Breaking Hearts (Full Hearts #4)

by MJ Summers

  “Thanks, Hank. I really am grateful for everything you’ve done. I’m not upset. I’m just not looking forward to that conversation.”

  “Women, right?”

  “Yeah, well, I haven’t exactly made things easy for her,” Trey answered, stress written all over his face.

  Hank left him alone to make his decision. Trey leaned his head against the wall, feeling the pain return to his arm. He’d been looking forward to having a break to let his body heal, but now it looked like that might not happen. And how was he going to tell Alessandra he’d been asked to go to Australia instead of coming back to her? She wasn’t going to take this lightly, and in his heart he already knew she wouldn’t come with him. Things had been very tense. Their last conversation had been quiet and awkward, neither of them wanting to start a fight but neither one happy. At this point, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go back to Brazil to spend two months with her, only to have to deal with these same problems when he’d leave again after Christmas. The thought of escaping to Australia and New Zealand sounded a lot more appealing. And when he really thought about it, he felt like he was hitting his stride as a bull rider. The amount he’d learned about the mechanics of the sport had him feeling much more at ease when the gate opened every night. His last ride had been like floating on a cloud. He had stayed in the sweet spot the entire eight seconds and his score had shown as much. Even though his body was the worse for wear, it seemed like a shame to take a break just when he was getting so much more powerful with each ride.

  Beyond that, he’d be putting a lot of money in the bank, and it wasn’t like he could afford not to take the money. He needed to stay on track, make his cash as fast as he could, then figure the rest out once he was set up.

  Trey could feel his stomach churning as he wrote the text.

  * * *

  Alessandra sat on her bed with her laptop, listening to music and scrolling through Pinterest. Glancing at the time, she realized she should have been asleep a couple of hours ago, but she was restless. A thought popped into her head. She wanted to check whether the publicity shots of Trey were up on his agent’s website yet. They should have been posted by now. She wanted to look at his handsome face. Maybe then she could finally sleep.

  She typed in the address of Hank’s site, then clicked through to the list of bull riders. She found Trey’s name and a thumbnail photo of him. She clicked on his name and was taken to the page featuring him. There was a photo of him on a bull that brought out that cavewoman in her. Wow. Scrolling down, she read his bio. It was very brief, mainly talking about how he got his start very recently in Brazil. Hmm. It didn’t mention that he was married. That was odd. Her mouth went dry as she continued to scroll down the page and saw a few pictures from his HD Ice photo shoot.

  He was dressed in a fitted black T-shirt sporting the HD Ice logo, along with jeans and his black cowboy hat and boots. His hands were on his hips, muscles rippling out from the short sleeves of the T-shirt, forearms looking huge. It was what was attached to each arm that gutted Alessandra: the delicate hands of two extremely hot girls, one on either side of him. They both wore black leather halter tops bearing the HD Ice logo, their ample breasts billowing out the top. Their flat, toned abs led to leather miniskirts that flared out to make their legs look even thinner. Both girls had long, loose curls of blond hair trailing down their sides and wicked grins on their faces, as if they were eye-fucking the camera and were about to do the same to Trey. At least that’s how Alessandra interpreted their expressions.

  She stared at their hands, one on Trey’s forearm and the other on his upper arm. They were touching him. The very sight of it made her sick to her stomach. She glanced at the framed photo of their wedding, seeing that same face, except that in this photo, it was her own hand on his arm, and Tomas was smiling up from between them. Trey looked like a completely different person than the one she knew. How could he be the same man? How could he have agreed to pose for such photos? How could he have tried to keep it a secret from her?

  She closed her laptop and put it on her night table before shutting off the light.

  Her cellphone buzzed as she lay in the dark fuming. It was a text from Trey.

  You still up? I have some big news I need to talk with you about.

  When she didn’t answer him in a few minutes, he sent another one.

  I won tonight. And I’ve been given a pretty big opportunity, but I don’t want to make a decision until I speak with you. Call me when you wake up. I don’t care what time it is for me.

  Alessandra stared at the screen, a wave of nausea slapping her. She couldn’t talk to him right now. Not when she was so angry. Not when she knew without a doubt that he was about to give her more bad news. This was the end. But she couldn’t bring herself to face it. Whatever big decision he had to make right now, he would have to do it alone.

  * * *

  “You’re not coming home, are you?” Alessandra said when she picked up the phone. She sat at her desk in her office, glad she had shut the door.

  Trey’s voice was quiet. “No, I’m not. Not when we planned. I’m sorry. I tried to reach you last night and this morning before I accepted, but I guess I missed you.”

  “I had to rush out this morning, so I didn’t have time to call you back. Where are you?”

  “I’m in an airport in Tucson.”

  “Oh right, I’m having trouble keeping track. So, what’s the big opportunity?” Alessandra’s voice was cool.

  “HD Ice is starting to sell in the South Pacific. They want to send me there when the world championships are over. They’ll pay all my expenses plus a twenty-thousand-dollar bonus for me to spend two months over there.”

  “So, you won’t come back at all, then? Just straight back to the US for the start of next season?” Alessandra fought with herself to remain calm.

  “Yes, but I was thinking you could come with me, even just for part of the time. Or maybe we could meet in Bora Bora for our honeymoon. There’s a ten day break at the end of November.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know. What about Tomas?”

  “If you were coming for the entire time, I’d bring him, but otherwise, I’m thinking I’ll leave him with my parents while I’m gone. He’s gotten settled in here. They take him to the ranch to play with my cousins’ kids most days, so he’ll be having a great time here.”

  Trey waited for Alessandra to say something but when she didn’t, he continued. “I know I’ve thrown a lot at you in one phone call. I’m sure you need some time to think about it.”

  “Mm-hmm, it’s a lot to consider.”

  “You okay?”

  “Not really,” she whispered.

  There was a long silence as she sat trying to regain her composure.

  Trey’s voice was thick with emotion. “I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too. I miss you so much every day it hurts. But maybe meeting for a romantic getaway is just what we need, you know? You and me alone together, for the first time. We could stay in one of those over-the-water cabins you told me about.”

  “It sounds like paradise.” She swiped her hand under her eyes to dry her tears.

  “It does, doesn’t it?”

  The pictures of him with those models popped into her head, dissolving any fantasies she was starting to entertain about the two of them together. “Trey, I can’t meet you. You’re telling me you’ll be gone from now until basically next June. That means nine months apart after only three months of being together. I think we should accept the fact that this is really over.”

  “Don’t say that. All of this is just temporary, I promise you.”

  “No, it’s not. The marriage was the temporary part. Let’s stop pretending. It’s just killing us both slowly.” Her voice broke.

  “I know this is hard, but we’ll be okay, Alessandra. There’s nothing I want more than to make our marriage work.”

  “I wish that were true, but I’ve recently seen proof that you’re more interested in
the single life.” As soon as she had said it, she hated herself for it.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I looked at Hank’s website last night. According to your profile, you’re not married.”

  “What?” Trey asked. “I haven’t even looked at it. Does it say I’m single?”

  “No, it doesn’t say at all. There’s no mention of me. Only that you got your start in Brazil.”

  “Okay, well, I’m sure it’s just a mistake. I’ll call Hank and straighten that out.”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s by design. They obviously want you to portray a certain image. I also saw the pictures of you with those models from HD Ice, and they certainly don’t make you look like a family man.”

  Trey sighed audibly. “Oh shit. I was hoping you wouldn’t see those stupid pictures. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be upset. And frankly, I’m totally embarrassed about the whole thing.”

  “The fact that you didn’t tell me about it makes me wonder what else you are keeping from me.”

  “Nothing, I swear. There’s nothing else. And I’m really sorry about the entire thing. I should have told you. Honestly, I didn’t know those girls were going to be there until we got started. I also didn’t feel like I could say no. HD had just cut me a cheque for twenty-five grand the day before and it’s not like I’m at a point in my career where I get to call the shots. I hate the pictures. But they are fake, Alessa. They’re lighting and makeup and illusion. The whole thing was just really awkward . . .” Trey trailed off, sounding defeated.

  “Well, that may be, but it would have hurt much less if you’d told me about them right away or . . . at all, I guess. Finding out on my own and knowing you lied to me makes it all so much worse.” Alessandra’s voice cracked. “You know, Trey, one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place was because of your honesty—even about things that would make you look bad. You told me everything. But now you’ve started hiding the truth from me, and I can’t be with someone who won’t be completely honest with me. I also can’t be with someone who doesn’t have any interest in being married to me. You want to travel the world and ride bulls and spend your time with hot women who wear clothes that would fit a toddler. So fine. Do it. I’m done. I’m done waiting.”

  “What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?”

  “I can’t just sit here waiting and hoping you’ll come back. It hurts too much. I deserve better than this. I deserve to be with someone who is so in love with me that he can’t stand the thought of being apart for more than a few days.”

  “Jesus, me being away has got nothing to do with how I feel about you. I wish you understood what I’m trying to do here. I’m doing all of this for us. I’m trying to make a better life for our family.”

  “We already had the better life. You gave it up.”

  A voice over a loudspeaker interrupted their conversation.

  “Shit. That’s the final boarding call for the flight to Vegas. Can we talk later tonight?”

  “No. We can’t, Trey. Good luck in Vegas. I hope you win it all.”

  She hung up, trying to keep it together. She had made the right decision. It made sense and she knew that in her heart. He was doing what he wanted to do and his new life didn’t include her. She needed to let him go, just as she had thought when he first left Brazil. He loved her because she had been there when he was alone, because she had offered him hope and comfort. But he didn’t need her anymore. Maybe someday she’d find someone who loved her more than he needed her, but that man wasn’t going to be Trey.

  Forty

  One Week Later

  Trey boarded the flight to Auckland and sank into his seat. He closed his eyes, regret settling over him like a thick fog. He hadn’t made it past the first round in Vegas, which gave him an extra two days in Colorado with Tomas. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough time between trips for his son to forget what it was like when Trey left.

  Since he had left the house, his mind had been torturing him with the memory of how hard Tomas had sobbed when Trey left. He’d clung to Trey’s neck, tears pouring out of his eyes. Trey’s heart snapped in two pieces when Tomas had asked him, “Will you be all gone like my mom?”

  “No, little man, I’m going to be back before you know it. It’ll be a little longer than these last trips, but then I promise I’ll be back. Nothing will keep me away.”

  In the end Fern had had to pry Tomas’s hands off Trey’s neck and hold him while Trey walked out the door. She’d let go of him and Trey had made the mistake of turning back when he reached the end of the sidewalk, only to see his son trying to open the front door and his mom struggling to stop him. His last look at him when the cab pulled away was of Tomas’s beet-red face, his mouth hanging open like it did when he was in pain. It was a scene as ugly and raw as anything Trey’d ever witnessed, and he felt like total shit to have abandoned his little boy.

  Now, as he waited for the plane to take off, he was almost certain he had made the wrong choice. He should have said no to this. Or, at the very least, maybe he should have brought Tomas with him. He was doing exactly what he had promised himself he wouldn’t do—leaving his son over and over again, just as Gabriela had done. Tomas deserved better than this.

  The night before, when he’d gone over his winnings and the earnings from his sponsorship deal, this had felt like the right choice. He was close to one hundred thousand in his account. But he could only fool himself for so long. Eventually he’d get smacked in the face by the knowledge that chasing this insane dream had likely already cost him his marriage. Most days he refused to think about that, though, and he still hadn’t told anyone about how bad things were with Alessandra. Even though they hadn’t spoken since he was in Tucson, his heart wouldn’t let him believe it was over. She was angry and hurt but she was also his. A love like theirs couldn’t simply dissolve because of a little time away from each other. He was sure that once he was released from his contract, he could win her back. He was giving her some space, but he planned to stop in Brazil to see her on his way back to the US.

  But now that plan didn’t seem like such a sure thing. He had to face it—he’d left his little family scattered all over the globe in pieces, hurting. The two people he loved the most were feeling the sting of being abandoned by him. As he sat listening to the distant sound of the safety instructions being read out, he told himself that once this trip was over, he would tell Hank that he was hanging up his chaps for good. Another year like this wasn’t worth any amount of money.

  Forty-One

  Christchurch, New Zealand

  Trey stood in the dark, listening to the roar of the crowd, watching as fireworks lit up the stadium and music began to blare out of the speakers. He felt strangely calm but he didn’t know why. “He’s one of the newest members of the International Bull Riders Association, and he’s been tearing it up all over the world this year! He’s the points leader so far at the New Zealand Cup. All the way from Colorado, USA, Trey Johnson!”

  Adrenalin coursed through his veins as he heard his name announced and stepped forward into the spotlight. He took off his hat and waved it in the air, squinting under the bright lights, unable to see into the crowd. The thrill of this moment woke him up to the possibility of another chance to float on a cloud. His draw that night was called Yolo, and he was rumoured to be the rankest bull in all of the South Pacific Rim, which was both terrifying and affirming. Yolo was smart, changing up his kicks and spins to make himself unpredictable. No rider had ever gone the full eight on him but somehow Trey knew that tonight, he would be the first. He was there to win, and if he could stay on that bull he would take the New Zealand Cup. It wasn’t a lot of money, but he needed to scrape every dollar out of this trip, and he’d sure love to end his short career with a national championship under his belt. The sound of the crowd faded as he walked back to the dressing room to wait his turn. He had given up watching the other riders weeks ago, electing to s
it in the quiet to prepare himself.

  An hour later, a knock at the door signalled his turn. He got up, put his black hat on and made his way to the ring. The deafening sounds along with the lights burning down on him were a shock to the system, but one he needed to get himself fully pumped up. This was it. His moment to shine. Making his way to the chute, he climbed up and found his perch on top of the huge white beast. As he secured the rope around his riding hand, he realized how very strange it was that this seemed normal to him now. It was as though he’d always done it and it was the most common thing in the world. He eased himself forward so he was sitting as close to his hand as possible and took a deep breath, determined not to let anything, certainly not this bull, throw him. Yolo huffed, then tried a little kick in the chute, giving Trey a warning of what was to come. Music poured over the stadium but that, along with the cheers, faded as the sounds of his own breath and heartbeat filled his ears.

  He nodded his head to start the ride. The gate opened and Yolo exploded out of the chute with a violent twist coupled with a powerful kick of his back legs. Trey knew immediately that he would not be riding an ocean wave tonight. Instead, he would have to fight like hell to stay on. Eight seconds on this bull would be an eternity in themselves. Rocking himself back, he managed to counter the bull’s next impulse to spill him over his horns. One second. Pivot forward. Two seconds. Lean left. Get back to the sweet spot. Three seconds. Hold tight. Use that entire arm. Four seconds. Back again and again. Five seconds. Stay on your feet. Six seconds. Grip with your spurs. Tug your legs down hard. Seven seconds. Shit! He’s going up again! Got it! eight seconds.

  The sound of the buzzer brought Trey’s mind back to the arena as he let go and let himself slide off the bull, landing on his feet and hands.