The Color of Your Skin Ain't the Color of Your Heart

by Michael Phillips

  "Where's your pa, little girl!" said one of the men gruffly.

  Terrified, she just stood there, unable to say a word.

  "I asked you a question, girl!" the man yelled. "Am I going to need to get down and horsewhip it outta-"

  "Hold on, Jeb," said one of the others who had ridden over by the barn. "I see 'em. They're out yonder in the field."

  Without another word, they spun their horses around and galloped off, leaving Aleta trembling and still standing where she was.

  We heard them coming. But they were riding so fast there was nothing we could do but wait. The second I saw them, terror seized me. Even though there were only three of them, the reckless way they were riding reminded me of the marauders that had killed Katie's and my families. They came galloping straight across the vegetable garden we'd been planting, kicking up the fresh dirt and destroying the seedbeds and young shoots that had started to grow, then tore toward us across the nice furrows Jeremiah'd worked so hard at with his ploughing. It seemed like they were trying to do as much damage as they could. Even their horses looked angry.

  "It's just a bunch of kids and darkies!" said one as they reined in close to us like they were trying to scare us.

  "Where's Clairborne!" yelled the one who seemed to be the leader.

  Nobody spoke.

  "You all deaf" he shouted with a menacing tone.

  "I'm Kathleen Clairborne," said Katie, stepping forward.

  "Yeah, well, I asked for Clairborne, not some kid. Who are you?"

  "I'm his daughter. He's not here."

  "Where is he?"

  "He's away. He's up north."

  "She's the one Sneed said the banker told him about, Jeb," said one of the other men, riding his horse over next to Katie and brushing alongside her. Even as he said it, he eyed Katie with a look I didn't like.

  "Say, young lady," he said, "you look uncommonly like your ma.

  "That's what people say," said Katie, staring straight ahead and trying to ignore him, which wasn't easy to do.

  "Except that you're a lot prettier.-Can't you look at me when I'm talking to you, girl! I said you was pretty. Don't you like that?"

  Still Katie kept staring forward.

  Now the man reached down from his horse and felt Katie's hair, then started running his hand slowly across her cheek.

  Beside me I felt Jeremiah take a step toward him.

  "Jeremiah," I whispered, "don't. She'll be all right."

  "Cut it out, Hal," said the one called Jeb. "Time for that later when we got what we come for." Then he turned back to Katie. "Now, little girl, you listen to me," he said angrily. "It's your ma we want if your pa ain't here-or what she's got. And that is her brother's gold."

  "I'm sorry ... my mama isn't here either," said Katie.

  "She still sick?"

  "Uh ... yes, sir."

  "Well, maybe that's so, but I reckon you know about that gold too."

  "I've only heard about it, sir."

  "And you have nothing to tell us about Ward Daniels?"

  "No, sir," said Katie. "I've never seen my uncle Ward."

  The man let out an exasperated sigh, and it was obvious he was losing his patience.

  "Now look," he said, "we're tired of fooling around. This is the third time we've come here, and we're asking peaceable-like. Fact is, Ward Daniels stole some gold from us and we aim to get it back. Your ma told Sneed there was no more, but you see-me and the boys ain't quite as trusting as Mr. Sneed. We don't believe him. And to tell you the truth, little girl, we ain't so sure we believe your ma either. She may be sick, but that don't stop her from being a liar. You see, that piece of gold the banker brought him, that's from what Ward stole from us. So we know Ward left it here, wherever he is by now, or even if he's dead. And there was a lot more than that little bag your ma gave Sneed. I don't know what she was trying to pull with the banker, but you see, we ain't convinced."

  "What if... there isn't any more?" said Katie in a shaky voice.

  "If your ma was playing it straight and don't know where it is, then we'll have to find it ourselves, 'cause it's here, whether you or she know it or not. And we aim to find the rest of it. It's ours. It don't belong to Ward, and it don't belong to your ma or pa or you neither. We ain't gonna take no for an answer. No ain't no answer at all."

  Katie just stared back at him.

  "So I'm asking you straight out-has your ma got the gold?"

  "I'm ... I don't know, sir. There's no more gold."

  "All right ... if that's the way you want it, you tell your ma she's got twenty-four hours to stop whatever game she's trying to play, or else to find it. Then we'll be back-noon tomorrow. You tell your ma that if she don't give us the gold, we'll take her place apart board by board if we have to. We're going to find it. I'm giving you fair warning. We'll be back ... tomorrow. We'll have our guns, and whatever else it takes to find it. We'll ransack the place if we have to ... we'll burn you out if we have to."

  He spun his horse around and rode off and the second man followed. The third waited, then went up close to Katie again and reached down from his horse to touch her hair and neck. "And just maybe I'll help myself to a little of this too, after we find your gold!" he said.

  Then he laughed a horrible laugh and galloped away after the other two. Right then I think I could have killed him.

  As soon as they were gone I went to Katie and took her in my arms. Every inch of her body was trembling.

  "I don't know what we're going to do, Mayme," she said, tears filling her eyes. "We chased them away with guns once, and we fooled them once with me pretending to be my mother. But they're going to be prepared when they come back. They're not going to let anything stop them tomorrow"

  HAT PUT AN END TO OUR COTTON PLANTING for that day. What was the use of planting cotton if they were going to come back and knock the house apart, or even burn it down?

  The first thing we had to do was tell Henry, and Jeremiah left for town immediately to do that. They both came out later and spent the night at our place in the barn. Even having Jeremiah there wasn't like I wished it could have been because we were all so scared. He and I didn't get the chance to be alone together at all.

  Katie didn't know what to do. If she gave the men what was left of the gold, the bank would take Rosewood, and they might still not believe it was all of it and might do those other terrible things regardless. But if she didn't give it to them, they might destroy Rosewood before the bank could do anything anyway.

  It seemed like there was nothing she could do that wasn't bound to have a bad ending.

  And the minute they found out there were no grownups here but Henry, and that Katie's mama hadn't ever really been here at all ... I could hardly sleep that night for thinking about the dreadful things they might do-like raping me and Katie and Emma and hanging Henry and Jeremiah. Right then, I was more worried about all that than I was the gold or the bank. The look in that man's eye when he'd come up close to Katie was a look to frighten any girl with an ounce of sense, and it sure frightened me.

  I could hardly sleep a wink, growing more and more worried with every hour that went by.

  Sometime in the middle of the night I got up and crept softly into Katie's room.

  "You asleep?" I whispered.

  "No," said Katie softly. "I can't."

  "Me neither."

  I got into bed with her.

  "I don't know what to do, Mayme," said Katie. "Maybe I ought to just give them the gold. But I'm afraid they'll be just as mad because I lied to them yesterday, and it won't stop them from doing bad things. They don't seem like the kind of men that will be satisfied with it now that it's gone this far, especially if they find out I was just pretending to be my mama."

  "Even if you give it to them, what if they still don't think that's all of it?"

  "Then what's to be done, Mayme?"

  "I don't know. Maybe it's finally time to tell the sheriff or some folks in town. Maybe some men would come out
to help."

  "But when it was all over, everyone would know"

  "People are bound to find out sometime, just like Henry did."

  "But the longer we can wait, and the older I get, maybe nothing will happen. If they find out now, especially with us having got into such danger, they'd take Rosewood away for certain and my uncle Burchard would find out and William McSimmons would find out where Emma was."

  "I'd forgotten about that," I said. "He'd find out where I was too!"

  "Oh, Mayme, it's too awful to think about! There's nothing we can do! And I'm so afraid for what they might do to us, especially to Henry and Jeremiah if they say or do anything to try to help us. Men like that don't like blacks, Mayme."

  "I know, Katie," I said. "Believe me ... I know."

  "Didn't you see that rope tied to that one man's saddle? When I saw it I could only think of one thing. I'm so afraid for Henry and Jeremiah. And if they took them and tried to hang them, there wouldn't be anything we could do to stop them. Can you imagine how horrible it would be to have to watch them hang them, and watch them die right in front of us, knowing that when it was done they were probably going to hurt us. It's so horrible, Mayme ... I can't stand it. And I don't think giving them the gold will do any good. Maybe we ought to tell somebody in town like you said. I would, except for the danger it would put you and Emma in."

  Somehow we drifted to sleep. But when morning came it brought no answers to our dilemma.

  And now noon was only a few hours away.

  Y MIDMORNING THE TENSION WAS SO GREAT I could hardly stand it. Even Emma was quiet.

  Katie went down to the cellar and came back a while later with another canvas bag about half full of what remained of the gold, including the nuggets she'd taken to Mr. Taylor at the bank. I could tell by the way she carried it that it was heavy. She clunked it down on the sideboard in the parlor.

  "Well, there it is," she said.

  "You gwine gib it t' dem, Miz Katie?" asked Emma.

  "I don't know, Emma," said Katie with a sigh. "I just don't know. But I've got to be ready to give it to them if it seems like it'll help."

  As Katie said it I could tell from the tone of her voice that she had about given up all hope of saving Rosewood. The bag of gold sitting on the sideboard was the only hope left-and now she was ready to give it away. She wasn't just scared, her voice was sad. It was like she had finally realized that our scheme had failed and she had given up.

  Slowly the morning passed.

  About eleven, Jeremiah jumped up from where we were all sitting together in the kitchen.

  "I don' know 'bout da res' of you," he said, "but I'm gettin' me a gun.-Miz Katie, show me da gun cabinet, an' wiff yer permishun-"

  Henry rose to his feet.

  "Now jes' wait er minute, Jeremiah," he began. "We don' wants ter go git all riled. Ain't no good comes from killin', nohow. We ain't gwine do no shootin', not unless hit becomes a matter ob life er death, which ain't likely of gold's sittin' at da root ob it-"

  "Look, Papa," interrupted Jeremiah. "Dose men ain't gwine ter be feelin' too kindly tard Miz Katie when dey come, an' wiff respec' t' yer feelins' in da matter, I ain't gwine let dem hurt her, or any ob da res' ob dese girls. I ain't neber shot nobody in my life. But I's takin' one ob Miz Katie's guns an' I'm hidin' myself in dat barn, an' effen dey lay a han' on her or Mayme or Emma, or you either, den I'll shoot 'em. I'm sorry, Papa, but I ain't gwine stan' by an' watch dem do what white men sometimes does. Dey's carryin' rope too, an' dat fears me right fearsome. You can whip me later of you wants, of you an' me's still alive, an' I won't gib a squeak er protest. But right now ... -Miz Katie, show me yer guns!"

  Henry kept silent. I couldn't tell if he was upset or if he admired Jeremiah for his determination. Probably a little of both.

  Five minutes later Jeremiah was on his way out to the barn carrying a loaded rifle and a shotgun in his two hands.

  I followed him outside.

  "Jeremiah," I said, "please ... be careful."

  "I'll be as careful as I can be," he said. "I'll jes' bide my time till I see's what's gwine happen. I won't start nuthin'. An' Lord knows I's scared a da thought ob it all. So I's keep quiet, res' assured er dat, till I sees what dey's gwine do. But I ain't gwine let 'em rape Miz Katie, or hurt Emma or Miz Aleta or anyone-"

  He paused a second and looked down into my eyes. It was a look that filled me with a feeling of comfort in the midst of the danger. There was almost a wild look in his eyes, but it was the look of love, not anger. In that moment I knew he'd die himself before he'd let anything happen to me.

  "An' I sure ain't gonna let dem hurt you," he said. "An' if dey lay a finger on my daddy, den I'll kill 'em."

  Suddenly he stepped forward, leaned toward me, and kissed me on the lips, then turned and strode off toward the barn holding the two guns, leaving me standing there with my heart pounding about twice as fast as it should have been! It wasn't how I'd imagined the first time being kissed by a boy-with us worrying whether we'd live through the day.

  But even with him holding two guns in his hands, it was mighty fine!

  T QUARTER TILL NOON WE WERE ALL THE MORE on edge and scared. Even Henry was sober and silent and just sat in a chair calmly waiting. He still had no gun. As was clear enough from what he'd said to Jeremiah, he wasn't a fighting man. He just sat there praying, though I could never have guessed the direction his prayers were taking. I reckon he would say that was his kind of fighting. We hadn't heard any more from Jeremiah since he'd gone out to hide in the barn.

  Suddenly we heard a horse outside. The moment we'd been waiting for had come!

  We waited. Still the bag of gold sat on the sideboard. I didn't know if Katie'd decided what to do or not. At a time like this, as much as we'd shared of our life together, what we were facing on this day involved decisions she had to make herself. Even a cousin couldn't help her now.

  A tense minute went by. We heard the horse walk up and stop. A few seconds later a knock came on the door. It seemed so loud it nearly made us all jump right out of our chairs.

  We looked around at each other. I could tell that Katie didn't know what to do. But she was the mistress of Rosewood now.

  She hesitated a moment, then got up from the table and crept toward the door. Slowly she opened it.

  "Uncle Templeton!" she exclaimed. The next instant her visitor found himself smothered in a tight hug of joy.

  The words flowed like a wave of deliverance into the room. The rest of us let out big sighs of relief accompanied by smiles, and of course Emma started carrying on immediately.

  "Hello, Kathleen," said Mr. Daniels. Even as he embraced her at the door, I saw his eyes searching past the entryway into the kitchen until they found me. He smiled above the blond hair of Katie's head buried against his shoulder, and I knew the smile was meant just for me.

  "You came back!" said Katie, still holding him.

  "That I did, Kathleen," he said. "Like I told you last time, I finally found that I cared about something other than myself. And now that I've got two girls to care about ... or maybe four, I should say," he added, glancing toward Aleta and Emma, "I decided that I'd had enough of running away from my obligations. Every time a little responsibility gets too close, Templeton Daniels hightails it away. Well, maybe it's time I change that. I can't keep running forever. So here I am."

  He stepped back from Katie and the two of them walked into the kitchen, Katie beaming with pride. Like he had so many times, he was looking straight at me and gazing deep into my eyes. Now I knew why. He was seeing my mother. And at last I wasn't afraid to return the look of love in his eyes.

  Slowly I got up and went toward him. He opened his arms and I walked into them. He closed his embrace about me. I leaned my face against his big chest and stretched my arms tight around his waist. It felt so good to have him, my very own papa, hold me close, to know that he had loved my mama, and to know that I was no longer afraid of what it meant.

  The
whole kitchen was silent. Sometimes the reconciliation of hearts needs no words. I reckon this was one of those times.

  I shed no tears right then. I'd spent my tears and they'd done the work that God invented tears to do-they'd helped clean out my heart and wash away the selfishness from it. So now I just stood, happy and quietly content to let my father hold me.

  "You and me are going to have to have a long talk, Mary Ann ..." he whispered.

  I just nodded my head against his chest.

  "... a long talk about your mama, and about you, and me.

  "We're so glad to see you!" said Katie, excitedly interrupting the quiet moment between us. "We're in trouble, Uncle Templeton. Those men I told you about ... they're back. They're coming today, real soon ... they said they were coming with guns! Jeremiah's outside right now with a gun. I'm afraid he's going to shoot them. We don't know what to do!"

  Mr. Daniels stepped away from me and I fell out of his embrace. A serious expression came over his face. That's when he noticed Henry standing on the other side of the room.

  He walked toward him and stretched out his hand.

  "I take it," he said, "that you must be Henry."

  "Yes, suh," said Henry, shaking his hand.

  "Templeton Daniels."

  "Henry Patterson," said Henry with a nod.

  "Well, I'm glad to know you, Henry," said Mr. Daniels. "From what these girls of mine tell me, you've been a mighty big help to them. I want to thank you. I should have been doing more myself. I'm still trying to learn a few things about life. I might be a slow learner, but I hope it's not too late for me."

  "Ain't neber too late fer learnin' the bes' things life's got ter teach us, Mr. Daniels."

  "And just what would those things be, Mr. Patterson?"

  "Ter do fer others as we'd hab dem do fer us. Ali don' reckon hit gits much simpler dan data'