The Price of Freedom

by Every, Donna

  The servant who opened the door greeted him warmly and showed him into a small sitting room while she went to let Ann and her parents know that he was there. In minutes the door opened and Ann practically flew into the room, followed by her parents. Ben was leaning heavily on a cane and looked more frail than when he had last seen him.

  “Richard!” She exclaimed in delight and threw herself in his arms. Well absence seemed to make her heart fonder for him, he thought in bemusement, and certainly less shy.

  “Hello, Ann,” he said, hugging her in return and trying not to compare the feel of her in his arms with holding Deborah. He released her to greet her parents who were delighted to see him back safely.

  “We’ll give you two a few minutes to talk alone,” Ben said leaving the room and discreetly closing the door behind them.

  Richard’s eyes travelled over Ann’s perfectly styled hair and her beautiful dress and he couldn’t help but compare her to the olive skinned beauty that had turned his life upside down in the last three months. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he tried to attend to what she was saying, even as he wondered how he would marry this woman and live with her when all he could think about was a beautiful free woman in Barbados who had somehow captured his heart.

  “I’m so glad that you’re back!” she exclaimed excitedly. “I was getting worried when I didn’t hear from you so I was very happy to get your note. Barbados sounds like a wonderful place to visit. Maybe you can take me there some time.”

  That was the last thing Richard wanted so he made a noncommittal comment. Ann didn’t seem to notice as she gushed on telling him about all the things she had done when he was away. He noticed that Charles’ name came up quite often and he wondered if Ann had begun to develop feelings for him. The thought gave him some measure of relief although he did not examine why that was. After a while her constant chatter began to wear on him and he told her that he really had to get to work to see what had transpired in his absence.

  He sensed that Ann was waiting for him to kiss her and any man would have been happy to oblige her. Any man but him, that is. This was a very disturbing turn of events; he was reluctant to kiss his fiancée! That did not bode well for the fact that they were supposed to get married before the end of the year. In the end he gave her a brief kiss on the lips and quickly headed for the door, trying not to look at her confused face.

  Chapter 26

  August 10, 1696

  St. Michael’s Town

  Barbados

  Thomas knocked at the door and looked around while he waited for it to be opened. The sun was beginning to go down since he had left home in the afternoon with the plan to spend the weekend in town. Elizabeth had been less than pleased when he’d told her not to expect him back until Sunday evening.

  He could see that in the month Sarah and Deborah had lived here they had done a lot of improvements to the property. Down below in the garden were barrels cut in half with small plants in them which he assumed were Deborah’s herbs. They had also planted some flowers which added color to the well kept yard.

  The door opened and Sarah peeped around it. Her face broke into a welcoming smile and he stepped inside as she opened the door wider to let him in. She looked as happy to see him as he was to see her.

  “I missed you Sarah.” He pulled her into his arms for a hug, surprised at how good it was to hold her and see her so happy and content.

  “I missed you too Master Thomas,” she said taking his hat and coat and the small bag that he had brought. “You spending the weekend?”

  “Yes and you don’t have to call me Master any more Sarah,” he reminded her.

  “It’s hard to change, Thomas,” she said deliberately, smiling again. “May I get you a drink or something to eat?”

  “No, thanks Sarah, I don’t want anything just yet. Only you,” he said, pulling her into his arms again. The sound of someone entering the hallway stopped him and he looked over Sarah’s shoulder to see Deborah looking somewhat embarrassed to see her mother in his arms.

  “Hello Deborah,” he greeted, releasing Sarah reluctantly. Thomas had never embraced Sarah in front of Deborah and it was strange to see.

  “Hello, Master Thomas. How have you been?”

  “I’ve been better. I missed your mother terribly,” he confessed, unable to resist pulling Sarah to his side again. He realized that it was true. He had called for Hattie a couple of times in the month but she was not Sarah.

  “You want to see what we did with the house?” asked Sarah excitedly.

  “By all means,” he said.

  The ladies proudly showed him the living room, the small parlor and the kitchen which they had decorated with curtains, rugs and colorful cushions and then took him downstairs to see the shop which was only partly stocked since they were waiting for their first shipment of goods to arrive.

  “Have you made contact with the merchants I suggested through my lawyer?” he asked Deborah.

  “Yes, we made some orders so we’re waiting for them to come in but my mother bought some material from one of the shops and has been sewing already and people are beginning to come in and buy whatever teas I have available. I also planted some herbs.”

  “Good, good. Where are Jacko and Mamie?”

  “We gave them the evening off.” Thomas looked disapprovingly at them but kept his mouth shut since he did not have the right to tell them anything anymore.

  “It all looks very nice,” he complimented instead. “Let me see what you did with your room,” he hinted to Sarah. Deborah smiled slightly and excused herself, saying that she would go and start dinner.

  A while later Sarah lay with her head on Thomas’ chest, idly playing with the graying hair that liberally covered it.

  “Thomas?”

  “Hmm?” he responded lazily.

  “I want to ask you something.”

  “What is it?” He waited.

  “How is it that when you owned us you were so good to me and to Deborah but at the same time you could order one of the field slaves to be whipped for running away or for stealing or sell one of their children without thinking how they felt?”

  Thomas was silent for such a long time that Sarah thought he wouldn’t answer. Had she gone too far with her questions? She started to move from his arms but he tightened them around her, keeping her where she was.

  “I don’t know how to answer that Sarah. Thinking how they felt never came into it. They are just slaves. You and Deborah are different. You are more like one of us.”

  “We’re all the same,” she said quietly. “Maybe it’s just that when you don’t know people, when you don’t mix with them, they seem like they different. But we’re all the same,” she repeated.

  “The pain I would feel if you had taken Deborah away from me and sold her is the pain any mother would feel, whether she work in the house or in the field, whether she is pure black or she mixed with white. And the pain Deborah felt when Jethro flogged her is the same pain that the field slaves feel when they get flogged.”

  Thomas thought about that for a long time. Years of prejudice battled with the truth of what she was saying and finally he admitted, “I suppose you’re right, Sarah.”

  “I know I right.”

  Two months later

  Deborah looked around the shop with appreciation. Deborah’s Health and Beauty Shop and Sarah's Sewing Emporium were doing well. She had just got a shipment of new herbal teas which she displayed in large glass jars ready to sell in smaller portions to her customers. The soaps she had made would soon need to be restocked as there were only a few bars left and she was expecting a shipment from France. She smiled at that. Who would have believed that she, who had been a slave just months ago, would now be ordering soaps and perfumes from France for her own shop?

  At first they were regarded with a bit of wariness by the merchants on their street. After all it was not common for two free colored women to own a shop in Town. However one day, a distraught woman had
run into the shop asking for herbs to help her daughter who was suffering from a terrible tummy ache and nothing would help her. Deborah made up a small packet of herbs and gave her instructions how to prepare the tea. The next day the woman came back to thank her and tell her that the tea had worked. After that incident the merchants’ wives began to patronize their shop. They had also got to know some of the slaves of the merchants in Town and a few free colored people that they could count on one hand.

  Jacko and Mamie were a tremendous help, even though Jacko only had the one hand Deborah was glad that the master had insisted on giving them to Sarah. It was not that she liked the idea of owning slaves but she could not imagine how they would handle the heavy lifting or how she would have time to make her soaps and work in the shop as well without them.

  Deborah was just about to lock the door for the day when Jacko came in from running some errands and said: “Mistress Sarah, I just heard that they having a Quaker meeting tomorrow night at the Brown’s boarding house."

  "It must be like the one Jethro told us about,” she said.

  "Yes. A man and woman named George and Margaret Baxter are staying with them and they tell me to invite you all to the meeting tomorrow night. It’s to start at nine so that some of the slaves could sneak out when the masters gone to sleep.”

  "So late? You think it safe to go Jacko?” asked Sarah.

  “Yes. I can take you all.”

  Deborah was curious to hear more from this group of people who were bold enough to speak out against the treatment of slaves and she was happy to know that they were being included by their new friends. She hoped they could explain more about what Jethro had told them. Now that she was free from slavery, she was more willing to hear about being free from sin.

  "Let's go and hear them, ma," she urged. Sarah was reluctant since she didn't want to get into any trouble.

  "Alright, we will go."

  The Next Night

  Jacko, Deborah, Sarah and Mamie walked quietly down the road to the Brown's boarding house. Since it was late and a day in the week the roads were fairly quiet and thankfully there was no moon to draw attention to their presence.

  Deborah and Sarah were a bit nervous as they did not usually go out at night. In fact this was the first time that they had been on the streets after dark and they were glad that Jacko was with them. His size was enough to deter anyone from attacking them, even with the one hand.

  Nevertheless Deborah was glad when they arrived at the boarding house and knocked. One of the Brown’s servants opened the door and led them into a large parlor that was lit by several lamps and had about fifteen people already there sitting around on sofas and chairs that were pulled from the dining room while some of the slaves sat on the floor. They were a mixed group, a few whites, about ten black slaves and about four free coloreds including them.

  Doreen Brown introduced them to the Baxters and Deborah and Sarah were surprised when the attractive, well dressed white couple, came and hugged them warmly in greeting.

  They shared that they were on their way to America and were catching a boat the next day. Deborah wondered if they were going to Carolina. The thought brought Richard back to mind, with an ache that dulled a bit more each day. She would never forget the time that they had together but she knew that she had to move on with her life. After all he might already be married and she would probably never see him again.

  After waiting a few minutes for any latecomers to arrive, they began to sing a hymn softly which Deborah and Sarah had never heard before, but felt soothed by the quiet song.

  After the hymn, George began by saying: “One of the main reasons the Quakers are not welcome in Barbados is because we do not condone slavery. The Anglican Church has not done anything to help the slaves and in fact they have sought to justify it by quoting from the Bible where Noah cursed Canaan, the son of Ham.”

  “Who is Ham?” Sarah asked.

  “Do you know anything of the Bible?” The wife asked kindly.

  “Not a lot. When the master’s children were taught I used to hear a little of it.”

  They went on to explain about Noah and that Ham was one of Noah’s sons who did something that was so abominable to him that Noah cursed Ham’s son, Canaan and said he would be a slave to his brothers.

  “Many people believe that Ham was cursed and since Africans are one of the races that descended from Ham, they apply the curse to that race and that is what they have used to justify slavery. However Noah cursed Canaan and the African race did not descend from Canaan.”

  “God loves all of us, whether we are slave or free, black or white. He loves you so much that he sent his son Jesus to die for you so that you can be free.”

  “But I free now,” insisted one woman. She was one of the few free colored women who lived in the city.

  “Some of you may have been set free by your master; others may have had to sell themselves to buy their freedom and thank God, you are now free from slavery.” Deborah’s guilt made her feel that they were talking directly to her and inside she cringed in shame because she was one of those who had sold themselves for freedom.

  “But you are only free from one master.”

  “What you mean?” the woman asked.

  “Anyone who sins is a slave to sin.” Deborah and Sarah looked at each other. That is what Jethro had told them.

  “It is the masters who are slaves to sin,” accused a dark skinned woman. “That is why they so evil!” she declared. There were nods of agreement all around from the other slaves.

  “But it is not only them. We are all slaves to sin. In the past some of you women may have been forced to sleep with your master even if he had a wife and some of you may be doing it now.” A number of women, Sarah included, lowered their eyes.

  “I’m sure your conscience told you it was wrong. Before, you may not have had any choice but for those of you who are free, you do. Think about how their wives must have felt knowing that their husbands were sleeping with you. I’m sure that many of them tried to take that out on you in many horrible ways and you may have hated them for it, and understandably so, but we’re supposed to love our enemies,” said Margaret.

  “That is a hard thing,” said one man who still bore the stripes of his beatings on his back.

  “Yes,” agreed the husband. “But the good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. God will help you.”

  “You said that Jesus died so that we can be free. How is that?” asked Deborah since Jethro had not been able to explain it to her satisfaction before.

  “The Bible says that the wages of sin is death. But rather than us receiving the wages of our sin, Jesus died in our place and received the wages for us. This was his gift to us and if you believe that and accept his gift you will be free and sin shall no longer be your master.”

  They then shared a story of a woman who was caught in adultery and a crowd wanted to stone her for her sin so they brought her to Jesus to see what he would do. Jesus challenged any of them who had no sin to throw the first stone and when everyone left, recognizing that they all had sin in their lives, Jesus told her to go and sin no more. His love for her gave him compassion so rather than condemn her, he gave her the opportunity to change the way she lived.

  Go and sin no more. Those words reverberated in both Deborah and Sarah as they left the meeting with much on their minds to think about.

  Chapter 27

  As Deborah locked the door behind them, Sarah headed to the kitchen where she lit the fire and put on the kettle to make some herbal tea to soothe her head. Thoughts were swirling around in it and giving her a headache. Deborah joined her and asked how she was when she saw her rubbing her temples.

  “I’m real confused, child. Long ago my mother told me that she refused to sleep with an overseer and she got whipped for that and then it didn’t matter if she refused or not because he took what he wanted and that is how she had me. When I first went to the plantation I was innocent so when Master Thom
as told me to come to his room, I was frightened to go but I was even more frightened that he would flog me so I went.”

  “He was good to me and I liked to be with him. To tell the truth I never thought about how the mistress felt. Then she started to treat me bad and the worse she treated me, the gladder I was that he preferred me to her.”

  “Ma, you didn’t have any choice. But I had a choice. Richard gave me a choice and I didn’t have to take it. I didn’t have to go to his bed. I knew that he was engaged and I knew that it was wrong and I still did it. I’m worse than you.”

  “We both sinners. There is no bad sin and worse sin, all is the same. If I want to serve Master Jesus I goin’ have to stop serving Master Thomas because one of the things they said is that you can’t serve two masters.” Sarah sounded grieved at the thought of giving up Thomas and Deborah realized that she genuinely loved him.

  Deborah could understand how she felt. For the first time she was glad that Richard had gone back to Carolina so that she would not have to make the hard decisions that her mother was now grappling with.

  The water began to boil in the kettle and she got up to make them both a cup of chamomile tea which would help them to sleep. She added some skullcap to Sarah’s to ease her headache which was probably caused by tension or perhaps it was guilt. Her own guilt plagued her. She had not been interested in hearing Jethro when he told them they could be free from sin. The only thing she had cared about was being free from slavery. Now as she sipped her tea her conscience reminded her of the things she had done, the hatred she had had in her heart, especially for William, choosing to sleep with Richard for her freedom and she knew that she had to deal with them if she wanted to be really free.