by Brie Paisley
Hearing Cason’s grunt, I ignore him as I answer her. “Yeah, small fry. Just peachy.” When she shrugs, I know I’m off the hook. At least for now. Letting out a sigh, she steps out of my reach and walks back into my room.
When she shuts the door, Cason slaps me again on my arm. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” If his gaze could kill, I would be dead. And I hate when he gets this way. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot. Why didn’t you tell her? You know this shit is goin’ to backfire on you, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
“I know, Cas. Jesus can you just give me the benefit of the doubt for once in your life?”
“No,” he states then rubs his forehead with the back of his hand. It’s clear he’s frustrated with me. “I won’t let you off the hook this time. You need to tell her.” With a shake of his head, he leaves the kitchen without so much as a goodbye. Just like Cason to make such a dramatic exit.
“I thought you had my back,” I call after him.
“I do but not with somethin’ like this.” My head falls back, and I let out a groan when he slams the door.
Glancing at my bedroom door, I should go in there and purge all these fucking secrets to Savannah. I hate keeping shit from her, and I absolutely hate lying about it. But I’m fucking terrified of losing her. If I tell her, there’s a big chance I’ll lose her. And if I keep lying to her, there’s also a chance I’ll lose her.
Fuck me. I’m screwed either way.
The question is how am I going to keep the one woman I love from leaving me?
Taking another drink of my beer, I glance to Savannah loving the sound of her laugh. A grin forms seeing her so happy and free. She’s changed so much since I first met her, and I hope that has a lot to do with me. I’d like to think so, but then again she’s special all on her own. Not to mention, my whole family seems to be in love with her too. I knew they all would, and even Clark approached me once we arrived at Carter and Shelby’s house and apologized for being a douche canoe when he first met her. I didn’t ask him where he was the last time we came over because I know he’s dealing with his demons. But I’m glad he changed his tune, or I would have to change it for him. All joking aside, one would think Savannah wouldn’t have any reason what-so-ever to want to leave, but I know better. Even if she’s having a blast with Shelby now, and how she fits in with all of us, I know this is all temporary. Maybe I’ve known it all along she was never meant to stay with me, and it makes my chest constrict knowing this.
Pushing these unwanted thoughts from my mind, I try my best to act like I’m just the same ol’ funny Caden. It’s hard, especially when Cason keeps glaring at me from across the outdoor table, and Caleb does the same when he stops messing with his phone. Clark is sitting by Carter, and they seem to be in deep conversation. Leaning over, I place my arm around Savannah and whisper, “Are you havin’ fun yet, small fry?”
When she turns to me, I suck in a breath seeing that gorgeous smile. Damn, it gets me every single time. “I am. Although,” she pauses and glances down at my lips, “I could use another beer.”
“You goin’ to kiss me first?”
“Well,” she says and turns away. Knowing she’s flirting, I grab her by the chin and pull her to me. “I guess I could give you one kiss.”
Forgetting that we’re not alone, I huskily ask, “Just one?”
“I never thought I would see this,” Carter cuts in, and I roll my eyes.
Leaning back in my chair, I ask, “See what exactly?”
“The day you were pussy whipped.”
Savannah giggles beside me, and I shake my head. “I’d much rather be pussy whipped than not have any pussy.”
“Here y’all go again talkin’ about pussy,” Cason pipes in with a monotone voice.
Smirking, I turn to him. “I happen to like pussy very much.”
“Could we perhaps talk about somethin’ else?” Shelby asks, and I stand.
Leaning down by Savannah, she meets me halfway for a kiss and everyone cheers. “Alright now. That’s enough,” I claim. Savannah blushes as I leave a peck on her cheek and grab her empty beer bottle. “Anyone else need anythin’ while I’m up. I guess I’ll be y’alls waiter for tonight.” Everyone but Cason and Caleb hold up their empty beer bottles, and Shelby holds up her wine glass. Making my way around the table, I shake my head and declare, “Y’all are a bunch of damn alcoholics.” Of course they all laugh because I am half joking. Standing by Clark, I raise an eyebrow when he holds up two fingers meaning he wants two beers instead of one. Looks like he needs to add AA meetings to his to do list so he can get back to normal. Huffing out a breath, I snatch Clark’s empty bottle out of his hand and make my way inside the house.
Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey & Cedric Gervais starts to play over the radio, and I bob my head to the beat as I drop the bottles in the trash. Turning around, I open the fridge then frown when I hear someone yelling outside. Shaking my head and not thinking much of it, I mumble the words to the song as I grab everyone their drinks. Just as I shut the refrigerator door, Savannah appears out of nowhere and out of breath. “Caden,” she says with wide eyes.
Wondering what has her so spooked, I ask, “Are you alright there, small fry?”
She looks back outside then to me as she claims, “I need four beers and a knife.”
What the fuck is she talking about? “I don’t follow. I’m goin’ to need you to tell me why in the hell you need four beers and a knife.”
“Because.” She starts as she steps closer to me. Leaning in, she whispers, “There’s a donkey out there.”
“Out where?”
“Outside. In the back yard.”
Now I know her and I have had a couple of beers, but I hadn’t realized she’s apparently drunk. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. “There’s a donkey in the back yard?” I ask slowly because I feel like I’m missing something here.
“Yes! I told you that,” she claims in an exasperated tone. Feeling confused, I start to ask her to explain why there’s a donkey in the yard and why she’s so freaked out when she says, “It’s the neighbors apparently, and I’m terrified of donkeys.”
Trying to hold back a laugh, I have to bite the inside of my cheek. She’s clearly not joking around, and I never would’ve thought someone would be afraid of a donkey. “Why are you so afraid of donkeys? One shit on you or somethin’?”
“No, Caden. One didn’t shit on me.” Letting out a chuckle, I can’t help myself. “This isn’t funny.”
“I’m sorry, small fry. Tell me why the big bad donkey freaks you out.”
She glares at me then huffs out a breath. “I fell off one once, and it almost killed me by almost stomping my head. Since then, I can’t be around one and not freak out.”
Placing a finger on my lips, I really try and figure this out. “So you tried to ride a donkey?” With her nod, I ask, “Why would you want to ride a donkey? That’s what horses are for.”
“I don’t know, Caden. I was at a fair, and they had a bunch of donkeys in this ring pin, and I fell off. I don’t know why I have to explain this so much. I’m afraid of them, and you should protect me from it.”
“Protect you from a donkey that isn’t anywhere near you?” When she rolls her eyes, I pull her to me. When she glances up at me, I ask, “What exactly would you like me to do? Stab it for you with your knife? I have to say, small fry. I’m not sure how I feel about killin’ an innocent animal.”
She pushes against my chest, and I let out a laugh at the look on her face. “You’re an ass.”
“I’m just jokin’ around.” She purses her lips out at me, and I wink at her. Remembering she also asked for four beers, I calmly ask, “Why did you want four beers?”
“So I can drink them. Why else would I want a beer?”
I can’t deny her logic behind that one. “Alright then. I’ll grab some more beers then.” Turning back to the fridge, I grab a couple more beers. Thankfully Savannah helps me carry all
the drinks back outside, and once I set them down, I notice Carter and Cason are out in the yard trying to round up the scary donkey. Savannah quickly grabs one of the beers off the table as Clark does the same, and she downs hers so fast I frown. “Easy there, small fry.” Taking the bottle away from her, I lean over to whisper, “Don’t worry. The scary donkey isn’t goin’ to get you.”
She smacks my chest as she claims, “I shouldn’t have told you that. You’ll never let me live that one down.”
Grinning, I take a seat and say, “I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. It’ll be a good story to tell the grandkids.” Shelby snorts, and Savannah’s eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her head. “What? Was it somethin’ I said?”
“It’s a little scary how you claim we’re going to have grandkids,” Savannah retorts.
“I think y’all should at least go steady for a bit before movin’ onto grandkids, Caden,” Shelby adds.
“Kill all my hopes and dreams why don’t you,” I pipe back.
“I’m just sayin’,” Shelby says as she takes a drink of her wine.
Savannah is eerily quiet during our exchange, and I hope she knows I was sort of kidding. I know it’s way too soon to be talking about future grandkids, but it is something I would like to have with her. A guy can dream right? Before I get a chance to say something back, Carter and Cason return from rounding up the donkey, and I notice Savannah letting out a loud sigh. “Please tell me the donkey is back in its cage?” she asks them and I shake my head.
“I wouldn’t call it a cage, but yes. The donkey is gone,” Carter tells her.
“Thank God,” Savannah says as she grabs another beer.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone afraid of a donkey before,” Clark declares, and I take a beer for myself.
Waiting to see what Savannah will say, I lean back in my chair and cross a leg over the other. Darting my eyes to Cason, he’s glaring at me again. Ignoring him, I glance to Caleb seeing he’s yet again on his phone. I’ve never understood why people come over to hangout, but yet they’re always on their phone. “Well,” Savannah starts. “We all have something we’re afraid of. Mine is just a bit unorthodox.”
Everyone is quiet hearing Savannah’s truth, and Clark clenches his jaw then turns away. I know she didn’t mean to poke the bear with him, but we all know Clark is dealing with a lot of baggage. Sensing the need for a mood change, I turn to Caleb. “Oops baby, what are you doin’ that’s more important than spendin’ time with your favorite people?”
“I’ve asked you to not call me that,” he snaps and doesn’t even bother to look at me.
I know how much he hates it when I call him that, but I can’t help myself. He gets all riled up for no reason, and me being me, I push him a bit more. “I know, but it’s the truth and it’s your nickname.”
He huffs out a breath then says, “You’re the one that gave me that stupid nickname. No one else calls me that but you.”
“Awe now don’t be like that,” I claim then snatch his phone out of his hands. Maybe now he’ll actually converse with everyone.
“Give it back, Caden.”
“No can do, oops baby.” I don’t get a chance to see what he’s even doing on his phone since he jumps out of his chair and lunges for it. Moving it out of his reach, I hold him back with my hand as he struggles for it. “You really love this phone don’t you?”
“Caden, give it back. I’m not playin’ around.”
Pushing him off me, I jump out of my chair and look down at his screen. It timed out, so it’s locked now, but he doesn’t know that. “Let’s see what secrets you’re hidin’ here.”
“Caden,” Cason starts in a stern voice. “I would chill out if I were you.”
Not understanding what he means, I shrug off his warning. “I’m just messin’ around.” Turning to Caleb, he’s glaring at me. “Geesh, oops baby. What’s the hate glare for?”
Feeling everyone’s gaze on us, I frown wondering what the big deal is. “Last chance to give me back my phone, Caden.”
“Or what?” I dare. When he doesn’t move, I glance down at his phone and try to unlock it. I am curious to know what he’s been up to since he’s got here, and why he’s so focused on his phone. Which is why I wasn’t expecting him to tackle me. Hitting the porch hard, I lose my grip on his phone, and it goes flying across the porch as my beer shatters everywhere. Pushing him off me, I jump up and ask, “What the fuck, man?”
Caleb doesn’t say a word as he walks over to pick up his phone. Where I’m standing, I can clearly see his screen is shattered and as he turns around, he snaps, “You’re a fuckin’ dick.”
“I’m a dick? You’re the one who tackled me to keep your precious secret hidden.”
“You want to talk about keepin’ secrets?”
Shit. I give him a warning look because I know exactly what he’s talking about. “How about we talk about this in private.”
Caleb shakes his head and smiles, but there’s nothing funny about this. My heart drops as he says, “No, I don’t want to talk in private. You’re such a fuckin’ hypocrite, you know that.” Savannah’s eyes cut to me, and I can only imagine what’s going through her head. Before I get a chance to stop him, he says, “You’re bustin’ my balls for hidin’ shit, but you’re the one who’s holdin’ back somethin’ from the girl you claim to love.” He stops for a moment to glance at his phone, and I clench my jaw knowing he’s just royally fucked me over. “How about you tell Savvy the truth instead of fuckin’ with me.”
Knowing he’s right and having nothing else to say, he storms inside the house. “I’ll go after him,” Clark says and rushes after Caleb.
The thing is the damage is already done. Swallowing hard, I look to Savannah. She slowly stands and moves in front of me. “Caden? What did Caleb mean? What are you keeping from me?”
Feeling Carter, Shelby, and Cason’s gaze on me, I know my time is up. I can’t keep this from her any longer, and this is so not the way I wanted to tell her. “Savannah, just let me explain.”
“Yeah, explain why the hell you’ve apparently been keeping something from me.”
Glancing to Cason, I silently beg for help. I know I fucked up, and I know this is about to blow the fuck up in my face. Some assistance from my twin would be nice, but he only glares at me. Guess I’m on my own with this one. Taking a deep breath, I look Savannah in the eyes as I quietly confess, “I know who your birth mother is.” When she steps back like I’ve hit her, I quickly add, “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I swear I was goin’ to but I … I didn’t know how.”
It kills me she can’t even look at me when she asks, “You didn’t know how to tell me what exactly?” Moving closer, I try to take her hand. She jerks out of my reach as she yells, “Tell me, Caden. Who is she? Why did you keep this from me?”
I open my mouth to explain, but honestly there’s nothing I can say to make her understand. And knowing I’ve fucked up big time makes my stomach sink. “Your mother is Tabitha Ross.”
“What did you just say?” Shelby asks.
I glance at her for a moment then turn back to Savannah. “Caleb tracked the fake identity, and it lead him to Tabitha. Then he cross referenced the hospital records, hacked into the database, and made the connection.”
“But that … that’s impossible,” Shelby claims.
“She did leave for a year when we were kids,” Carter explains, and I can see Shelby putting everything together.
Shelby glances to Savannah as she says, “Holy fuck.”
Trying once more to take Savannah’s hand, she shakes her head and moves her hand out of my reach. Her eyes begin to fill with tears as she asks, “What does this all mean then?”
Seeing Cason moving toward me out of the corner of my eye, I glance to Shelby and Carter seeing their shocked expressions. Savannah is the only one that doesn’t know she has a sister. A sister that’s sitting in the chair right beside her. A sister that she’s clicked with si
nce the moment they met. And I’m a fucking bastard for keeping this secret from her. “It means,” I say with a raspy voice. This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do. Knowing I’ve held something like this from her for weeks and the fact she’s been searching for her mother for so long, it kills me. My chest constricts as my stomach clenches painfully. Sucking in a breath, it’s time for me to come clean. Fully. “It means that Shelby is your sister. Your half-sister to be exact.”
Savannah’s gaze never leaves mine, and I’d give anything to go back in time and change this. I would’ve never kept this fucking secret, but fuck I wanted to protect her. Tabitha is a conniving cunt, and I know every single fucked up thing she did to Shelby. Not to mention, she’s the main reason Shelby left Carter for so long. So yeah, I fucked up, but dammit I wanted to save her from the pain Tabitha causes. But I know Savannah will never forgive me for this. I can see the betrayal and hurt in her eyes, and when a tear falls down her cheeks, I ache knowing I’ve hurt her so badly. Honestly I wouldn’t blame her if she never forgave me for keeping something like from her. Even if I know Tabitha is an evil bitch, the look in Savannah’s eyes tells me all I need to know. “How long?” She asks. She clears her throat then asks again. “How long have you known?”
“Three weeks. Maybe a little longer.” I’m not proud of this. I feel like a shit bag for doing this to her. She sucks in a breath and places a hand over her heart as she looks away from me. “Savannah, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Please,” I stop when her gaze locks with mine, and I swallow seeing the anger laced in those blue-green eyes. She doesn’t say a word as she closes the distance between us, and before I can utter a single word, she slaps me across my face. She hits me so hard my head turns, and I instantly feel the sting. Slowly turning back to her, I try once more to apologize. “Savannah, I’m—”
“Don’t,” she says sternly. “Don’t say another damn word.” Her eyes close for a second as she shakes her head, and when she opens them, more tears fall down her cheeks. “I … I can’t even look at you,” she spits out and, yeah it fucking hurts. But more than anything, her not saying a damn word hurts even more.