The Price of Freedom

by Every, Donna

  Chapter 18

  Saturday dawned with a clear sky that promised a truly beautiful day. The beauty and peacefulness of the morning contrasted sharply with the nervous churning of Deborah’s stomach as she contemplated the night and what it would bring.

  It took them little time to pack their meager possessions, much of which was cast offs from the household. Soon that will change, she told herself, if the nephew could be trusted to keep his word. She remembered the look in his eyes as he asked her to trust him and felt assured that she could. But what would she do when she was free? She had a little money saved but it wasn’t enough to buy a property or start a business. Would he give her some money to start out? She hadn’t considered that in her agreement.

  After Jethro and the stable boy came to take their things over to their new room, she washed her hair before heading out to the grove to dry it and spend some time alone. Her life was about to undergo a major change; in fact the change had already started. It felt strange to think that the master no longer owned her, but Richard did instead.

  Never would she have imagined that happening when she had heard the master reading the letter from him a few months ago. Had he only been here for a month? Why did it seem so much longer? It was as if he had come to the plantation and just fit in as if he belonged and had always been here. Now she would belong to him, not just by means of a legal document but by his possession of her body. Her stomach churned again.

  She couldn’t help but remember the night that William had lured her to his room and the pain and shame that she had endured. She was not afraid that Richard would be like William for he had had opportunities where he could have taken her against her will and he had not, but that didn’t stop the dread she felt as the day grew older.

  She had accepted his proposition and it was too late to back out now. Her body for her freedom. She acknowledged that it was more than just her body she was giving up; she was giving up her pride, her beliefs and her self-respect. She knew that it was wrong. He was not her husband and he was betrothed to another. But it was worth it for her freedom, wasn’t it? She could do this for two months; go to him willingly when he called for her. No real harm would be done.

  Would she be required to pretend that she enjoyed his attentions? Was that part of their agreement? Just two months, sixty days. How many times could he call for her in that time? Surely not that many. And then she would be free.

  Deborah took a leisurely bath in the bathhouse on Richard’s instructions, a luxury that had not been available to her before and her mother helped her into the green dress. She put up her hair as she had worn it at the party and took a deep breath to steady her beating heart. She was being prepared like a bride for a wedding but this was far from the joining of two lives, this was simply the joining of two bodies. Shame swept through her that she had agreed to this until she ruthlessly pushed it aside and reminded herself that it was for her freedom. She was prepared to pay any price for that.

  “You look real pretty,” Sarah complimented her. “Don’t worry, you know that Master Richard isn’t like William and anyway Hattie only had good things to say about him.” That was supposed to make her feel better?

  She felt awkward. She didn’t know what to do. Should she go up to his room and wait for him or should she wait until he called for her. Who would he send? What time was it now? Had they finished eating dinner? She could eat nothing because of the knots in her stomach.

  A knock at the door made her jump nervously. It was Cassie telling her that Master Richard had asked her to come up to his room in a few minutes. She squeezed Deborah’s hand comfortingly and said, “He’s a good man, don’t worry.”

  It was all very well and good for them to say but that didn’t stop the trembling that had started in the pit of her stomach.

  Cassie stayed a few minutes to chat with them, telling Deborah that Hattie was not too happy with her for taking her place with Master Richard and that the mistress didn’t look too pleased when Master Richard sent her with the message but the master had smiled and slapped him on the shoulder.

  “Girl a few minutes gone. You better get upstairs.” She said getting off the bed to head for the kitchen to finish her chores.

  Deborah looked at her mother, took a deep breath and walked out the door.

  The walk to Richard’s room seemed to take a lot less time than she remembered. Before she was ready, Deborah found herself standing outside the thick mahogany door and she raised her hand to knock. She heard a chair push back and before she could gather herself, the door opened and Richard stepped back to let her in.

  She stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Should she greet him? Should she wait for him to say something? Why did she suddenly feel so shy when she had spoken boldly to him on many occasions?

  “You look even more beautiful tonight.” He took both of her hands in his and drew her further into the room. Two lanterns were turned down to give the room intimate lighting which made her feel more comfortable than the stark brightness of William’s room that night.

  “Would you like a drink?” He indicated a bottle of wine and two glasses which were on the desk.

  “Yes, thank you.” She was glad for any excuse to delay the inevitable.

  She couldn’t help but admire his grace as he crossed the room and how well he filled out his black jacket and breeches.

  He poured a small glass of wine for her and a larger one for him. She had tasted wine only once before and she couldn’t really say that she had liked it but now she was glad for the fortifying drink which she sipped.

  Richard knew that he wasn’t doing justice to the fine wine as he drank it in a few gulps and quickly drained the glass. He couldn’t believe Deborah was finally here in his room and he was eager to be with her. After all, he’d done nothing but imagine this for the last two nights; in fact longer than that. Taking the glass from her hand, although she had barely tasted the wine, he put it on the desk and drew her closer. He could feel her shaking.

  Gentle fingers unwound her long plait and freed her hair from its confines until it streamed down her back.

  “Beautiful,” he said as he buried his fingers in her hair. “And mine.”

  William’s words came back to haunt her but were quickly banished as Richard bent his head and kissed the side of her neck and nibbled his way across to the pulse that was beating frantically at the base of her throat.

  Raising his head, his eyes focused on her lips which were stained with the wine, making her instinctively lick them. Taking this as an invitation, Richard sipped at the each corner of her mouth and then slowly stroked her sealed lips with the tip of his tongue, tasting the wine he had barely allowed her to drink. Deborah shivered in response and parted her lips obediently.

  His hand at the back of her head urged her even closer and he slanted his head to one side as he tasted each delicious crevice that he discovered. Deborah was drowning in sensations that she had never felt before and her hands crept up to his shoulders for support lest her knees give way.

  Of their own volition her hands reached up to tangle in his hair. This was the first time she had voluntarily touched him, any man for that matter, and she found that the sensation of her fingers in his hair was pleasurable. He obviously felt the same way as he shuddered, giving her a feeling of power that she didn’t know she had.

  His kisses became more demanding and Deborah found herself giving all that he silently asked for. When he drew back they were both breathing as if they had run a race. Deborah lowered her head to his chest in shame. She couldn’t believe she had kissed Richard like that and enjoyed it.

  “Your mouth is as delicious as I imagined it would be,” he whispered huskily. Deborah cringed in embarrassment. She wished he wouldn’t say these things to her.

  He lifted her chin and she found herself staring into eyes that were no longer navy blue but black with desire. She would have looked away but he held her chin and said: “You have nothing to be ashamed about. Desire is
natural and beautiful when it is pure.”

  Distracting her with intoxicating kisses, he sought the buttons at the back of her dress and with an expertise she could only imagine how he came by, he soon pushed the dress from her shoulders. Before she had time to be embarrassed at standing before him in her undergarments he kissed her again, bringing her hands to his chest and encouraged her to unbutton his shirt. He quickly shrugged off his jacket and shirt and stood before her clad only in his breeches.

  When she innocently explored the hardness of his chest and his muscled back, he sucked in his breath and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her fragrant hair. She marveled at how right their embrace felt.

  “Beautiful,” he said again hoarsely and she gloried in the fact that he was so affected by her.

  He picked her up in his arms and gently deposited her on the bed which was as soft as she remembered from the last time. This time however she didn’t try to escape; she moved over to make room for him as he peeled off his breeches and joined her, pulling her on top of him so that she felt powerful and in control.

  She bent her head and boldly initiated a kiss which he soon became the master of. Rolling her over he pinned her under his heavy body but she didn’t feel any panic, instead she welcomed his weight and tangled her legs with his.

  Richard drew back and took a breath to steady himself and slow down the pace. He did not want to rush this but Deborah was making it very difficult. It took all his strength to control his desire to lose himself in her but even more than the physical release he craved, he wanted to erase the horror of her experience with William. His greater desire for their first time together was to create a memory so beautiful that it would stay with her long after he had left.

  Richard held Deborah in his arms as her shudders subsided. He languidly smiled in satisfaction against her hair. Deborah was amazed that being intimate with him could be so totally different from what she had experienced with William. The memory of that violation was now firmly banished from her mind by Richard’s gentle touch and patience.

  Now that the ecstasy had faded she began to feel ashamed at her response and that she was in his bed. This wasn’t the consummation of a marriage, she was his slave and she was in his bed in exchange for her freedom. Funny how easily she had forgotten that with the caresses of his hands and mouth on her body. The truth was as shocking as a bucket of cold water in her face. She struggled out of his embrace and turned her back to him in an attempt to hide the tears that now trickled from her eyes.

  Richard immediately leaned over her in concern and asked: “What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?” She shook her head. “Then what’s wrong?”

  “This is wrong! I’m with you in exchange for my freedom and you only bought me because you desired my body. Oh..,” she gasped in horror as she suddenly remembered something, “I even forgot that you have a fiancée in Carolina.” To tell the truth Richard had forgotten as well.

  “What of it? It felt right and we both enjoyed it.” Deborah could not deny that it felt right but feeling right didn’t make it right. And she would never have been in his bed if he had not promised her freedom. Then again, after tonight, maybe that was no longer true. She now understood what Hattie meant. He had been so patient and gentle with her that the ice around her heart that had begun to melt the day he rescued her was now just about gone and that scared her more than a whipping. He was leaving in two months.

  “You think too much,” he complained pulling her back against him. The warmth of his embrace and the languor of her body made her begin to feel sleepy in spite of her restless thoughts and her eyes began to close.

  “Shouldn’t I go back to my room?” she murmured sleepily.

  “No. Stay where you are. I will enjoy sleeping with you in my arms.” His last thought before he fell asleep was that she felt entirely too right in his arms.

  Chapter 19

  The sun in her face woke Deborah or she would probably have slept until noon. Stretching contentedly she wondered why she was on a soft mattress and why her body felt so relaxed. Images of Hattie coming into the kitchen weeks ago stretching contentedly came back to her and she suddenly remembered the source of that contentment. Richard! Shame shocked her into wakefulness. She was no better than Hattie.

  “Good morning,” greeted Richard. Deborah’s head swung around to find him lying on his side watching her.

  In the light of day Deborah was mortified and pulled the sheet up to cover herself as she remembered their time together.

  “Too late for modesty now,” teased Richard earning him a glare.

  “I shouldn’t be here. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “Have you got something to do? Somewhere to go? You forget that your job is to serve me now.”

  “How could I forget?” she asked sarcastically. “I hope I served you well.”

  “Oh, you definitely did. You’re worth every pound I paid for you,” provoked Richard. Deborah raised her hand to slap his face but he caught it before it found its mark.

  “Now I promised that I wouldn’t hit you but I should have made you promise the same, you little minx. Does this mean that the honeymoon is over?” he teased.

  “This isn’t funny Richard. This is not a honeymoon. I have sold my body for freedom. This is something I always said I would never do,” she agonized.

  “Well if that is the case, I paid £20 for your services, something I always said I would never do, and do you see me agonizing about it?” As if to prove his point he bent to kiss a ticklish spot on her neck. “And it’s Master Richard to you.” He couldn’t help adding.

  “You are so infuriating!” she scolded shoving him off and escaping from the bed.

  “Well if you’re getting up, go and get me some breakfast and bring it back to bed. I am famished woman, and I need to regain my strength.”

  Deborah picked up a pillow that had somehow gotten pushed off the bed during the night and threw it at him. He caught it easily and put it behind his head while he sat up to watch her get dressed with a satisfied smile. He was right; he could not have bought anything with the £20 that would have given his as much pleasure as Deborah.

  Since it was Sunday only some of the girls were working in the house. For that Deborah was grateful since she didn’t feel up to facing their knowing looks. She returned to her room, had a quick wash with a bowl of water she found there and changed into her everyday clothes before heading to the kitchen.

  The family had already left for church and Cassie, her mother and the cook were sitting down to eat some porridge. She was relieved that Hattie was not there.

  “Good morning,” Deborah greeted hesitantly.

  “Morning? It’s nearly noon girl,” teased Cassie. Sarah smiled and continued eating her porridge without commenting.

  Deborah blushed and told the cook, “Master Richard would like his breakfast now. I’m to take it to him.”

  “All right, just now I goin’ fry some bacon and eggs for him. Sit down and eat some porridge.”

  “Thank you. I am starving!”

  “Master Richard didn’ feed you last night?” Cassie asked just to get a reaction from Deborah. “It’s a good thing Hattie not working today because she ain’ too happy with you.”

  That was too bad for Hattie. She’d had the pleasure of Richard’s attention for a month and Deborah could even understand her anger, but her freedom was at stake so Hattie would have to get over it.

  As the smell of frying bacon and eggs filled the kitchen, Deborah got up to fix Richard some tea to go with it. Her mouth watered at the scent of the cooking meat and wondered if he would offer to share it with her. The cook had been more than generous with her portions.

  Holding the tray with his breakfast in both hands she headed up the stairs and to his room at the end of the corridor. She balanced the tray in one hand while she knocked and waited for him to invite her in.

  Richard opened the door again, this time clad only in a pair of tight breeches w
hich left little to the imagination. He took the tray from her and walked over to the desk and put it down. Deborah’s eyes trailed after him in secret admiration.

  “Something smells good,” he remarked lifting the cover off the plate. “Surely the cook doesn’t expect me to eat all this. Come and have some.” Deborah hesitated and then checked herself. The slave mentality was so engraved in her that she felt she should not eat with him. It was funny how slaves could share their master’s bed but not their table.

  Richard pulled her to sit on him and fed her pieces of bacon. The smoked salty meat was delicious. She couldn’t remember the last time she tasted bacon; probably when she used to practically live with the girls or on the rare occasions that the cook would let them have the tiny burnt bits that were left over after she made the family’s breakfast.

  How she had risen in status, she scoffed at herself; having the luxury of two days off, sleeping past dawn and now eating bacon and eggs with her master. She could easily get used to this life. What had happened to the days when she scorned status and said she preferred freedom? She reminded herself that the privileges were only for two months, and that was assuming that Richard did not tire of her before then; after all Hattie had not lasted more than a month.

  Harvest was well on the way so every hand was put to work. Richard had another hard day of working in the fields but, unlike the slaves, he could stop cutting when he got tired and move on to another task like loading the canes which was a lot easier.

  He groaned as he stretched his back after picking up another load and putting it on the cart. The only thing he would do tonight when he got into his bed was sleep. At this rate he wouldn’t have the energy to call for Deborah very much in the next two months. He knew that he didn’t really have to work so hard but he wanted to earn his keep since his uncle had refused to take any money from him, except of course the £20 for Deborah.