The best way to be the type of leader people want to celebrate is to care deeply about the people you work with. Effective leaders are inclusive. When they succeed, the people around them succeed. A rising tide lifts all boats. They create environments where people at every level of the company want to work hard because they know everyone benefits when everyone is working at full potential. Inclusive leaders do not isolate themselves as authoritarian figures. Rather, they include themselves in the discussion as influential innovators. These leaders know the best thing they can do for themselves is to push those around them to be their best. These are the types of leaders people celebrate. Why? Because they feel like they are a part of that person’s success.
Again, let’s take a look at Jesus. There is no disputing that he was the leader of his disciples. Clearly, he was the guy in charge. But did Jesus keep the disciples around so they could serve him and do the jobs he didn’t want to do? No. He surrounded himself with disciples so he could teach and train them. He was preparing them to carry on the momentum of his ministry. He was entrusting them with his mission. So he leveraged his power, like a counterweight, to build others up. In Matthew 10, Jesus sends the disciples into towns and villages to heal the sick and spread the gospel. But he didn’t just send them out and hope for the best. No, he equipped them. He told the disciples where to go, what to say, what to do, and even what to take (vv. 6–10). He also spent time encouraging them and warning them about the job ahead of them. That’s leadership.
Obviously, Jesus could have done everything he told the disciples to do himself. He did not give them tasks he was incapable of doing, nor was he being lazy by micromanaging. He was forcing them to live up to their potential. That’s what we are called to do as leaders, and that’s something we can do whether we are in charge or not. It’s not saying, “What can you do to make me look better?” It’s saying, “What can I do to make you be better?” Jesus didn’t use his authority to boss the disciples around. He used his influence to make them reach their fullest potential. It’s this type of leadership that people are eager to work under. Leaders who focus solely on their own success are everywhere. And leaders who focus on the success of those under them are rare.
Are you the type of leader that makes others better? When people watch the way you lead, do they want to be like you or do they want to be as different from you as possible? Because not only do leaders make those around them better, they live and lead in a way that’s worth emulating.
MAKE A LEADERSHIP LIST
One of the best things you can do to be a better leader is to watch and learn from the people who are in charge. Great leaders have the ability to learn from those above them and apply those lessons. Look at leaders you admire (and leaders you don’t admire) and start paying attention to how they lead. The best leaders are learners. They realize there is always something to learn from the people around them. When I worked in entry-level positions at our church, I constantly watched the person at the top, because I wanted to know if he was using what he was selling. Did he actually believe what he was teaching?
No matter what job you have, or what type of boss you have, you can learn how to lead, and how not to lead. You can learn just as much from a terrible boss as you can from a great one. Pay attention. Take notes on what you like and don’t like. Here’s an example of a list I made when I was in my twenties. These are some notes I wrote down as I was watching figures of authority and how they led.
Dos:
• Value every opinion, especially those that contradict your own.
• Tell people you value the work they are putting in.
• Lead by action first and word second.
• Express expectations and make sure those around you know what you want and need from them.
• Provide as much encouragement and affirmation as possible.
• Be efficient with tasks and effective with people.
Don’ts:
• Underestimate the intern.
• Ignore an idea/belief/criticism shared by more than one person.
• Take the people who are doing the dirty work for granted.
• Schedule meetings that have no clear goal or purpose.
• Act as if you’re better than everyone, even if you are.
• Undervalue the time others are putting in to make your job easier.
As you are making your list, be aware that others may be watching you and making their own lists of dos and don’ts. If the people around you are smart, they are learning just as much from you as you are from them. Where does your leadership style fall on this list? Do people look at you for how they should or shouldn’t behave? Is the way you lead, whether you’re in charge or not, worth emulating? If you aren’t setting an example worth following now, it’s unlikely anything will change once you’re in charge.
YOUR PLACE IN LINE
Ultimately, the best leader we can emulate is Jesus. He was the best leader to ever live and not because he had all the power. He did, but he relinquished those rights and claims to become a willing servant to God’s mission to redeem and save us. As the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity, Jesus had an eternal claim to more authority than anyone that has ever lived. He could have wielded this authority and power, threatening to smite anyone who stood in his way. But he didn’t. He never used his authority to force anyone to comply with his will. He used influence and self-sacrifice. Earlier, we looked at this passage from Philippians. Let’s look one more time as a reminder of the kind of leadership we are called to exercise.
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used
to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature of a servant.
PHIL. 2:5–7
If Jesus didn’t consider equality with God a thing to be used to his advantage, then why should we think we can throw around our authority to get what we want? What do you want to be? A lead pastor, a CEO, maybe the President of the United States? What do all of these positions have in common? They have zero authority compared to Jesus. But here’s the thing: it wasn’t the authority Jesus possessed that made him a great leader. It was his influence over the minds and hearts of people, influence cultivated by speaking truth and challenging the status quo, by serving others, by healing people and meeting their needs. It was an influence cultivated by giving people hope and vision for the future. Ultimately, it was influence earned by demonstrating the depth of his love for people, by sacrificing himself on their behalf. That’s leadership. And it’s our job to emulate his example. The question we should ask ourselves is this: are the people I’m leading here for me or am I here for them? Great leaders sacrifice themselves for the good of others. Jesus laid his life down. If the Son of God didn’t lead with self-service as his priority, then neither should we. Jesus teaches us that leadership isn’t about being served. It’s about serving. And the best part about serving is that anyone can do it. Anyone, no matter his or her position, can serve others. From the lead pastor or CEO to the summer intern, we all share the responsibility of service and the obligation to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
NOW WHAT?
There are four words that rattle around in my brain on a regular basis. These four words create accountability for how I’m living each day. They create urgency for my beliefs, helping me to make sure they are evident in my actions. If my stated beliefs aren’t showing up in my everyday life, then they’re just statements and claims. I’m not actually living by faith. So these four words give gravity to what I’m doing right now, not just what I say I believe.
“As now, so then.”
Or to put these four words into our context: as you’re leading now, so you will lead then. If you aren’t leading through influence now, you won’t lead through influence then. If you
are waiting on authority to begin to have influence, you’ll be forced to depend on that authority when you’re in charge. You have to start now. As now, so then.
My point in writing this book was to help you see that you can be the leader you want to be today. You have everything you need to lead. You have the examples of those around you. You have the example of Jesus. You interact with people you can serve every day. Leadership is not about waiting until people call you a leader. It’s about doing everything you can to lead right where you are.
I’ve tried to give you some practical advice, which I hope you can begin to apply. But if there is one thing everyone needs to do, no matter his or her position of authority, it’s this—love. Love is commonly overlooked when people talk about leadership. Great leaders love what they do, who they do it with, and who they do it for. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
That’s what Jesus did. He was the best leader to ever walk the face of the earth. He began a movement that has lasted over two thousand years. And how did he do it? By loving each and every person he came into contact with. There are a lot of things Jesus did that you and I can’t do (like walking on water, feeding five thousand people with a few loaves of bread and some fish, raising someone from the dead). But loving other people is something anyone can do. Not only that, it’s something great leaders do well. I’ll never forget hearing Patrick Lencioni say this at Willow Creek’s Leadership Summit: “Management is good ministry. We are called to love the people we lead.” Sound familiar?
The mission of our church is to lead people into a growing relationship with Jesus. With so many issues and challenges facing people today, I believe Jesus is the answer. That’s not trite and that’s not lip service. Jenny and I have leveraged all of our lives to this end. Why, then, have I written this book on leadership? The longer I’ve served as a pastor, the more convinced I am that the church needs better leaders. And not just as a formal organization with staff and pastors, but throughout the entire church. We need followers of Christ who are living out their faith as leaders in all of their diverse and wonderful callings—as teachers, parents, accountants, lawyers, musicians, artists, coaches, janitors, auto mechanics, plumbers—you name it! If Jesus is the hope of the world, then the church, the people of Jesus, is the vehicle for that hope. And if you are a pastor or teacher in the church, your people need to hear from you what it means to be a godly leader. They need to hear the call to step up and lead, even if they aren’t in positions of authority.
I’m done treading water, just waiting on authority or a title to start leading. I’m determined to lead like life depends on it, because I believe it does. I’m not going to buy the lie that says I need more authority to have more influence. If the way of influence really outpaces the way of authority, let’s get on the road together and start moving ahead. Great leadership depends on influence. The more influence you cultivate today, the more you’ll have tomorrow.
Choose to start leading today, whether you’re in charge or not.
It starts right now.
NOTES
Chapter 1: The Oddity of Leadership
1. Sinek, Simon. “Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe.” https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_why_good_leaders_make_you_feel_safe.
2. Collins, Jim. “Good to Great.” FastCompany.com, https://www.fastcompany.com/43811/good-great.
3. Tabrizi, Benham. “The Key to Change is Middle Management.” Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2014/10/the-key-to-change-is-middle-management.
Chapter 2: Identity Crisis
1. Zucker, Jerry. First Knight. DVD. Los Angeles: Columbia Pictures, 1995.
2. Morel, Pierre. Taken. DVD. Los Angeles: 20th Century Fox, 2008.
Chapter 3: Reclaim Kibosh
1. Seinfeld. “The Opera.” Episode 49. Directed by Tom Cherones. Written by Larry Charles. NBC, November 4, 1992.
2. In Jewish hermeneutics, there are four basic interpretive categories: literal (peshat), philosophical (remez), inferred (derash), and mystical (sod). The first letter of each one of those Hebrew words is used to create the acronym PRDS, more commonly referred to and pronounced by my Rabbi friends as “pardes.” This is still used as the framework for Jewish exegesis and interpretative study of the Torah. A Jewish Rabbi would consider this connection between kabash and kibosh to be a remez, not a peshat. It’s philosophical, not literal. Even though we cannot find a literal connection between kabash and kibosh, it’s accurate to say that these two words make the exact sound, yet have two distinct and contrary definitions. To use the wordplay to make a point is a normal and acceptable form of Jewish hermeneutics. To the Hebrew people, the word, kabash, must have meant something beautiful. Today, when someone uses that same sound, kibosh, they mean something completely different. No one knows how we got here, but no one can deny the distortion of where we are.
Chapter 4: Lead Yourself
1. Ballard, Glenn and Siedah Garrett. Man in the Mirror. Los Angeles: Epic Records, 1988.
2. Maxwell, John. Leadership Handbook: 26 Critical Lessons Every Leader Needs (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015), 17.
3. Watkins, Michael D. The First 90 Days: Proven Strategies for Getting Up to Speed Faster and Smarter (Boston: Harvard Business Review Press, 2013), 20.
4. Collins, Jim. How the Mighty Fall: And Why Some Companies Never Give In (New York: HarperCollins, 2011), 4.
5. Patterson, Kerry, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian, and Al Switzler. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002).
6. Stone, Douglas, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (London: Penguin Books, 2010).
Chapter 5: Choose Positivity
1. Covey, Stephen, R. Seven Habits of Highly Successful People (Free Press: New York, 1989), 28.
2. Ibid, 17.
3. Dale Carnegie Training. “What Drives Employee Engagement and Why It Matters,” p. 6. https://www.dalecarnegie.com/assets/1/7/driveengagement_101612_wp.pdf.
4. Ibid.
5. Lencioni, Patrick. The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012), 47.
6. Camalier, Greg. Muscle Shoals. Netflix. Dallas: Magnolia Films, 2013.
Chapter 6: Think Critically
1. Cowherd, Colin, You Herd Me: I’ll Say It If Nobody Else Will (London: Penguin Press, 2013), 28.
2. http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2012/10/24/rodgers-professor-never-succeed/1654723/.
3. McChesney, Chris, Sean Covey, and Jim Huling. The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals (New York: Free Press, 2012), 30.
4. http://www1.hansgrohe.com/assets/at—de/1404_Hansgrohe_Select_ConsumerSurvey_EN.pdf.
5. Walvoord, John F. and Roy B. Zuck. The Bible Knowledge Commentary. Logos Bible Software (Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2002).
Chapter 7: Reject Passivity
1. Hylton, Jeremy. “The Merry Wives of Windsor.” Tech.MIT.edu. http://shakespeare.mit.edu/merry_wives/merry_wives.2.2.html.
2. Turner, Bonnie, Terry Turner, and Fred Wolf. Tommy Boy. DVD. Directed by Peter Segal. Los Angeles: Paramount Pictures, 1995.
Chapter 8: Challenging Up
1. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 3rd ed. (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003), 180.
2. Associated Press. “Brewers Jonathan Lucroy Rejects Trade to the Indians.” New York Times. July 31, 2016. https://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/08/01/sports/baseball/milwaukee-brewers-jonathan-lucroy-cleveland-indians.html.
3. Seinfeld. “The Strongbox.” Episode 170. Directed by Andy Ackerman. Written by Dan O’Keefe and Billy Kimball. NBC, February 5, 1998.
4. Barra, Alan. “How Curt Flood Changed Baseball and Killed His Career in the Process.” The Atlantic. July 12, 2011. https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2011/07/how-curt-flood-changed-baseball-and-killed-his-car
eer-in-the-process/241783/.
5. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 4th ed (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008), 48.
6. Widener, Chris. Leadership Rules: How to Become the Leader You Want to Be (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010), 156.
Chapter 9: Breaking Down Challenging Up
1. Cuddy, Amy. “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.” YouTube, October 1, 2012. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc.
2. Buckingham, Marcus. The One Thing You Need to Know. (New York: Free Press, 2005), 22.
3. Quote of the Day. http://www.qotd.org/search/single.html?qid=2016.
4. AZ Quotes. http://www.azquotes.com/quote/223506.
5. Adams, Scott. How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life (New York: Portfolio Publishing, 2013), 230.
6. Kouzes, James M. and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge, 3rd ed (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2003), 184.
7. Sinek, Simon. “Start with Why.” YouTube, September 29, 2013. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sioZd3AxmnE.
Chapter 10: Your Next Chapter Starts Today
1. Ramsey, Dave. EntreLeadership: 20 Years of Practical Business Wisdom from the Trenches (New York: Howard Books, 2011), 15.
2. Snyder, Benjamin. “Half of us Quit our Job Because of a Bad Boss.” Fortune. http://fortune.com/2015/04/02/quit-reasons/.
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