by Venice Kelly
“Let me run in and change real quick. Alright? This is all new for me too.”
It is the only answer that I know how to give him at the moment when it comes to me and him. I watch him nod his head before he steps away from me to let me walk back inside the house. For now I suppose a truce of sorts has been called, maybe we should just let things progress as we see them. See where it takes us, if it does anywhere.
Fifteen minutes later I step out onto my porch after slipping into a pair of my jeans and a fresh t-shirt. Jake is still there staring at a plank of wood. I certainly didn’t expect him to stay let alone be here it’s the weekend and I am sure he has better things to do than be here.
“You’re still here.”
He looks at me raising his eyebrow for a moment, “I’m still here.”
“Don’t you have other things to do? I don’t want to keep you from them if you do. I’m sure your dad has you working.”
“Nah I try not to work the weekends and my dad’s out of town. Let’s go see what’s going on with Emma’s horse.” His tone is clipped about work, rigged when he talks about it and his father.
That hasn’t changed I can still tell he doesn’t like working for Allan. I nod my head at him, closing the front porch door. I don’t jerk this time when his hand takes mine as we begin to walk to the barn, baby steps I remind myself. We walk in silence down the path and we enter the barn my mother is with Doc Evans. Natalie is talking holding a clipboard and I approach her. I look into the stall and Emma’s gelding Titan is standing but he is barely putting pressure on his front leg.
“So what’s going on?”
“Doc thinks it’s a bone bruise in the right front leg. Mom’s trying to get ahold of Emma’s parents now so we can haul him up to get some x-rays. He came down really hard on that jump last show.” My sister says.
A bone bruise if not treated or rested can lead to a career injury or worse lameness if not treated. Treatment for a bone bruise is easily three to four months and that is if it is a bone bruise. It could be a hairline fracture that we can’t see. Emma is doing well in the standings, enough that she has two more shows before she could go to junior riding championships in Parker. Without a horse to ride though it makes it become a moot point. Natalie is right he landed hard on his leg at the last show and over the last week Emma still has been riding him. Hank pulled her last practice session when he noticed something was off with the horse, citing a pulled muscle.
“Do we have a replacement for her?” I ask going over options in my head.
I know there are a few horses Emma could ride if asked too. Do I think all of them have the quality that Titan does or the build no. A few we do have a lovely mare Berlin she could ride though she’s shorter than Titan. Fiona would be another option. I look over at Jake he and I both thinking the same thing she could ride Pegasus too, Hannah’s horse.
“Hank wants to put her on London to see how she does. London is the same build, has posted the same number in competition in the past.”
I look at her like she and Hank have lost their collective minds London hasn’t been ridden in show in years. Besides that point London is a lot more free-spirited than Titan is, she can take time to get used too. She does have the same physique as Titan, Emma is about my build when I was younger. Looking at my sister I walk down the right side of the stalls to stop at London’s and stare at her. In true stubborn horse fashion she stares back at me I see that hint of a challenge in her eyes as she lets out a heavy sigh eating her grains.
“What does mom think?” I’m annoyed even asking my sister that. Technically my mom is the final say on the business at the moment if she thinks a rider is suited for a horse.
“Mom says it’s up to you. If we did let Emma ride her though someone’s got to get back on her on Emma’s off days. That hasn’t happened in a while, she bucks them right off normally.”
I turn my head to look at my sister who is looking at London and then I realize she’s tried ridding her before and likely London tossed her to the ground. My sister is a good rider, knows her way around a horse. London has always made up her own mind about who rides her and when though. A reason my dad noticed early on and I think why he paired us together. Jake is still there standing looking between me and my sister arms folded. An amused grin on his face that puts me at a crossroads of wanting to smack him for being smug about knowing my horse like I do or jumping him again.
“You wanna try it then?” I can’t help but ask her watching her glare at me.
“Hell no.”
I bite my lips for a moment as my mother approaches us her cell phone gripped in her hand I can tell that Emma has agreed to let Doc Evans take Titan for an x-ray.
“We’re going to send Titan in for an x-ray Emma won’t be back from the trip with her parents till next week. I have her a list of the horses she could ride as an alternate. She wants to ride London. I let her know we can put London in training next week right now she’s a liability and we can’t let Emma on her yet. I’ll put Natalie on her this week-”
“No.” I say cutting her off I normally don’t cut my mother off. I don’t disrespect her like that ever if at all but what she is saying is insane. My sister ridding London would be a bad idea, London would toss her. I look at London and then look back at my mom. “I’ll do it.”
My mother’s eyes get wide and she casts a glance at my sister and I swear they pass a secret look between them almost as if this was some sort of plan all along. Get me back on one London for the sake of getting me to enjoy ridding again. Which I know is insane you cannot predict how a horse will land in show. Jake is still amused at it his eyes travel over London before they settle on me, burning a whole into me again. He’s got to quit looking at me like that or I’m not even going to be able to concentrate on riding.
I hear a stall door open and see Hank and Doc Evans slowly walking Titan out. My mother nods her head before she makes her way back to them. My sister is still grinning at me as she pulls her baseball cap down a bit over her eyes and walks away leaving me, Jake and London alone. I watch him unfold his arms before he places them on his hips and leans in his lips inches from my lips.
“Yes?” I ask him not sure why he has been staring at me the last few minutes like he has. Wondering if he thinks I’m insane or not.
“Something about you in those tight riding pants. Brings back good memories maybe this time we can make new ones.” His voice is low when he says it, his right hand coming to my bare arm to trace it for a moment and I am pretty sure heat floods my cheeks. He doesn’t kiss me though instead he leans into my ear. “You’ll learn to trust me again Vanessa just like London is going to have to learn to trust you.”
My heart is beating wildly in my chest as he says it and I lean my head just slightly to kiss him to do something only for London to kick the damn stall door causing me to jump out of my skin. Jake steadies me in his arms and my sister peaks her head down at us.
“Mom wants to know if Jake is staying for lunch.”
I move to open my mouth to object to the invitation before Jake puts his hand on my lower back, grinning from ear to ear.
“Seeing how we skipped breakfast Nat tell your mom I’ll take her up on it.”
My sister looks between us before she disappears in the barn again and I look at him mortified. My sister probably thinks the entire reason we were late is because I was with Jake jumping his bones.
“You realize she is going to think and probably tell my mother that we were-“ I stammer I still can’t believe he is getting so smug about this.
His fingers got to my lip brushing his thumb over it with a grin. “Technically had we not had a screaming match this morning we would have on my kitchen counter. We’ll get there eventually again. At the moment however I am starving.”
He releases me before stepping away and walking towards the barn and I stare at him. My heart still hammering my chest, my cheeks probably flushed from embarrassment, lust and a million other things.
I want to object to his claims but I can’t even find the words to scream. London leans over the stall and snorts right near my ear as if she is in agreement with me about all of it. Even my horse knows I’m still crazy about Jake and I realize I’m royally fucked with excuses at this point to not at least try again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Jake
SITTING INSIDE MY office a few days later I should be focusing on this new project that we have coming up a mall deal upstate but my mind is on Vanessa. She is ridding this afternoon and I look at the clock it’s only a little after nine and I don’t know why I am so anxious to leave. We haven’t spent the night together again I don’t and I won’t push her on that but we have been calling and texting. One could say that we are dating again, cautiously for both of us. There are few things that give me joy now days that fill me with a sense of completeness. Those would be watching Vanessa when I make love to her and watching her ride the fuck out of a horse on a course. I’ve already got one of the two back, I don’t see why I can’t have the other.
My sister was a great jumper don’t get me wrong, she loved to ride but Vanessa is and was always better. My sister rode to escape my parents, her way to unwind and relax. Her real love was photography, horses for her was her fun activity that she loved to do with her friends. Vanessa rides because it’s in her veins, it’s what shew as born to do. I look at my phone when it buzzes with a text from Paige saying that she’s going to go out and watch Vanessa’s first practice. I can feel a smile form on my lips and I do have to wonder if Hank will be there too coaching her. Hank was never her full time coach that was Garrett they had a mutual understanding on her riding style. If Paige there though she could help more than Hank as well.
I look at the contract for the mall on my desk telling my brain to focus in on it. I don’t mind running a business or contracts I’m good at it. However, this was never what I envisioned my life to be like back in school the goal was always step out on my own with my own business while Vanessa rode and trained. Eventually she wanted to take over with her dad. It is funny how life works out. How fate throws you off course to then slam you back on in. That is the only explanation I can come up with to the last few months that has happened since Garrett passed away. Fate, there is no other way to put it. I hear my office phone ring and my secretly Olivia speaks.
“Jake your father wants to see you, he says it is urgent.” Her voice breaks me out of thoughts on my past and I hit the intercom.
“Tell him I’ll be inside in a few minutes.”
I sit at my desk willing the tension to leave my body I don’t want to face him, see him or speak to him. No doubt this is going to be about the contract in my hand and about the Harvell land. I also wouldn’t put it past him to know about Vanessa. He knows everything and associate or an acquaintance could have seen us as McGill’s the other night. Rising from my desk I tighten my tie before stepping outside smiling at Olivia before I walk down the hallway to my father’s office.
I stop outside the door and look at the sign Allan Donovan CEO. In a few years if I stay it will be my name on the door, again if I stay. I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last few days if this is even what I want to be doing anymore. Opening the door I see him sitting behind his desk, leaning back in the oversized leather.
“Do you have the mall contracts ready? We are supposed to get them the proposal by the end of the week. I also spoke with our legal department and they have not got back the contract from the Harvell land.” His tone is clipped when he asks and my back stiffens.
I watch him get up from his chair and go to the miniature display that our architects have drawn up. Or as my sister liked to call it ‘His world where he was God’ on it I see the ranch perfectly mapped out on the grid. Instead of the pastures and the spread, the barn and ridding ring. There is tall condos flanking it, where the farmhouse stands now is a common park that he of course has placed my sister’s name on. I order my breathing to be controlled so I don’t fucking snap and destroy the fucking thing. My sister would roll over if she knew what he wanted to fucking do to the land to Vanessa’s family. She also sure as hell wouldn’t want a stupid fucking park named after her.
“I was quite disappointed to hear that you were out with her at McGill’s the other night. Then again the more I have been thinking about it maybe that isn’t a bad thing. Fuck her a few times get her used to the idea that there may be something still between you. Get her to have her mother sign those papers.”
I am pretty sure by that point I am clenching my fist at my side and when he looks at me I see the look of disappointment pass his face. I don’t even care at that point. Walking to the wet bar he pours himself a glass of bourbon on the rocks a way to taunt me.
“Must it always come down to her Jacob? The woman that killed your sister? Must you always still hold onto her? She isn’t suited for you, we both know that. She never has been.” He sneers when he says it before taking a sip of his bourbon.
“I don’t really see how my fucking personal life is any of your business. That was our agreement I work for you. You don’t get to tell me who to fuck or where or don’t you remember that?” I make sure my voice is dead even with him I won’t play this game with him.
He lets out a chuckle as he goes back to his table the miniature display on hand. His fingers tracing the condo lines. His eyes land on my sisters name and I see the mixture of sadness, anger and grief in his eyes. He’s never let go of that night, I don’t know if he ever will at this rate. He keeps blaming Vanessa, I get that but at some point he has to stop before it consumes him to the point that he can’t come back from it. I venture to even guess that he won’t come back from it.
“It becomes my business when it is her. I had hoped that you would come to your senses Jessica has been patient with you for years.” My father says as his eyes burn into mine. He raises the tumbler to his lips again taking a sip before he speaks. “I got a call from your mother the other day.”
My anger subsides just a hair at the mention of my mother. Her leaving was another bleak point in my life the last few years. In some ways I still blame her partly for where I am now. My interest is peaked when he says that he got a phone call from my mother they don’t speak anymore unless it is about money. Money my father is still paying her from their divorce despite the fact she remarried last year.
“She informed me that she unpacked some of your sisters’ boxes the other day and came across some of her journals. While she was at a horse show recently she ran into Vanessa there. Now imagine my outrage when she told me she had the nerve to give your sisters’ things to her.” He doesn’t bother to hide his anger at my mother when he speaks about her actions. Anger that I am not sure is justified he was the one that gave my sisters’ things to her when they divorced.
No one has touched Hannah’s things since that night it took my mom years to pack up her room into boxes, boxes that went with her when my parents divorced. I don’t know what to feel when he says that Vanessa has something of hers. He is angry about it and maybe I should be but I can’t be. That is the difference between my father and I. I can’t hate her anymore, it was killing me from the inside out. Putting out any light that had been there and I don’t want to be him.
“She then of course had to go on about forgiveness and ask about her next check. When she asked about you I informed her that you still have no desire to speak with her. I told her to contact the lawyers about the check.”
“I’m sure she has her reasons.” My voice is even when I speak which surprises me given the amount of anger I still feel at him.
My eyes go back to the small figurines before us my mind goes to my desk where the contract is safely inside. He can’t touch the land yet, he can’t destroy her life. His words about my mother linger. I don’t know if I would actually speak to her or not when and if she called.
“I am sure she did, just like when she left.” He says gruffly picking up another building and laying it over another pa
rt of land. I am pretty sure that land belongs to the Harvell neighbors, down the road I see Austin’s land is left untouched and I should be grateful for that. My father was not happy when Austin’s family remained friends with the Harvell’s.
“I expect the contract for the Harvell land by the end of the month on my desk. I’ll give you time to get this thing with her out of your system. Should I not have it on my desk I will have no other option but to go to the lawyers and approach them myself. I believe that I have been more than lenient.”
I don’t say anything back to him during his speech as his words settle into my stomach twisting and turning. He still feels like he is the jury and judge when it comes to Vanessa. That he has a right to do what he sees fit where she is concerned. I restrain myself from rolling my eyes at him or worse as he places a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t disappoint me this time.”
“I didn’t realize I have been disappointing you.”
“You have since you brought her into our lives. You and your sister. I warned you about her years ago.”
Pulling back from him I watch him closely examine the model again, watch him put the glass to his lips and take a drink. There are days I wish it was him that died that night instead of Hannah and I know that is wrong, I know it is despicable. He has never been a great father to me, he has always cared more about money, more about the family business. I don’t know why I stayed and worked for him over the years perhaps it was a way for me to try and win his affection. Something Hannah always warned me about growing up, even before that night happened. He was hardly around growing up, he and my mother far more concerned with running the company, fitting in with their rich friends. They left us to be raised by housekeepers or nannies.