Simple Amish Love 3-Book Collection

by Rachel Stoltzfus

  “Four months now but I still have a lot of family in Hopkinsville so I’ve still been attending church services there.”

  “That explains why we’ve never met. I knew the Schwartz property was for sale but I didn’t realize anyone had moved in.”

  “I’m slowly making the transition from Hopkinsville. I’ll be at the Lapp’s barn raising coming up next Thursday. And I was thinking I might attend next month’s community dinner.”

  “I’m sure Hope Landing will feel more like home once you get to know everyone.”

  He stops in front of the Post Office and comes around to help me out of the buggy. “If you’re going to be here for a few minutes, I can run over to the tractor supply and come back. I just need to pick up a part that I ordered.”

  “Ya, that’s fine. I’ll probably have to make a new label and get a new box anyway; this one’s kind of soggy.”

  “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

  He leaves and I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the glass post office doors as I step inside. I look a fright, from shoes to bonnet, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I pull the quilt out of the old box, still safe in the plastic bag I wrapped it in, and step up to the cashier when it’s my turn.

  The postman helps me select the quickest shipping method, which also happens to be the least expensive, for the size and weight of the package. He gives me a new box and I fill out a new label before retrieving the property tax payment envelope from my purse. I pay the postage for both items and go back outside to wait for John.

  It’s still raining and the temperature has dropped several degrees, but I feel more unnoticeable here than in the busy post office. I stay close to the building under the overhang of the roof to keep as warm and dry as possible. Had I been able to manage holding an umbrella and steering a bike at the same time, I would have brought one, but there was ne way I could have.

  I turn my back to the glass to avoid looking at my reflection and making myself even more self-conscious about the wet fabric of my dress clinging to my figure. Even in the plain black mourning dress, I look immodest. Inconspicuously, I try to pull the fabric away from my body as Mr. Troyer pulls alongside the curb.

  He hurries around to open the buggy door for me and helps me inside. I admire his gentlemanly resolve in spite of the rain.

  “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” he says kindly.

  “Ne, I’m grateful for the ride,” I assure him.

  We get back on the road and I try to ignore the chill setting into my bones.

  “So how long does it take to make a quilt?” he asks curiously.

  “It depends on whether I have an existing pattern, how complicated the design is and how big the finished quilt needs to be. Some of the smaller quilts can be finished in two week’s time and some of the larger ones take months to finish.

  “Do you make them by yourself?”

  “My eldest daughter Mary loves to help, just the way I did at her age. She helps me choose and cut the fabrics and I’m teaching her to plan the layout of the designs. She’s very methodical for a ten year old. My youngest daughter Hannah is six. She counts pieces, sorts and fetches things - but like most six year olds, it’s hard to get her to sit still for very long.”

  “Are they your only kinner?”

  “Ne I have three boys too.” I chuckle. “Mark is Mary’s twin, they’re ten years old. He’s creative and studious like his sister, but he’s an adventurer, that one. He’ll try his hand at everything and loves to figure out how things work. Then there’s Samuel, who’s eight. He’s small but mighty and he loves to entertain everyone with his stories. When his daed took him fishing last; he talked for two days, as if he’d harpooned a whale.” I smile at the thought. “I think he’s taken his daed’s death the hardest in some ways. My youngest is five, his name is Joshua. He’s a kind soul, but a little rambunctious and curious about everything.” I pause, realizing that I’ve been going on and on about my family. “Do you have children?”

  “My wife died several years back, she had been ill for a long time. We always wanted a big family but it just wasn’t in God’s plan for us.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “And I for yours,” he says thoughtfully, “I suppose that’s one of the reasons I left Hopkinsville; it just felt like the longer I was there, the harder it was to move on with my life. My brothers are all married with families of their own and my parents are well cared for. It was just time for me to make a fresh start and try something else.”

  “I admire your independence.”

  “Was your husband a farmer?”

  “Ya, he was raised as a cabinetmaker but he had a greater love for being outdoors and working the land; how about you?”

  “Och, I’m a farmer at heart, and I suppose I will always keep up the tradition, but I guess I’m a lot like your son in that I love to try my hand at things and find out how they work. We were raised on a small farm but my daed and his brother started a construction company once all of the kinner were all out of school. I’ve done masonry, carpentry, roofing and just about anything involved with building houses.

  “When my wife was ill, I took to working in a factory and learned a lot about heating and cooling systems and engines. After she died, I opened a small equipment and engine shop on the property and introduced my younger brother to the business. When he was able to manage it on his own, I sold it to him with the main house and the farm and I moved here.”

  “It’s a rare gift to be skilled in so many trades. I’m sure you’ll be a big help to the community.”

  “I guess never having children to raise afforded me the freedom to work as I pleased, and to explore different skills and hobbies. It’s been useful, but I often wonder if it was as rewarding as a family would have been.”

  He stops the buggy in front of the old Schwartz farmhouse. “You’re shivering, come inside the house and get warm for a minute while I give this part to my nephew so he can get the tractor running again. I could grab my tools, so I can fix your bike when I take you home, if you’d like. It should only take a few minutes.”

  “Denki, I appreciate that.”

  Lost in our conversation, I hadn’t even noticed that the rain outside had slowed to a drizzle. He comes around, helps me out of the buggy and then shows me inside. The house is large but rather bare, even by plain standards. It could certainly use a woman’s touch, I reflected, though I decide to keep that observation to myself.

  He fetches a towel and a heavy blanket from a closet in the hallway and hands them to me, “I’ll just find my nephew and come right back, he’s probably in the barn.”

  I watch through the screen door for a moment as he walks toward the barn. He’s a strapping sort of man, muscular and broad shouldered, but there’s a gentle assuredness about him that puts me at ease and he’s definitely ne stranger to a hard day’s work.

  I hurry to towel myself as dry as I can from my face to my stockings, then fold the towel neatly over the back of a kitchen chair before wrapping the blanket around my arms and shoulders. When he returns, he helps me into the buggy, puts his toolbox in the back and leads us down the driveway. On the way home, I think about all of the things I still need to accomplish today and how much worse it could have been if he hadn’t stopped to help me.

  “Do your kinner attend the parochial school?” he asks curiously.

  “Ya, my four oldest do, my mamm keeps my youngest during the day so I can quilt when the chores are done.”

  “They probably already know my nephew Caleb then; he alternates with Eli Lapp to bring the kinner home from school when the weather is bad. He’s been staying with me every two weeks since I moved here to help me get things going.”

  “I’ve never met him personally but it is a big help not to have to pick the children up in the rain or snow. Is that why you attend services in Hopkinsville?”

  “Ya, I bring him here after church and he stays with me until the next time we go. H
e wants to try his hand at farming, and this gives him two weeks in each place, so he can learn without neglecting his family at home. My oldest brother still works in the construction business so Caleb never really learned to work the land. He’s got quite a gift with kids and animals though. Even if he doesn’t become a farmer, I think it’s good for him to have the experience.”

  “That’s what I want for my boys too. I don’t mind if they farm or find some other trade; that’s between them and the call God puts in their hearts, but I still want them to learn how to work the land and to know that they can always provide for their families.”

  I think of the fields that need to be planted in a couple of weeks as we approach the farm, “That’s my property just ahead on the right.”

  He pulls onto the drive that leads to the main house, “Och, ya, someone told me this farm might be coming up for sale when I first started looking to buy in the area. I remember thinking what a nice property it is. I’m glad you decided to keep it.”

  I know deep down that some of the townspeople are still expecting and maybe even hoping that I’ll sell the farm and find something smaller. I’m sure that some of the older community members feel that a 30 acre farm isn’t a suitable home for a widow with five young children to look after. And I’m sure they have relatives that would jump at the chance to settle in my place, but I’ve never considered selling.

  I say nothing, for fear of making him uncomfortable. He means ne harm in repeating what he was told and I don’t want to stir up strife. I just thank God for his kindness and for putting John Troyer in my path today.

  CHAPTER TWO

  John parks in front of the barn. “Your bike probably won’t take long to fix, the chain probably just slipped out of its track when your dress got caught. I might have a chain guard back at the shop in Hopkinsville – we work on a lot of bikes and buggies there. I’ll check when I take my nephew back in a few days.”

  “Denki, you’re very kind. I don’t ride my bicycle that often but I was afraid to take the family buggy since the wheel has started to wobble like it’s going to fly off. My husband used to take care of that sort of thing and I’ve been so busy this past week that I didn’t have time to have anyone look at it.”

  “Most of my plans for the day will have to wait because of the rain. I’d be happy to take a look at it while I’m here.”

  “If you could fit it into your day, I’d be happy to pay you for your services.”

  “Let me see if it can be fixed here or whether it has to be taken to a shop.”

  I feel a little uncomfortable inviting a man into my home but I don’t want to be unkind when he’s been so helpful. “Come on in and warm yourself by the stove before you get started, your clothes must be as damp as mine. I’ll make you a cup of coffee or some cocoa.”

  “A cup of coffee would be terrific,” he says, rubbing his hands together to warm them.

  I leave the kitchen door open, show him inside and offer him a seat at the table near the wood burning stove. Our church district is considered modern or New-Order Amish because we’re permitted to have electric in the home but I grew up using a wood burning stove and continuing to do so doesn’t bother me. I light the stove and fill the kettle before I put it on to boil.

  “Och, your faucet’s leaking; let me grab my wrenches and see if I can tighten it for you while we wait for the kettle.

  Before I can dismiss the notion, he’s halfway out the door to fetch his tools, “Denki,” I call out as he closes the screen door. There are so many little reminders of Jacob’s absence constantly creeping up around the house that I suppose I need to get used to the idea of letting others help me tend to them.

  He returns with his wrenches and goes to work on the faucet as I pull the French press, two mugs and coffee from the cupboard. When John is satisfied that the leak has been fixed, he sits back down next to the warm stove.

  “Do you prefer the wood stove for cooking?” he asks curiously.

  “We bought the farm from an Old Order Amish family, so it came with the house. We intended to replace it someday but it wasn’t as high on our list of priorities as my gas clothes dryer,” I chuckle.

  “It reminds me of when I was a kid, all of us huddling around the stove after being outside on a cold day to get warm. When my wife was ill, I converted most of our house to solar power thinking it might be easier for her if she ever recovered. My dad did the same at the family house, so my mamm uses electric now too – but she says it’s not the same.”

  “It’s certainly nice to have some modern conveniences. But sometimes the old ways are still the best. I’ve never really cooked much on an electric stove, so I really don’t know.”

  “I’ve heard some of the women in Hopkinsville say they prefer electric stoves and some say they don’t – but I’ve never heard any of the men say that they miss chopping all that wood.”

  We both laugh, “I suppose that’s true.”

  “It’s nice to sit by the fire again though.”

  I wash enough potatoes for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow, then set them aside as the kettle begins to whistle. I prepare the coffee and pour us both a cup.

  He takes a few sips, “Och, that’s gut. I forgot how much better it tastes when it’s prepared properly,” he smiles. “My wife used to use a French press, but I can never manage it without getting grounds into the coffee.”

  “It’s difficult adjusting to some things alone isn’t it?”

  “It’s the little things that seem the most challenging sometimes.”

  “I think it would have been much harder for me if it hadn’t been for the children. In spite of how I felt on any given day, they still had to be nurtured and cared for. I remember being in the house on the day of the burial. It was crowded and bustling with people, when all I wanted was to be left alone. After the meal, I had gone upstairs to lie down and when I woke, I could hear my children laughing and playing with the kinner who were there. I felt so angry at how they could be laughing and enjoying time with friends when we just put their daed in the ground only a few hours before. I marched down the stairs to scold them discreetly and halfway down God said to me, ‘Don’t be angry Sarah; they’re behaving exactly as they’re supposed to be. Go and let your soul be comforted.’ It really helped me to see things differently.”

  I realized that I couldn’t let Jacob’s death keep me from being who I was supposed to be either. I had children who needed a strong and nurturing mamm, a mamm who needed a faithful daughter, friends who needed my kindness and maybe someday, there would be a man in need of a woman who is willing to stand firm and able to love again. I don’t know what the future holds but I feel that neither God nor Jacob would approve of anything less.”

  I sigh self-consciously, “I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Sometimes I think that as Amish people, we expect that shunning the dead from our thoughts and our conversations will make it easier to go on with life. But I don’t think that’s really possible and the more I try to forget, the more I feel tormented by his memory. One day, I finally just stopped trying. Jacob was a good man, loving him taught me a lot and helped me become who I am. I could ne more forget him than I could forget having a left arm. But as time passes and I and allow myself to have hope again, for my children and for my future, I feel less sorrow and more peace when I think about him.”

  I look down at my hands knowing the church probably wouldn’t approve of my openness, especially with someone of the opposite sex, but it felt like something in my heart was leading me to share as the words seemed to spill from my mouth.

  The Bible says in James 5:16 ‘Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another, that ye may be healed.’, so whether community tradition approves or not, I believe that God does. I imagine it’s probably harder for our Amish men to find support and understanding in their grief from anyone, male or female.

  “It sounds like you’re handling it well.”

  “Och, I have an occasional
bad day but it’s getting easier. Would you like some more coffee?” I ask, taking his empty cup.

  “Actually I think I’m warm enough to go back outside. I’d like to take a look at that buggy before it gets much later, in case we need a part from town.”

  Outside, he stops to unload my bike and carries it to the barn. I show him to the buggy with its wobbly wheel. “If you don’t need me for anything, I’m going to go change into some dry clothes and start my afternoon chores.”

  “Go ahead, I’ll be fine.”

  I return to the kitchen and tidy up, putting the French press in the dish drain to dry, before grabbing a bath towel and going into the bedroom to change. The rain is still drizzling outside but I feel much better after the coffee. I strip out of my rain soaked dress, stockings and underwear and suddenly feel ten pounds lighter. I swish my hair in the towel, to get it as dry as possible, then towel my damp skin from my face to my toes. By the time I’m fully dressed in fresh dry clothes, I feel ten degrees warmer too.

  I gather the laundry which would normally be done by this hour, and head downstairs to the basement to begin the first load. With seven family members including mamm and six separate beds to change, I usually wash our clothes on Mondays and Thursdays, saving the linens for Saturdays when the children are all home to help.

  I still use the wringer washer my parents gave us as a wedding present but thankfully Jacob bought me a propane operated clothes dryer when we learned that I was pregnant with Josh. Whenever possible, to keep costs down, I will still use my wooden drying rack; but that dryer has saved me from getting behind more times than I care to admit. Today will have to be one of those days. I run the first load of washing through the wringer and start the dryer.

  Back upstairs, I step inside the food pantry and immediately think of Jacob as I always do. It used to be the laundry room when we bought the house, but Jacob lined three entire walls with shelves and cupboards so that I could store the food I canned closer to the kitchen. We also planned to put an upright freezer on the wall next to the basement door someday but he died before we could make that happen.