A Little Beyond Hope

by Tracie Puckett

  What I wanted was for Bruno to listen to me. If they were there before the storm, they couldn’t have gone too far. They were close. We had to keep looking near the area where they found Grace.

  “We just saw them. They were right there a few hours ago. Wherever you found Grace, they’ll be there, too. They have to be.”

  His eyes darkened, and he looked down.

  “We’re doing everything we can,” he said. “We haven’t stopped scouring the district, but right now it’s not looking good that we’ll make much progress until morning. I’m going to take you back to the high school now, and you can get some rest. We need you to stay strong—for your sake and Luke’s. The longer his family stays missing, the more he’s going to need you. You have to stay strong for him.”

  ###

  The night was a long one. In the gymnasium of the school I’d once attended with my cousin, I watched as families shuffled around in the dark. In spite of the amount of people the school hosted after the storm, the room stayed eerily quiet for most of the night. There wasn’t a lot of whispering or movement. In the hours of the aftermath, it seemed as though the shock of the whole ordeal had yet to wear off. It was still sinking in for all of us. So much of what we’d once known and loved had vanished without warning.

  Once we arrived at the school, Matt stayed close to Kara. No matter where she went, he stayed at her side. She never once complained or let on that she wanted space, and even if she had, I’m not entirely sure he would’ve honored her request. The two of them finally took up a couple cots at the back end of the room, and they settled in for the night, and they did exactly as they were told—they rested. Once morning came, and the sun shed light on our broken and beaten town, Matt and Kara knew they’d be out among the devastation and searching for survivors. We all would.

  I laid on my cot, away from the rest of the group for the better part of the night. Staring up at the dark ceiling, my mind kept going back to the district. Just hours ago, hours before the storm hit, Matt and I had stood right there with Lonnie and Grace. Rebecca had popped her head out to comment on her father’s jokes. Derek was due to drop his daughter off with her grandparents like any normal evening. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and yet those moments were building up to the final minutes of normalcy for all of us.

  In a matter of hours, everything changed. Grace was injured—to what extent, I had no idea. I should’ve asked more questions. Lonnie, Rebecca, and Zoey were nowhere to be found. Derek was among the search team, searching frantically for his baby girl—the only family he had left … the only person in the world who meant everything to him.

  Slowly, my eyelids fell heavy, and sometime between all of my frantic and fearful thoughts, I managed to drift asleep.

  I woke up hours later to the soft stroke of fingers combing through my hair. My eyes fluttered open, pierced by the sunlight pouring through the open gym doors. I sat up at once.

  “It’s morning,” I said, looking to Luke. He knelt down on the floor next to my cot, somehow managing a faint smile. “Oh, my god. We have to get back out there. We have to—”

  “Matt and Kara are already out,” he said. “They’re on Main Street.”

  “Luke, is—”

  “We recovered a few families overnight,” he said, keeping his voice low. He was still dressed in the same outfit he’d worn yesterday, but his clothes were dirty and tattered. His skin was dark with dirt, and his eyes were growing heavier by the second. Still, he continued to fill me in on what he’d learned. “Most of families were in situations just like ours—safe, but trapped. We got them out. Brought them to here to the school.”

  I watched his eyes, watching the way they flickered with pain. That look alone told me that Luke hadn’t made it through the night without learning the things Bruno had told me back at the house. He knew his father, sister, and niece were missing. He knew that they were probably scared, hurt, or buried somewhere, praying that someone would find them soon.

  “What can I do?” I asked quietly, and Luke and I both understood that that question was meant only for him. For now, the only thing that mattered was being there for him.

  “I want you in the district, Julie,” he said. “Dad’s still missing. So is Zoey. If they’re found, I want you there. I want you on the scene. I was fortunate to be there when they found Becky this morning.”

  “Rebecca?” I asked, sitting straighter. “They found Rebecca? Is she—”

  “She’s in bad shape, Jules,” he said, his voice growing quieter than before. “She’s at the hospital in West Bridge—critical care unit. Multiple breaks and contusions. She’s in a coma, but alive. The next couple of days are crucial. It’s too soon to know anything more.”

  “Oh, god, Luke,” I said, feeling my eyes sting with tears. It was the exact opposite of the news I’d hoped to hear. Knowing that his family was out there among the rubble, I’d prepared myself for the fact that they weren’t going to walk away completely unharmed. But no one wanted to think that it would turn out so badly. “Luke, I’m so sorry.”

  He closed his eyes, fighting the tears he’d been struggling to hold back since we started talking about the recoveries. Somehow, though I’ll never quite figure out how, he’d managed not to shed a single tear.

  “I’m taking a break from the search,” he said, nodding over to Derek. My friend was sprawled out across a cot, his arms and legs hanging over each ledge. Mouth gaped open, he snored quietly from the place where he rested. “I’m assigned to make sure he stays right where he’s at.” I kept watching Derek, wondering how in the world he could bring himself to sleep when he knew that his baby girl was out there missing among the rubble. It was almost as if Luke read my mind, because he chuckled and shook his head. “We slipped him a light sedative,” he admitted. “We needed to knock him out for a few hours and get him away from the district. He’s becoming more and more frantic as the hours pass. His emotional state is not helping us accomplish anything.”

  I nodded. I looked back to Luke, wondering how his emotional constitution was holding up. Knowing his dad and niece were still out there, knowing the condition his sister was in, and the fate his step-mom so miraculously side-stepped, I didn’t know how he could remain so calm.

  “When you’re ready,” he said, throwing a glance around the gym. “Get some food and water in your system, and head out. There’s a police unit from the West Bridge department aiding the search in the district. Most of them knew your father well; I expect they’ll know you, too.” I nodded. “Find out how you can help them, and get to work. I’m counting on you, Jules.”

  “Are you going to rest?”

  “I have to,” he said, nodding. “The last time I tried to prove I was invincible, I ended up tied up, and you ended up on the wrong end of Conan Milton’s gun.” I closed my eyes, remembering that moment all too well. “I won’t be useful to this search or to my team without energy. Charlie and Bruno were at it all night, and they’re finally winding down.”

  “Okay,” I nodded. “Take my cot. I’ll head out.”

  He handed me a walkie-talkie. “Stay on this channel. The emergency personnel are listening and on-guard at all times. If you see or hear anything, call for back up. Stay safe.”

  And with that, Luke kissed me. “I love you.”

  “I love you,” I said. “Try to sleep.”

  Chapter Seven

  “Okay.” The familiar voice behind me sounded unusually optimistic. I turned to watch my cousin approach. I hadn’t seen him since he’d gone to sleep in the high school gym last night, and he’d just shown up to the district looking as filthy and tired as Luke had appeared this morning when he’d woken me up. “I have good news.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d take good news in just about any form I could get it—no matter how big or little, because I hadn’t had a single shred of anything good to report all morning.

  My search in the district had gone on for hours and hadn’t turned up a single thing. I cou
ldn’t make heads or tails of what was going on around us. The ground I walked on, the busted cement and the towers of debris … it was hard to stomach that all of that wreckage had once comprised the district I’d grown to know and love.

  My search started early that morning, and I began looking in the area where the diner once stood—the place I’d often grabbed a bite with Luke, the very place I’d once teamed up with Kara to spy on our boyfriends, and even the place I’d once confronted Lonnie Reibeck in a heated argument. The diner was the place I’d finally snapped, lost my cool, and struck him. And I spent many quiet hours locked up in a holding cell down at the Oakland Police Department for taking my frustration out on Lonnie’s face.

  “Good news?” I asked, trying to find my voice, but my mind was still stuck in the past. It felt so long ago, and the fact that the diner was completely gone made it feel like an eternity longer. The district was wiped away. Lonnie was missing. It amazed me how much life had changed in only a matter of mere seconds.

  “Yeah,” Matt said, slushing through the debris and coming up behind me. “Another recovery. Kara’s parents are aiding the search on Main Street. They found an elderly couple trapped in their storm shelter.”

  “Safe?” I asked.

  “Not a scratch on them.”

  Matt’s face glowed beneath the dirt, and the smile he wore was all the proof I needed that he was starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t know how, though. I was still running on very little hope. The news he’d just shared was undoubtedly the best report I’d heard since morning, but it was only one happy moment lost in a sea of uncertainty. Our search had gone on for hours already, and it didn’t matter how much we called out, how much we moved and shifted, or where we looked, we weren’t having any success. Even with the gift of daylight, we weren’t assigned with the easiest task.

  Since joining us in the district, Matt and I paired up as a team, walking and scouring the area like the many before us had. And just like Luke had promised, we were among many men of the West Bridge Police Department—volunteers who’d come out to aid in our search for survivors. Most of the uniformed officers of the WBPD were polite and cordial, giving me brief hugs and asking how I’d been since moving to Oakland. Some seemed as if they didn’t know what to say, so they didn’t bother approaching at all. I understood that. Since losing Dad in the manner in which we did, it was hard for anyone to really know what to say. And given the fact that yet another catastrophe had brought us all together, it didn’t make for the most exciting reunion.

  “I stopped by the school on my way,” Matt said, walking alongside me as we focused our attention on the ground. “The generators are up and running in the cafeteria. Now that they have the capabilities to churn out warm meals, they need help with cooks and servers. I think I’d be more useful there.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, hoping that assurance was what he’d wanted from me. “I think so, too.”

  He didn’t say anything; I thought it might’ve been his subtle way of opening up the conversation, to letting me a little closer to his vulnerabilities than he’d ever let me.

  “Just think,” I said. “If you’d never dropped out of school, you wouldn’t have been home when the tornado struck.”

  “Yeah, but I was,” he said. “And I’m glad I was. I can help here.” He fell silent again, and we kept crunching along the walk, listening intently for any sound of struggle around us or beneath our feet. “Something happens like this,” he said, shaking his head. “A natural disaster comes through and wipes away everything you’ve ever known … and it just kinda puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You think your life is miserable,” he said, and I understood right away that he wasn’t directing that statement at me at all. It was his metaphorical you. Or maybe even a reference to himself. “You go through life thinking you’re the lowest of the low, that you haven’t anything left to live for. It’s hard to sleep, but being awake is harder than being asleep ever was. Just functioning, trying to get through a day … it almost feels impossible.”

  “Is that how you’ve felt?”

  “For a long time, yeah,” he admitted. “But then something like this happens, and life as you know it implodes. People are hurt, and lives are lost. People we love are suddenly missing without a trace. It makes you realize your problems were never really problems at all. It could always be so much worse.”

  I nodded. I understood exactly what he meant. Just yesterday I’d spent the entire day complaining about the wedding Luke insisted we postpone. Just before Charlie and Bruno had saved us from the basement, Luke and I had been in the middle of a discussion about lies and honesty. Shortly before that, Kara had spilled her heart to Luke about the mistakes she’d made and the new life she was trying to start for herself. Matt had seemingly cried himself to sleep over the life he’d given up.

  And none of that seemed so important anymore. No more wedding plans? Who cared? So what if Luke told a little white lie to spare my feelings? Okay, so Kara got pregnant, gave up her baby, and failed to give Matt any say in a major life decision. Matt quit school, gave up his dream, and decided to live out the rest of his days as nothing more than a depressed and incomplete shell of his former self. And I stomped around pretending like I had some kind of right to his personal business … when I didn’t have any right at all.

  How could any of that matter now? When given the perspective, I knew my cousin was right. Those things seemed so small, so insignificant.

  “I have to get back to the school and help,” Matt said, cornering me a look. “We need to utilize our skills in the best areas possible, and I’m useless out here. I need to get to that kitchen. I have families to feed.”

  I nodded. “I’m proud of you,” I said, happy that my cousin had finally realized what he needed to do. Maybe it wasn’t long-term. Maybe his stint in the kitchen wouldn’t last long at all. Or maybe a disaster like this had been the eye-opener he’d needed to give him a good shove back in the right direction. I hated that it took a terrible catastrophe to put his life back on track, but for now, at least he knew he couldn’t run. He was stepping up.

  We were all stepping up. We were in this fight together.

  ###

  “He’s still at it, then?”

  “Yup.” I ran my fingers back through my hair, still watching the ground. My assignment had changed the moment Luke went back on duty. He’d brought me along with him, leaving the rest of our group back at the school. Matt had taken up a position in the kitchen, helping to create meals for the homeless families. Kara had taken the opportunity to grab dinner and rest, but she swore she’d come back to the search as soon as she’d re-energized. Derek had been banned from the district search, and Charlie and Bruno were keeping him busy down at the school with volunteer work, while they, too, rested.

  I still kept my eyes on the ground, searching and scanning. I preferred my sight aimed low, because I couldn’t lift my head; I couldn’t look up and see the devastation one more time. I’d been looking at it all day, and it was still sickening and shocking every time I saw it again. It was bad enough the storm had blown through and ripped our town apart, but the destruction and casualties kept piling up. It seemed there was no end in sight. Last I’d heard, we were looking at thirty injuries, four deaths, and numerous people still unaccounted for.

  Down the road, the framing of my uncle Charlie’s home still stood, but much of the exterior was blown away and battered by the tornadic winds. It left a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I passed it. The house I’d once called home with my uncle and cousin was nothing more than a pile of busted framework, scattered and filled with our lifetime of mementos and garbage from the streets. It was a miracle that it hadn’t caved in on us, and it’d be yet another miracle if we ever salvaged half of what we’d once owned.

  And if I thought Uncle Charlie’s house looked hopeless, then I couldn’t begin to
describe what I found on Silhouette Drive. Luke and I had ventured down the road during my lunch break in hopes of finding Elvis, but the house I’d shared with him hadn’t survived the storm at all; the entire structure was left flattened to the ground. Shock set in long before the realization that Elvis was probably gone forever—buried or swept away, we’d be lucky if we ever found out for sure. I’d reasoned with myself that he’d simply gotten out and ran away. For now, that’s all I’d accept. He’d run way.

  The tornado had left Oakland in shambles, and my heart ached to see it all undone. We could rebuild houses; we could salvage most of the still-standing structures. With some time, we could clean the place up, make it look new again. We could restore our town back to its former beauty, and no one would ever know the devastation that occurred there.

  What we couldn’t do was give up the search. Lives weren’t replaceable, and people I loved were missing—buried beneath rubble, scared, and hungry. The clock was ticking. Time was running out. They were still alive. They had to be; I couldn’t allow any other option to cross my mind. I chose to believe they were holding on. I chose to believe, in spite of the odds, that they were strong, and that they’d kept their faith in us.

  There was no telling where any one of them could’ve ended up. They could’ve been anywhere. They could’ve been tossed, buried … hurt.

  I couldn’t understand it. We’d scoured for hours. It didn’t make any sense. Where were they? Why weren’t we finding them?

  Another tear slid down my cheek as I finally looked up again, avoiding the scenery around me and looking to my cousin.

  “Has he eaten anything?”

  “I don’t know,” I answered, and we both kept our voices low.