by Verna Clay
Sarah asked, "Have you told Maudie yet?"
"Not yet. But we will soon. She's going to be so excited. Five years is longer than we wanted between our children, but we're just thrilled to finally be pregnant."
Sarah said, "She'll be able to help with the baby. Hey, I forgot to mention that Sage is creating a special play and picnic area like Tooty and Miles have for their children. What perfect timing! Tooty's new baby and now this one."
"And mine," Dixie interjected.
The entire table went silent and every head jerked toward Dixie. She grinned. "We just got approved for adoption."
The women squealed and Tooty glanced at Monica. She was studying her fingernails. Suddenly, Tooty realized that she and her friends had been happily carrying on with no regard to how uncomfortable Monica must be feeling. Maybe she was wrong to have invited her to join them. She saw Molly looking at Monica and could read the same realization on her face.
Softly, Molly said, "Monica, do you know if your child is a boy or girl?"
Startled, Monica glanced up. "Ah, no, not yet. I just saw Doc Jones a couple of days ago. He's setting up an ultrasound."
Julie said, "Maybe we'll have them on the same day."
Monica smiled sadly. "Yeah. Maybe." Her face turned pale and she said, "If you'll excuse me, I have errands I need to attend to."
Before anyone could protest, she grabbed her sack and iced tea and rushed for the door.
Tooty glanced around at her friends. "I am such an idiot."
*
Monica jumped into the truck's cab, fumbled with the ignition, and then backed swiftly out of her parking space. I will not cry. I will not cry. A tear slid down her cheek.
Foregoing a stop at the pharmacy for prenatal vitamins, she drove back to Dirk's ranch. You can forget using the wi-fi at the coffee shop. You don't want to be stuck in a situation like that again. And geez, do I already look pregnant?
She decided to ask Dirk if she could use his internet to begin her job search. She needed to find employment, quick, and blow this town. The genuine friendship between those women and all their happy talk about husbands and children was more than she could bear. Her one tear turned into another, and then into such a flood she had to pull to the side of the road. Sobbing, she placed her hands on her stomach and said, "I'll be a good mother, I promise."
After her tears were spent, she reached in her purse for a tissue, blotted her eyes, moaned when she looked in the mirror at her bloated face, and then drove slowly back to her temporary home.
Pulling into the garage, she grabbed the candy, rushed into the kitchen to sneak it in the drawer, and then hoped she could get past Dirk and into her room before he saw her. Just as she walked into the dining room, he entered from the living room. Her eyes widened and then she glanced quickly at the ground, hoping he hadn't seen her face ravaged from crying. Too late. When she attempted to step around him he placed his hand on her shoulder.
"Honey, what's wrong. Why have you been crying?"
Shocked by his endearment, she lifted her eyes to his and against her will, they clouded with tears. With a little waving motion, she said, "I-I just want to go to my room."
Dirk did not release her shoulder. "You might feel better if you talked about it."
She huffed, "Talking will not change my situation."
"No, but it might give you a new perspective."
Pulling out of his grasp, she said, "Thanks for trying to help, but I really need to be alone right now."
Chapter 11: Woman-to-Woman
Tooty flopped onto the chair across from Miles after she'd put her two youngest boys down for a nap. He looked up from his desk where he'd been pounding away on his laptop.
"Were you able to get much written while I was gone?" she asked.
"Several pages, actually. Why so glum? Didn't you have fun with your friends?" He looked concerned before adding, "Are you feeling alright?"
Tooty drew circles on her belly. "I am such an idiot."
Miles waited for her to continue.
"I was at the coffee shop with the girlfriends when Monica came in. She looked so—I don't know—sad. So I asked her to join us. Actually, I forced her to join us. Of course, the gals were startled, but they were polite and friendly. Then Julie told us that she's pregnant and then Dixie said she and Alligator had received approval for an adoption…" her voice trailed.
"That all sounds wonderful. So, what's wrong?"
Tooty moved her gaze from Miles to the window. "While all this happy talk was going on, I looked at Monica and she had this expression that…" she paused, glanced back at Miles, "broke my heart. It was like she was the orphan peering through a window at a happy family and longing for something that wasn't hers. She looked so forlorn. And then she jumped up and left. Miles, it was like I was flaunting my happiness in her face. I feel terrible."
"Honey, you can't take Monica's woes on yourself. She created her situation."
"Did she really? Do we always have control over our circumstances?"
Miles didn't answer.
Tooty sighed. "I just can't let this go. I've got to do something to help her. If you'd seen the way she protected Tessa, you'd think of her in a whole new light. There's more to Monica than meets the eye."
"Sweetheart, what do you want to do? She was my lover for a long time. It's not like we can just infiltrate her life."
"I know. But that raises a question. Do we just ignore someone in need because of previous entanglements that might make us uncomfortable? Frankly, honey, I'm beginning to like her."
Miles wheeled his chair over to Tooty. "Seriously, if you have no problem helping her, I don't either. If you can handle being around her, I can too." He reached and stroked a finger down his wife's cheek.
*
Monica dropped Tessa and her best friend, Shauna, off at school. Tapping her fingers against the steering wheel to an upbeat tune on the local shit-kickin' station, she shook her head in astonishment. Almost a month in Cowville and she was taking turns transporting children to school, listening to country music, and reading recipe books like they were the daily newspaper. The refrigerator was organized, the bookcases were organized, Tessa's half painted wall was now painted, and they had poured over the Sears catalogue until finding the perfect bedroom furniture. All in all, her state of affairs since arriving was much improved. She had put the embarrassing coffee clique incident behind her and Dirk had hired a computer nerd to come to the house to set her up with internet access through his service company. She'd also found a Headhunter to distribute her extensive résumé with potential employers in New York. If she didn't receive any bites there, she would open her search to other areas.
Rubbing her belly that was filling out all her slacks, she said, "Little one, I'm going to have to splurge on some new clothes soon. If I still had money, we'd be shopping Saks this very minute." She giggled and parked beside a van in front of Dirk's house. I wonder who's here.
Entering through the front door her happy mood continued when she thought about the ultrasound she would have in a few weeks. She would finally know if her baby was a boy or girl. She stepped into the living room expecting to see one of Dirk's buddies but stopped abruptly. Tooty sat on the sofa across from Dirk. Quickly, Monica said, "Ah, hello, sorry to interrupt. I have things to do in the kitchen."
Tooty stood. "No, wait, Monica. I came to see you."
Dirk raised his recliner and grabbed his crutches. "If you ladies will excuse me, I have some phone calls to make." Monica watched him crutch toward his bedroom. She glanced back at Tooty and waited for her to speak.
Tooty patted the sofa. "Please sit down."
Cautiously, Monica perched on the edge of the couch.
Tooty looked nervous and Monica couldn't stand the suspense any longer. In a tone harsher than she had wanted, she said, "Tooty, please just say what's on your mind."
Tooty inhaled and slowly released her breath. "I want to apologize to you."
M
onica's eyes rounded. "Why? What do you have to apologize to me about?"
"Last week when I invited you to join me and my friends at the coffee shop, I made you uncomfortable. I feel bad about the way we were all prattling on. I could see in your eyes that you felt like an outsider and that wasn't my intention. I wanted–"
Monica interrupted, "I am an outsider and I don't want your pity." She stared past Tooty's shoulder. Finally, she shrugged and admitted, "If anyone should be apologizing, it's me. What I did to you in New York was unforgiveable and I'm truly sorry. It's just that I wanted Miles' love so badly that I…I did what I did." She looked back at Tooty. "But Miles never loved me. At least not the way a woman wants to be loved. The first time I saw you at the airport and he introduced us, I could see in his eyes how much you meant to him." Monica blew a breath and glanced at Tooty to see unshed tears shining in her eyes.
Tooty said, "I know this is crazy, but can we be friends?"
Monica blinked. "That is crazy. What would Miles say?"
"Oh, he's already given his blessing. He cares about you and only wants the best for you and the baby."
Monica studied her hands in her lap. "At this point in my life I've come to expect the unexpected. If you can handle being friends, I'm willing to give it a try." She paused. "Just don't get all mushy about it."
Tooty reached and grasped her hand. "No mush, I promise."
After their woman-to-woman talk, Tooty asked Monica to give the Wednesday morning coffee get-together one more try. Although she wanted to decline, the pleading in Tooty's eyes kept her from refusing. "Alright. But I can't come this Wednesday. I'm going on a field trip with Tessa's classroom to a museum in Cortez. But I'll come next week."
Tooty grinned and glanced at her watch. "Goodness, I have a doctor's appointment in half an hour. I don't want to be late. Miles is meeting me at Doc's and then we're taking Morgan and Austin to see a movie before Harris and Eli get home from school."
Monica shook her head. "How do you manage such a big family?"
Tooty's eye's twinkled. "Love makes anything possible. I really believe fate put Miles and me together. We're as mismatched as can be…but we complete each other."
After Tooty left, Monica thought about their surprising conversation. What does fate have in store for us, baby?
Chapter 12: Parade Princess
Monica and Tessa had enjoyed the field trip to Cortez so much that they had rehashed the whole experience while preparing a new mac and cheese recipe. Now, pulling it out of the oven, it looked perfect with bread crumbs toasted to a golden brown.
"It's too pretty to eat," exclaimed Tessa.
"It sure is, but that's not going to stop us," Monica giggled.
The doorbell rang and Tessa said, "I'll get it and be right back."
Shortly thereafter, Monica heard a woman's laughter and her curiosity was peaked. Walking through the dining room and into the living room she paused in the entrance. A curvy cowgirl was bending over Dirk's recliner. She said, "Howdy, Dirk," as she planted a light kiss on his lips. She ruffled Tessa's unruly curls. "Tessa, you're lookin' as cute as a bug's ear."
Cute as a bug's ear?
The woman saw Monica and grinned. "And howdy, Miz Newport. I heard you was workin' for Dirk." She winked, "Lucky you."
Dirk laughed. "Monica, I'd like you to meet Tawnie Trouble," he teased. "I mean Tawnie Trueblood. We've known each other for years. I even had to babysit her when she was a toddler. Believe me; a thirteen year old boy does not want to babysit a three year old girl. She gave me nothing but grief."
The woman was fabulously pretty and when she knelt beside Dirk's chair, running her hand up his arm, Monica felt a wave of jealousy. "I'm pleased to meet you. Please call me Monica."
"And you should call me Tawnie or Tawn." She moved her hand from Dirk's arm to smooth his hair. "I'm here to remind you about the parade this weekend. Please tell me you haven't forgotten."
Tessa looked happily at Monica and said, "Tawnie won this year's Parade Princess title and Daddy's going to ride on the float with her."
Dirk groaned, "No, I haven't forgotten. I tried to get Sage to take my place because of my busted leg, but he said there was no way. He said he'd make sure the float was specially designed to accommodate my cast. I tried to argue that he'd make a much better figurehead seeins' as how he's such a famous model, but that didn't work. I even tried to bribe him with free tickets to all the rodeos for the next year, but he wouldn't budge."
Tawnie joked, "Now Dirk, you're hurtin' my feelings. Besides, you're the one everyone wants to see."
Dirk quickly retorted, "You know, the cow pies are gettin' deep around here."
Tessa said, "Me and Monica just pulled a mac and cheese casserole out of the oven. Do you want to eat with us, Tawnie?"
"Does a mud puddle splash mud? I sure do." When Tawnie turned her attention back to Dirk, Monica got the impression that despite her lighthearted joking, she had deep feelings for him. Again, jealousy pricked her heart.
While Tessa set up the TV tables in the living room, Monica dished their casserole masterpiece onto plates and green salad into small bowls. Together, she and Tessa carried trays of food to the living room, along with glasses and a pitcher of tea.
The meal turned out to be entertaining as Monica quietly listened to the easy banter between Dirk and Tawnie.
Dirk said, "I must confess that I'll be getting this monstrosity of a cast off and it will be replaced with a short one tomorrow. Doc says I can even drive with the new one."
Tawnie brightened. "Wonderful! That means we can do some slow dancing at the hoedown after the parade."
Tessa said, "Daddy, I need to buy something to wear. I forgot about the party."
Dirk winked at his daughter. "You buy anything you want, honey."
"Monica can take me. Can she get something too?"
Inwardly, Monica cringed. She hated appearing to be a charity case in front of the vivacious Tawnie. Before she could beg off from attending the "hoedown," Dirk said, "That's a great idea." He teased, "Maybe we can get Monica into some jeans and cowgirl boots."
Tawnie said, "If you like, I could tag along and help."
Monica didn't like the turn in the conversation and started to decline attending the festivities, but Tessa said, "Oh, that'd be great! We can have a girls' day out!"
The look on Tessa's face made Monica gulp back her words. The child looked radiant.
*
The day before the parade, Monica found herself browsing Cindy's Second Chance Clothing store.
Tessa said, "I just love this store. Cindy finds the coolest clothes."
Tawnie said, "Oh, don't you know it. I got these boots here a couple of weeks ago." She lifted a foot so Tessa and Monica could appreciate the turquoise find.
Tessa practically drooled, "I just love 'em!"
Monica, not wanting to appear rude, said, "Very colorful."
Tessa grabbed Monica's hand. "Let's find you some jeans."
Twenty minutes later Monica was ensconced in a drapery enclosed dressing room with barely enough room to turn around and trying to zip into a pair of size eight Levis. It wasn't going to happen. Exasperated she said, "Tessa, I think I need a size ten."
"Yes, ma'am."
A few minutes later, Tessa handed three more pairs of pants to Monica. The last pair fit, but would be snug in the waist within a month. Next, Tessa handed her a paisley cowgirl shirt with pearl snaps. I can't do this. Yes, you can. I can't. You can. Monica waged a war in her mind as she snapped the pearls shut.
Tawnie was dressing in the room next to Monica's and stepped out at the same time as Monica. The beautiful cowgirl looked every bit the part of a parade princess in tight jeans and a frilly, off-the-shoulder top, and Monica felt like the gauche stepsister. Again, her mind screamed. You haven't been gauche since the age of fifteen. Straighten your shoulders. So what if you have a pooch. Pregnant women are beautiful. Placing a hand on her belly, she gave a silent apology to
her baby for being so vain.
Tessa exclaimed, "You both look beautiful!"
Tawnie grinned and glanced at Monica's feet. "Tessa, we need to find Monica a pair of boots."
Monica started to protest but Tessa was already gone.
The plastic chairs outside the dressing room were welcome relief and Monica sat in one. With an inward grin at the irony of the situation, she realized that as the shopping queen, she had been out-shopped.
Tawnie sat in the chair beside her. She started drawing circles on her knee and said, "I can tell Tessa really likes you. She's been kinda lost since her mom died."
Monica had the feeling Tawnie wanted to say more. She replied, "She's a sweet child and reminds me of myself at her age."
"Really?" Tawnie sounded surprised.
"Yes."
There was an awkward silence and then Tawnie said, "I was gonna stay with Dirk and Tessa while he healed, but then he hired you." Monica glanced quickly at the reigning princess as she continued, "But he explained that you were kinda down on your luck and needed a job."
"I don't know what to say, Tawnie."
She responded sadly, "You don't have to say anything. I've been crazy about Dirk since I was fifteen and that's been ten years now. Since Bonnie died I've done everything I can to make him realize I'm available, but he's either dense or ignoring me—I think he's ignoring me because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. It's just not in the cards for us."
Monica said, "I'm sorry."
Tawnie shrugged. "The reason I'm telling you this is because Dirk is a great guy and if you're interested, I'll not give you competition."
"Ah, no. No. I'm only here for two more months."
Tawnie stared at Monica. "That's what you say now. But Dirk and Tessa have a way of getting under your skin. In a wonderful way," she added.
Monica started to protest again, but Tessa rushed back carrying an armful of boots. "I guessed at your size. See if any of these fit."