Caden (The Harlow Brothers Book 2)

by Brie Paisley

  Even if he got what he deserved, I’m still pissed off he showed his junk to her. Which is why I send a quick message to Cason letting him know Mike is now on our shit list. Poor Mike better watch his back. Taking a deep and soothing breath, I put away my phone. “Remind me to never piss you off or show my junk when you don’t want to see it.”

  She snickers loudly, but I don’t miss the flash of desire in her eyes. “Just call me the ball buster.”

  Chuckling with her, I take another drink of my beer. “It does fit you very nicely.”

  Watching her as she takes another drink, I still can’t believe I convinced her to stay with me, and as she pulls her legs up getting more comfortable, I realize she fits perfectly here. This is where she belongs. My chest tightens as I imagine her being here every single day for the rest of our lives. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

  “Like what?” I feign innocence.

  “Like … that,” she says as she moves her hand up and down.

  “I have no idea what you mean, small fry.” She shakes her head, but there’s still a smile on her gorgeous face. “Tell me about your family,” I say to try and lighten the mood again.

  For the next few hours, all we do is talk about our family. She tells me her mother’s name is Miranda, and her dad is Phillip. I listen intently as she tells me how they met, what they do, and how much they love living in Florida. She seems to have the perfect family, but I don’t miss the faraway look in her eyes when she recalls some of the stories from her childhood. I decide not to ask her about it since she’s opening up, and I don’t want her to stop. However I do scoot closer beside her, when she talks about her parents not being able to have children of their own. “That’s when I came into the picture. They adopted me when I was six months old, and they’re the best parents. It’s not fair they couldn’t give a life to a child of their own, but they never treated me like I was adopted.” She uses a finger to rub the top of her now empty beer bottle, and I take her free hand in mine. Using my thumb, I trace circles on the back of her hand as she continues to talk. “I guess that’s what hit me the hardest when they told me I was adopted. I thought I was theirs you know? I don’t know. It’s just …” She takes a deep breath as she glances up at me. “I felt like since I wasn’t biologically theirs that meant I didn’t really belong there. It sounds stupid, but at sixteen everything is already over exaggerated.”

  “It’s not stupid, Savannah. Never discount how you feel, but I will say just from listenin’ to you talk about them, it sounds like they love you very much and you them.”

  “Of course I love them. They’re my parents, but things changed after they told me. Our relationship changed and I hate it. Some days I wish I could go back and tell them to never tell me, but then again I’ve always felt like something was missing. Is that crazy? To know something is not there, but having no clue what it is?”

  “No, it’s not crazy.” It’s a simple answer, but it’s the truth. I know exactly what she’s talking about because I didn’t realize what was missing from my life until she came into the picture. Now that I know what it is and what she means to me, I can’t just give up on it. Maybe that’s why I understand her need to find her birth mother. If finding this woman can help my small fry feel whole again, I’ll be there every step of the way with her. “I was thinkin’,” I start, and her eyebrows raise. “What if I can help with findin’ your birth mother?”

  “You would do that?”

  “I’d do anythin’ for you, Savannah.” Our gaze holds, and all I see is her blue eyes searching for something in mine. I’m not sure what she’s looking for, but I hope she knows that I would do anything and everything to keep her.

  “Okay,” is all she says with a heavy breath, and I hope whatever she was looking for, she found it.

  “I can ask my brother, Carter, for help too. He’s a lawyer so he can check into getting’ your records from the adoption agency your parents used.”

  My chest swells with pride when she places her legs in my lap. It’s the most natural thing she could’ve done, and she has no idea how much I want to kiss her right now. Laying my free hand on her legs, she asks, “Exactly how many brothers do you have?”

  “Well there’s Carter, he’s the oldest, and then it’s me, Cason, Clark, and Caleb.”

  “How in the world did your mom keep up with five boys?”

  “Honestly,” I start and let out a laugh. “I really don’t know. But Mama sure does know how to use a wooden spoon.”

  “Now this you have to elaborate more on.” Propping my feet on the coffee table, I tell her all about my crazy family. Talking about how we all are together, she listens only letting out a laugh or showing me that pretty smile I love so much, every time I recall a funny story. “You’re family sounds amazing.”

  “We’re a bunch of crazies, but it all works out for us.”

  “Maybe one day I can meet them?”

  Jerking my head in her direction, I smirk seeing the shock in her eyes. “I’d love for you to meet them.” That’s a very distinctive plan for the future she just let out, and I hope she doesn’t regret it slipping out. Because I want her to meet my family. I already know they’ll love her, and I know Mama will hound me until I bring her over.

  “Yeah well, you make them sound like a super family, so I need to see it for myself.” Holding her gaze, I know what she’s trying to do. She’s trying to downplay what she said as if she really didn’t mean for it to come out.

  Reaching over, I cup her face and run my thumb across her cheek. “It’s alright to want to meet my family, Savannah.” Using my thumb, I run it along her bottom lip feeling the urge to kiss her until she begs me to stop. Leaning in, she holds still as I hover inches away from those delicious and soft lips of hers. “It’s alright to talk about a future with me,” I whisper before gently placing my lips over hers. Trying to take it slow, I tenderly kiss her, but I also want her to know how much I want her in my life. She doesn’t fight me and only gives in, kissing me back. My heart drums rapidly in my chest as I deepen the kiss, and I relish in the feel of her lips on mine. When her hands find my hair, I pull her closer so I can feel her more. This doesn’t seem real. This woman, this amazing and beautiful woman, is everything I want. She’s like a breath of air that I didn’t realize I needed, and when my tongue intertwines with hers, all the desire I have for her comes to the surface. It’s her taste, the way she caresses me with her tongue, and her fingers pulling me closer that almost send me over the edge. I want her with a force I can’t explain. It’s not just about the sex with her, no far from it. It’s wanting to show her how she makes me feel, and to show her nothing but pleasure.

  But I know the moment I lose her.

  It happens so suddenly that I get a little light headed.

  “Wait, Caden,” she says with a firm voice as she pushes me away. Trying to catch my breath, I watch the emotions run wild across her face. Desire, a bit of lust, but what I catch most is her fear. She’s scared, but I don’t understand why she’s afraid. Not making a move to stop her as she gets off the couch, I wait patiently for her to explain what the hell just happened. “I think we need to talk about what this is,” she says as she waves a hand back and forth between us. “I don’t want a relationship. I don’t do them, and I just want that to be clear.”

  Placing my feet on the floor, I lean down setting my elbows on my knees. “So what is this then?”

  She frowns as she says, “I … I don’t know. But I don’t want any labels on whatever this is.”

  Standing, I move in front of her. “So you admit it then? You’re admittin’ there’s somethin’ here, and you’re scared to find out what it is?”

  “No,” she says way too quickly for my liking. There’s no fucking way she doesn’t feel what I am. “I’m just saying no labels, no relationship, and whatever happens, happens.”

  Fuck buddies comes to mind, but I don’t say it out loud. “I don’t just randomly make out with my friends
, Savannah.” God just saying the word friends puts a bitter taste in my mouth. I don’t want to be just her fucking friend. I want her, all of her, and nothing less. Seeing she’s not going to give in, I decide I just have to continue to be patient. She’ll eventually come around. I hope. “I get what you’re puttin’ down, small fry. No labels and no serious relationship. We’ll just go with the flow.”

  All the fear I saw earlier slowly evaporates, and I wish she would just tell me why she’s so afraid to just let this happen with us. “Thank you.” Nodding, maybe this is what she needs right now. It’s hard not to push her for more when she clearly wants more from me, but as I gaze into those blue and green eyes, I have to do what she needs. I can’t force this, whatever this is, on her. “I’m … uh … I’m going to crash out,” she stammers, and I can only watch her as she walks away. Rubbing my chin, I wonder what it’ll take to make her realize what we have could be even more amazing if she’d let down those damn walls. Right before she walks into my room, to get in my bed without me, she looks back. “Goodnight, Caden.”

  “Night, small fry.” The sound of her shutting the door echoes through the apartment, and I can’t help but think that it also means she just shut me out.

  Literally and figuratively.

  Waking up in Caden’s bed is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. First, his bed must be made of clouds or something super soft. Second, I fell asleep quickly taking in his manly smell, and third, I forgot for a second what I did last night. I’m so conflicted about Caden Harlow. I’m not sure what to think about it. One second everything was going so well, very well actually, then I had to go and fuck it up. When he kissed me, my whole world felt as if it literally stopped. Nothing around me mattered, only his lips on mine. It was only his taste, his tongue against mine, and his hands on me that mattered.

  Then my damn head went crazy, and everything turned into shit.

  I’ll admit, I probably didn’t handle things as well as I should’ve, and I hated to see the disappointment laced in his eyes when I said I didn’t want anything serious with him. The thing is that’s what scares me the most. I want things with him that I’ve never wanted before, and when he touches me, kisses me, or fuck just looks at me a certain way I want to give up everything for him. That’s what freaks me out. How I could go from one extreme to giving it all up for him and not really caring what the outcome will be?

  I don’t want to lose myself if I do give him a real shot.

  I don’t want to give him my whole heart only to get burned in the end.

  It’s ridiculous that I feel this way. Caden hasn’t given me any reason at all not to trust him with my heart, but the way he calls out to my entire being is unlike anything I’ve ever known before. No man has ever made me feel one ounce of what I feel when I’m with Caden. He’s utterly consuming. Not to mention, he tends to keep me on my toes and surprises me at every turn. Just when I think I have him figured out, he does something unexpected. Like offering to help find my birth mother and how he really seemed to want to help find her. That soft side of him totally and completely threw me off my game. Maybe that’s why when he started talking about his family, I let it slip I wanted to meet them. I do want to meet the parents of this amazing and considerate man, but I hadn’t exactly wanted to let it be known.

  Regardless of how he makes me feel, there’s something about him that makes me hold back too. I’m not sure how I feel about him having so much power over me, or how much his kiss makes me want to do things that’ll keep us both up all night.

  Shaking my head at the predicament I’m in, I toss back the covers and get out of the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept in. Putting on some more suitable clothes, I walk out of Caden’s room and quickly take care of my bathroom business. As I walk out, I notice him sitting at the dining room table. I won’t lie and say my heart didn’t just skip a beat.

  Because it totally did.

  I’m in deep shit here.

  Trying to remember Kelsey’s advice, I stop over thinking and go with the flow. Slowly releasing a breath, I start to make my way to him. With a stupid smile on my face, I reach a hand out to touch his shoulder when he turns around. Instantly jerking my hand back, I frown. “You’re so not Caden.”

  “You would be correct,” mystery man who looks identical to Caden says.

  Now I know I didn’t wake up into some alternate universe here. This is the same apartment, and I haven’t smoked any weed since a few nights ago, so I know nothing weird went down like it sometimes does when I’m fucked up. I also didn’t drink that much last night. Searching the room, my eyes land on a body moving around in the kitchen. Not taking my gaze off the Caden look alike, I walk into the kitchen to find the real Caden. “So … um,” I say to grab his attention. He glances up at me taking his eyes off the Keurig as I ask, “Did you know there’s a guy sitting at your table who looks exactly like you?”

  He smirks as he looks past me. Turning my head, I see identical look alike guy standing in the kitchen now. His arms are crossed, but the vibe I’m getting isn’t like the one I have around Caden. Where Caden is warm, fun, and makes my insides do a little dance, the other guy doesn’t. He also seems standoffish, a bit cold, and hard around the edges. “That’s just Cason. My twin.”

  “Your twin,” I repeat because I should’ve known this before now. “Wait a second,” I begin as the wheels start to turn. Looking back to Caden, I ask, “Did you just pull a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen on me?” With Caden’s confused expression, I add, “You know the movie when they dress alike to make sure their boyfriends could tell them apart?”

  Caden’s eyes widen, as Cason says behind me, “Who the fuck is Mary-Kate and Ashley?”

  Frowning, I wonder how in the world does he not know this? “Have you never watched Full House? They played in tons of movies too.” Cason just looks confused as he just stands there like a fucking weirdo.

  “Cason doesn’t watch a lot of TV,” Caden answers.

  “Clearly he’s been living under a rock,” I pipe back.

  “I’m right here, and I don’t appreciate the both of you talkin’ about me like I’m not.”

  Caden turns to me as he says, “Cason also doesn’t like it when we talk about him when he’s standin’ by us.”

  “Is there anything about Cason I should know about? There isn’t a third one of you hiding anywhere right?”

  “No,” they both reply.

  “Oh-kay, this isn’t the least bit weird. Like at all.”

  “Don’t blame me. This is all on him,” Cason says as he gives his twin a pointed look.

  Caden doesn’t respond, and I can’t help but feel I passed some sort of test. “So what’s the verdict? Did I pass or fail?”

  “You passed,” they say yet again together.

  “Could you two not do that? It’s sort of freaking me out. Can I just get used to the fact there’s two of you first?”

  “Cason, can you give Savannah and I a minute?” Watching Cason as he walks out of the kitchen, I feel a little relieved that I don’t have to keep whipping my head back and forth between them. Giving all my attention to Caden, I wait for him to explain why he didn’t tell me he had a twin. “I’m sorry about that. I was goin’ to tell you.”

  “Really? Apparently after I passed your Olsen twin test.”

  “Hey,” he says softly as he brushes my hair out of my face. “I wanted to tell you, but we just have this thing.”

  “This thing? Care to elaborate on what exactly this thing is because I seriously don’t understand, Caden.” I hope he can understand my frustration. We talked about our families last night, and he had every opportunity to tell me he has a twin. Plus he had no reason to hide this from me unless there’s a reason.

  Caden rubs his chin as I cross my arms. I’m not budging on this. “Alright I’ll be honest here.” You should’ve been honest from the start. I want to be reasonable, so I’ll let him explain his side for hiding this. “Once upon a time there was this bo
y,” he begins, and I already feel myself relax hearing his voice. “This boy was head over heels in love with this girl, and he tried everythin’ he knew to get the girl to notice him. But the boy also had a brother, a twin, and one day the girl began to talk to the boy.” I already don’t like where this story is going, and judging by the look on Caden’s face, it isn’t going to end well. “The boy really thought the girl was startin’ to like him the way he liked her, but,” he stops and glances away. “The girl was just usin’ the boy to get closer to the boy’s twin. Because she loved the twin, not the boy.”

  “You were the boy, and Cason was the twin.”

  “It’s a shitty story, but yeah. Her name was Emily Thompson.”

  Okay I’m not a complete bitch. I do feel bad for Caden and his broken heart over what I assume was his first love, but it still doesn’t explain why he didn’t tell me he had a twin. “I’m sorry this Emily Thompson was a hoe bag, but that still doesn’t explain why you hid it from me.”

  “Well there’s more to the story.” Sensing things are about to get heavy, I hop up on the counter. Caden leans his arms down on the counter by me as he finishes telling his story. “So I was heartbroken Emily was usin’ me to get to Cason. Of course Cason didn’t want anythin’ to do with her. He used to say she was too girly for him and was fake. Which isn’t far from the truth.” He huffs out a deep breath before continuing. “Anyway one day at lunch, Cason and I were sittin’ outside on one of the picnic tables. Back in junior high, we didn’t have many of the same classes at the same time, so when we had a free moment, we were together.” Caden glances up to me, and for the first time, I see hurt in his eyes. “Long story short, Emily walked over by us and the funny thing is she was so hung up on Cason, but yet she couldn’t tell us apart when we were together. She ended up talkin’ to me instead of Cason and even tried to kiss me.”

  “What a fucking bitch,” I say, and I’m surprised at the anger behind my words.