[Alabama Summer 01.0] Where I Belong

by J. Daniels

  I knew under law, she was facing up to four years of jail time for having a minor in the car with her. And I figured I’ll have a damn good chance of getting full custody of Nolan. But I wanted to hear it out loud. I needed to hear those words. I wanted certainty.

  I nod at Rollins, thanking him before walking back toward Luke and Tessa.

  She is watching me while he is watching her. And by the look on both their faces, they still aren’t talking.

  “I’m going to stay at Mom and Dad’s tonight with Nolan. Did you drive here or did Mia?”

  “I did. I’ll meet you at home.” She turns on her heel without giving Luke a glance.

  “Tessa, come on. Will you at least talk to me for a minute?” Luke calls out.

  She hears him, but she doesn’t respond, not even with a look over her shoulder.

  He runs his hands down his face and lets out a grunt behind them. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man. I’m glad Nolan’s okay.” He walks away looking defeated, which is not a look he wears often. Especially pertaining to women.

  I feel bad for the guy.

  I talk to some other officers before finally walking to the truck.

  Mia is holding Nolan against her chest in the front seat, both of them asleep. I open her door and pry him out of her hands so that I can put him in his car seat. She stirs at the loss of his weight on her.

  “Hey.” She places her hand on my cheek after I settle into the driver’s seat. “Are you okay?”

  I turn my face into her palm and kiss it. “I am now.”

  She doesn’t ask me any questions on the drive back to my parents’ house. It’s as if she knows I need the silence right now. My brain is working out the possible scenarios that could’ve transpired tonight. All of them involving Nolan injured somehow. My grip keeps tightening on the wheel, and every time it does, Mia tightens her hold on my hand. She keeps her other hand on the back of my neck, massaging it gently and relieving the tension that is beginning to permanently set in.

  When we get to the house, I carry Nolan inside and lay him down in the middle of the bed he sleeps in when he spends the night here. I can’t leave him. Not yet. So I sit on the edge of his bed and watch his chest rise and fall.

  I could’ve lost him.

  I’d never be able to watch him sleep again. I’d never hear his husky voice ringing throughout the house or see him slaying invisible dragons. I’d have three years of memories to live off of for the rest of my life, and it wouldn’t be enough. He is my world, and now because of his mother’s reckless decision, he’s all mine. I’ll never have to miss another moment with him. I’ll never have to beg to see my son on days that aren’t technically mine. And I feel like a complete shit for feeling slightly grateful for the events that unfolded tonight.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  I have no idea how long I sit there, but when I eventually get up and turn around, Mia is leaning against the doorframe. I walk over to her and she wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face to my chest.

  “You know if you want to talk about it, I’m here.” She turns her face up and I kiss her forehead.

  “I’m glad it happened. How fucked up is that?”

  Her hands grab my face. “You’re not glad it happened. You’d never want Nolan to be in any sort of danger. The fact that you’ll probably never have to split your time with him again because of Angie’s poor judgment is a small silver lining. But Nolan’s well-being is the only real thing that matters to you. You’d give up all your time with him if it meant keeping him safe. I know you would.”

  I love you.

  The words burn the back of my throat, aching to be released.

  I have no idea how long it will take to get Nolan’s custody arrangement sorted out. And I can’t take him to Georgia until that happens. The legal system takes its fucking time when you want it to hurry the hell up. And Mia may have to leave me before I can take him out of the state. Plus, I’ll need to get a job lined up out there. It could be weeks, months before I’m with her again. And I won’t make this harder on her. So I swallow those same three words again, not letting them out. Not yet.

  I bend down and lift her by her ass, prompting her to wrap her legs around my waist. “I need you,” I whisper against her lips.

  “You have me.”

  I carry her into her bedroom and drop her in the middle of the bed. “Take all of that off.” She sits up and pulls her dress over her head, revealing herself to me in only a pair of white panties. “Fuck. I need to be inside you, angel.”

  She sits back on her hands, pushing her perfect tits out and teasing me with them. “I’m waiting.”

  I practically rip my shirt off, and when I start loosening my belt, she lies back and slips her hand into the front of her panties.

  “Jesus, Mia.”

  I step out of my pants and move over her, letting my cock drag up the length of her body.

  “Get in me,” she pleads, her hand still working between us and her eyes rolling closed.

  “Not yet. I need to taste you first.”

  Her eyes shoot open with that flirtatious glint and her hand wraps around my cock. “So do I.”

  Her panties are torn from her body before I pick her up and position her over me so that she’s straddling my face. I feel her warm breath tickling my cock as I nip at the soft skin of her inner thigh. “Those pretty lips of yours better find themselves wrapped around my dick in two seconds.”

  Her soft laugh fills the room. “And if they don’t?”

  I lick up her length, not being able to hold out any longer. Her taste fills my mouth and her moan vibrates against my lips. I savor her with my tongue, letting everything fade out around me. I’m a junkie getting his fix. But instead of the hit dulling out my senses, I feel my pulse quicken and my bones begin to vibrate. I’m a fucking king between her legs, and when she finally swallows my cock, I grab onto her hips and bury my face into her pussy.

  She releases it with a pop and presses down on my pelvis with her hands, her back bowing in pleasure. “Oh, my God. I’m not going to be able to focus if you keep doing that.” Her voice breaks with another moan when I don’t let up, and her hand takes over where her mouth was.

  I groan against her clit before biting down on it gently. She gasps and I release it. “Bend down and suck my dick, Mia. I’m coming in that mouth tonight.”

  “Then you’re going to have to let up a little.”

  Yeah, that’s not happening.

  I smile against her. “Nothing could pull me away from your pussy, angel. Put my dick in your mouth and don’t be fucking gentle about it. I want to feel the back of your throat when I’m coming.”

  I feel her weight shift and her tongue licks the head of my cock. I’m about to tell her not to tease me when she deep throats me like a fucking champion and scraps her teeth along my shaft.

  “Mia!” I grunt out, digging my fingers into her ass.

  She sucks me like her life depends on it, and I flatten my tongue against her clit, stroking it in a rhythm that makes her lips vibrate against my cock. And then it’s about getting her off before me. I alternate between sucking on her clit and fucking her with my tongue, pulling her hips down so hard I’m practically being smothered. I feel her pulse against my tongue, and when she releases my cock and digs her nails into my hip, I know I have her.

  She rocks against me, fucking my face and riding out her orgasm while she softly chants my name. I press my lips once more to her clit before she collapses on top of me, her face now resting on my thigh.

  “Sorry. Just give me a minute,” she pants, sliding off my stomach and settling between my legs. She glances up at the smug face I’m wearing and wraps her hand around my cock. “Still want to come in my mouth?” she questions before pressing her lips to my shaft.

  I groan as she slides down. “Stop talking and suck my cock, baby.”

  Her cheek twitches with a smile. “Yes, Officer Kelly.”

  THE BED IS jolting
underneath me, bringing me out of my dream. A tiny laugh fills the room and prompts me to open my eyes.

  Nolan is jumping on the bed and giggling at himself, and when he sees my eyes on him, he hops over toward me and collapses on my stomach.

  I grunt as his elbow connects with a few of my ribs.

  Jeez. How can such a tiny body inflict so much pain?

  After recovering, I rustle his hair with my hand, rubbing his back with the other. “You are a little ball of energy in the morning. Are you hungry?”

  He slides off me and scoots off the bed. “I want pamcakes.”

  His husky little voice is hoarser in the morning. That and his crazy hair are the only things giving away that he has just woken up. He certainly isn’t moving as slow as I know I will be. Even off the bed, he is jumping around like a jack rabbit.

  I sit up and rub my eyes with both hands. “Go wake up Aunt Tessa and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

  His little feet quickly take him out of the room and down the hallway while I get dressed for the day. My phone beeps on the nightstand just as I am pulling my hair back into a pony.

  Ben: Is the maniac awake yet?

  Me: Are you kidding? He’s running on full speed already. :) We’re getting ready to make pancakes.

  Ben: He’s probably psyched out of his mind getting to spend the day with you. I’m jealous.

  Me: You’ll get me tonight, don’t worry.

  Ben: Bet your ass I will. I’ll see you around six.

  Me: Can’t wait.

  I tuck my phone into my pocket and walk out into the kitchen. Tessa is rummaging through the cabinets while Nolan is playing with her phone on the couch. I snicker at the sight of him browsing iTunes like he’s done it a million times.

  “Crapola. We don’t have any pancake mix,” she says, closing the doors she had opened and turning toward me. “My parents really should have stocked up before they decided to take a six month trip to Europe. I’m extremely disappointed in them.”

  I chuckle and grab my keys off the counter. “Yes, how dare they not provide you with food for half the year while they go on vacation.”

  She scowls at me playfully, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge.

  “I’ll run to the store and get some. Do we need anything else?”

  “We’ll need some more milk with Nolan here. Other than that, I think we’re good.” She walks over to the couch and plops down next to him. “Can you not buy apps please? How do you even know my password?” She leans her head into his and monitors his actions on her phone.

  I laugh under my breath as I walk toward the door. “All right. I’ll be back in a little while. Hold down the fort, Sir Nolan.”

  He shoots his dimples at me before returning to purchasing apps on Tessa’s phone.

  I’m waiting in the checkout line at the grocery story after having grabbed the pancake mix, some milk, and a dragon coloring book I found near the greeting cards when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of my pocket and place my basket at my feet, seeing my aunt’s name flashing on the screen.

  “Hey, Aunt Mae.”

  “Mia, sweetie, you need to come home.” She sniffs loudly, and my heart immediately drops to the floor next to my basket.

  I’m out the door, running across the parking lot within seconds. “What’s happened? Is it that stupid cold she had? Does she have a fever now or something?”

  I knew it was more than a cold. Fuck! My tires screech as I pull out of my parking space and drive toward the exit for the highway.

  My aunt sobs through the phone.

  “Aunt Mae, tell me what’s going on. Can I talk to her?” I hear a faint beeping sound through the phone in between my aunt’s cries.

  She’s in the hospital. That’s what that sound is.

  “She was fine. I don’t know what happened. I went to wake her up this morning and she wouldn’t respond to me.” Her voice cracks and she starts crying harder. “She won’t wake up, Mia. The doctors are waiting for you to get here. Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

  I’m crying now, sobbing uncontrollably. I have to keep wiping my eyes to be able to see the road in front of me. The hand holding the phone to my ear is shaking so badly, my aunt’s cries are fading in and out.

  I know what she means. My mom has a DNR. The doctors are waiting for me to get there before they take her off the machines. My mom is dying and I’m not there.

  I haven’t been there for her.

  “I’m on my way. Tell her I’m on my way!”

  “Honey, she’s unconscious.”

  “Tell her I’m coming!” I hang up the phone and drop it somewhere, anywhere. I don’t give a shit about my phone right now.

  My attention is on the road and nothing else as I fly down the highway. The speed limit means nothing to me. Nor do the other cars on the road. I swerve in and out of traffic, taking the median occasionally when I can’t get around someone. The only thing I care about is getting to her in less than four hours.

  Four fucking hours. Why the hell did I leave her?

  I knew in my gut that I shouldn’t have left for the summer. I was selfish. I was more concerned with having an amazing summer with my best friend than taking care of my own mother. And now she’s dying and I’m not there. I wasn’t there when she got that fucking cold. I wasn’t there last night when she probably started feeling bad, and then the bad turned to worse sometime in the middle of the night. She probably called out for me in her weak voice, too weak to alert my aunt. And now I’m two hundred miles away from her and I can’t get to her fast enough.

  The world blurs in front of me.

  The image of my mother in a hospital bed fills my thoughts as I speed down the highway. I only stop when I absolutely have to, and it’s only to pump gas. I don’t even run inside the gas station to use the restroom. But I do grab my phone that had slid underneath the back seat. I have a few missed calls from Tessa, but I ignore them for now. I dial Ben’s number and it goes straight to voicemail.

  “Babe, my mom is dying. I’m on my way to Fulton now.” I pause and take in two shaky breaths, wiping underneath my eyes. “I know you can’t be here with me, but can you at least call me? I just, I need to hear your voice right now. I’m not ready to say goodbye to her. I don’t really know how I’m going to get through this.” I blink, sending the tears streaming down my face. “Please call me.” I end the call, keeping my eyes on the pump. As soon as the numbers stop rolling over, I yank it out of my car and get back on the road.

  How I manage to get to Fulton in two and a half hours, I’ll never understand. But I do by some miracle. Of course, I did break the speed limit by a long shot the entire way here. I pull my phone out of my pocket as I run up to the entrance. I need to tell Tessa where I am. She’s probably worried sick right now, and I can only imagine how hungry Nolan must be. After four rings, her voicemail picks up and I curse under my breath.

  Is nobody answering phones today?

  “Hey, it’s me. I’m so sorry I missed your calls, but I’m in Fulton at the hospital. It’s my mom. She’s dying, Tessa.” I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. “I got the call from my aunt when I was at the grocery store and I just drove straight here. Can you tell Ben to call me? Or text me or something? I tried calling him but he didn’t answer.” I remember the groceries I left on the floor by the checkout counter. “Oh, and tell Nolan I’m sorry about the pancakes. I’ll make him some the next time I see him.”

  I tuck my phone away and run into the hospital, stopping at the information desk. I’m directed toward the ICU, and as I run off the elevators, I see my aunt.

  She’s pacing outside the room, glancing down at her watch repetitively when she turns toward my footsteps. She wraps her arms around me and I cry against her shoulder.

  “Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry this happened. I swear to God she was fine yesterday. I would’ve called you if I thought it was serious.”

  I pull away from her and look into the room. “Do the docto
rs know what happened? She was doing so well. I just, I don’t understand. She was beating it. She was going to beat it.”

  I watch as the nurse jots something down in my mom’s chart, her eyes shifting from the monitor to her clipboard. Just then, a man walks over to where my aunt and I are standing and holds his hand out to me. He’s wearing a white lab coat and an apologetic expression.

  “Miss Corelli? I’m Dr. Stevens, the attending that’s been looking after your mom.”

  I shake his hand weakly, my eyes straining to look at him because they want to stay glued on my mom. Now that I’m here, she has my full attention.

  “I’m sure you’re aware of how sick your mom was. The treatments seemed to have been working, but these things can happen. The slightest infection that wouldn’t affect a healthy person can really be detrimental to someone with her condition.”

  I start crying again. “She told me a few days ago that she had a cold, but she said it wasn’t a big deal. But I knew it was. I should’ve been here.”

  My aunt’s arm wraps around my shoulder as I blink heavily, sending the tears streaming down my face.

  Dr. Stevens puts his hand on my shoulder. “Darling, there’s really nothing you could’ve done. The cancer was just too strong and your mom couldn’t fight it anymore. She’s not in any pain now.” He looks into her room briefly before turning back to me. “You take as much time as you need, okay?”

  I nod and give him a weak smile before walking into the room.

  My aunt stays outside, giving me the privacy I need, and the nurse steps out as well. I sit down in the chair and grab my mom’s hand. She’s pale but her hand is warm, and she looks peaceful. Content. Like she’s ready to let go. I bend down and press my lips to her knuckles.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  I stay with her for hours, listening to the monitors and the light chatter of the people out in the hallway. I never once let go of her hand, not even when the nurses come in to take her vitals. I talk to her like she’s awake and watching me, listening intently to my voice. I tell her all about Ben and Nolan, and how I’ve fallen in love with the boy that I’d once hated more than anything. I tell her that I wished she could meet the man he is now, because I know she would love him. And I tell her that I want to have babies just like Nolan with him. Dimpled little versions of Ben with maybe a few of my features, but mostly his. The tears come back when I realize she’ll never see me on my wedding day, or meet any of her grandchildren. But I promise her that my children will know all about their grandmother and how beautiful and kind she was.