Rising From the Dust

by Adrianna M Scovill

  “Fine. The point is that since concerns have already been raised about you teaching the reproductive classes, I think we can all readily agree that we should assign that particular post, permanently, to another teacher, all things considered.”

  “No, I don’t think we all readily agree,” Sam said, leaning forward to glare down the table at Greg. “He’s right, this started because we were concerned about the McGinty kid and now it’s turned into something else entirely. We’re not going to tell teachers who they can date. We’re not going to tell students that they’re not allowed to speak to their teachers outside of class. We’re not going to force teachers to betray confidences—”

  “With all due respect, you don’t decide what we do,” Greg said.

  “You don’t decide what we do,” Sam countered, flattening his palms on the table as he stared at Greg. “This is—”

  “Bullshit, yeah, we’ve heard your opinion,” Greg interrupted.

  “Gentlemen,” Florence Headley, so far silent, said. “Let’s maintain some civility.” She looked at Gabriel. “Greg may have spoken hastily. While the idea of adjusting the codes of conduct was suggested, it was in no way decided. As you pointed out, it would cause innumerable headaches, no doubt. All that we want is to ensure that the students aren’t affected by the adult relationships. Obviously we can’t hope for your relationship with Mr. Windsor to remain a secret, but we would hope you see how inappropriate it would be to discuss it in any way. With the students.”

  “Un-fucking-believable,” Sam said, sitting back in his chair in disgust. Sarah closed her eyes, looking ill. Rodgers dropped his gaze to the table and let out a breath. Only Greg and Florence continued to look at Gabriel, and he divided his gaze between them as he processed her words.

  Once again, he chose his own words carefully, and spoke in a tightly-controlled voice: “As I’ve already stated, I have never, and would never, discuss my sex life with—”

  “We mean the relationship in general,” Greg cut in.

  “You’re so far out of line,” Sam said, but he fell silent when Gabriel held up a placating hand.

  Holding Greg’s stare, Gabriel said, “Every year for more than two decades, there has been some group of students who give me and Natalie a card on our anniversary. Every year, I’ve had flowers delivered to her at lunch time on our anniversary and her birthday and Valentine’s Day and sometimes just for the hell of it. The students have seen me kiss her on occasion. The entire student body now knows that we’ve divorced. You tell me—where is the line supposed to be?”

  “That’s different and you know it,” Florence said.

  “Oh,” Gabriel answered. “Because we were married, you mean?”

  “No, because she’s not—”

  “Tread carefully, Mr. Larson,” Rodgers cut in sharply.

  Greg glared at him. “You’re not even a board member. Technically, I’m your boss.”

  “As of right now, however temporarily, I am a sitting board member, a decision that you agreed with,” Rodgers answered coldly. “Even if I’m only a tie-breaker, as needed. If you’re about to suggest that he be constrained by different rules because of the gender of his partner, I suggest you think long and hard about whether or not you want to go down that road.”

  “Look, all we want is to protect the school from upset parents and to minimize any…trauma to students,” Florence said. “This isn’t unreasonable.”

  “Trauma,” Gabriel repeated. “You mean the trauma of them learning that their teacher is gay.”

  Florence grimaced. “We don’t need to label specific—”

  “Oh, I think we do need to label things,” Gabriel said. “Let’s start with me. Do you know what I am, Ms. Headley? Gay. Do you know what my relationship with Mr. Windsor is? Gay. Do you know what this conversation is?”

  “Bullshit,” Sam supplied, and Gabriel pointed at him with the ghost of a smile touching his lips.

  “I was going for inappropriate or, frankly, illegal, but bullshit works, too.”

  “That’s the second time you’ve mentioned legality,” Greg said. “Are you threatening us?”

  Gabriel leaned back in his chair with a sudden grin. “Of course not,” he answered. “Are you worried about being sued for some reason?”

  “There’s no need for all the animosity,” Florence said. “You can do whatever or whoever you want on your own time. All we want is your word that you won’t discuss such things with your students and we can put an end to this whole thing.”

  “Or you could simply end the relationship and then the point is moot,” Greg added.

  Gabriel smoothed his hands down his lapels, and then along his thighs, giving himself time to collect his thoughts. “By my calculations, if I return to work tomorrow—and you have no grounds to keep me from returning to my classes—and then take all of my allotted personal and sick days, that’ll have me off until the beginning of the holiday break.”

  “You can’t—” Greg started.

  “I can,” Gabriel interrupted, glaring at him. “As I’ve only taken one of my allotted days in the past three years—the day after my mother’s death—I think you’ll find that I’m more than due. Plus, you already have a substitute on hand. Tomorrow will give me time to speak to my students—” He held up a hand to forestall the objections. “Don’t bother reiterating your talking-points and I won’t bother restating my position on what I do or don’t discuss with children. I will explain to my students why I’ll be off until after the new year. I’m going to California this weekend, for starters. Mr. Shafer has already taken over the Drama Club per Doug Sanderson, so for the first time in many years, I don’t have any duties surrounding the holiday events. So, I’m going to take a vacation. And I’m going to carefully consider your requests, I’m going to regroup and decide what I plan to do.”

  “You mean…decide if you want to comply with our rule or, what? Force us to fire you? Sue us?”

  Gabriel held Greg’s gaze steadily. “Decide if I want to fight for a job in a place that I’m not wanted, a job overseen by people who would have me hide my sexuality as though it were something of which to be ashamed,” he answered.

  “Mr. S,” Sam said, leaning forward. “Gabe,” he added, using Gabriel’s given name for the first time. “You have a job. You deserve your job. We are not threatening it, no matter what these two say. We have a vote, and I will not allow such a thing to stand.”

  “There’s no need for a vote,” Gabriel said. “At least, not today. I’ve laid out my terms. I will teach tomorrow, I will take my accrued days, and I will let you know of my decision at some point before the end of the holiday break. There’s nothing more to say on the matter. Before I leave, however, there is another issue that you need to address. Doug Sanderson and his treatment of the students, particularly Eliza Kaye.”

  “That’s being taken care of,” Rodgers said, holding up a hand.

  “Forgive my skepticism,” Gabriel answered.

  “No, he’s right,” Sarah spoke up. “A couple of the students recorded video of his…assembly.”

  “Dare I ask how you obtained these videos?” Gabriel asked.

  “Alex McGinty,” Rodgers said, cocking an eyebrow. “He refused to name the students from whom he obtained the videos, but there were a few different angles and needless to say, Doug’s behavior was unacceptable. He’s been let go. I will maintain temporary status as principal until we can decide on a replacement. I’ve recommended Natalie,” he added.

  “Principal, superintendent, and board member,” Gabriel said with a small smile. “Got your fingers in a lot of pies, there, Mike. I appreciate your hard work, and your swift action. The school is in good hands with you in charge.” He slid his gaze over the other four faces. “If there’s nothing else,” he said, pushing himself to his feet, “I’ll show myself out.”

  “Nothing’s been decided,” Greg objected.

  “I’m confident that I see where you’ve drawn your line in the sa
nd, Mr. Larson,” Gabriel answered. “Now comes the part where I speculate whether I’m going to obey it, politely step over it, or completely fucking obliterate it.”

  He turned and strode from the room, ignoring the angry splutters behind him.

  ***

  “Is your divorce final, yet?” Becca asked.

  Gabriel looked up from his desk. It was his last period of the day—Alex’s English class. Gabriel knew that everyone in the room already knew that he was going to be off through the holiday break—some of these students had been in his Spanish class, and the others would’ve heard by word of mouth.

  “We filed the paperwork, yes,” Gabriel answered.

  “Mr. S, single and ready to mingle,” Carter said. “You gonna get laid over the break?”

  Gabriel returned his attention to the papers he was grading. “That’s highly inappropriate, Mr. Johnson,” he answered.

  “Oh, come on,” Carter said. “We’re all friends here, right?” There was a smattering of laughter.

  “I’m your teacher,” Gabriel returned.

  “You’re not ancient, Mr. S,” Carter said.

  Gabriel chuckled, glancing up. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he said.

  “I mean it,” Carter insisted, leaning forward, suddenly uncharacteristically serious. “Don’t make us worry about you when we should be enjoying our holiday. Tell us. You got a girlfriend?”

  Gabriel set down his pen and looked up, lacing his fingers together on the desk. His gaze skated over the students, all of whom were looking back at him. He met Alex’s eyes, briefly. And then he turned his attention to Carter Johnson. “Boyfriend, actually,” he said.

  For ten full seconds, the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock on the wall. Gabriel waited, letting the students gauge his sincerity.

  “Oh,” Carter finally answered. “So…you gonna get dicked down, then?”

  Gabriel was startled into a laugh.

  The room was filled with a mixture of groans and nervous laughter.

  Before Gabriel could compose himself enough to even attempt to reprimand Carter for such a comment, Alex spoke: “Jesus Christ, Carter, you’re talking about my father,” he said. This proclamation was met with another bout of silence.

  “Your…what?” Carter asked, staring at Alex in disbelief.

  “My father,” Alex repeated.

  Everyone’s eyes turned to Gabriel. “You’re sleeping with his father?” Carter asked.

  “Dating,” Alex exclaimed, swiping at Carter’s arm. “Jesus, dude.”

  “Okay, okay,” Carter said, looking chagrined. “Sorry, dating, you’re dating his father?”

  Gabriel nodded slowly. He watched the class digest this information, saw Alex and Eliza exchange a smile.

  “If he starts getting As, I swear—” Carter said.

  “He’s always gotten As, dumbass,” Jordan answered, kicking at the back of Carter’s chair.

  “Does this have anything to do with you taking time off?” Becca asked.

  Gabriel had known one of them would get to this point, and he wasn’t surprised that it was her. Gabriel looked over their faces. They weren’t adults, but they couldn’t rightly be considered children anymore, either. He couldn’t—he wouldn’t—lie to them.

  So much for obeying the line, he thought, but he’d known all along that that wasn’t an option. “I’m not supposed to discuss it with you,” he said. “My relationship, I mean.”

  “Look, I’m sorry,” Carter said. “I didn’t mean to say anything that could get you in trouble. You didn’t answer, okay? We’ll all say you didn’t answer.”

  “Relax, Mr. Johnson,” Gabriel said. “I never agreed to the terms.”

  “It’s because you’re dating a guy, right?” Eliza asked. “Because it’s Alex’s dad? Can they fire you for that?”

  “No,” Alex answered.

  “No,” Gabriel agreed. “If I…” He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, considering. He hadn’t meant to mention his uncertainty; he hadn’t broached the subject with any of the other classes. “If I decide not to return after the break, it’s my decision,” he said.

  “You might quit?” Becca asked, sounding horrified. “Like, quit quit, everything, not just Drama Club.”

  “I know this is difficult to understand, but my life has been turned upside down recently. Overall, I think it’s a good thing. It’s given me time—and the motivation—to reflect on my life, my choices, and what I want. I love teaching at this school. I’ve taught some of your parents and I suppose I imagined I might be teaching some of your children in my seventies,” he added with a smile. “Now, I have to take a hard look at that and decide if it’s what I want. I know it must seem odd to you, me being so old, that I don’t have my life all figured out,” he said. “I’ve told you all that you don’t need to have your lives mapped out this early. You don’t have to know who you want to be or even who you are for sure. This is a time of self-discovery. And for me, it’s a time of…rediscovery, perhaps.

  “I want to make one thing very, very clear. Actually, a few things. I cannot be fired for being gay. That’s discrimination and it’s against the law. I cannot be forced to quit, because I do not acquiesce to bullying tactics. If I quit, it’s because I’ve decided that I want to pursue something else for myself. And most importantly, I am not ashamed of being gay. I am under no obligation to discuss my relationships with anyone unless I choose to do so, and the same is true for each and every one of you. Your relationships are your business and no one else’s. You don’t have to label yourselves to make other people comfortable, you don’t have to cut off or fold away pieces of yourselves to fit into boxes created by other people, and you don’t ever have to let others tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel.”

  He paused, looking them over. “No matter what I decide to do, this is not the last we’ll see of each other. You can always come to me if you need help or someone to listen, no matter how old and decrepit I get. I’m going to California this weekend. I know you’ll be in good hands. Mr. Rodgers will be acting principal, Ms. Santiago will be acting vice principal, Mr. Shafer will continue in the Drama Club, and you’ll have the substitute back on Monday—”

  “You got Mr. Sanderson fired,” Becca said. “Didn’t you.”

  “You got him fired for us,” Eliza said.

  “There were videos of some of his inappropriate behavior,” Gabriel said, glancing at Alex. “You helped yourselves and each other. You need to be respectful, but you do not need to tolerate being disrespected.”

  “You stuck up for us,” Carter said. “You don’t have to admit it but we know it’s true.”

  “Will you be here for the talent show and play?” Becca asked, and she and the other Drama Club members exchanged looks.

  “Of course,” Gabriel answered. “I wouldn’t miss the holiday festivities.” He glanced at the clock. “Alright, listen, everyone. The bell is going to ring in twenty seconds but I need you to hear me through. People are going to be upset. No matter what anyone might say, no one will make me ashamed of who I am. No one’s opinions on my personal life will dictate my career choices. And if I choose to move on from this school, it’s not because I don’t care about each and every one of you. Got it?” He looked around as they nodded solemnly. “Okay. I want you all to have a good weekend. I’ll see you at the holiday show. You’re dismissed, thank you for indulging me.”

  They hesitated in their seats, glancing around at each other.

  “Mr. S,” Becca said. “I know you say you’re not ashamed but we all know that what people say about us can hurt. So…I think I speak for all of us…when I say that, if you ever feel sort of…bad, you can remember that we love you. No one can change our minds about you.”

  “Damn right,” Carter said.

  Gabriel had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Thank you for that,” he said quietly.

  ***

  “If you came to gloat, save your
breath,” Sanderson said. “You win. I’m leaving.” He was packing the personal items from his office into a cardboard box.

  Gabriel sank into a chair. “I never wanted a fight, Doug,” he said. The former principal glanced at him with a humorless twist of his lips but didn’t answer. “Besides, I might be leaving, too,” Gabriel added.

  “You shouldn’t. Don’t let them drive you out,” Sanderson said, placing framed photos into the box.

  “No one’s driving me anywhere. I’m not sure I want to stay here anymore, all things considered.”

  Sanderson sighed and looked up, dropping his hands to his sides. “I didn’t know,” he said. “About you. The cop. I didn’t—”

  “I understand why you went to Rodgers,” Gabriel said. He didn’t bother to point out all of the things he disliked about Sanderson’s actions; Sanderson was out of a job, and so there was no point. “What I don’t understand is what I did to make you think that I ever wanted to be your enemy. We all got into this because we wanted to help kids, right? To teach them, to guide them toward adulthood…” He watched as Sanderson pulled open a desk drawer and withdrew a folder.

  Sanderson put the folder on the desk and flipped it open, gesturing with a flick of his wrist. Gabriel regarded him for a moment before leaning forward to look at the contents. He grimaced at the sight of the first page—a crudely drawn monster with dripping fangs, a hunched back, and a receding hairline. Mr. Sanderson was scrawled across the top of the page.

  Sanderson gestured again. “Don’t stop now,” he said, and Gabriel reluctantly flipped the page over.

  He shuffled through some of the papers—there were disgusting limericks, mean-spirited drawings, notes; all of the items had clearly been confiscated from students, and none of them had been created with kindness.