Lily's Journey

by Tania Crosse

  ‘You mean there’s been another sacrifice?’ I faltered.

  ‘Yes, there has. But there doesn’t seem much the police can do,’ Daniel said, swallowing down his coffee. ‘Well, I’ll leave you ladies to it. Thanks for the drink. ’Bye, Lily. See you soon.’

  I nodded, and waited for Gloria to show him out. ‘Well, then,’ she smiled, coming back into the room. ‘Fancy you knowing Daniel. Poor troubled lad.’ She seemed distant for an instant, and then shook her head and beamed at me. ‘Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?’

  I gazed at her for some seconds, slack-jawed. Poor troubled lad? Well, I suppose Daniel was troubled in some ways. He certainly troubled me! I always seemed to be thrown into unwanted confusion whenever I met him.

  ‘Oh, just a social call,’ I smiled. ‘And to ask your opinion on something. Do you think I should read my father’s diary, even if I might find something hurtful in it? Or should I let sleeping dogs lie?’

  Somehow, in Gloria’s company, it seemed so simple. She didn’t know, of course, that Sidney wasn’t my real father. One day, I would probably tell her, but just now, I thought it would complicate things. She tipped her head to one side and breathed in deeply. ‘If you’re asking my opinion, it means the time isn’t right yet. But one day you’ll really feel you want to read it, and then the time will be right.’ Then her expression lifted again. ‘I’ve got some chocolate biscuits. Quite a treat. Shall we open them?’

  And suddenly Daniel, Sidney and my real father, whoever he might have been, were pushed to the back of my mind.

  ‘Well, that’s settled then!’

  William’s face was positively glowing as he came back into the lounge. It was early May and I was enjoying after-dinner coffee with the rest of the family before I shut myself away in my room to study. My exams weren’t far off and I was determined to do well so that Edwin would be proud of me. William had been having another lengthy telephone conversation with him and now Deborah looked up, beaming with satisfaction.

  ‘Go on, dear, tell them,’ she encouraged him.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ William grinned, inhaling with proud excitement. ‘Edwin’s going to join me in the practice when he qualifies in the summer. George, Dr Simmonds that is, wants to retire, so Edwin and I will take on most of his patients, and Edwin will rent George’s surgery from him. It’s all settled bar all the legalities and red tape, of course.’

  ‘Oh, that’s fantastic!’ Wendy cried, jumping to her feet with glee. ‘Oh, but what about his National Service?’

  ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Hopefully it won’t be for a while and we can establish a firm joint practice – the first in Tavistock – before he goes, and maybe I’ll get a long-term locum.’

  ‘Oh, right. Oh, this is marvellous, isn’t it, Lily?’

  Wendy turned to me, her eyes shining knowingly. I hadn’t said anything simply because I couldn’t find the words to express the rapture that whipped through my heart. Edwin was coming to live here permanently. In the same house. I could have keeled over with happiness.

  ‘Oh, yes! That’s terrific news!’ I found my tongue at last. ‘How lovely for you to have him back! I know how you’ve all missed him!’

  A broad smile split my face. None of them could have missed Edwin as much as I had! He was everything to me. And now I could see a golden future unfurling before us, filling every minute of my life with joy. It didn’t matter any more that I knew nothing of my real father and very little of my mother. As Edwin’s wife, I would know exactly who I was. And I would never want to be anyone else.

  He came home towards the end of July, just a few days before my birthday. My heart was dancing a jig in my chest as I stood back, allowing the family to greet him first, although Celia couldn’t be there as she was doing her nursing rotation at Plymouth’s Greenbank Hospital. My fingertips were tingling with excitement as I waited, and then Wendy stood aside and I faced the man I loved across the small space that separated us. He hadn’t changed one little bit and his eyes lit up with mischief when he saw me.

  ‘Lily! It’s good to see you!’ He held me at arms’ length, looking me up and down, and I held my breath, praying he’d approve. ‘Well, I can’t say you’ve grown,’ he laughed, ‘but you do look very well and very pretty.’ He hugged me then, just for a moment, and I was in heaven.

  ‘Did you have a good journey?’ I asked breathlessly when he released me.

  ‘Yes, I did, thanks. But I can’t say that I’ll be sorry not to have to spend so long on a train again. The first thing I’ll need will be a car of my own. Something much smaller than the Rover. You did really well to pass your test so quickly, by the way, Lily.’

  I knew that I blushed, not so much at his praise but because it had come from him. ‘Thank you,’ I mumbled as joy nevertheless exploded inside me.

  ‘And what about your exams? Any news yet?’

  ‘Oh, I got all my RSAs, but the O-level results won’t be out for another few weeks.’

  ‘Well, I’m sure you’ll have done well. It was a very brave thing to have done, gone back to studying and with a full-time job as well.’

  ‘Oh, that reminds me,’ William chimed in, ‘one of the clerks at the hospital gave in her notice today, so there’ll be a vacancy coming up. I wondered if you might be interested, Lily? I could maybe pull a few strings. It would be a bit of a challenge for you, but you’re so bright, you’d pick up the medical side easily and Ed and I could help you. You’d be in the office and dealing with both patients and the medical staff. I think you’d be ideal.’

  I took a sharp, snatched breath. That, on top of everything else, was the crowning glory. Yes, I had started to look around for a new job where I could use my recently acquired skills. But being assistant supervisor to Mrs Kershaw for the last two years had been extremely interesting. I didn’t want to go from that to sitting behind a typewriter all day. I was looking for a responsible position where I could use my initiative and feel really useful. Through William and Deborah, I already knew most of the doctors and some of the nurses. They were a super crowd and I couldn’t think of another job that would appeal to me more. Especially as it would mean that not only would I be living in the same house as Edwin, but I would see him quite often at work as well!

  ‘Oh, yes, I’d be really interested!’ I replied, burning with enthusiasm. ‘Do you think I’d stand a chance?’

  ‘An excellent one, I’d have thought. Wouldn’t you say so, Edwin?’

  ‘Yes, Dad, I’m sure she would.’

  Edwin turned on me a smile that reached his eyes, making the skin crinkle at the corners, and hope blossomed inside me. Everything was perfect. I didn’t even mind that Daniel had been invited to the party William and Deborah had planned. It was supposed to be jointly for my birthday and Edwin’s final qualification, but Deborah especially could always find an excuse for a get-together. It was to take place the following Sunday afternoon, in the garden if the weather was kind. In the meantime, I had booked a week’s holiday so that I could be with Edwin while he took a break before he began working with his father.

  ‘What do you think, Lily?’ Edwin grinned as he ran his hand proudly along the gleaming wing of the Austin Healey a few days later. ‘I was really lucky to find her. There’s not many around. She’s two years old, but I never expected to spot anything like this in a garage in Tavistock. Not sure Dad entirely approves, mind. Fancy going for a spin?’

  ‘Oh, yes!’ I answered, my heart flying to the stars. And I couldn’t help thinking that the little sports car was far superior to someone’s battered old jeep I’d ridden in once before.

  ‘Tell you what, why don’t we drive across the moor to Widecombe and have a pub lunch? There’s a superb little place just outside the village called the Rugglestone Inn. Do you know it?’

  I shook my head, hugging to myself the dream of being alone with Edwin again. ‘I’ve never been over the other side of the moor.’ I didn’t remind him that I had only turned
eighteen the previous day and so had never been inside a pub before. The doubt cast a shadow over my joy, but to my relief, Edwin didn’t appear to notice.

  ‘I haven’t been there myself for years. You’ll love it. It’s really old and quaint, and the bar’s just the little front room of the original farmhouse. And there’s a stream that runs across the front. It’s really romantic.’

  Romantic? Oh, it sounded perfect! I sat next to Edwin, feeling as if I could fly as we climbed up onto the moor. It was a beautiful day, the rugged scenery bathed in a clear, golden light that accentuated every wild contour of the land and glistened on the meandering ribbons of Dartmoor’s many rivers and streams. The furthest I had ever been was to Dartmeet where the curling road plunged down to the old narrow bridge over the river. Edwin grinned at me as the car took the steep hill on the far side with ease and we gathered speed as we headed east. I was all eyes to take in the softer character of that side of the moor. The little village of Widecombe was busy with holiday-makers, but we left them behind as we turned up a side lane and, within a few hundred yards, arrived at our destination.

  Edwin was right. It was like stepping back in time. We managed to get a sandwich and a packet of crisps, and Edwin bought me half a pint of lemonade shandy. As I untwisted the little blue packet of salt and sprinkled it over the crisps, I couldn’t have been happier. A tidal wave of elation was sweeping me along to the heaven I had dreamt of for so long.

  ‘Are you nervous about the interview?’ Edwin asked, putting his tankard of bitter on the table.

  I swallowed the crisps in my mouth. ‘Yes, I am a bit. But only because I’d really love the job.’

  ‘And I really hope you get it.’

  He leant across the table and squeezed my hand, his lovely green-blue eyes looking deep into mine. A thrill of ecstasy tumbled down my spine as if Edwin was trying to tell me something. I knew in my heart what it was, but such matters should not be rushed. What mattered was the here and now, and I was with Edwin. I was content.

  I was so awash with a deep sense of euphoria that I didn’t even mind when Daniel came up to me at the party. I had to admit he was looking as disgustingly handsome as ever, a white shirt enhancing his tanned skin and dark, glossy hair that always seemed in need of a cut. I could understand why Kate fancied him. Deborah had asked me to invite my friends, so Kate, who had been working at Woolworths since the autumn, and Sally, who was awaiting her A-level results to get into university, were both there, looking a little shy among all these strangers. I was determined to look after them.

  ‘Excuse me, Daniel,’ I said with a smile, but he caught my arm as I turned away.

  ‘Hang on a minute, Lily. I want to give you your present.’

  ‘Present?’ I was so surprised that I forgot to be abrupt with him.

  ‘It is your birthday.’

  ‘Yes, but I don’t expect—’

  ‘Go on, open it,’ he urged, his expression set as he held out a small box.

  I took it warily. Knowing Daniel, it would be something to ridicule me with and his straight face would deepen his mockery. So I was doubly shocked when I opened the box to find a silver filigree pendant necklace set with a large amethyst. It looked Victorian and was somehow familiar.

  I gazed at it in wonder for several seconds while my heart began to pound. ‘Daniel, it’s beautiful,’ I scarcely managed to mumble.

  ‘It was my great aunt’s. She left it to me in her will. It was my great-grandmother’s before that.’

  His voice was low, quavering slightly. I realised that he was perfectly serious, and that the necklace really meant something to him. It was then that I remembered where I had seen it before. It adorned the swanlike neck of the stunning woman in the portrait at Fencott Place.

  I snapped the box shut. Daniel had been playing with me after all. I was fuming, but I couldn’t retaliate in front of all these people.

  ‘Thank you, but I can’t possibly accept it,’ I said tersely.

  He gave a sardonic grunt. ‘Well, I’m never going to wear it, am I?’

  ‘Save it for the future, then. For whoever becomes your wife.’

  I saw his face turn to a mask of stone. I had said it in all innocence, forgetting for a moment the fact that he had been jilted while he was being held prisoner in Korea. I immediately felt guilty, but it was too late.

  ‘Who’s ever going to want to marry me?’ he muttered under his breath, and then he glared almost accusingly at me. ‘I want you to have it, Lily. If nothing else as an apology. And I promise never to call you my little Carrot Top ever again.’

  A teasing sparkle had suddenly come into his eyes again and he failed to prevent his lips from curving into a jibing smile. Fury erupted inside me. I wanted to slap his face but instead I thrust the box against his chest and spinning on my heel, hurried across the lawn to Kate and Sally, forcing a carefree grin to my face.

  Whether Daniel caught the box or whether it fell to the ground, I didn’t see and I didn’t care. I just wished Daniel hadn’t accepted the invitation to the party, but it wasn’t long before I noticed him shaking Edwin’s hand. After that, I didn’t see him again, so I assumed he must have left. And good riddance, too. How dare he try to humiliate me again at my own party? What would he have done if I had accepted his gift? Snatched it back with a derisive laugh and sneered at me for thinking he would actually have given me a family heirloom that was worth a small fortune? Thank goodness I had been one step ahead of him!

  I joined back into the party, but I still felt ill at ease. How was it that Daniel always managed to unnerve me and leave me feeling guilty? Yes, I felt sympathy for all he had been through, but he had this uncanny knack of upsetting me. I had thought just now that he was being sincere and wanted to be friends. If only he had offered me something like a box of chocolates, but the necklace had made me distrust him once again.

  I felt sorry, though, for the ungracious way I had rebuffed him, and wished I had found some subtler words to reject the gift. I was torn with shame and wished he hadn’t left so that I could have spoken to him again and put things right between us. But then Edwin came and rested his hand on my shoulder as I was talking to Kate and Sally, and the memory of Daniel and the necklace melted away. I had Edwin and nothing else mattered.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dr Higgins grunted and glared at me over the rim of his spectacles as he handed the pile of signed correspondence back to me. I was quaking in my shoes. I had been lucky enough to get the job and it was only my third day working at the hospital, but I had already learnt that Dr Higgins was the one to watch out for. I had been told that he frequently returned his letters criss-crossed with red pen, ranting and raving at the smallest mistake and hissing that we couldn’t even bloody spell. I was appalled. I had never heard William or Edwin swear, and certainly such language had never passed Sidney’s lips. The only person I had known to use that same word once or twice was Daniel, which wasn’t surprising. And, of course, Jeannie, but swearing was part of the culture she had been raised in, and any of the more uncouth oaths had been forbidden to her. But Jeannie, who I hadn’t heard from for over a year, was a fading memory.

  So, I had taken extra care when I had been summoned to take some dictation from the known tyrant and had perhaps spent longer than I should have done over typing up the letters, double-checking the spelling of any medical terms in the special dictionary. There were three of us working in the hospital’s clerical office, one plain clerk and two with secretarial skills. Mrs Elderman had been elsewise occupied when Dr Higgins had appeared so it had been left to me to bear his boorishness which made Daniel’s usual ill-humour look like a ray of sunshine!

  ‘Well done!’ Mrs Elderman, who was back in the office now, grinned at me as Dr Higgins shut the door after him. ‘A baptism of fire if ever there was! Now, put on the stamps and you can post them on your way out as it’s lunchtime now. And don’t forget to write it all down in the stamp book and file away the copies.’


  I had learnt that there was a book for everything in which meticulous details were recorded, orders and expenditures as well as admissions, discharges and outpatient clinics. Absolutely everything went through the office and it amazed me that only three people ran the whole affair. It meant that we were incredibly busy and there was an awful lot to learn, but it was varied and interesting and I knew was going to give me a deep sense of satisfaction. Apart from Dr Higgins, all the staff I had met were friendly and helpful. Matron, although a stickler for discipline and able herself to do everything better than any of her nursing staff, had the reputation of a mother hen who would fiercely defend her chicks. If you had a problem of any sort, she was the one to turn to.

  I could have had lunch in the Nurses’ Dining Room, the cost of which would have been deducted from my wages, but I preferred the short walk home down the hill, knowing that Edwin was likely to be there. So at one o’clock, I trotted down the main stairs and along the side corridor to the outside world as the main door was virtually never used. I popped the letters in the postbox by the hospital gates, feeling immensely proud that I had passed muster with Dr Higgins, and hurried down to Plymouth Road in the warm September sunshine. I was so happy, I was bursting with joy.

  ‘Hello! How did you get on this morning?’

  William, Deborah, Edwin and Wendy had already started lunch around the kitchen table as we were all on a tight schedule. I washed my hands and sat down to join them, explaining about my success as I did so.

  ‘Ho, ho, you did well, then!’ William chuckled. ‘Bit of a task-master is David!’

  ‘Well, yes, he seemed irritated that I’d been a bit slow,’ I admitted, ‘but then I had checked some of the medical words so that I got it right first time.’

  ‘Very wise,’ Edwin nodded. ‘I’m a bit scared of him myself, I have to say. I’m glad it’s orthopaedics I’m specialising in and not his field.’