was his natural mother. This was a luxury that had been denied to her mother.

  A messenger was dispatched to Normandy to tell Simon he had a son. When the reply came back, it was short and to the point. The boy would be named Eustace.

  When Rowena was considered fit enough to travel, though it was Aubrette who told her sister that she felt well, the house was closed down and several servants were dismissed. Then, with her son, Aubrette and the retained servants, they began the journey from Oxford to Normandy to be reunited with Simon.

  Aubrette had regained her strength quickly and knew she could withstand the journey. She was excited at the prospect of seeing her lover again – even Rowena felt a thrill for the moment she would be able to show her husband their son. Eustace was a strong and healthy boy and there was no doubt that he would thrive.

  Rowena and Aubrette were now reconciled, as the baby they shared had brought them back together. They talked over the prospect of whether Rowena could naturally produce a son for her husband. With three failures behind her, she had become sceptical to her success, but she was still hopeful of bearing a child. Aubrette carefully avoided talking about her and Simon coming together and the possibility of having more children, though both sisters knew he would bed Aubrette as he would bed his wife. He was selfish enough to keep both women, and did not want to choose. They agreed that they would not be divided again. They were raised as sisters and they would remain sisters. They would share everything, Simon and their son. This would suit all three in this peculiar situation.

  20

  Simon was in residence at the castle in Vernon and stood
in the courtyard, waiting for the arrival of his wife and his mistress. The procession rolled in and he saw that Rowena was riding a docile horse at the head of the procession, smiling brightly as she returned his gaze.

  Further back, Aubrette was riding in a carriage, holding Eustace, and she kept looking out of the window to see Simon as soon as possible. Her heart leapt with joy when her eyes set on him; he was as tall and handsome as she had remembered. She watched with a twinge of jealousy as he lifted Rowena down from her horse to hold her tight and kiss her. They exchanged words briefly and then he began looking along the line of riders for his son. This was the cue Aubrette needed to step from the carriage, balancing Eustace on her hip. Simon saw them and ran towards them both, a broad smile on his face as he saw his son for the first time.

  Aubrette dutifully curtsied, and Simon put a hand under her arm to raise her, his eyes not leaving his son’s face. ‘He is as handsome as I imagined,’ Simon said, unable to hide the excitement in his voice as he took the boy from Aubrette’s arms and held the baby, scrutinising him.

  Eustace, having never seen his father before, stuck his trembling lower lip out and began to sob bitterly, frightened by this strange man. Unsure of what to do next, Simon hastily handed the baby back to Aubrette, while she made comforting sounds to the boy and he settled. Smiling with satisfaction, Simon turned and went back to his wife’s side and escorted her into the castle.