Rising From the Dust

by Adrianna M Scovill

“Not about you, Gabe, they complained about me. And with good reason. We all know you saved my ass and that I never should’ve been there in the first place. But, uh, Doug seems to think you were, I don’t know, grandstanding or something, and that’s why it was all out of hand, because you interfered. I told him that wasn’t true but you know he doesn’t listen.”

  Gabriel nodded. He had an unpleasant suspicion that he knew where this was headed, and hadn’t his students asked him about such a scenario?

  “He wants me to take over the Drama Club,” Arnie said, looking and sounding uncomfortable. “He says, effective starting next week to give you time to wrap up loose ends with the students, whatever the fuck that means. Like you haven’t been in charge of the whole Drama department for years.” He sighed, running a hand through his thinning hair. “Then he says he’ll reevaluate at the end of the semester, which is of course after the Christmas pageant and the talent show and most of the major fucking…” He trailed off, shaking his head and looking at Gabriel. “I’m the worst person he could pick. Literally any other teacher would be better, for starters.”

  “That’s not true, you’re a good teacher,” Gabriel said. He felt ill. He’d meant what he said—if he had to go to the superintendent or the school board, he would, but the very idea of having the Drama Club taken away from him made his stomach hurt.

  “More importantly,” Arnie continued, “we all know that no one but you should be teaching it—running it. If you call Superintendent Rodgers, I’ll back you up. It’s just pettiness because you confront him about his bullshit discipline. He doesn’t have as much authority as he likes to think. But…” Arnie shifted his feet and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You know I don’t have tenure, yet,” he said. “I’m tired of moving from school to school, I don’t want to lose this job. Especially with…well, anyway,” he said, and Gabriel knew that Arnie didn’t want to mention Natalie as a reason for his desire to stay in the district. “I’ll do what you think is best. I’ll refuse the post—”

  “No, don’t do that,” Gabriel said. “Let’s take a beat and see what happens—see if he’s bluffing, first of all, and if not, I’ll figure out what I want to do. I certainly don’t want you or any of the other staff sticking your necks out. I’ll talk to the students and give them a heads-up, and we’ll see where we are at the start of next week. In the short term, I know they’ll be in good hands with you, and they can help you figure things out or you can ask me any time. I appreciate you coming to me before Sanderson does.”

  “Of course,” Arnie said. He regarded Gabriel for a moment. “You seem pretty calm,” he observed. “Calmer than I would be.”

  “Losing the Drama Club would be like losing a part of myself,” Gabriel admitted. “But panicking won’t do anyone any good. We’ll figure it out.”

  “It doesn’t even make any sense,” Arnie blurted, pulling his hands from his pockets to spread his arms in agitation. “I don’t have time—I have basketball, I have—He wants the assistant coach to take over practices so I can help kids learn lines to a play I’ve never even read.”

  Gabriel glanced down as his phone vibrated again. “I’ll help you if it comes down to that,” he said, looking back at Arnie. “He can’t complain about what he doesn’t know. It’ll be okay, Arn.”

  The gym teacher sighed. “Well, I’m sorry, anyway. About all of it.”

  Gabriel nodded. “I know. It’s not your fault.”

  “I’ll leave you alone,” Arnie said. “I wanted to let you know as soon as he told me.”

  “Thanks,” Gabriel answered.

  As soon as he was alone, Gabriel shoved his lunch back into its bag. He’d lost any desire to eat. “Fuck,” he muttered, putting his hands over his face and scrubbing. He drew a deep breath, trying to calm the churning uneasiness in his stomach. He’d told Arnie it wouldn’t do any good to panic, and that was true. One way or another, things would work out. If, after exhausting his options, Gabriel was no longer allowed to teach the drama students, he would still fight to make sure they had the best teacher and resources available to them. That’s what really mattered.

  He picked up his phone and unlocked it.

  I hope you’re having a great lunch in an even better day, Jack had written, and Gabriel smiled in spite of his nausea.

  Heard this and thought of you. Always will now, I guess ;) This second text had a link to John Fogerty’s “Centerfield,” and Gabriel laughed, once more leaning back in his chair. Put me in, coach, he thought.

  I never did get that dance, Gabriel wrote.

  You never did GIVE that dance, Jack responded quickly. Everything ok?

  Gabriel knew he was asking because of the delay in his response. I’m fine, he answered. After he’d sent the text, it occurred to him that he’d done the same thing the night they’d met: answered I’m fine to a question about everything.

  Are you alone?

  Gabriel glanced at the closed door and answered: Yes

  Within ten seconds, his phone was vibrating with an incoming call, and Jack’s face was on the screen. Gabriel was tempted to unmute the cell so he could hear the Elvis ringtone, but he answered the phone instead.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi,” Jack answered, and just the sound of his voice was enough to soothe some of Gabriel’s nerves. “So, what’s up?”

  Gabriel laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t even know how to answer that right now,” he said. He looked up at the sound of another knock on his door, and this time it was Natalie’s face in the window. He motioned for her to enter. “I really am fine, though,” he told Jack. “Or I will be.”

  “You’re better than fine. Did I forget to tell you how cute you are today?”

  Smiling, Gabriel said, “You haven’t seen me today.”

  “Hmm. Must’ve been a daydream,” Jack murmured in his ear, and Gabriel glanced up at Natalie as she stopped before his desk. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

  “Uh, yeah,” Gabriel said. Looking at Natalie’s face, he knew that she knew, already. He supposed he couldn’t blame Arnie for going to her as soon as he’d told Gabriel. “Sanderson’s trying to give the Drama Club to another teacher. I don’t know, it’s preliminary, he hasn’t told me directly yet.”

  “He’s the principal, he can’t actually do that, can he? Isn’t it the superintendent’s job?” Jack asked.

  “Sort of a gray area,” Gabriel answered. “The Drama Club is technically considered extra-curricular, and he has a fair amount of discretionary control. If I have to, I’ll go to Rodgers or the board, but in the meantime, I’m going to sit back a bit and see what happens. I haven’t told Alex or the rest of the students yet, I just found out.”

  “Shit, Gabe, I’m sorry,” Jack said.

  “Want me to go?” Natalie whispered, pointing toward the door. Gabriel shook his head and watched as she seated herself on the corner of his desk.

  “It’ll work out,” Gabriel said.

  “It means a lot to you,” Jack answered. “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. Arrest the principal or something?”

  Gabriel laughed. “Thanks for the offer,” he said. “I’ve gotta go, Jack. Call me later if you get bored on patrol.”

  “Can I call if I just wanna hear your voice?”

  “Sure,” Gabriel said with a smile. “Because I’m always happy to hear yours. Thanks for calling, you made me feel better.”

  “That’s what I’m here for,” Jack answered. “Call or text if you need me.”

  After he’d ended the call, Gabriel met Natalie’s eyes and sighed. “It’s not really a surprise,” he said with a half-shrug. “I didn’t think he’d try something in the middle of a period, though.”

  “We’re going to fight this,” Natalie said. “All of us. We’ll strike if we have to.”

  Gabriel laughed softly. “Let’s not go overboard, here,” he said. “We’ll take it a step at a time. I told Arnie to
do whatever Sanderson wants, for now. You know that he’ll fight dirty. Probably say I’m unfit because of Mom’s passing, and us separating, and—”

  “We’ll fight back,” she reiterated.

  He nodded.

  “On a different note,” she said, suddenly smiling, “seeing you on the phone with him—Jack—was interesting.”

  He grimaced. “Interesting?” he asked.

  “Cute,” she said. “You’re happy right now, honey, or at least on your way to being happy. Don’t let that prick ruin it, okay? Sanderson is an ass, but he’s temporary. There’s no way he’ll last at this school, and he certainly won’t outlast you. If you’re worried about him finding out about you and Jack and using it against you…” She trailed off, because she could see that the concern had crossed his mind.

  “You know what that club means to me,” he said quietly. “But there are a lot of things and people to consider. You and Arnie, and Jack—and Alex.”

  “Don’t fall back into sacrificing your own happiness—”

  “Natty,” he sighed, leaning forward to cover her hand on the desk. “I’m not going to roll over for Sanderson. I’m just not going to rush into anything. It’ll be alright, I promise.”

  “Okay,” she said. She bent toward him and kissed his forehead. “Just know I’ve got your back.”

  “I always know that,” he answered with a smile. “I’ve had a lot of people offering to go to bat for me in the span of a single lunch break,” he added, laughing.

  “That’s because everyone loves you,” she told him, getting to her feet. She grinned, and said, “And everyone hates Sanderson.”

  ***

  “Come on, everyone, settle down for a minute, I need to talk to you,” Gabriel said. He waited as Jordan released Bucky from a headlock, and Becca got off her phone. The students gathered around, seating themselves on the floor in front of Gabriel’s folding chair. He looked around at their faces, reminding himself that this was only temporary.

  Even so, it hurt, and he knew it was going to hurt them, too. It was his job to make the transition as easy on them as possible.

  “I spoke to Mr. Sanderson this afternoon,” he said, and he saw the kids exchanging uneasy glances. “Starting Monday, Mr. Shafer is going to be taking over the club for…the time being.”

  “You’re quitting us?” Eliza asked.

  Before Gabriel could answer, Jordan said, “Of course not. This is Sanderson’s idea, I bet.”

  “He can’t do this,” Alex said. “We don’t want Mr. Shafer—”

  Gabriel held up a hand. “I have absolute faith that you, that all of you, will treat Mr. Shafer with nothing but respect and help him learn the ropes around here. Together, we can all make this work, and I know—”

  “He can’t fire you—You said he can’t fire you,” Becca said.

  “I’m not being fired,” Gabriel answered. “You’ll see me every day. You can come to me with any questions or concerns, as always. At the end of the period, there’ll be an assessment—”

  “Why aren’t you fighting this?” Eliza asked, and there was a ripple of agreement among the students.

  “He is—He will,” Alex said. He looked at Gabriel. “Right?” he asked.

  “I’ve decided to wait until the end of the period,” Gabriel said quietly, “and see where—”

  “See if you want to come back to us?” Eliza asked. “See if you’re better off without us?”

  “Ms. Kaye, I understand that you’re upset,” Gabriel said. “But I promise you, it’ll be alright.”

  “You said you’d fight if you had to,” Becca reminded him. “We need you, Mr. S.”

  Gabriel sighed and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “This decision is not an easy one, and it’s a lot more complicated than you know. This is only temporary—”

  “Yeah, temporary,” Eliza said, pushing to her feet. “We’re just another group of kids passing through.”

  “Shut up,” Jordan told her.

  “Lay off,” Alex told Jordan.

  “Ms. Kaye,” Gabriel said.

  “I get it,” Eliza answered. “We all get it. You have to do what’s best for you.”

  “Eliza,” Gabriel said as she started away.

  “I’ve gotta go,” she said. “I’ve got an appointment.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

  “Sure,” she answered without looking back.

  “Are we done for today?” Jordan asked, also pushing to his feet. “I don’t feel like rehearsing anymore.”

  “Yeah, maybe we should all quit,” Bucky agreed, getting up. “Bad enough the rest of the school thinks we’re a joke, now we get the gym teacher to direct our play. What’s the point?”

  “The point is that every one of us loves this club, and performing,” Gabriel said. “That’s why we show up every day and put our heart and soul into art.”

  “Yeah, I guess some of us just love it a little more than others,” Bucky said.

  “He’s allowed to have a personal life,” Alex said as he stood up. “Quit being so selfish,” he told his classmates. “You’re making him feel bad for something that isn’t his fault.”

  “We don’t want you to feel bad, Mr. S,” Becca said. “But this sucks.”

  “Can we go?” Jordan asked.

  “Yes, you may,” Gabriel answered. He hated seeing them upset, and he wondered—not for the first time—if he was doing the right thing. “I’ll see all of you in the morning.”

  They grabbed their bags and jackets and left, muttering amongst themselves. Alex was the last to leave, and he looked at Gabriel, still sitting in his metal chair.

  “It’ll be okay, Mr. S,” he said.

  “How are you, Alex?” Gabriel asked.

  “You don’t have to worry about everyone else all the time,” Alex answered. “Eliza was right. We’re just another class passing through.”

  “You know that isn’t true,” Gabriel said.

  “I don’t mean you don’t care about us,” Alex answered. “I just mean we’ll all be gone from here in a few years and you have more to think about than just us. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Gabriel nodded.

  ***

  Hi. How’s your day, so far?

  Not bad. Alex says you told the class. Guess it’s official?

  For now, Gabriel answered. He was sitting alone in his apartment with the quiet sound of Celia Cruz’s voice keeping him company. The music reminded him of his mother.

  You know what you want to do?

  Yes. But there’s a lot to consider.

  Are you worried people will find out about you and me?

  Not like you think.

  How do I think?

  Gabriel sighed, running a hand over his face. Sorry. I’m making a mess of this.

  Come to dinner tonight? With me and Alex, here at the house?

  Gabriel wasn’t expecting the invitation, and he hesitated, rereading the words. He didn’t know if this was a test, and he didn’t care. Jack inviting him to his home, the home he’d shared with Jeff and now shared with their son, was no small thing, and Gabriel didn’t take it for granted.

  Don’t you have to work? he asked.

  I took the night off. Someone else can stare blankly at the highway.

  Is Alex upset? Gabriel asked, assuming Jack had taken the night off to spend with his son.

  I think you’re upset, Jack answered. And not just because you texted instead of calling.

  Sometimes it’s easier to say things in text.

  Like?

  Like, I miss you and wish I could see you.

  You can. Come over, Jack answered. A moment later he texted his home address. After a pause, he sent another message: Is that inappropriate? I don’t want to cause more trouble for you.

  Do you want me to bring anything?

  Just yourself, Jack said, and Gabriel smiled at his screen. We’ll be in the driveway. I’m teaching Alex some life skills.

&n
bsp; Life skills?

  You’ll see ;)

  ***

  Gabriel pulled into the driveway beside Alex’s car—Jack’s was parked at the curb—and killed his engine, looking out his window. Four jeans-clad legs were protruding from under the front of the car, and Gabriel laughed as he climbed out.

  “We’re almost done,” Jack called from beneath the car.

  Gabriel sank into a crouch, wincing as his knees popped, and peered beneath the vehicle. Jack and Alex were side by side, lying on a piece of cardboard. Alex’s shirt and face were filthy, and Gabriel bit back another laugh.

  “Need an oil change, Mr. S?” Alex asked.

  “Not for another thousand miles or so,” Gabriel answered.

  “Let him know when it’s time,” Jack said. “He’s an expert now.”

  “Yeah and I’ll give you a good deal,” Alex told him.

  “As in, for free,” Jack said.

  “Can’t, don’t want him to think I’m bribing him for an A or something,” Alex answered, and Gabriel did laugh, then.

  “You’ve never had need for bribes,” Gabriel said.

  “You bring me wine, Mr. S?” Alex asked.

  Gabriel grinned, tipping the bottle in his hand. “Sparkling cider,” he answered.

  “You can head inside and throw that in the freezer to chill if you want,” Jack said. “Kitchen is straight in and to the right. We’ll be inside in a minute.”

  ***

  There were a lot of photographs of Jeff, on the walls and the shelves; family photos, mostly. There was a wedding photo of Jack and Jeff kissing, with Alex—acting as their best man, and Gabriel guessed he was around ten although he wasn’t sure exactly when the men had gotten married—smiling up at them. Seeing the photo hurt a place deep inside of Gabriel. They’d been a happy family, and they didn’t deserve to have that—to have him—ripped away from them.

  Gabriel turned away from the photos, but there were reminders of Jeff all over the house. His wool coat was hanging on the rack inside the door. Gabriel recognized it, because he’d told Jeff that he liked it.

  “It’s been a process,” Jack said quietly, coming to stand beside him. He was wiping his hands on a filthy rag, but his knuckles were lined in grease. “Taking his clothes out of the closet, and the disgusting cereal that no one ate but him,” he said with a wistful smile. His eyes were unfocused as he stared at Jeff’s coat on the rack. “His toothbrush is still in the bathroom, though. I suppose it’s been too long…”