“No, but I need to get there right away. The man on the phone said Todd might need surgery.”
I picked up my keys. “Let’s go,” I said.
Despair was etched on Ro’s face, not knowing how bad it was.
The drive to the hospital was silent. I held Ro’s hand, but she kept her eyes closed, no doubt praying. I was praying, too. I didn’t want her to go through what I had been through. I wanted her to have a long life with Todd.
When we arrived, Todd was already in surgery. He had been hit with scraps of metal from an explosion on the rig. His deep lacerations were a concern, not knowing if any of his organs had been damaged.
All we could do was wait for the doctor to come out when he finished surgery. It could be hours, but it didn’t matter how long it took, I was going to be there for her.
“I know you’re thinking the worst, but try not to borrow trouble,” I told Ro who sat next to me with her eyes downcast.
“Oh God, Lindy. I’m not as strong as you. If he—”
“He’s not going to die,” I said, catching my breath so I wouldn’t cry. I swallowed hard before going on. “We have to believe he’s going to be all right. I’m not leaving your side until we know. I promise.”
Ro squeezed my hand and we spent the rest of our time in silence, sending up prayers, hoping for the best.
Chapter 5: Trace
San Diego, CA
Rehearsal day. I was doing everything in my power to avoid everyone I knew, which was harder than I thought it would be. I communicated through text messages only. My hands might pay the price, but no one was telling me I sounded funny or asking me what was wrong. Managing to stay out of the way, I let my mom and sisters deal with the wedding rehearsal stuff, along with Angelina and her mom. Being able to keep my interaction to a minimum was a huge relief.
Arriving at the massage I had scheduled for myself before the dinner, beads of sweat surfaced on my neck and forehead. Hopefully, the massage would relax me enough to make it through this charade. When my regular girl, Mylee, came in I knew I was in good hands.
“Mr. Michaels, it’s good to see you. Are you excited about your wedding?” she asked so sweetly.
“To be honest, I’m a little stressed, Mylee.”
“Okay, where do you feel the most tension?”
“Neck, shoulders.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll work the tension out.”
That’s what I was counting on. Mylee was an excellent masseur and I needed to be relaxed. She got started and within minutes, I was drifting, not thinking about anything. Anytime a bad thought came to me, I pushed it away and concentrated on Mylee working on my muscles. If only life were this simple all the time.
At the end of the massage Mylee said, “Whatever is troubling you, make sure you think long and hard before you react.”
“How do you know something is troubling me?”
“I could feel the stress coming from your body. You’re a good man, Mr. Michaels. You don’t deserve whatever is happening.”
“Thanks, Mylee. I appreciate that.”
“You’re welcome.”
I didn’t have long before I had to meet Angelina at the church and go through the motions of practicing our wedding ceremony. What a waste of time, having to stand there saying I do, when I wouldn’t be. I just hoped I could be as good as she was at keeping up this farce. She was clearly a master and had been fooling me for a long time. I had no idea how long and I probably never would. Part of me still wanted to deny this whole thing away and try to come up with a reasonable explanation, but I saw it with my own eyes and recorded it with my own phone. If someone had told me this, I’m not sure I would have believed them. Angelina was that good of an actress. When had she stopped loving me? I sure as hell have stopped loving her.
Pastor Lewis met us up at the altar. He began going over the nuances of the ceremony and each of our parts. I had to admit I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying because I was seething inside. Holding Angelina’s hands and looking into her eyes as Pastor Lewis told us what to do was extremely difficult, but necessary. That action alone wiped out most of the good the massage had done for me. I kept repeating to myself to relax my face. Stay calm. Don’t show how pissed off you are.
Thankfully, we had driven to the rehearsal separately, so I didn’t have the awkwardness of taking Angelina home afterward. Having dinner together and acting like I was excited to get married was almost more than I thought I could accomplish. I had contemplated more than once aborting my plan and calling things off tonight. But I was almost at the goal line, so I decided to stay the course. What they had done had pushed me too far and I wasn’t going to let them off the hook.
“I can’t believe our day has finally come,” Angelina said with a giddy smile as we walked from the ballroom to the restaurant at the hotel.
“Neither can I,” I managed. It was such a beautiful place to get married. All of it seemed like an enormous waste. My heart rate elevated just being with her, talking about getting married.
“Is everything okay? You don’t seem like yourself.”
“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” I said, keeping my voice steady. “I’m feeling like I’m coming down with something. I probably just need to take it easy.” I kissed her on the forehead to sell my lie.
Angelina felt my forehead before we sat at the table for our rehearsal dinner. “You don’t feel like you have a fever. We’ll just have to make it an early night.”
“Yeah, I think that would be best.” Would Derrick be visiting her tonight? Fucking hell. Why?
Our family and closest friends began filling the chairs around us and the chatter about the big day began. Strangely, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, floating above, watching myself being so isolated even though I was completely surrounded. I nodded and answered at the appropriate moments, but it was all a bunch of white noise. Faking it was hard. I wasn’t into it and just wanted out of there.
My mom put her hand on my shoulder when I didn’t respond to her question.
“Honey, did you hear me?”
“Ah…no, Mom. What is it?”
“Are you feeling okay? You’re looking awfully pale.”
“I think I must have some sort of bug,” I said, hating that I was lying to my mother, something I hadn’t anticipated doing. A definite downside to my plan.
My mom felt my face. “You are a little clammy,” she said. “Are you having any last-minute jitters?” she asked with so much compassion on her face I almost told her everything on the spot. If there was anyone in this world I could count on, it was her. She had always been in my corner.
“You know me so well, Mom. I’m sure it’s to be expected.”
“I think everyone gets a little nervous, honey.” She leaned in close to me so only I could hear her. “You don’t have to get married if you’re not sure. All I want is for you to be happy.”
Her words stabbed at my heart. Happy. I was so not happy and there was no way in hell I was getting married. “Don’t worry, Mom. Everything is going to be just fine.”
“Oh, honey. That’s what I should be saying to you.”
I put my arm around my mom and pulled her in to the side of my body. She wrapped her free arm around me. It was the only solace I had the entire evening. The part that sucked was my mom would be in the dark tomorrow and would be experiencing things as they unveiled. I dreaded that and knew it wouldn’t be a good moment for her. Nor a proud moment for me. I was tempted to tell her not to come tomorrow to save her the pain, but then I’d have to reveal what was going on. Even though I knew she would be hurt and disappointed, I didn’t change my mind.
Ten o’clock rolled around and I needed to get out of there. The evening had been too much, but tomorrow would be worse. I leaned over to Angelina, who had been content to chat with other people the entire evening, and whispered, “I’m ready to leave. Feel free to stay if you want to have more time with your family and friends.”
I slid my chair back and stood. “We’re going to bid you all good night since our big day is tomorrow. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Our family and friends wished us well. Derrick walked us out, no doubt to follow Angelina home. In his world, being with her would become more difficult after we were married. I’d let him stew over that for one more night. She’d be all his in less than twenty-four hours. I’d gladly relinquish her. As far as I could tell, they deserved each other.
I kissed Angelina good night on the cheek and briskly walked to my car. The tightness in my chest subsided when I started the car, knowing I was driving away from this twisted situation.
Chapter 6: Lindy
Lafayette, LA
Dreaming that I was falling, my head suddenly fell forward and I was awake. Ro and I had fallen asleep sometime during the night, waiting for word about her husband. Glancing at my watch, it was barely six and we should have heard something by now. I sat up straight as the young doctor approached.
“I’m Dr. Stevens. I’m here to talk with Mrs. Broussard.”
“I’m Lindy and this is Ro,” I said, gently rubbing Ro’s arm to wake her. Once I had her attention I said, “Ro is Todd’s wife.”
Dr. Stevens shook both our hands. “I apologize I couldn’t get an update to you sooner.”
“How is he, Doctor?” Ro asked, her bloodshot eyes looking like they were about to burst into tears.
“Your husband is going to be fine. We had to repair several punctured organs, but we stopped the internal bleeding. Recovery time should be about four weeks. He just needs a lot of rest and TLC.”
Ro stood up and hugged the doctor. “Thank you, Dr. Stevens. When can I see him?”
“You can see him now if you like, but he probably won’t be waking up for a while.”
Ro followed the doctor and I waited. It was better if she went in to see him on her own. Plus, I couldn’t take seeing another person I cared about in a hospital bed. I had spent way too much time here when Dane became ill. One day he was my strong, handsome husband and it seemed like overnight the cancer robbed him of everything. From diagnosis to death had only been six weeks. Devastating. He’d only been twenty-eight and had had to prepare to die. Neither of us knew where to start, but Dane was level-headed.
“Baby, we have to decide on funeral arrangements. Now, I’ve decided I want to be cremated. I hope you’re okay with that.”
Staring back at my husband I said, “No, I’m not. I’m not okay with any of this. You can’t…you’re too young…we have so much to live for. You’re the love of my life and I can’t say goodbye to you. I can’t lose you. Please…please don’t die.”
“Baby, we have to have faith that God knows what He’s doing. He has a plan and everything is going to be okay.”
“Maybe there’s a mistake. Maybe the doctors got it wrong and God is going to heal you. He has to.”
Dane looked like I was ripping his heart out. “We just have to trust. Promise me you won’t let this tear your faith apart.”
“I promise,” I said as I began shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. My poor husband was facing death and I was making it about me. I didn’t want to live my life without him.
Doing what he always did, he pulled my body into his and comforted me. “Baby, I’m the luckiest man to ever walk this earth. Having you in my life for the last fourteen years and making you my bride has made my life worthwhile. Every good thing about me is because of you. I had to be the best man possible to deserve you. Now, we have to accept the cards we’ve been dealt and spend our last moments together happy.”
“I know you’re right, but I want more than just the fourteen years we’ve been given. I want sixty more with children and grandchildren. This isn’t fair.”
“Life isn’t fair, my sweetheart. We both know that all too well. But we have to focus on the fact we were brought together from terrible circumstances and we have been blessed.”
I placed my hand on Dane’s rugged face. “We have been. I’m the woman I am today because of you. You saved me when I first got there…to the foster home. I knew in that moment you would be the most important person in my life. I love you so much.”
Dane kissed me. “Let’s go home. I don’t want to be here. I just want us to enjoy our time together.”
I nodded and gathered his belongings so we could do just that.
Remembering this always brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know how I was ever going to get over him and move on with my life. Sure, spreading his ashes was a start, but somehow I doubted I would ever truly let him go.
Ro came out, looking white as a sheet. “How is he?” I asked.
“He’s…he’s okay. It could have been much worse. It’s going to take a while for him to recover. I’m not going to be able to go with you to Maui to spread Dane’s ashes. I need to be home for Todd. I’m so sorry.”
It hadn’t occurred to me that this could happen. Of course her husband needed her. Being here in this place had turned my brain to mush. We were supposed to leave for Maui in less than forty-eight hours. “I completely understand. Of course your husband comes first.”
“I just feel so bad, leaving you in a lurch like this.”
“No, Ro. It’s fine. I can handle this. I can handle this.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. Either way, I was going to Maui to have what they call closure. Canceling or postponing was out of the question. The course had been set and I wasn’t deviating from the plan now. I was hoping taking this step would help me to begin moving on, getting my life back. Plus, I had worked double shifts, saving up to fulfill Dane’s final wish. Nothing would stop me from doing the last thing my husband had asked of me. Nothing.
Chapter 7: Trace
San Diego, CA
Morning was upon me after tossing and turning all night. It wasn’t every day all of my family and friends gathered together. They thought they were going to a celebration, not a day I would ruin. Well, Angelina and Derrick actually ruined it. I knew everyone would understand eventually, but most of them probably wouldn’t today. That was something I had to accept…shock at what was happening.
After showering, shaving, and having breakfast, I grabbed my bag and began my drive to the hotel where our life together as husband and wife was supposed to begin. All my muscles tightened as I turned onto the street. Upon arriving, I sat in my car, not wanting to get out. I was nauseous and if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I had the flu. All of this was taking a toll on my body.
The thought of spending time with Derrick made me sick to my stomach, but it couldn’t be avoided since he was the best man. I couldn’t fire him from that job any more than I could fire him from the company we owned together. My hands were clenched around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white just thinking about having to see them both at work every day. There would be no escaping it and there was no way in hell I was going to leave my own company because of them.
Shit. We came up with the idea for the company our senior year of college. We were just two business majors with a huge desire to help people. Save lives. Our company was advancing technology to do just that. Our 3D printers were creating organs. It was cutting-edge and Derrick and I had come up with doing this one night after doing research on organ donation. We both had personal reasons for being interested in the subject matter. Now that seemed like a lifetime ago. How was I going to go on working with him? With both of them?
It was a toss-up as to who was more disgusting to me. They both made me sick. My two brother-in-laws, Stuart and Phillip, would be with us so at least they would be a buffer between Derrick and me.
The wedding started at two o’clock, but I had some coordinating to do with the wedding planner and I didn’t want anyone to see me talking with her. Fortunately, sh
e was very customer service oriented, so I knew she would do whatever I asked.
I found her in the room set up for our ceremony. Looking around, I could see all the work the women in my life had put into making this day happen. Angelina, her mom, my mom, and sisters had outdone themselves.
“Trace, you’re here early,” Leslie said, pulling me out of my reverie. “You know I have everything under control. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” Leslie was so reassuring and I was counting on her professionalism to make this work.
“Of course. I came early because I have a special request for the wedding and I wanted to ask you now so you’d have enough time.”
“Sure, anything you want.”
I proceeded to tell Leslie what I needed her to do. She didn’t ever blink an eyelash at me. She thought I was doing something sweet for Angelina and gushed at the chance to make it happen. Okay, now my stomach felt twisted with guilt for bringing her into my plan unknowingly. Using her this way did go against my better judgment, but I had no choice. Without her…. I needed Leslie.
Making my way to the room reserved for me to get ready, I had to push what was going to happen out of my mind. I had put an open safety pin in my pocket to stick myself with every time I felt like causing Derrick bodily harm. It was a good distraction technique. In a couple of hours, everything would be out in the open and I wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. I sighed loudly. All of this was unimaginable to me.
Time moved at a glacial pace and my anxiety level spiked with each passing second, knowing Derrick would be arriving any moment to do his best man duties. I could do this. I poured myself a drink and sipped it, waiting. Waiting to see his stupid face. A face I wanted to punch until it was black and blue for his betrayal. Shit. I never thought I would feel this way about Derrick. He had cut me so deep.
A knock came at the door. I begrudgingly opened it, thinking it was Derrick, but it was my sister, Kristie.
“Hey,” she said, walking past me. I saw your car in the parking lot, so I thought I’d come see you. It’s been so busy lately, we haven’t had a chance to hang out.”
The Only One for Her Page 3