by MJ Summers
She set Tomas’s pants on a kitchen chair and poured a bowl of cereal. “Rapinzho, your bedtime snack is ready. Come and eat.”
“Just think it over, okay babe? It could be the opportunity of a lifetime.”
“Alright, I’ll think about it for sure.” She caught Tomas just as he reached the table, giving him a stern look as she held his pants close to the floor for him to step into. “I’m going to put Tomas on the phone. He wants to say good night to you.”
* * *
“So, this is the standard agreement. You’ll find all the agents pretty much use the same one.” Hank handed Trey a thin set of papers held together at the top by a paper clip. “And this is a spreadsheet I’ve made up showing the competitions you’ve been to and how much you made versus how much you would have made if you’d had a good sponsor.”
Trey took a minute to glance over the spreadsheet. “That’s quite the difference.”
Hank gave him a confident smile. “I know. If you’re going to be riding anyway, you might as well make it worth as much as you can. Plus, if you’re with me, I’d like to bring you back home so you can train with some of my other clients. You’ve got raw talent, but if you refined your skills a little more, I think there’d be a place for you at the top. Now, you said you didn’t want to come home until you’re allowed to bring your son home, is that right?”
Trey looked across the table at Hank. “Yes, sir. I don’t want to leave him for a big chunk of time if I can help it.”
“I told you, my name is Hank, not sir. Any idea how long that might take?”
“Well, I’m hoping it will be in the next couple of months, but it’s really hard to say.”
“Okay, well, we’ll do what we can under the circumstances. I know a few of the top riders in Brazil. I’ll see if you can train with one of them until you come home.”
“Thank you, Hank.” Trey looked back down at the papers in front of him and started to scan them.
Hank waited patiently, sipping coffee. “So, which way are you leaning?”
“Well, it’s all a lot to think about, Hank. I mean, it’s pretty exciting, but I need to talk to my wife first.”
“Sure, it’s a big decision. You might want to show it to a lawyer as well.”
“She is a lawyer.”
“Really? Well, I can’t wait to meet her.”
* * *
“So, what do you think?” Trey asked as soon as Alessandra looked up from the contract.
She took her glasses off and gave him a little shrug. “It all looks fine as far as I can tell.”
“I should sign it then?” he asked, trying to contain his excitement.
“Yes, if this is what you want to do, then signing with Hank is probably a good idea.”
Trey jumped up from his chair and leaned over to give Alessandra a big kiss on her lips.
“Yes! I’m so glad you agree. I really thought it was the way to go.” He clapped his hands together. “Are you excited? I’m excited!”
“Trey, there are no circumstances in which I’m going to be happy about you riding bulls.”
“Fair enough. I’ll be excited enough for the both of us, then.” Lifting his hands to her cheeks, he gave her another kiss. “This is the right move, babe. I know it is. A year from now, we’re going to have so much money, we won’t know what to do with it all.”
Thirty-Five
“This came today.” Alessandra handed Trey a large envelope. It was from the federal court, addressed to him.
“Is this what I think it is?” Trey leaned his shovel against the stall gate and looked at his wife. She was still in her work suit and her face was devoid of emotion. Opening the package, he took out the papers, gave them a quick look and then handed them back to her. “Do you mind telling me what they say?”
“Of course.” She stood for a moment, reading the letter. “This says you have been added to Tomas’s birth certificate, which is enclosed, and that you have been granted guardianship. The court is satisfied that you will provide for him properly, and you are free to go back to the US with him.” Her voice was quiet as she gave him the news. She flipped through the attachments and they looked at them together.
Trey let out a long breath. “So that’s it, then?”
“Yes, that’s it.” She gave him a big smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks! It’s such a relief. I feel like now the Ferreiras can’t come back and fight for custody.”
“You’re right. They won’t be able to.”
Trey gave her a big hug. “Thank you so much for making this happen. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Sure you could have. It would have just cost you a lot of money.”
“Which I don’t have. Plus, your boss really managed to expedite everything for us. It could have been another year! I need to get him a gift. Maybe a bottle of his favourite wine or something? And we should celebrate—maybe we could go out for a nice dinner. But first, I’m going to finish this up and call my parents to give them the news.”
“Of course. I’m going to get changed out of my suit and go say hello to Vô and Tomas.”
Alessandra waited until she was out of the barn to let her face fall. She propelled herself forward although her feet felt like lead weights. She felt sick about what she knew was going to happen now. Trey would take Tomas back home so he could compete in the bull riding circuit. Lorena had left two weeks earlier, which meant there was no way Alessandra could join them in the US. She was needed here.
She stewed over the problem as she slowly changed into jeans and put her hair up in a ponytail. By the time she left the bedroom, Trey was sitting at the table in front of his laptop, speaking with his very excited mother. Alessandra sneaked out so as not to be noticed by Trey’s mom. She didn’t have the heart to pretend to share their enthusiasm at the moment. During the walk from the bedroom to the front door, she heard Fern say, “Well, of course you can use our place as a home base! We want to get as much time with our grandson as possible!”
Stepping outside, Alessandra could feel her heart shattering. Her eyes filled with tears as she watched Tomas and her grandfather sitting in chairs on the patio, sharing an orange.
* * *
“Come with us,” Trey said as he took the plate Alessandra had just rinsed and started rubbing it with a dishtowel.
“I can’t. You know I need to stay here. I have my job and I can’t leave Avô.” Alessandra concentrated on the glass she was washing so she could avoid looking at him.
“How long is your mom’s contract again?”
“Six months, but I’m pretty sure they’ll offer her an extension and I know she won’t want to come back. She’s really happy.”
“Okay, what if we find someone to come here every day and look after the farm and Carlos? Maybe one of your cousins?”
“If we do that, my mother will quit her job and move back home. It’s not just the chores around the farm. He needs someone to cook for him and make sure he takes his medicine. Soon, it will be time to harvest the oranges, and things get very hectic. We’ll have a large team of migrant workers that will need to be managed for several weeks. And what if something happens to him? We can’t just let him be alone.”
“Alessa, I really admire that you want to take care of him, but do you even think Carlos would want you to stay? I mean, honestly, it’s not like we’d be gone forever. For now, it would just be for two months. He would want you to go and meet my family, wouldn’t he?”
“I’m sure he would, but that doesn’t make it right. If I leave, I will be doing exactly what my mother predicted I would—falling in love and leaving my grandfather alone. She will come rushing back and I’ll never hear the end of it. Besides, I don’t want to do that to her, just when she’s finally getting a chance to do what she loves. I wish it could work, but there’s no way. I can’t just leave my job, either. I have too many responsibilities here. I need you to understand that.”
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Trey sighed heavily. “I guess I do, but I really have to go now.
Hank’s got a big sponsor who sounds very interested in me. I could make more money by next year at this time than we ever thought possible.”
Alessandra closed her eyes for a moment. “We don’t need more money than we thought possible. We need to be a family. I still can’t see why you refuse to consider staying here. The farm needs a good manager, you’ve been amazing at running it and it’s good work. It’s safe and we can all stay together.”
“But it’s not mine, Alessandra. It belongs to your grandfather. I need to make my own way in life, just like you’re doing. Remember when we sat at the restaurant in São Paulo, talking about our dreams? We both agreed that life is just so much better if you can live your dreams. You’re living your dream. Can’t I do the same?”
“So, bull riding is your dream now?”
Trey sighed. “No, my dream is to give my family a wonderful life. Bull riding is the best way for me to do that. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Alessa, but this isn’t one of them. I’ve found the one thing that I’m really talented at—not just as good as other guys, but really talented. And if I have a chance to do it, I just feel like somehow it’s going to let me fix everything. I can go back home a champion, someone my parents can brag about, you know? I won’t just be their son who had a baby with his cousin’s girlfriend anymore. I’ll be somebody. And my son won’t just be the boy everyone thought was Cole Mitchell’s son, he’ll be the son of a champion bull rider. I know this whole thing sounds stupid to you, but to me it’s a chance to wipe the slate clean.”
“I didn’t realize what this meant to you. I thought bull riding was all about the money.”
“It started out that way, but it’s so much more now.”
Alessa stared at Trey for a long moment before answering. He was completely sincere. “Well then, I guess you have to do it. And I have to let you go, even if it means we will be apart for so long.” Her voice broke.
Trey put down the dishtowel and tried to give her a hug but Alessandra shook her head. “I’ll get you all wet.”
“I don’t care about that. Come here.” He took her wet hands and placed them behind his back before folding his arms around her. “You know I’ll come back for you, right? I’m not going to stay gone.”
“How can you know that? What if you do really well with the bull riding and you decide to stay in it for years?”
“I won’t. I’ll just see if I can make the finals and if I can’t, I forget the whole thing. I promise. You have nothing to worry about.”
Alessandra pulled back and gave him a serious look. “But what about Tomas? You can’t just take him there and leave him with your mother. He doesn’t even know her. If you insist on going, can you please leave him with me? This is his home.”
Trey shook his head. “I need to be with him, Alessa. My family needs the chance to get to know him. And he needs to get to know them.”
Alessandra didn’t answer but turned and started washing a pot.
“Let’s think on it a bit. It’s a tough decision, and it’s one we don’t have to make today. Worst-case scenario, we’ll go to Colorado for a couple months and I won’t win, but I’ll still come back with some sponsorship money. Best case, I make it to the world finals and I bring home a million dollars. Just think what that money could do for our family. We’d never have to worry about money again. Hell, we could buy a place there and here and go back and forth.”
Alessandra nodded her head. “I can see you need to do this, Trey, and I won’t try to stop you. I just want you to consider leaving Tomas here.”
Trey nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
* * *
The next five days passed in a quiet sadness. Trey had decided to bring Tomas with him, knowing how hard it would be for Alessandra. She hadn’t argued about it, but he could tell it scared her. On Trey’s part, he felt as though time was charging forward at breakneck speed and then suddenly halting, until it seemed to stretch out endlessly as he prepared to start his thrilling new life. He took in everything with keen awareness, especially when it came to Alessandra. Each little sigh, every wistful look, those moments where she stared off into space—each one tugged at his heart. He knew she was trying to hide her sadness from him, and he knew it was harder to be the one left behind than the one doing the leaving. He would make this time apart worthwhile. He would return to her a champion and she would know it had all been for a good reason.
* * *
Alessandra sat at her desk in her office, staring out the window at the park. There was a tall stack of work in front of her that required her immediate attention and yet somehow she just couldn’t make herself concentrate, no matter how hard she tried. She had barely slept for days. Late-night talks with Trey, along with her fears, kept her awake at night. She watched as a woman outside walked slowly along, holding hands with a little boy as he hopped along the path. The woman was in no hurry. She had all the time in the world to let him explore and watch him grow, and Alessandra suddenly felt a pang of envy.
Her time with Tomas was winding down and she couldn’t be sure if she’d ever see him again. What if Trey decided to stay in the US? What if he decided he didn’t want her anymore? It was entirely believable to her that the spell he was under might dissolve once he’d been home for a while. What if her mother was right? He might realize that what they had was nothing more than gratitude, nothing more than the need to cling to a warm, comforting body at a time in his life when he had been so alone. Everything was all so complicated because of Tomas. Maybe even her own feelings for Trey had developed in part because she didn’t want to have to say goodbye to his son. The thought that Tomas might grow up and not even remember her was almost too much for her to think about. But it was possible.
She felt helpless to do anything but wait. She couldn’t stop him. She wouldn’t. She needed to let him go and hope he loved her enough to return to her. So she wouldn’t beg, she wouldn’t plead or get angry and push him away. She would just hope and pray. Hope he wouldn’t forget how perfect they were together and pray that he would come home safe.
But maybe there was one thing she could do. Something that would really show her once and for all if his love for her would last a lifetime. She could offer him his freedom. She could make it very easy for him if he changed his mind about her. And if he came back to her in the end, she would know without a doubt that he was hers forever.
She knew it was a risk but it was one she was willing to take. He might choose his freedom, but wouldn’t it be better to know now than to have him return out of a sense of obligation to live out a life he didn’t want? Her hands shook as she opened a folder called Divorce Templates on her computer and got to work.
Thirty-Six
The night before Trey and Tomas were set to leave, Alessandra stood in the living room of their tiny house among the suitcases and boxes they would take. Tomas slept in his bed, looking so peaceful. He knew he was going on a plane ride but he was too little to understand what any of it meant. She crouched down next to him and cradled his cheek in her hand, praying she would be with him again soon. She loved him so much. She couldn’t imagine loving him more if she’d given birth to him herself. He was three and a half now, and she’d been with him every day since he was one. He and Trey were supposed to come back in November, but somehow she couldn’t see them being back together by then. She might miss Tomas’s next Christmas. And his next birthday. And maybe the rest of his life. The thought shredded her.
A hand on her shoulder interrupted her thoughts. “Come here,” Trey whispered, holding his hands out to help her up. He pulled her in for a long, deep hug. “You okay?” he whispered.
Alessandra shook her head into his chest, unable to voice her pain.
“Look at me.” He held his hands to her face. “We’re going to be together very soon. What’s a few weeks when you’re going to spend a lifetime together?”
&n
bsp; She tried to smile. “Right. I know.”
“You know I’m coming back. You believe me, don’t you?”
She nodded. “I want to, but I’m scared.”
“I read somewhere that the most dangerous part about bull riding is the flight to and from the competition. You’re not scared of me going on a plane, are you?”
Alessandra raised a skeptical eyebrow. “That’s not true. You never read that.”
“Well, someone should write that down. I’m sure it would make you feel better. I’m completely safe on those bulls. If anything, they’re in danger around me. So you see, there’s nothing to worry about.” He gave her a lingering kiss. “Nothing is going to keep us apart. I promise.”
* * *
Later, after they got into bed, Trey rolled onto his side and gave Alessandra a long, slow kiss. Her hand was tucked in between their bodies and rested gently on his chest. She shut her eyes tight as she kissed him back. He knew from the feel of it that it was a kiss of grief and loss as much as it was a kiss of yearning. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, drinking in their last tastes of each other. He lifted her nightie over her head, tossed it to the end of the bed and ran his large hands over her naked body. Burying his face into her neck, he breathed in the scent of her, a mix of cream and flower blossoms. He took his time kissing her from the nape of her neck to her earlobe. “I wish I could stop time right here,” he whispered to her. “I don’t want to leave without you.”
She nodded her agreement and he saw her swallow her sorrow before she kissed him again. Their tongues melded together in their seductive, familiar dance, their need for each other building. Alessandra pulled his boxer briefs down, pushing them the rest of the way off with her toes before wrapping one leg over his hip. There were no barriers now, only the small space between them. He ran his hand down her side, letting his mouth follow his fingertips. He wanted to kiss every inch of her, to make this last, to leave her with a beautiful memory that would get her through their weeks apart.