Hal Spacejock 6: Safe Art

by Simon Haynes

  The sling was in poor shape, with some straps cut through or missing and others crammed with branches and roof tiles. The rock was still in one piece, but there were deep scars and scratches from tearing down powerlines and demolishing the old barn.

  Hal was still wondering what to do when Clunk arrived with a bucket full of soapy water. The robot took out a scrubbing brush and started work on the rock, sending grit and suds flying. When he was done, Hal gave him a hand to remove the sling. As they worked together, he became aware of something.

  "Hang on. I thought you were having problems with your eyes?"

  "Ah, that." Clunk shrugged. "Strangely enough, they seem to have come right."

  Hal frowned. "Just like that?"

  "Yes, it must have been a temporary fault."

  "If you say so." Hal looked at the robot in concern. "Get them checked out as soon as possible, okay?"

  Clunk looked embarrassed. "Er, yes. As soon as possible." He left to stow the cargo sling, while Hal went to tell Meri and Harriet about their successful landing.

  * * *

  Hal stood in the lift, one finger poised over the control panel as he tried to work out the best way to get his passengers off the ship. If Harriet left first, she might see Meri coming down the ramp, which was the last thing he wanted. No, better to get Meri away first, so she could pretend she'd arrived before the Volante.

  Decision made, Hal pressed the lowest button. The doors opened a few second later, and he entered the lounge. "Are you ready to leave, M—"

  Hal froze, Meri's name still on his lips. Sitting on the sofa, with a mug of steaming coffee by her side, was Harriet Walsh.

  "Good morning," she said. "Do you want something to drink?"

  "Er, no, I'm fine." Hal glanced around furtively, trying to work out where Meri was hiding. The AutoChef was standing inside its plastic safety fence: nowhere to hide there. The gym equipment wouldn't hide a cat, let alone a full-grown human, and he couldn't see any feet poking out from under the big viewscreen. The drinks trolley was a possibility, but when he lifted the tablecloth to peer underneath he discovered the shelf was empty. He moved behind the bar, pretending to inspect the glasses hanging from the wooden rail, and did a quick check of the cupboards. No Meri to be found.

  "Lost something?" asked Harriet.

  "No, just tidying up." Was it his imagination, or did she already know about his secret passenger? Hal decided to change the subject. "Did I, er, hear you leaving your cabin in the night?"

  Walsh looked over the rim of her mug. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said evenly.

  "I had this really vivid dream. You came to my cabin, and we —"

  "Yes, I can imagine the sort of thing." Walsh studied her coffee, turning the mug side to side in her hands. "And no, I didn't leave my cabin."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Would I lie to you?" Walsh glanced at him. "By the way, I have new orders from Inspector Boson. I'm going to need your help with something."

  Faced with the chance of real Peace Force work, Hal forgot about Meri. "Of course. What do you need?"

  "Overalls, an old flight suit … you know, a disguise."

  "Why?"

  "I have to sneak into the weapons factory."

  Hal stared at her. "You're mad! Do you know what the security will be like?"

  "I have my orders, Hal. There's some data I have to get my hands on, and it's really important."

  "Can't you get a search warrant? Do things properly?"

  "Of course not. Whenever we go through official channels, someone warns the Backsight people beforehand. By the time we get there, everything's sanitised."

  "But —"

  "Hal, Inspector Boson has been after these people for thirty years. If I gather evidence, help to nail them, he'll be in my corner forever. You don't know what that would mean for my career."

  "Yeah, if you're still alive."

  Harriet stood up, setting her coffee mug aside, and at that moment Hal remembered he still had no idea where Meri was. "Listen, why don't you put your feet up for a bit?"

  "No, I have to prepare for my mission."

  "Wait here and I'll bring you that flight suit. Okay?"

  Walsh hesitated. "I guess I could use another coffee," she said at last.

  "Good. I'll be right back." Hal strode to the lift, peering over the armchairs in case Meri was crouching behind them. She wasn't.

  As the doors closed he bit his lip. Where the hell had she got to?

  * * *

  Clunk was sitting in the flight deck with a satisfied expression on his face. "I think Mr Spacejock did quite well under the circumstances," he said, as he adjusted something on the console.

  The Navcom snorted. "It was a terrible idea. Risky, unnecessary and foolish."

  "He's got to learn how to fly one day," said Clunk mildly. "Faking a vision problem created the ideal test situation."

  "He might have crashed the ship!"

  "Nonsense. I was ready to take over at a moment's notice."

  "What about the mountain? Was that part of your plan?"

  Clunk pursed his lips.

  "And the barn. Was that an ideal test situation?"

  "It was only a derelict structure. No harm done, and it proved a useful safety lesson."

  "It certainly did: humans shouldn't fly space ships."

  * * *

  The doors opened on the second deck, and Hal peered into the toilet cubicle before jogging along the corridor. He looked into the old rec room, now converted into a spacious cabin, but it was empty. He checked his own room, but the rumpled bed and pile of clothes didn't look any more disturbed than usual. The shower door was open, and clearly empty.

  Worried now, Hal ran along the corridor to the hold. The inner door was open, and he stuck his head through for a quick recce. No, apart from the artworks the hold was empty too.

  Hal frowned. Where had Meri got to? She couldn't get to the flight deck, so that only left … uh-oh. He ran along the corridor, skidding to a halt in front of Harriet's door. Faintly, he could hear running water, and when he put his ear to the door he heard a woman's voice. Meri was singing in the shower, right there in Harriet's cabin!

  Hal was about to knock, then had a better idea. He looked up, seeking the familiar speaker grille in the ceiling. "Navcom, can you hear me?"

  "Yes, Mr Spacejock."

  "Could you turn off the hot water, please?"

  "Are you sure? It's currently in use."

  "I'm certain. Cut it."

  A split second later Meri's happy singing stopped with a shriek of surprise. There was a string of curses, and when they dried up Hal knocked gently on the door. "It's me," he whispered.

  He heard the pad of footsteps, and the door opened. Meri was just wrapping herself in a towel, and behind her Hal could see her clothes laid out on the bunk. "What the hell happened?" she demanded, her teeth chattering with the cold.

  "Sorry about that. It was a system fault."

  "Can you fix it?"

  "Not right now. Come on, you've got to get out of there."

  "Why?"

  "We've landed."

  "So?" Meri gestured at the bed. "And why didn't you tell me there was a cabin up here? I could have slept in a proper bed."

  Hal glanced towards the lift. If Harriet came up now … "Never mind the spare bed. Come on!"

  "But —"

  "This area is off limits. It's being … fumigated." Hal pushed past and rolled her clothes up in a spare towel. Then he poked his head into the corridor, checked it was clear and hustled Meri across the way to his own cabin. "Stay in there, and don't come out until I say so. Understood?"

  Hal grabbed the blankets off his bed and charged back to Harriet's cabin, where he did his best to mop the shower dry. When he was done he straightened the bed, and he'd just snatched a stray stocking off the floor when the cabin door opened to admit Harriet Walsh.

  "I can explain!" said Hal quickly, whipping the stocking behind his ba
ck while trying to bundle up the wet blankets with his free hand.

  "Laundry day, is it?"

  "Something like that. Excuse me, coming through."

  Harriet stood aside, and as Hal left he saw her eyeing the shower cubicle. Then the door closed, and Hal leant against the wall, breathing deeply to calm his nerves. He was just getting his breath back when Meri looked out of his cabin. "Shhh!" hissed Hal frantically. He tried to put a finger to his lips, forgetting he was holding her stocking, and Meri raised her eyebrows as he jammed it in his face. Hal took the corridor in two steps, bundling Meri into his cabin. "I said to stay inside," he hissed.

  "Why, is someone else on board?"

  "Yes. I mean no. I mean —" Hal dumped the wet blankets on his bunk and pressed the stocking into Meri's hands. "Just stay in here, all right? Don't open the door, don't wander around the ship and don't take any showers."

  "Can I get dressed?"

  "Sure."

  "I'll need my suitcase."

  "Where is it?"

  "I left it in the other cabin, right under the bed."

  * * *

  Harriet opened her door to find Hal Spacejock standing outside. He looked jumpy, and if she didn't know better she'd say he was trying to hide something. "Another laundry run?"

  Hal pulled a face. "I left some old clothes under your bed. Can I …?"

  "The old flight suit, you mean? I'll get it out if you like."

  "No, let me. The case is very heavy."

  Walsh stood back to let him in, and watched as he got down on hands and knees to look under the bed. He reached underneath, and with a hefty pull he dragged a suitcase into the middle of the floor. It gleamed under the downlights, and there was a brand new tag attached to the handle. Hal stood the case up, and before he could stop her Walsh inspected the tag. "Meredith Ryder?"

  Hal looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, it's just some stuff."

  "Stuff? What sort of stuff?"

  "Clothes. You know."

  Harriet frowned. Ryder? Where had she heard that name before? It was — yes, she was the woman from the expo. The smart-looking one with the rimless glasses and the expensive jumper. The one she'd seen snogging Hal behind the curtains, wrapping him up like a fluffy pink octopus. But what was her suitcase doing aboard Hal's ship? Then it dawned on her. "Hal, you didn't!"

  "D-didn't what?" For some reason, Hal was staring at her gun. "No! I didn't. I definitely didn't."

  "Don't deny it! The suitcase is right here on the floor. Don't you know how risky it is to carry someone else's luggage?"

  Hal stared at her for a second, and then his face cleared. "Oh, I know. You're absolutely right. It's just it was heavy, and she was at the spaceport, and I said here, I'll carry that for you, and then she got in a cab and I forgot and here it is."

  Harriet hesitated, looking down at the case. Her mission was to hunt down smugglers, and this suitcase might contain the very evidence she was looking for. On the other hand, if she opened the case and found a load of uncut diamonds, Hal would be implicated, and most likely jailed. For a second or two she was torn, unable to choose between her duty as a Peace Force officer and her genuine affection for the foolish, gullible, thick-headed pilot. "Get that thing out of my sight," she said, as affection won out. "Do you understand? I never saw it."

  Relief flooded Hal's face, and he grabbed the suitcase and practically ran for the door. As it opened, he turned to look back, gratitude in every line of his expression. "Thanks."

  "Sure thing. And Hal?"

  "Yes?"

  "Did you have to hide it under my bunk?"

  * * *

  As he left Harriet's cabin, Hal almost bumped into Clunk.

  "Ah, Mr Spacejock, there you are." Clunk looked down. "What are you doing with that suitcase?"

  "I can't talk now!" said Hal quickly. He nodded towards Harriet's door, then towards his own.

  "Ah yes, your little juggling act. Have our two guests encountered each other yet?"

  "It's not funny."

  "Not from your perspective, but I'm enjoying it immensely." Clunk inspected the tag. "What did Ms Walsh say to this?"

  "She thinks I'm a smuggler."

  "Impossible."

  "Why? Do you think I'm too honest?"

  "No, I think you'd have been caught years ago." Clunk released the tag and straightened up. "So, I take it Ms Walsh is in her cabin. Where's Ms Ryder hiding?"

  Hal gestured at a door further along the corridor.

  "Ah yes, excellent thinking. If you want to allay Ms Walsh's suspicions, hiding the other woman in your own bed is the obvious choice."

  "Thanks," said Hal. "I thought it was good, too."

  "I just wish my camera was working," said Clunk sadly.

  "Why? So you can save these precious memories?"

  "No, so I could record the outcome and upload it to Oh Dear, Humanity."

  "They'll be no uploading of anything while I'm around. Now go and unload the bloody artworks." Hal dragged the suitcase into his cabin, where he found Meri using the towel to dry her hair. He grabbed his spare flightsuit, then pushed the suitcase towards Meri. "Here's your stuff. Get dressed, and don't come out until I open the door."

  Hal dashed down the corridor to give Harriet the flightsuit, then returned to guard his cabin. Mentally, he imagined both women getting dressed, and a small part of him wondered which would be finished first. The major part of him just imagined both of them getting dressed.

  Five minutes later the door opened behind him, and Meri looked out. She was wearing a dark blue skirt with a white blouse, and her damp hair was pulled back in a bun. Hal glanced up and down the corridor, then grabbed the suitcase and herded Meri towards the hold. She'd just passed through the inner door when Harriet looked out of her cabin, dressed in Hal's spare flightsuit. Hal pulled the cargo door to just in time, standing with his back to it. "Are you ready for your mission?"

  "All set." Harriet closed her door and walked towards him.

  "You should go through the flight deck," said Hal quickly. "Clunk's busy unloading, and he hates getting disturbed."

  Harriet shrugged and turned for the lift. The doors were open, and as she stepped inside she realised Hal was still leaning against the cargo hold door. "Aren't you coming?"

  "I'm helping Clunk. I'll, er, meet you outside."

  The lift doors closed on Harriet, and Hal darted into the cargo hold. He found Meri eyeing Bright's artworks in concern. "Don't you wrap them?" she asked. "Some of these pieces are really fragile."

  "Never mind that, we've got to run." Hal took her arm and hurried her towards the rear of the hold.

  Clunk was outside, loading the smaller artworks onto a sled. Hal beckoned to the robot, and he waited impatiently while Clunk grounded the sled and made his way up the ramp.

  "What is it, Mr Spacejock?"

  "Go round to the passenger ramp and, er, stop anyone leaving the ship."

  "You mean Ms —"

  "I don't mean anyone in particular," said Hal, with a meaningful look. "Just … you know. I you happen to see anyone, keep her … or him … talking for a bit."

  Clunk glanced at Meri. "Very well. I'll do my best."

  He left, and a few moments later Hal sidled out of the hold. He glanced along the hull towards the front of the ship, peering though the fog at the top of the passenger ramp. Good old Clunk! He was standing on the platform outside the flight deck's airlock, discussing a nearby building with Harriet. From the sound of it, he was enthusing about the building's qualities as though he'd built the thing himself.

  With Harriet safely distracted, Hal beckoned to Meri, and he led her down the cargo ramp to the ground. Through the swirling fog Hal could see an impressive fence, complete with a guard hut and boom gate. Alongside was a large sign, and Hal frowned at the ominous wording:

  Backsight Weapons Facility. Maximum Security! Trespassers will be shot.

  Beyond the fence, Hal could just make out a collection of low-lying buildings. They looked
like squat concrete bunkers in the thick fog, and he shook his head at the sight. "Nice place for an art show."

  "Oh, they're not holding the exhibition in the weapons factory."

  "They're not?"

  "No, the venue's outside the grounds. I'm to organise a truck for the artworks."

  Hal stared at her as the truth dawned on him. Harriet was hoping to accompany him inside the weapons factory, but if the show was being held elsewhere her chances of infiltrating the facility was close to zero. "But, er …"

  "You unload the artworks and I'll tell them to bring the truck. Okay?" Meri took the suitcase and strode towards the gate, the wheels rattling and bumping on the concrete. Before long she was showing her ID to the guards, who checked everything thoroughly, and Hal watched the exchange in growing concern. If Harriet thought his old flightsuit was going to get her inside, she was sadly mistaken.

  Chapter 27

  Hal hurried up the passenger ramp, where Clunk was still enthusing about the local architecture. The robot's bulk was blocking the passenger ramp, and Harriet's patience had all but run out.

  "Hal, will you please tell Clunk to let me past?"

  "Not until you hear about the exhibition."

  Harriet's eyes narrowed. "You're not going to describe the building's innovative design, are you? Clunk's already —"

  "No, not at all." Hal gestured towards the weapons complex. "I just found out they're not holding the show in there. It's somewhere else."

  "Crap." Harriet eyed the guard post. "I'll have to find another way in."

  "Are you kidding? The sign says they shoot trespassers on sight."

  "I have to try, Hal." Harriet gestured towards the fence. "Maybe there's a fallen tree or a hole or something."

  "Why not wait until dark? The art exhibition will distract everyone, and you'll have a much better chance of getting inside the compound. I could come with you, maybe lend a hand."

  "We'll talk about that later. For now, I'm just going to walk the perimeter."

  Hal took her by the shoulders. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."