by Venice Kelly
I listen trying to take everything in that he is telling me and I get it. I pushed him away when I came back. I’m not sure how much of his story that I should trust but I know my mother and my sister they would not of told him where I was unless they believed it. Charlotte as crazy as she is sometimes would never be in on it unless she thought that too. I can’t deny what I’ve always felt for him even now when he is looking at me, waiting for me to make the next move between us.
“Jessica?” I finally manage to ask looking at him wanting him to explain that part to me. How he could do that to me even back then.
“I slept with her I fucked her but she’s never been you. I should have asked for my key back awhile ago. I never loved her Vanessa.”
“Hmm and me?”
“Do you want me to spell it out for you? I did just fly out across three states for you.”
I stare at him for a moment he looks irritated with me, irritated in a good way not a bad way and I cock my head to the side at him. Stepping closer to him I lean up to him, feeling his hands settle on my hips. I do believe him and maybe I need to hear it first because I’m not sure I have the willpower to actually say it. Saying it makes everything between us real again, very real and I’m not sure what else can go wrong at this point.
“Maybe.” It’s a simple answer and I look into his eyes when I say it before lean in to kiss his lips and pull back his hand in mine as I lead him to the tents to join in the festivities.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Jake
VANESSA HARVELL HAS drove me fucking crazy since we were teenagers and she’s doing it right now too at the wedding for her old roommate’s sister. She’s dancing on the huge dance floor laughing, I missed that about her and her words weigh heavy on me. I love her. I’ve always loved her. I’ll probably die loving her. She wants me to say it first it’s a nice change of pace for us she said it first years ago to me. Looking at her bright and cheery face though dancing I have to remind myself I can’t screw it up this time. Glancing down at my pants and the stiffening of my body I rub my hand over my face. I don’t want to go back to my hotel room alone tonight. Bringing my glass of champagne to my lips instead I let the amber liquid run down my throat and glance over at as Charlotte joins me.
“Are you having a good time?” Charlotte asks and I find a smile tugging on my lips as I nod at her.
“Good now that you are here though you and I need to lay some ground rules. The only reason I told you about this was because Vanessa runs and I know she’s crazy about you. I don’t care what in the hell happened in the past, ok strike that I do care. What I care more about is my best friend and her happiness. Don’t you dare fuck her over again or you will have me to answer too.” Her eyes narrow at me as she takes a drink from her own glass.
I understand that meaning all too well and I can see why she and Vanessa are friends, she reminds me a lot of Hannah. Hannah would kick my ass when needed when it came to Vanessa or my feelings, she didn’t take anyones shit and stood up for the people she cared about. The music ends and I watch as Vanessa goes to talk to the bride and groom, my eyes fixated on her.
“Understood or do I need to repeat myself?”
Charlotte’s persistent voice breaks my gaze from Vanessa, as I nod my head at her.
“Understood. Are you planning on taking her back to your place tonight?” I ask not even sure why I am asking her former roommate to take her back to my hotel room.
“Are you asking me for permission?” Her eyes light up a bit and a hit of laughter is in her voice and I shrug. “So noble but I think Vanessa can make her own decisions about whether or not she wants to venture back to your hotel with you or not. From the way she talks about you and how she is looking at you right now I think we can safely assume she won’t be going home with me.”
“I’m glad Vanessa had you when she was out here in LA.”
“I imagined you’d be a little taller.”
“Did you?” I ask my interest peaked a bit at Charlotte.
I still didn’t know a lot about Vanessa’s life here in LA or the friends she made or the life she started. What I did know was that Charlotte had been a huge part of that adventure and that chapter in her life. I can see that Charlotte bears a resemblance to my sister with her auburn hair though she doesn’t have freckles. I glance up as I see Vanessa making her way to the table we are at and I feel my lips curve up in a smile.
“I did you were quite the myth for a while there. Her first love, the guy that broke her heart.” She pauses for a moment almost as if she is contemplating letting me have an earful before she continues. “I told her I got that part you know? The cheating on her with Jessica back then, the anger you felt. It makes people do crazy things loss and grief. I think in time she understood that too.”
I don’t even know what to say back to her as she effectively has put me in my place with Jessica and what started my downward personal spiral. I did it to hurt Vanessa nothing more and looking back that officially makes me the biggest asshole on the planet. I look at her for a moment wanting to say something only she cuts me off again.
“Don’t even get me started on the letter.”
“You know all of that huh?” I finally say, Charlotte gives me a nod of approval as Vanessa finally reaches us.
“Are you two getting in trouble or causing it?” She asks looking between us.
I hear Charlotte laugh before she rises from her seat and grins at her.
“I am not the one in trouble that would be you tonight. Don’t wake me up when you come sauntering back in tomorrow I have enjoyed sleeping in lately.”
I watch Vanessa’s face flush a shade of crimson that I am not sure comes from the fact Charlotte knows what I want to do with her or if she doesn’t want me to take her to bed. Her face softens a bit as she smiles as her friend walks away. I see her lips curve upwards, my lungs exhale a breath I didn’t realize that I’ve been holding in.
“Was Charlotte hard on you?” She asks her eyes meeting mine and the light catches them just slightly enough.
“We cleared things up. I can take you back to your old place if you want.” I bite the words out. I don’t want to be alone tonight I don’t want to let her go back there tonight. I want her to make her own choices on it and I don’t want to frighten her away again. The last time we did take that step a few weeks ago put a rift between us. “I won’t pressure you.”
She smiles at me before taking my hand and leading me out of the tents. Once we settle in the back of the cab and I give them directions to my hotel. She leans on my shoulder her hand still in mine and rests her head against my shoulder. Closing my eyes I lean my head back on the headrest. When the cab stops and we reach the hotel she keeps her hand in my mine as we head to the elevator. Once the doors close behind us, she leans up and brushes her mouth against mine. I press her gently against the steel wall, let my hips slide down to her hips and break my mouth from hers. Her lips are flushed and full, glancing at the white light on the elevator doors as it climbs to our floor. We both stand there for a moment breathing and I feel her hands clutching the back of my hair.
“Are you sure about this?” I ask her.
“Jake for once in your life just quit asking.” Her voice is quiet when she says the words against my lips and the elevator opens.
My hand doesn’t leave hers as we walk down the dim lit hallway of the hotel to my suite. I fumble with the key for a moment, her lips curing in a smile eventually putting the key car in and pulling it out. The door opens and I pull her close to me, my hands sliding to her waist, my lips eagerly seeking hers. Her hands fumble with the buttons on my shirt getting them open. Her fingers lightly graze my chest and my fingers tug her mouth closer, only then does she freeze. My fingertip traces a scar on her neckline, I can sense her panic at the action when my lips part from hers. I hold her steady for a moment looking at her and when she tries to break her eyes from mine I don’t say anything more to her before I capture her lips once a
gain.
Gently walking her to the bedroom. I stop with her near the foot of the bed and my hand goes to the zipper on her dress. Thinking back to our last time in bed together it was fast, much faster than I ever imagined and this time I want to take my time with her. I need to take my time with her. I undo the zipper watching the silk fall to the floor and take in her raw beauty. Her hands reach for my belt buckle and it takes my entire will power to not let them fall and roughly be with her. Instead she slides everything the pants and my boxers to the floor. It’s quiet in the room no music, no noise just us. Her hand then goes to her back and I watch as her bra goes to the floor. I watch her hand slide down her legs as she takes off her panties. Taking a breath and knowing that I don’t and can’t wait any longer I pull her to me. My mouth melting into hers while I lay her down on the bed. I break a apart from her to reach for my wallet and the condom there only her hand grabs my own.
“No.” Her voice is quiet and pleading and I’m not sure why she has stopped me and I only pray it’s not her regretting this. Before I can ask though she continues. “I have an IUD and I don’t want anything between us.”
I have no words for her I’ve only ever been with her that way. I’ve bedded a lot of women she was the only one though that I’ve ever been completely naked with. I don’t want to know if she was with Brian and it’s none of my business. I don’t know if there was that layer of trust between them or not or if she ever felt the need to expose herself like that. I don’t even realize that I am lost in those thoughts when she speaks again breaking me out of my haze and my thoughts.
“I’ve only been that way with you.”
I don’t need anymore encouragement as my lips meet hers again while my hand grips hers. I feel her legs part and rubbing against her where she is already soaked I ease inside of her. I hear her breath catch and I close my eyes wanting to savor this moment between us. I let her body adjust against mine before I pull out of her and slide back in. Her free hand scratches on my back and I look at her eyes. She watches mine as I watch hers and in that moment this is where I know I belong. Where I have always belonged. Every stroke I make my breathing slows until the moment her eyes glaze over, roll into her head and I explode feeling her body give into mine. Afterward I lay there quietly with her, her fingers tracing my back, her breathing calms and I gently roll off her to stare at the ceiling.
We don’t say anything else to each other in that moment instead she curls next to me and my arm wraps around her. Moments later I feel her breath on my chest, the soft hum of her heartbeat on my arm and know that when we return home life as I know it will stop. Life has to stop as I know it with my father, it is the only way for me to be happy for us to be happy. I missed this with her lying in bed holding her in my arms, feeling her skin on mine and I have no intention of letting that go this time. Even if it means cutting ties with my father, the man that raised me, whose blood flows in my veins. Vanessa Harvell hss always been worth that risk.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Vanessa
SITTING INSIDE THE rundown empty building with Paige two weeks later from LA I look at the cobwebs in the abandoned bakery. My friends eyes are bright as she inspects every corner and my mind is whirling about today. Jake went to go see his father, we’ve talked since I came home. We’re back to a good place but today worries me. The fact that the land sale will go through and Jake has arranged for his father to never touch it worries me. He is giving up his money, his lively hood for me, for us and that is a tall order that I never expected him to make. I’m not sure I want him to lose that part of himself even if he says it has been a long time coming. I see Shane walk in the door and watch him as his gaze meets Paige who is still going over everything with the inspector.
“Hey Vanessa.” He says, his hands going to the loops on his jeans.
“Shane.” I say a smile tugging at my lips with him.
Everyone in our circle knows that he is still madly in love with Paige but they’re still figuring out what they are if anything. I still don’t know the full story behind their breakup but he still shows up when Paige needs him. They still are in each others lives and when Paige approaches us with a slight frown on her face from the inspector, before the inspector. I see Shane’s body change protective is the only way to describe it just friends my ass.
“There is a lot that has to be done. It’s not even up to code and with the money I have and Jake’s investment I am not sure how to cover the cost of repairs.” Paige says taking the list and shaking her head.
“Jake would cover the cost of the repairs.”
The words leave my mouth before I even have time to think them through or out. Even though he is giving up his job with his father his trust fund is enough for him to live off of comfortably for a few years. It’s something that we’ve agreed on, he wants to place the money back into the farm and helping Paige out. I see her face change at the suggestion neither excited or happy.
“I couldn’t ask him to do that. You guys have a lot on your plate with the farm and finals coming up with Emma.” Paige defends almost as if she is deflecting and trying to get out of having Jake help her.
“Emma is doing fine and right now with Jake’s investment things will be stable at the farm he has the money he would help you. He is the one that decided to invest in the bakery that you want. Now granted I think you can do better than this building wise but he’d still help you.”
Shane is oddly quiet in the room going to look at the back room for a bit and then Paige looks at me and then back down at the paper. She is mulling something I can tell with her she is too quiet and giving me that look.
“I want you and Jake to focus on you and Jake. You guys deserve at least that you know.”
Her words surprise me. Jake is a good friend to her I’m a good friend to her and helping her out wouldn’t be something that would strain our relationship. Granted it’s still not perfect but we’re working on it. Right now the biggest thing in the way is not knowing what his father is going to do when he quits how far Allan will go to hurt Jake back. Which could mean anything tying up the trust fund, coming after business deals Jake has done. He would also go after me.
“Jake can handle it. He’s meeting with his father today.” I haven’t really told anyone about that yet. It feels nice to say it out loud to Paige though, to tell her Jake is going to take that step.
“I’m honestly happy to hear that we all know that was something he never wanted to do get stuck under his father’s thumb for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t of even stayed there after college if it wasn’t for the accident.” Paige says, her words are frank and too the point they also come with an unsettled feeling that sets in.
I’m still working through being back home. I’m still adjusting to Jake and I deciding in LA that we wanted to give this a shot. Her words however bring reality back I doubt any of us will ever forget that night or what happened. If Hannah was alive Jake and I would have never broken up or at least I don’t think we would have. Even though I now know he was trying to push me away I would have fought for him then, I would have fought for him if I never got behind the wheel. If that night never would have happened Jake would have never went to work full time for his dad. I’m still lost in my own thoughts when Paige’s voice breaks through snapping me back to the present.
“I didn’t mean it like that shit Vanessa.” Her tone is apologetic and Shane finally joins us a grimace on his face as he looks between us.
“You are not setting up shop here. It is going to take a lot of work and I’m pretty sure I see a ton of fire-code violations lying around. You would think for all the money that Jacob Donovan has he would or could invest in a nicer place to help you out.” Shane says looking between us shaking his head at the building Paige has picked out.
Have I mentioned being around them is awkward? They were inseparable before the accident, happy even though they were trying the long distance thing. Which I know from Paige was a strain on them both at
the time. I don’t know if it led to their breakup I was unfortunately not here for that part but the way they look at each other now is just awkward. It’s almost like a dance between them a tango and I see Paige staring him down.
“I picked this place out because it’s an amazing price for the square footage and I know it will take a lot of work. I don’t mind a lot of work but I need to do this for me.” Paige says tilting her head up just slightly at Shane.
“Paige have you seen the back room?” Shane replies and I swear he wants to shake his head at our mutually stubborn friend.
“I have.”
“Then you know the work involved that is going to take?”
“I do and you know what that is why I have you, Jake and Austin to do the heavy lifting for me.” Paige says looking between us and I swear I see Shane’s lips curve up in a grin.
Like I said being around them now is awkward. I wait for Paige’s witty reply before her phone rings and she hold up a finger before placing the phone and her ear. She mouths the word dad to us before wandering towards the back room that Shane was talking about. Once she is out of earshot Shane crosses his arms and looks at me dead serious.
“Talk her out of this dump. I don’t care what the price is or what Jake says it’s a death trap. Plus if you don’t I don’t want to pull the friend card on his ass and tell him to look somewhere else for her.”