The Passions of Chelsea Kane

by Barbara Delinsky

  “It drives Hunter crazy.”

  “Then why doesn’t he do something about it?”

  “Why don’t you?” Judd shot back. The question had been nagging at him.

  “What do you mean?” she asked quietly.

  “You’ve been in the Notch for four months, and you’ve known a lot longer that you were born here. Why haven’t you done more to find out who your parents are?”

  She frowned. Her gaze skipped to the ocean and lingered there. At last she said, “It’s hard. One part of me wants to know the whole truth. The other part is satisfied just being in the Notch.”

  “What’s with the key?” She had mentioned it when they’d argued in August. He had wondered about it ever since. “What does it unlock?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He couldn’t believe she hadn’t tried to track it down. “Maybe a safe-deposit vault?”

  “Oh, no. It isn’t that kind of key. It goes to a music box.”

  An image materialized in Judd’s mind. He stared at her hard for a minute. Then he shook his head.

  “What?” she asked.

  “There’s a clock at Zee’s. When little kids are scared to have their hair cut, Zee bribes them with the promise of winding the clock.” Chelsea had come alert on her chair, so he said quickly, “But there’s no way you’re Zee’s. He was part of the Italian resistance to the Third Reich. He was injured and can’t have kids.”

  She remained alert. “Are you sure?”

  “He told my dad more than once. When Dad was down about having no wife, Zee said he was lucky at least to have a child, because Zee couldn’t have any at all.”

  Chelsea settled back on the rocker.

  “So what are you going to do about the key?” Judd asked. The way he figured it, if she could solve the mystery of the key, she could solve the mystery of her parentage, and if she could do that, she would feel free to leave the Notch. She claimed to like the place. It would be interesting to see how long she’d stick around when she no longer had cause to.

  “I don’t know,” she said quietly.

  “Want me to track it down?” Call it help, call it a little push, same difference. “I wouldn’t mind.”

  She was surprised at first, then thoughtful.

  He sweetened the pot. “I wouldn’t have to say it was yours.”

  “You’d do it quietly?”

  “Very.”

  She thought about it for a while.

  “What have you got to lose?” he asked.

  “It’s my job.”

  “Well, you haven’t been doing it.” He pushed himself off the railing. “For all you know, whoever sent your mother that key could be alive this month and dead next month. That what you want?”

  “No.”

  On his way to the back door, he said, “I blew it with my father. I came back when it was too late for any meaningful dialogue. Don’t make the same mistake, Chelsea.” He opened the door. “I’m getting something to eat. When you’re hungry, come on in.”

  CHELSEA DIDN’T DO MUCH THINKING FOR THE REST OF THAT day. She had been washed out by whatever it was that had made her so sick the night before and wasn’t up to anything deep. She woke up the next morning, though, thinking about what Judd had said, and she knew that he was right. She shouldn’t be procrastinating. Life took twists and turns. The longer she waited to track down the source of the key, the more mired the path might become.

  It wasn’t until later that afternoon that she thought of Judd’s admonition in a different light. Having spent several hours on the end of the dock watching the boats gusting in from the bay, she and Judd were making hot chocolate in the kitchen when the door suddenly opened and Kevin walked in.

  Chelsea broke into a surprised smile, as did Kevin, and for a minute she had the wild hope that everything would be all right. Then he saw her stomach. He looked utterly blank at first, then confused. Slowly his eyes widened. His smile faded. His expression darkened.

  There was a storm rolling in. It was one of the twists and turns life took, and there was no outrunning it this time. Resigned, even relieved, Chelsea raised her chin and met Kevin’s stare.

  Twenty

  It’s due in February,” Chelsea said, and waited for Kevin to react. She wanted him to smile. She wanted him to be as excited as she was. He was her father, this was her child. She wanted harmony between them.

  But he continued to look confused, dismayed, stunned. She knew just what was happening. Disciplined man that he was, he was trying to figure out when she’d conceived, to remember where she’d been then and with whom, and to get over the shock of it, all at the same time.

  She was trying to decide where to begin with her story when Judd came up from behind. He didn’t touch her, just stood by her shoulder in a supportive way. “It happened very quickly,” he said.

  “It always does,” Kevin mocked. His eyes held Chelsea’s. “February. This is October. You’re more than halfway through the pregnancy. Why didn’t I know sooner?”

  The question echoed in her mind, she’d heard it so often, it seemed. But she’d done her best. She had made decisions that she felt were right at the time. “I wanted to tell you. I would have on the Fourth of July, but you wouldn’t meet me here. I would have on Labor Day, but you had other plans, and you wouldn’t come to my open house in the Notch. I wanted to tell you in person, not on the phone.”

  “How did you know I’d be here this weekend?”

  “We didn’t,” Judd put in before she could speak. “It was a calculated guess. You didn’t answer the phone in Baltimore, and Chelsea didn’t know of your plans to be anywhere else.”

  Chelsea shot Judd a curious glance. Kevin, too, directed himself that way. “Was this pregnancy an intentional thing?” he asked.

  “Not originally,” Judd replied.

  Kevin scowled, again predictable. He was a black-and-white man all the way. “It either was, or it wasn’t.”

  “It wasn’t. But the baby is wanted.”

  To Chelsea Kevin said, “You told me you didn’t want children until you knew who you were. Have you suddenly found out?”

  “No.”

  “Still you got pregnant.” He looked disgusted. “I don’t see a ring.” He eyed Judd. “Will the baby be illegitimate?”

  “Not if Chelsea doesn’t want it to be.”

  Chelsea looked at Judd even more curiously. She couldn’t marry Carl, and he knew it.

  “She doesn’t always know what’s best for her,” Kevin was saying.

  “Yes, I do,” she protested.

  He turned on her angrily. “I expected this when you were seventeen and running around with that hippie crowd, not now. You’re supposed to be an adult now. You’re supposed to be a responsible individual. Is this responsible, having a child out of wedlock? Is this how you honor your mother’s memory?”

  Chelsea felt as though she’d been slapped in the face, but Kevin barreled on.

  “Abby wanted grandchildren as much as I did, and you had plenty of opportunity to do it the right way. Instead you waited and waited. Is it time that got to you? Did you get desperate? Or did you just lose sight of what’s right and what isn’t? Did we teach you anything? For God’s sake, Chelsea, what’s going on in your mind?”

  Her insides were trembling. Yes, he was conventional, she had known that all her life. Still, there was the matter of the baby. “Aren’t you at all excited?”

  “How can I be excited? You’re living in the last place on earth where I want you to be, and now you’re pregnant. I’ve lost you.”

  “No, you haven’t. I’ll be back and forth as much as before. By next June I may be back in Baltimore for good.”

  “You’d allow that?” Kevin asked Judd.

  “If it was what she wanted, we’d work something out.”

  Chelsea made a face at Judd. “What are you talking about?”

  “Is she refusing to marry you?” Kevin asked.

  “We’re still hashing that out,�
�� Judd replied.

  The light suddenly dawned.

  “Whoa,” she said, and backed away from both men. “Whoa,” she said more forcefully, and glared at Judd. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  He reached for her. “Chelsea—“

  She took another step back and held up her hand. “No.”

  “It’s for the best.”

  “No.” She faced her father. “There’s been a misunderstanding here, thanks to your narrow-mindedness and Judd’s misguided attempts to deal with it. This baby isn’t his. It’s Carl’s.”

  “Carl’s.”

  Her insides had settled some. She felt an odd surge of strength. “Carl and I were together just once. It was at the very end, a last-ditch effort to make things work. By the time I found out I was pregnant, not only was Carl with Hailey, but she was pregnant, too. That was why they got married so fast. And that was why I didn’t go to the wedding.”

  Kevin looked dumbstruck. “Carl’s?”

  “I’m not sorry he married Hailey. She’s much better for him than I would have been.” She scowled at Judd. “The last thing I want is to be married simply for the sake of a child.” To Kevin she said, “I haven’t told Carl about the baby because there’s no point. Someday he’ll know, someday when it won’t be as risky to tell him. I’ve always loved Carl as a friend. Now he’s given me something very beautiful, at least it’s beautiful to me. It won’t be to him, because it’ll tick Hailey off and complicate their lives if I let it. I can’t do that.” Her strength began to wane. “That’s one of the reasons I moved to Norwich Notch. I couldn’t be there with Carl every day. I couldn’t let him see what was happening to me.”

  “He’d have divorced her,” Kevin argued. “Tom and Sissy would have insisted on it. He’d have married you.”

  “I don’t want that,” she cried in frustration. “Dad, listen to me. Carl and I don’t love each other that way. I’ve been trying to tell you that for months, and you refuse to hear me. We were lousy as lovers. The spark wasn’t there. If we had gotten married, it would have only been a matter of time before we resented the marriage and each other, and the baby. It’s much better this way. I’m much happier.”

  Kevin stood before her with his coat still on, his shoulders slumped, his arms hanging helplessly by his sides, and a bewildered look on his face.

  “I really am happier,” she said, and produced a watery smile. “And I really am looking forward to having the baby. I’d be looking forward to it even more if I felt you were, too.” Knowing that she’d said all that was important, and that if she stayed she would burst into tears, she whispered, “I’m tired,” and left the room.

  NIGHT HAD FALLEN WHEN SHE VENTURED BACK. THERE WERE no voices to draw her, only a single lamp in the living room, mirroring itself in the large windows that overlooked the sea. Judd was slouched in a corner of the sofa. His chin came up when her reflection appeared in the glass.

  “Where is he?” she asked softly.

  “Gone.”

  She had been afraid that would happen, but, lying in the dark of the bedroom, she hadn’t known how to keep him. Crossing the living room to the window, she put her forehead to the glass. A great emptiness filled her. She and the baby were diminutive in its midst.

  When Judd’s arms came around her, she didn’t fight. She needed the solace too badly to care what he thought of her. Turning in his arms, she buried her face against his shoulder and started to cry. She hadn’t meant to, but the tears just came, and there was no stopping them. She clutched handfuls of his sweater, hanging on for dear life to the only substantial source of comfort that existed in her world just then.

  He didn’t speak. He barely moved his arms. He just held her tightly while she cried.

  In time her tears slowed. Her breathing grew less shallow, with only the occasional shudder. You can let go of him now, she told herself, but she didn’t move. The circle of his arms was a luxury that she wasn’t ready to throw off yet.

  “Sorry about that,” she whispered, turning her cheek to his chest. “He hurts me so.”

  “That’s what I told him. I also told him other things that maybe I shouldn’t have. I may have chased him away.”

  “No. He left because of me.” Her throat constricted. She gave it a minute before she spoke again. “It’s been like this nearly since Mom died. I think he looks at me and remembers her. I think he’d be happy to have us change places.”

  “No,” Judd said, smoothing strands of hair from her temple.

  “I don’t think he loves me anymore. Maybe he never did. He never liked the idea of adopting a child. It was Abby who wanted it. Given that they couldn’t have their own, he would probably have been content going through life with none.”

  “He loved you, Chelsea.”

  “Not enough.”

  “Enough to survive your teenage years.”

  “Mom was there then. She was the buffer. With Mom gone, it’s like there’s nothing left.”

  “No. It’s Norwich Notch. And the baby. He needs time to adjust.”

  Chelsea wanted to believe that. She wanted to believe that Kevin would come around. “I want him to be there on the baby’s first birthday, and second birthday, and third birthday, but I doubt he’ll even come when it’s born.”

  “He needs time.”

  “Well, I don’t have time,” she cried. “I’m pregnant, damn it, and this baby keeps growing. It isn’t going to wait around to be born until Dad wises up. What is wrong with him?”

  Judd made a soothing sound. He combed her hair back with a steady hand. With the other he held her close.

  She let out a breath. When she took in a new one, she gathered a bit of him along with it. She loved his smell. It was fresh, faintly citrus, outdoorsy, male. She had missed it.

  “So what do I do? Do I keep trying? Do I invite him for Thanksgiving? Or do I bow out of his life and let him forget that he ever adopted a daughter?”

  “Never that,” Judd stated.

  “Maybe it’s what he wants.”

  “You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d been here before. He was agitated. People who don’t care don’t get agitated. He needs you more than ever now that your mother’s dead, but he wants you on his terms. He wants you to follow his rules.”

  “I’ve never done that well. So where does that leave me? I want family. Holidays are meant for family, and we’re approaching that season. I don’t want to be alone.”

  “You won’t be. If you don’t do anything with Kevin, you can spend the holiday with Leo and me.”

  Chelsea raised her head. She hadn’t forgotten what he’d said to Kevin, the way he’d been willing to take responsibility for her baby, the way he’d implied he would marry her if she wanted. She didn’t believe he would actually go as far as that—it was a pretty dumb suggestion—still, the gesture touched her deeply. Cautiously she said, “Are we friends, then?”

  Judd wasn’t a smiler, which was why the tiny movement at the corner of his mouth was so precious. “We’re friends.”

  “Are you still angry at me for being pregnant?”

  “Yes. But that’s okay. We can still be friends. If Thanksgiving comes and you don’t have other plans, you’ll celebrate the holiday with us. Dad loved your apple pie, crisp crust and all. Try pumpkin, and even if he doesn’t remember another thing in his life, he’ll love you forever.”

  THE SCENE WITH KEVIN NOTWITHSTANDING, THE WEEKEND IN Newport was just what Chelsea needed. She slept for hours, ate plenty once she started, and found a comfortable companion in Judd. She wasn’t so naive as to think things wouldn’t change once they returned to the Notch and the demands of their lives recommenced. But this was a welcome vacation. She hadn’t had one like it in months.

  It was just as well that she relaxed then, because she hadn’t been back at Boulderbrook for five minutes when she knew something was amiss. She walked into her bedroom and immediately noticed things out of place. “Someone’s been here,” she said, and yelle
d for Judd, who called Nolan, who arrived at the farmhouse soon after.

  Chelsea led them both into the bedroom. “Someone was here while I was gone. Someone’s been handling my things. See those pictures on the dresser? I arrange them just so. It’s a quirk. But they’re out of place. Same thing with the books by the bed. I always put the one I’m reading on top, but it’s not there now. And my portfolio? I always stand it up with the monogram facing out. It’s been reversed.”

  “Was the door locked when you came home?” Nolan asked.

  “Locked solid,” Judd answered. “No sign of forced entry.”

  “But someone’s been here,” Chelsea insisted. She could feel it, could smell it. It was devastating.

  “Is anything missing?” Nolan asked as he walked around, taking note of what was where, checking the windows for broken latches, the floor for something that might have been dropped.

  “The only thing of any substantial monetary value wasn’t touched,” Chelsea told him. That was Abby’s ruby ring, which she kept in a small locked box in her sweater drawer. She had looked for it the instant she’d come in. Seeing that it hadn’t been taken, she hadn’t looked further. It occurred to her to do so now.

  Judd took over with Nolan. “Any lead on who might have cut the phone line?”

  Chelsea opened the jewelry box on the dresser where she kept her everyday things. Nothing looked to be missing.

  “We got a footprint,” Nolan said. “A man’s work boot, size twelve narrow. There are a hundred guys in town who wear twelve narrow work boots. I went walking through the Corner asking questions, but I got more concern than anything else. Chelsea’s impressed them. They like what she did for the Hoveys. They credit her with saving the granite company.”

  Chelsea opened the small rolltop desk that she’d picked up at a garage sale. She checked the drawers inside. Passport, Neiman Marcus charge card, miscellaneous papers—all were intact.

  “I checked out our known troublemakers,” Nolan was saying as she turned to the night table, “but they’ve got alibis.” He scratched the back of his head. “This one’s a strange one. We’ve got mysterious midnight calls, a truck running on the shoulder of the road at dawn, clipped telephone lines, a barn burning, and now a break-in with nothing stolen.”