Lost and Found (The West Lake Series Book 1)

by Venice Kelly

  “You’re a fucking asshole.” She is still wiping her eyes when she says it opening up the sliding glass door on the deck and going back inside.

  I stand there feet planted and rooted to the ground as I take another sip of my beer, it’s for the best. I watch her through the window gathering her purse and her phone my sister scowling at me through the glass. Jessica is on the beach smiling up at me from the bonfire like we shared something other than a drunken kiss. My stomach churns in knots and I don’t know why, as I hear the front door to the cabin open. I look back through the glass and they both are gone.

  My feet landing on the concrete floor pulls me back to the reality of now, the situation of now. I was the one that let her leave that night, all it would have taken is one word, stay. Instead I was a coward that let her walk back into the house thinking that I didn’t give a shit about her or us anymore. I was the one that let her get behind the wheel with my sister. Had she of stayed they would have never went for a drive to clear her head, Hannah would be here and our lives would be vastly different.

  “You want my advice?” Shane’s voice filters back through my head as he looks at me.

  I am not sure I should be taking advice from him, his return has prompted random hookups and hooking back up with Paige. Even if the two of them constantly denying it to themselves and us. We all know that he doesn’t just crash on her couch when he’s had too much to drink at the bar.

  “You are planning on giving me advice? The guy that can’t even admit to himself he is not over Paige and don’t give me that shit about you are both just friends.” I ask as I unclip the rope from my belt and look between him and Austin.

  “You should quit waiting. Tell her what you and Garrett came up with. Tell her how you feel about that night, about all of it. Let the pieces fall where they may from there.” His voice is sad when he says it almost as if he is speaking from personal experience. “The just friends excuse seems to have worked out well for you so far.”

  I stare at the both of them for a small moment before a small fit of laughter erupts and Austin pats his hand on my shoulder. “How is that head now?”

  “I think for the first time in years it’s finally sorting itself out.” I say walking with them both to drop off the gear and then head into the showers.

  “Good I’m tired of kicking your ass about it.” He finishes opening the door to the locker room.

  I catch the door with my fingers waiting for them both to enter and then let it swing close behind them. Taking my phone out I stare at Vanessa’s number before typing in a text to her.

  I’m sorry about the other day at the arena let me make it up to you?

  I wait with a baited breath for a moment seeing the three dots appear as I wait on her reply.

  What did you have in mind? Beer and line dancing?

  I pause for a moment, she deserves better than some stale beer and line dancing. Moving my fingers over the keys I type out a reply.

  Get a nice dress let me take you somewhere nice. I even promise to be on my best behavior afterwards.

  I am about to head back inside when my phone buzzes again and my lips curl at the message.

  I kinda like the worst behavior. I’m sorry I was weird afterwards. Pick me up on Saturday seven and don’t be late.

  There are things you should definitely let go of women like Jessica are one of them. There are other things like Vanessa Harvell you should defiantly not let go of. I don’t plan to, not this time.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Vanessa

  GETTING UP THAT morning I helped my sister out in the barn and around the farm making sure everything was ready for Emma’s show that weekend. So far there has been nothing major with her riding London though it took them a day or two get used to each other. We’ve been training them both hand and while London comes down over the rails on the slice I hold my breath hoping Emma is positioned. When they both land safely I grin at my sister and Hank who both clap at the thrill of it. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about ridding or coaching but I seem to have a natural ability for it as Emma approaches us with London. I watch her pull back on the reins as she smiles at us.

  “So how was that?”

  “Perfect Emma, you let her do what she was supposed to, which is exactly what you have to do this weekend.” I say reaching my hand out to London who eagerly rubs her nose against my hand.

  “Should I do it again?” She asks me and I look at the time realizing I need to shower and get ready for my date with Jake.

  “I got this. You sister need to go get ready.” Natalie says nudging me in my side as Emma looks at me with a smile.

  “Are you and Mr. Donovan going out? I saw him the other day, he’s hot.” She says.

  “We’re going to dinner.” I say flatly, trying my best to not let my nerves about the entire ordeal get the best of me.

  “So you are a thing?” Emma presses, my sisters eyes twinkle at her while she dismounts London for the end of the lesson and to cool her down.

  Looking at my watch again and the time I take a step back. “Dinner, I have to go get ready or I’m going to be really late.”

  I don’t give them a chance to respond as I turn around and start to make my way back towards the house. Dinner feels so formal compared to us going out at McGill’s to hang out with Paige, Austin and Shane. In honesty, I’ve liked that part the intimate distance between us. It helps me not think about wanting him back in bed again.

  I am not sure if she is teasing me or not the girl is still in high school but I am not an idiot Jake in jeans or a five piece suit is hot. I do know I bite my bottom lip thinking about it, we haven’t made love since that night at his condo and my freak out about it. Something Paige has reminded me numerous times was just nerves and I know she is right. Everything just happened and in true fashion I got scared, scared of what we could be again, about how easy it all was. Not that I regret it now I don’t. It just has made things awkward with us in that department and maybe tonight will change that for us. I feel like I am ready to take back that part of my relationship with him.

  I want to cringe at the words Mr. Donovan it sounds so formal and makes me think of Alan in a few years he will be Mr. Donovan though. I have tried to not think about that if he is actually going to take over work at his father’s company or not, it is something we should talk about though. His parents never approved of our relationship in the past and now that we have decided to move forward with whatever we are doing now I doubt his father’s mind has changed. His mother though was encouraging and even though I know their divorce wasn’t my fault I sometimes can’t help but wonder if things would be different. If the accident would have never happened would they have made it? Would Hannah have been what mended their obviously broken marriage to the point that she would have stayed?

  I go up the stairs to my room once I reach the house and once there I look at the photo journal on my old desk that Karen gave me a few weeks ago. I haven’t given it to Jake yet I’ve been looking through it remembering the good times it had. The happier times we had together and Hannah’s notes throughout. Notes about life and relationships, about home, her and Austin. Notes about me and Jake. I for some reason can’t find it in me to give to him. I don’t want to dredge up the past between us again even if we are on semi-solid ground now, or as solid as can be expected given the circumstances. I let out a sigh as my hand traces the cover before stripping out of my work clothes and going to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

  An hour later and I look at myself in the mirror the simple linen tank pink accented cream dress is perfect for spring and just classy enough to wear to wherever Jake has decided to take us for dinner. Pairing it with some excellent sandals I look at myself in the mirror before I hear the doorbell ring. Walking down the stairs my eyes meet his, he’s wearing a gorgeous five piece suit. Natalie looks between us for a moment before handing me my purse and shoving me playfully to the door as she walks back into the kitchen. Jake ha
s a smile tugging at his lips.

  “Hi you look beautiful.” His voice is low when he says it, husky even and I am pretty sure I feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

  “Thanks.” I say moving some hair behind my ear while I lead us out of the house and onto the porch. His left hand goes to my lower back and I can’t help the smile. “I’m sorry I was so weird the other night.”

  I hear him take a breath as we walk to his truck and he stops me once we reach it, I’m embarrassed at the entire thing after we made love. I can keep denying it to myself that it wasn’t that but I know it was. My feelings were everywhere in that moment, lifting my chin up as he opens the door he presses his lips to mine gently before pulling back.

  “Its fine we were both getting used to each other again. I don’t regret it and I know you don’t either ok?” He says quietly. I nod my head at him relief flooding over me. I can tell that he is still waiting for something from me when he presses me again. “I mean it no regrets about it.”

  “No regrets.” I agree as he helps me into the truck and goes around to his side. I wait for him to settle behind the steering wheel as I look over at him. “So where are you taking me?”

  “Hopefully somewhere that you’ll appreciate, somewhere quiet where we can talk.” Jake says pulling the truck into drive and starting out of my driveway.

  I focus in on the road as he goes away from town, I am not sure why he had me dress up if we aren’t going to some fancy restaurant. As we reach the outskirts of town though I feel my body stiffen as he makes the turn off to the lake. I force myself to remain calm and have my breathing even out the anxiety I feel not sure if he is taking me to the lake or not. His hand reaches over for mine as we pass the lake and I close my eyes to not see the marker that is there. My stomach settles as I know where he is taking me as we continue on the drive the cabin. A place that used to be special for us, before that night. Before everything went to shit for us in a matter of a few hours and part of me is angry he is doing this. The other part wants to know why he is.

  He puts the truck into park and looks over at me bringing my hand to his lips before he kisses it and reaches in the back seat for a bag for him and then I notice a bag for me too. I narrow my eyes at him and then look at my phone that buzzes with a text from my sister.

  Mom says to take tomorrow off you and Jake should talk and spend some time together. I hope what I packed is alright.

  I glare at the text and the intrusion on my life I agreed to dinner with him not to be taken here, to be reminded of everything that happened here. He comes around to my door and opens it extending his hand and I stubbornly sit in the seat my anger fuming at my sister and my mother.

  “Don’t be mad I made them do it.” He says softly and I can tell he knows this hurts me this memory aches at me in ways he can imagine or maybe he does and that is why I am so mad. “Come inside. I want to talk to you here. Make things right with you here. I promise after dinner if you still want to leave I’ll take you home you have my word.”

  I nearly scoff at the idea of having dinner with him in the cabin and I have no idea why my legs are moving out of the car and into his arms. Together we walk in silence up the cabin as he opens the door.

  ***

  It still looks like it did all those years ago the upscale leather furniture in the living room, the massive fireplace. Looking at the entry way it’s still up kept. My mind wanders to how many other women he’s brought here over the years and as he walks into the kitchen after setting out bags down by the door his eyes met mine.

  “Don’t even think it. I’ve only ever took one woman here, you.” He says his voice is even holding truth in it and I nod my head at him.

  He pulls out a tray from the oven and then a beautiful fresh salmon from the fridge as he turns on the oven. I hear my stomach growl and realize I am starved as he then gets out a Greek salad as well. I know the man can barely cook and I look at him leaning on the island.

  “So did you con my mother into this part too? Or was it someone at your parents estate we both know you live on take out always have.” I tease trying to break the ice as he grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge. It’s expensive from the label and a Chardonnay.

  “Nope your mother and sister were only involved in the packing of your clothes this was courtesy of Paige. I should mention too that Natalie may or may not have called your friend Charlotte.”

  “Wait they called Charlotte?” I asks looking at him and trying to not glare.

  “Natalie did and not for the reasons you think. I asked her too I wanted to know your favorite dish and she mentioned the seafood in LA and something about this Greek salad. Paige helped me prepare it. I meant it I want to do this right. I’m sorry if I invaded something I shouldn’t have-” His voice trails off and I sense the hurt in them at my doubting that he has ulterior motives where tonight was concerned.

  I like order in my life I have since the accident it makes me feels safe and secure something that he has always been known to throw me off kilter. He has always tested my limits pushed me when I needed it.

  “It’s not that Jake. I’m sorry. I’m just surprised that’s all. It’s beautiful and sweet thank you.” I say reaching for his hand and taking it in mine, reassuring him.

  He takes the gesture and nods his head at me before turning around and grabbing some glasses. I break the contact and the moment to wander into the living room. My eyes are still scanning everything, all the furniture and places that hold all the memories. The summers we would spend here just us sometimes we would be here as a group but most of the time it was just me and Jake. The cabin was in his name, his parents gave it to him that summer he graduated so I know he owns it. It’s always been our spot looking at the fireplace, he walks up behind me turning it on. My eyes look at the flames this is the spot we first made love in front of it and I look down at the rug heat flooding my cheeks.

  “You kept the rug.”

  “Of course I did, it holds a special place here for me. You hungry?” He asks quietly and I nod my head at him, as he hands me a glass.

  “Yes, starving.” I say looking at him while I take the glass the silence is interrupted by my stomach growling again and he smiles.

  “Well I should feed you then shouldn’t I? Wouldn’t want you to tire out later now would I?” He says a hint of teasing in his voice while his eyes pin me in place.

  He steps towards me and his free hand traces my bare shoulder. His head leans into my ear. I bite my lower lip with him understanding his meaning all too well. He wants me again like the other night and I want him too. Before that though we should talk and I remind myself that he wants to do that tonight. More that is what we need to do talk, no doubt he wants to drudge up the past and as much as that might hurt. I need some answers to that night and what happened after the accident from him. I don’t know what he needs from me about it but I can tell it is a mix of hearing him out and wanting me back in his bed.

  “You should. Food always helps.” I say coyly bringing the chardonnay to my lips and taking a drink. Letting the hints of peaches and lemon it my taste buds.

  He does the same looking at me like he could take the glass out of my hands. Hike my dress then and there only he doesn’t. Instead he takes a few steps back loosens his tie and goes back to the kitchen. I hear the timer on the oven go off and I look at my bag at the doorway. As much as I hate the invasion of privacy even I have to admit I want him to hike my skirt and make love to me. I don’t want to let him go again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Jake

  IT TOOK EVERY ounce of human control I had to walk away from her gazing at me over that glass. She’s always had this uncanny ability to drive me insane with her wit and charm, not to mention sarcasm. As much as it kills me to do it I head back into the kitchen reminding myself that tonight we have to clear the air between us about that night. I won’t tell her about the contract or the sale of the farm just yet. I don’t want to pile too much on her. I already
know talking about that night and the way I acted will be hard for us and I don’t want to drive her further away. Walking back to the oven as it beeps again for the final time I take the fish out of the oven and watch her on the deck looking out at the mountains, the sun setting. This is how life should have been for us before everything got so fucked up between us and I remember why I owe her this. I was the one that foolishly let her go that night, I was the one that pushed her away and I am the reason she got in the car with my sister.

  I walk out to the deck dishes in hand it’s nice out not too cold or too hot and we can enjoy the breeze with dinner. She is still looking out at the skyline, her eyes twinkling just a little before she turns her attention back to me. I don’t know what she is thinking and I sometimes wonder if I want to know if all of this is too much for her again. If it is she gives no indication before she smiles at me and waits for me to sit down, her eyes looking at the fish and the salad.

  “I’m starving.” Her voice for the first time feels lighter like a weight has been lifted within her.

  I offer her a warm smile as she picks up her fork, “Me too.”

  Some women pick at their food when they eat which annoys the snot out of me she however dives in taking a piece of the fish on the fork and taking the first bite. She closes her eyes and a smile spreads on her face, inside I let out a breath I am holding. Now granted even Paige said I couldn’t fuck up fish to put in the oven but I did worry about it. She reaches her fork back down for a second bite.