Boring Is The New Black

by Megan Bryce

  Smeyesing.

  He’d been working with models too long if he knew that term.

  But he thought it with a happy sigh and a damn wasn’t he the luckiest man alive grin.

  She sighed, too. But it wasn’t a happy one. It was worried.

  Flynn said, “We don’t have to tell anyone.”

  Nicole rolled away from him and stared up at the ceiling.

  She shook her head. “I’ve warned you, and I think that is all I can do about it. And I’ve decided that I’m not going to worry. I was so worried about the store. And then we did it. And it was nothing. Worrying is overrated.”

  Flynn nodded. “Yes. I decide, too. No worrying. Not that I was worrying before but I like how it sounds. I decide.”

  Nicole flicked her eyes at him. “Are you making fun of me?”

  “No! Am I? I don’t think I am. I just like how that sounds. I decide.”

  His phone rang and Flynn lunged to the nightstand with a muttered thank God that turned into an oh, God when he checked who was calling.

  He answered with a loud and boisterous, “Hi, Mom!” that made Nicole smile.

  Don’t shout into the phone, Flynn. I like my hearing just the way it is.

  He pointed at the phone and mouthed to Nicole, “My mom!”

  Nicole said, in a normal tone of voice, “Tell her hello from me.”

  Who was that? A girl?

  “It’s my boss. Because I’m at work. Early start today.”

  Nicole? Say hello from me. Say it.

  “My mom says hi.”

  Nicole leaned forward. “Hello, Lisa.”

  Oh, Nicole! Hello! Is my son working hard for you?

  One corner of Nicole’s lips turned up. “He always does.”

  Oh, that’s good. You two should come to dinner again, tell us how the website is doing. Tell Flynn to bring you to dinner on Saturday.

  “I’m right here, Mom. I put you on speakerphone.”

  Take me off speaker, take me off speaker!

  “Why? You were talking to both of us.”

  Because I sound funny on speaker. Take me off speaker right this instant, Flynn.

  “Okay, I’m going to go. We’ll see you Saturday for dinner.”

  Wait. She said yes?

  “She just nodded yes at me. And she’s doing it again. That’s a yes for dinner. We are go for dinner.”

  Oh no, what am I going to wear?

  “Bye, Mom.”

  Flynn put his phone back and stared at Nicole. “Was that you not worrying about my mom blabbing to her neighbor or her dentist or the grocery store bagger that you’re going to be at her house for dinner on Saturday?”

  She nodded. Took a deep breath.

  “Yes.”

  “And how’s that working for you?”

  “Pretty sure it was a mistake.”

  “I’m going to call my mom back. Tell her not to tell anyone.”

  Nicole nodded. Took a deep breath.

  And said, “Okay.”

  Thirty-Two

  After Nicole’s brush with not worrying, and realizing that was never ever going to go well for her, she texted Victoria before she could change her mind.

  Call me when you get a minute.

  She didn’t expect an answer right away so she was surprised to hear her phone ding with Victoria’s reply.

  That’ll be next year. Important?

  Kind of. It can wait.

  Do I need to peel the skin off F?

  Nicole tried to slow her suddenly racing heartbeat. No! He’s great.

  I’ll try to get a minute at lunch.

  Nicole wrote, OK. Anytime, so she shouldn’t have been surprised that she was in the bathroom when her friend called her.

  She didn’t dare not answer.

  “I was sure you would call tomorrow. Maybe next week.”

  Victoria’s tired voice sounded dejected. “I needed a break. It’s been a rough week.”

  “I’m sorry. The moron’s footwear troubling you even more than usual?”

  Victoria chuckled softly. “I want to say that he improved unexpectedly. But then he turned up in flip-flops with white athletic socks.”

  “No, he didn’t!”

  “Oh, yes he did. He looked like he had, I don’t know, two really weird toes. Like a camel hoof.”

  Nicole snickered. “Are you saying that he had camel toes?”

  Victoria barked a laugh. “Well, that’s a new definition but that’s what it looked like. I think to myself everyday that he can’t possibly get any worse. And then he does.”

  “No wonder you needed a break. The horror!”

  Nicole could hear the smile in her friend’s voice. “You can’t imagine. And while I would like to lay all my problems at Jace’s feet, Dad’s not doing well out here either.”

  Nicole pushed her fist into her belly and whispered, “I’m sorry, Victoria.”

  “I thought it would be okay. I thought if we had the nurse pretend she was his secretary and that we made him an office out here, that it would be familiar enough. He’s been to San Francisco plenty of times.”

  Nicole had never spent a lot of time with Victoria’s father but had heard how at first he couldn’t remember where he was going, or how to get somewhere he’d been a hundred times before.

  How he couldn’t remember where he’d put something down yesterday but things that had happened twenty years ago were fresh and new. And he relived it over and over. Talked about it over and over. Stuck in his own personal hell.

  Victoria said, “He’s so confused and he can’t remember. He thinks I’m my mother.”

  “I hope your mother during the good years.”

  “Would that be better? I wonder. But no.”

  “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

  “No. But it’s nice to talk to you.” Victoria sighed. “It’s nice to talk to a woman. Men, men, men as far as the eye can see.”

  “And you’re complaining?”

  “About these men? Yes.” Victoria chuckled evilly. “Although they do have good taste in music. But let’s not give any more stupid men any more of our limited time. What did you need to talk about?”

  Nicole chewed on her lip. “It’s just more stupid men. We can talk about it later.”

  Victoria sighed out a long, tired breath.

  “Let’s do it now. Who knows when I can get away from the zoo again.”

  “It’s about your dad.”

  “My dad? What could you possibly–” Victoria words cutoff and her breath sped up and she said harshly, “Scott.”

  “We can talk about it later.”

  Silence. Nothing.

  “Victoria?”

  Still more nothing, until Victoria said very quietly, “Are you on my side?”

  “I love you, and I will always have your back.”

  She did, and she would. Victoria and Gia had been her sisters for too long for that to ever go away.

  Victoria said, “Except now you have a brother.”

  “I asked him.”

  More silence, so Nicole whispered, “He said he didn’t cheat on you. I believe him.”

  “Maybe now’s not a good time to talk about this.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry.”

  “I gotta go. Can only deal with ten problems at a time, an eleventh will just put me over the edge.”

  Nicole said, “Okay, call me when you can,” but Victoria had already hung up, leaving Nicole sitting on her porcelain throne.

  Cold, inside and out.

  Thirty-Three

  Flynn made sure Nicole wasn’t coming over that evening before heading out to his parent’s house.

  This talk needed some eye contact.

  Some sit down and listen to these rules before I have to call upon the hammer of Thor to knock some sense into you.

  Harder to do with his parents than he was expecting, mainly because the minute he walked in the door his mom was alternating fussing over him and berating him fo
r not bringing Nicole.

  “Mom. Stop. Where’s Dad?”

  “Where do you think?”

  “Dad! Can you come up here?”

  Mike trooped up the stairs. “You missed dinner.”

  “It’s okay. I came to talk to you and mom.”

  They exchanged a look and Lisa said innocently, “About what?”

  “I think you know about what. Sit down.”

  Mike’s eyebrows rose at the tone, but they both sat down on the couch.

  Flynn put his hands behind his back and paced in front of them, looking down at the carpet and trying to get his thoughts in order.

  Lisa nudged Mike with her shoulder and wiggled her eyebrows.

  Mike said, “Son–”

  “Okay, this is how it’s going to go.” Flynn stopped pacing and turned toward them. “I am dating Nicole.”

  Lisa jumped to her feet. “I knew it!” She turned to Mike. “I told you it was too early for him to be at work.”

  “I like her, okay? And for some reason–” Flynn shook his head because he just couldn’t believe it “–she likes you guys. She agreed to come to dinner again after the last fiasco. And there will be no more fiascos.”

  Mike said, “That seems unlikely but okay.”

  “I mean it. No going to the kitchen to be alone with thoughts about her mother. Gross. No more talk of People, and squealing, for God’s sake. No squealing.”

  “You should have warned me.”

  “You’re right. That’s why I’m warning you now.”

  Lisa made a face. “I can try. What if she just casually mentions someone famous?”

  “Then you will casually not squeal.”

  Mike looked at his wife doubtfully. “You ask a lot from your mom, kid. What are we getting in return?”

  “What are you–” Flynn closed his open mouth with a snap. “How about I keep coming home for dinner? How about I keep fixing your computer for you? How about I get to keep my insanely beautiful girlfriend! How about you get to stop asking if I’ve met a girl yet!”

  Mike said, “He makes some good points.”

  Lisa nodded her head at her husband. “He does, and I’m willing to try. I just need. . .”

  “A game plan?”

  “Yes!” She held her hands up to Flynn. “I understand the no squealing, I do. But what am I supposed to do instead? Can I go to the kitchen?”

  “And stick your head in the oven?”

  Mike half stood. “Hey! Don’t talk to your mother like that.”

  Flynn shoved his hands in his hair, turning to stare at the TV.

  “Sorry. I’m sorry. You guys are stressing me out. This is never going to work.”

  Lisa pushed her husband back down, joining him on the couch.

  “It’s okay. He didn’t mean it,” she said quietly and Mike said, “I don’t care if he didn’t mean it. I’m going to knock his block off if he does it again.”

  Flynn spun back around. “I know, you can go to the bathroom. Flush the toilet and run the water and squeal into a towel.”

  Mike thought about it, then nodded. “That might work.”

  Lisa said, “Okay, I can do that. What about your dad?”

  Mike shifted in his seat. “Nah. I don’t need a game plan.”

  Lisa said, “Oh, yeah. Right,” and Flynn said, “You were real smooth.”

  “What? It was Nikita sitting at my dining room table, it took me by surprise is all, and it’s not going to happen again.”

  Flynn asked, dead-eyed, “It’s not?”

  “One and done.”

  “Because her name is what now?”

  “Nicole, I know. She just looks like Nikita. When she smiles. And sounds like her when she laughs.”

  Lisa rolled her eyes. “I’ll give him a safety pin. He can keep it in his pocket and jab himself in the leg when the resemblance is too much to bear.”

  Mike said, “I’m not going to– Yeah, okay, that’s a good idea.”

  Flynn nodded between them. “Okay. Okay. We got a game plan.” He held out his hand. “Seal the deal, Mom.”

  His mother looked at his hand, then chuckled as she shook it. “I will try my best not to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend. Who happens to be Nicole Bissette. Squee!” She laughed. “It doesn’t count if I say it and not do it, right? And, if I squee when Nicole is not around, do I make a sound?”

  “Yes.” Flynn held his hand out to his dad. “This is going to be a disaster.”

  Mike grabbed and shook, squeezing Flynn’s hand hard enough to make him squint with pain.

  “You’ve given it your best, son. But yes, it will be a disaster.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  Mike let go of his hand. “Just doing my best to prepare you.”

  “Yeah. I’m prepared for disaster, I don’t need any help with that department. And hey, will you talk to Barrett? Because if he talks about Nicole’s rack again, I will have to kill him.”

  Lisa gasped. “He said what? Any son of mine talking disrespectfully about a woman. . .”

  She jumped to her feet, racing for the phone, and Mike said, “It’s all right. Your mother will kill him for you.”

  Mike took a deep breath and leaned back against the couch.

  “Is she really worth all this trouble, son?”

  “Yeah, Dad. She’s worth any trouble.”

  Mike made a face. “Just because she’s beautiful and famous?”

  “Because she makes me feel like I’m Superman. Even when I’m locked in a closet waiting for her to rescue me, I feel like I can save the world.”

  Mike blinked slowly. “Do I want to know about the closet?”

  Flynn shook his head. “No.”

  His dad frowned. He nodded his head.

  And then he pushed himself from the couch and patted his son on the shoulder.

  “Well, then. See you guys on Saturday. Don’t be late for dinner.”

  Thirty-Four

  Nicole was tucked in Flynn’s bed Friday night and not paying much attention to the movie, although he was enjoying watching Thor.

  I mean, Thor was fun to look at. And, Nicole had to admit, there was Loki.

  Loki was always distracting when he was on screen.

  But there was lots of room left in her brain for worrying.

  About Victoria. All alone out in San Francisco with her dad.

  Taking on too much and sounding like she was drowning in it.

  And Nicole heaping more on her at the worst possible time.

  She should have waited. Should have left it alone.

  She’d called Gia and told her to hound Victoria. Make sure she was okay. And that was all she could do right now about her best friend.

  There was also dinner tomorrow with the parents.

  Flynn was worried about it, which was making her worry about it.

  Not so much about the parents because she’d already met them.

  But now that they were dating. . . Well, there was more to worry about.

  Someone would get hold of the information soon. And then they’d start hounding every part of his life trying to find out who he was, where he came from.

  And then his adorable parents would start getting hounded and then they wouldn’t be happy to see her anymore.

  Nicole looked down at Flynn’s hand holding hers. Short, clean nails but not perfect and not polished.

  He wasn’t polished.

  And she could see the headlines already, tearing him apart.

  And then he wouldn’t be smiling at her over a movie either.

  But she wouldn’t look at the headlines and she wouldn’t read the comments.

  She wouldn’t.

  And she wouldn’t let him either.

  She couldn’t.

  Nicole was incredibly grateful for the distraction from worrying when her phone rang and it was Scott.

  “Hey, sis. Quick question. On a scale of one to ten, how horrifying is it that your sister came on to me?”

&n
bsp; Nicole sat up as she heard Colette’s voice, faint but snotty.

  Oh, you so wish.

  Scott ignored her to say, “I mean, I get that we’re not really related. No blood at least. But isn’t it: The sister of my sister is my sister?”

  The sister of your sister is your enemy. I am now!

  Nicole said, “It’s still pretty horrifying.”

  Scott sighed. “Another quick question. How old is she?”

  “She’s seventeen.”

  Nicole could hear Colette rolling her eyes.

  Why is everyone so hung up on that?

  Scott pulled the phone away from his mouth to say to Colette, “It’s a thing and it’s called underage. You’ll understand when you’re older. Or when some guy goes to jail because you told him you were nineteen.”

  He put the phone back up to say to Nicole, “Well, then, I think I found something that belongs to you and could you come get her?”

  I don’t belong to her.

  Scott said, “Jail bait. Hoo-haa-haa.”

  Oh, I can totally tell you’re related to Nicole.

  Nicole said, “How bad is it?”

  “She’s flying. I’ve crashed and burned.”

  Nicole sighed. “I’ll be right there.”

  She found them in the back of the club, side by side on a red velvet couch, both of their arms folded and both of them glaring at the other, unspeaking.

  Relief crossed Scott’s face when he saw her. Colette rolled her eyes and looked away.

  Scott jumped to his feet. “I’m sorry I had to call you but she was all over me and then she was Colette Bissette and then I needed a shower, stat. This is what I was talking about! We could be related to anybody here and we wouldn’t know it!”

  Colette deigned to look at her sister. “There is seriously something wrong with that side of your family. I always thought it was just you. But anytime anyone comes over to see if I’m okay, and I’m not, he says in this deep voice like he’s manly, ‘She’s seventeen, bro. Save your rescue for someone who can thank you for it.’ So not funny.”

  “So not,” Scott mimicked. “So thank you for coming so quickly.”

  He jerked his chin at Flynn standing quietly behind Nicole. “Who’s this?”

  Flynn reached around, holding his hand out. “Flynn. Hi.”

  Scott shook it reflexively, then looked at his watch. “Kind of late for a date, isn’t it? This the not-boyfriend?”