Endless Heart: Heart, Book 3

by Emma Lang

  “You left him?” Shane had moved nearer, his forehead close enough to touch hers.

  “We ran from him. Traveled here, scared, without any money or idea of where we were going. When we found the Blue Plate, we thought it was temporary. Then a hired killer showed up to seek revenge for the wrongdoing we had done to Josiah.”

  Shane reared back. “What?”

  “It’s true. He hunted us down to kill us. Angeline’s sister Eliza is the only reason we’re alive. She convinced him not to kill anyone, and strange as it may be, she married him. Josiah came after us himself after he knew where we were.” She pressed her forehead against his. “An old beau of Angeline’s, Jonathan, killed him before he had a chance to shoot her.”

  She let the story settle over him before she continued. “I ain’t a catch, Shane. I’m damaged inside and out. I didn’t know what love was, and I have fits where I can’t breathe and I curl into a ball. I’m ornery, mean and I have no patience either.”

  This was it. The moment he could let her go or accept her for the pitiful excuse for a woman she was. Lettie wasn’t ready for her heart to be broken so soon, but better now than later.

  “We are a matched set. I’m damaged inside and out too. I’m going straight to hell for everything I’ve done and haven’t done.” Shane’s chuckle was punctuated with a sob. “I’d say there isn’t another person in the world who could be with us except each other.”

  Lettie knew then her heart had made the right and only choice. Something had thrown this man in her path, literally, and she had finally accepted it was meant to be. Now they had to survive their kidnapping and find a way to overcome their demons long enough to be happy.

  They stayed that way, forehead to forehead, their breaths mingling as their memories and their pain had. It was a perfect moment, one that made her throat tight and her heart ache for both of them. God had put some fierce obstacles along the paths their lives had taken. Perhaps they could banish the darkness they both lived in by changing the path they were currently on.

  Lettie leaned forward, took a deep breath and rolled back as far as she could, then forward until she landed on her stomach. She turned her face to the side to avoid the dirt and splinters.

  Shane eyed her with a frown. “What are you doing?”

  “Flipping over so I can untie you. Weren’t you paying attention to me?”

  His frown deepened. “I don’t think this is a good idea. I can’t feel my hands. Weren’t you paying attention to me?”

  Lettie found herself smiling at his retort. He was annoyed that she was trying to get them free when he couldn’t. After their sharing of souls, a little arguing would be just the thing to chase the dark memories away.

  “That’s why I’m going to do the untying.” She rolled again until she was on her right side. “Now you flip over and I’ll get to work.”

  He sighed hard enough to make dirt move past her ear. “I don’t think this will—”

  “Stop yapping and start doing. I don’t know how long we’ll have.”

  Several moments went by before she heard him shift. A few grunts and curses and thumps later, his hands grazed hers.

  “I still can’t feel my hands. Am I in the right spot?”

  “Yep and I can feel your fingers.” She closed her eyes and focused on his hands. She had to move a little nearer, then down a bit. His fingers felt swollen and cold. It bothered her that Buster had tied his hands tight enough to cause permanent damage. She promised herself to make Buster pay for that particular sin.

  Lettie picked at the knots as best she could, but it was slow and painful. The rope was rough but cheap, the only advantage she had. The strands started to unravel as she worked at it. Her fingers grew slippery, and she hoped it was sweat and not blood.

  She had no idea how much time had passed before she felt the first knot give. With a triumphant but silent hoot, she got to work on the next one. Her hand started to cramp, but she didn’t stop or slow down. Lettie gritted her teeth, keeping her eyes closed so the dirt and sweat wouldn’t make them sting.

  When the last knot gave way, she almost wept with relief. Shane groaned and shifted beside her. Soon she felt him fumbling with the knots on her hands.

  “Sorry if I’m slow. I’m getting the feeling back and it hurts like hell. Feels like a million knives stabbing my hands. Dammit.” He paused, and she heard his hands rubbing together, skin on skin. “I’m sorry, honey.”

  Honey.

  This time the word felt natural, and she accepted it for what it was—a true sign of his affection for her. At least she hoped he had affection for her. It would be horrible if she had fallen in love with him and he didn’t feel the same way. Now was not the right place to be thinking about affection and love, but she couldn’t stop herself. Her emotions were running high, and since she’d let them loose, she wasn’t going to be able to control them.

  “Do you like me, Shane?”

  He started on the knots on her hands again. “What?”

  “Do you like me?”

  “You are a pain in the ass, you’re bossy and you are mean. How could I not like you?” He sounded as though he was talking through gritted teeth.

  “I can’t tell if you’re funning me or if you mean it.” His response bothered her, more than she wanted him to know. It was important that she knew how he felt, not simply wondered. There hadn’t been anyone like him in her life, and there wouldn’t ever be another.

  He leaned forward until his mouth was beside her ear. “I can’t exactly declare my love for you in the back of a dirty wagon while you’re hog-tied like the letter C. If you give me a little while to save our lives, I can be a better poet.”

  Her heart leapt into her throat. “Does that mean you love me?”

  “Jesus Christ, Lettie, I can’t believe you’re—”

  “Answer the question, Murphy. Now.” There was no chance she could ride the rest of the way to Benson without knowing the truth.

  “Yes, I love you. Now shut up and let me do what I need to do.”

  Lettie hugged his words to her heart and blinked away the sting of tears, this time happy ones. It wasn’t a profession of undying devotion she might have wanted, but it was what fit. Their relationship was not normal, and neither should their love be.

  “Good, because I do too.”

  He paused again, although she could feel the ropes were beginning to loosen around her wrists. “You do what?”

  Lettie could hardly form the words, the very thing she had forced him into admitting.

  “Don’t you dare pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” He nibbled on her earlobe. “Tell me.”

  Lettie squeezed her eyes shut. “OkayIloveyou.” It came out in a rush, a single word that made up the sum of all the whirling emotions in her heart and in her gut.

  His chuckle puffed across her cheek. “If we live after today, I think I might have to hear you say that again.”

  A bubble of happiness expanded inside her, a warm, comfortable presence. She was more than content, she was happy. For the first time in her life, she finally understood what happy felt like. She wanted it to last forever, to hold it close like the treasure it was. But Lettie would take what she had, which was here and now.

  Her hands were suddenly loose, and blood rushed through her fingers. The tingles turned into pins, and she sucked in a pained breath. Her knots hadn’t been as tight as Shane’s, and she could only imagine how much his hands hurt. Yet he hadn’t stopped. He worked at her knots until he got them untied. How could she have ever felt he was a worthless drunk?

  “Thank you.”

  “Let’s get our feet untied. Don’t sit up because they’ll see the tarp move. We have to let them believe we’re still tied up under here.” Shane slid backwards and pulled his feet up.

  Lettie did the same, her hands complaining loudly as she picked at the rough hemp again. It didn’t surprise her that Buster had cheap rope. He was cheap from top to bottom. Within a few minu
tes her ankles were free, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever happened, she would at least be able to face her fate standing on her own feet.

  “I’m going to shimmy down to the end of the wagon and see what I can see.” Shane shifted beside her.

  “So am I.”

  “Oh no you’re not. Stay here. What if one of those fools takes a shot at us? I sure as hell am not going to be responsible for you getting a new hole in your head.” Shane was getting bossy, and she didn’t like it one bit.

  “And you need a hole in your head?” she snapped.

  “No, but I’m the man. It’s my job to protect you, so let me.”

  She heard his body scrape down the bed of the wagon to the end. Lettie waited about five seconds before she followed him.

  “Go back to where you were, woman.”

  “Make me.”

  He sighed so hard, she swore the tarp moved. “You are a pigheaded mule.”

  “And you’re a stubborn jackass. Now shut up and let’s get to seeing what we can see.” She wanted to have the advantage over Buster and his men, however little it was.

  Shane looked out the left side while she looked out the right. “Don’t move it more than an inch or so.”

  “I can figure that out by myself.”

  He mumbled a curse but didn’t tell her to move again. Lettie understood the need to protect, but she had to make him understand she was not a wilting flower of femininity. The only thing feminine she could attest to were her body parts. Everything else was as it was—she did what needed doing.

  She peered through the tarp. Norman rode directly behind the wagon. He was busy scratching his balls, which didn’t surprise her, but he blocked their escape. She couldn’t see Myron or Buster but assumed one of them drove the ragtag wagon.

  “We’ve got a rider back here. It’s the skinny, stupid one,” Shane whispered.

  “Myron.” Lettie made a face. “Norman’s riding on this side. Neither one of them is very smart, but you don’t need that to fire a gun.”

  “We’re not going to slip out the back and escape, that’s for sure.” He turned to look at her. “We can surprise them when the wagon stops, but that’s dangerous.”

  “And what part of this adventure isn’t dangerous?” She scooted closer to him. “There are three of them. Even the strongest man would have trouble taking on three-to-one odds. I’ve got tits, but I’ve also got a knife and a whole lot of anger. I can be fierce.”

  “You already are fierce.” He moved closer still until they were nose to nose again.

  She wouldn’t tell him, but she enjoyed their banter quite a bit. More than she probably should considering they were arguing and insulting each other. Another interesting aspect of their unconventional relationship.

  “Don’t forget it.”

  “As if I could forget it. Woman, you are asking to go to war.”

  “We’re at war. Buster and those two morons threatened us, beat you, tied us up and are forcing us to take money from the very people who saved us.” Lettie narrowed her eyes, her heartbeat steady and sure. “I ain’t opposed to killing them if it comes to it.”

  His gray gaze studied her as he appeared to be mulling over her words. “You would have been a good soldier. Better than me.”

  “They don’t let you soldier if you have tits.”

  Shane stifled a snort by slapping his hand over his mouth. The raw skin of his wrist gleamed in the meager light under the tarp. He might consider himself a poor soldier, but she knew better. The man had lived through a great deal, and he was still a good man, one who had honor and courage. She wouldn’t let him put himself down, especially when she knew the truth of the matter.

  “We’re going to have to fight for our lives.”

  Lettie nodded. “Then let’s give them a fight.”

  He kissed her hard. “You’re a helluva woman.”

  She grinned at him, ready to fight to keep the incredible gift she’d been given—a man who loved her and accepted her for who she was. It was a gift worth fighting for.

  Chapter Seven

  Shane was in pain, but he wouldn’t tell Lettie how much. His hands felt like a horse had stomped on them. Buster had decided to cause a little extra discomfort when he tied Shane up. Lousy bastard deserved a taste of his own medicine. If Shane had the chance, he would return the favor in kind.

  The wagon lumbered along toward Benson, and he assumed they were close. He had no idea how much time had passed since he’d been unconscious, but it couldn’t have been that long. He and Lettie had been huddling under the tarp for at least an hour waiting for their chance to take control back from the three men who held them captive.

  She was incredible, braver than any man he’d ever known. After she told her story of her life, her marriage and her escape, he’d been in awe of how much courage she had. Now she was ready to take on three men with a single knife. Damn good thing Buster hadn’t checked her for weapons. He would have lost some fingers, of that Shane was certain.

  He didn’t know how long they had before the wagon stopped, but they had to be on guard. Their only advantage was surprise. He looked over at Lettie and saw the knife clutched in her hand. She stared at the side of the tarp, her expression fiercer than the blade.

  “Can you use that thing?”

  She scowled at him. “Of course I can. I started carrying it a year ago. Asked Angeline’s husband Sam to show me how to use it.” She turned the blade, making it wink in the sunlight streaming in from the crack in the tarp. “He was a soldier in the war, like you.”

  Shane was glad to know she had asked someone she trusted. “You know it could get bloody.”

  “You do remember the sorry shape you were in when we first met?”

  He grimaced. “Yes.”

  “Blood doesn’t bother me. Neither does protecting what’s mine.”

  Shane’s heart skipped a beat. “And I’m yours to protect.”

  “Damn right.” Her expression tightened. “I never had nothing that was mine. I aim to keep a hold of you for as long as I can.”

  Shane looked at Lettie and remembered all the things he used to have, the precious possessions he’d simply let go. He had been lucky, with a family, a home, and he’d pissed it away on whiskey. Shame washed over him. Lettie had endured a lifetime of nothing and was better than he was, a man who had everything and now had nothing.

  She lived and worked with people who loved her, took care of her and kept her from harm. The world had been unkind to her for most of her life, and now she had the important things that mattered. He had thrown away all those gifts, and only now, sober for the first time in years, he saw all that he’d given up in this woman’s eyes.

  It wasn’t the right time or place to have a life-changing moment, but it happened anyway. Shane shook from the power of the revelation. He had everything, and he gave it all up for nothing. Lettie had nothing and earned the right to everything. She was a stronger person than he ever was or would ever be. For the rest of his life, he would never forget this moment.

  It was the moment Shane Murphy truly became a man.

  This was what his pa and his sergeant had tried to teach him. Life was not happening for him, life was happening to him. Only he could steer the course, and if he chose to let the reins flap in the breeze, then he deserved all the bad that came with it. And oh how the bad had come and left him stripped bare, shivering in misery and stupidity.

  Here he was in the back of a shitty wagon, covered in bruises, blood and sweat, with a woman he had fallen in love with. The Shane he was would have thrown up his hands and given Buster and his gang whatever they wanted. The Shane he was now would fight for his life and protect his lady or die trying.

  His chest swelled with emotion, and he had to swallow a few dozen times before he embarrassed himself by saying something stupid. Lettie might have understood what he was feeling, but he wasn’t ready to share it. If they made it out alive, he would tell her about it.

  “Do
you see that?” Buster shouted. “Some ijit left his horse by the side of the road. Probably taking a piss. Myron, go get it.”

  “I ain’t stealing nobody’s horse. That’s a hanging crime, Buster.” Myron knew how to whine.

  “Don’t be a pussy. Go get it and take Norman with you.”

  After another minute of whining, they heard the horses ride off to the right. Shane’s gaze collided with Lettie’s. Now was their chance to escape. She opened the side of the tarp and peered out.

  Gone, she mouthed.

  Shane looked out the side and nodded. There was no one there. They had to move fast since they had only a few minutes of time. He crept out far enough to see the ground. The wagon moved at a steady pace, but not slow. The ground had rocks aplenty, which was unfortunate considering they were barefoot. A group of trees stood to the right, and they had to get out of the wagon and make it to the tree line before the idiots realized what had happened.

  He pulled back in and moved closer to Lettie. “Can you run?”

  “I can do what I have to do. My legs ain’t perfect, but if I’m being shot at, I can run.”

  The woman had grit. He was proud of her. “We’ve got to move fast. It’s going to hurt when you land, so I think we should go feet first. As soon as you can get up, run for the trees to the right. Don’t stop for anything.”

  “I’ll do what you say, but don’t think you can order me around every day. I don’t take orders well.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  Lettie frowned at him, and he kissed her hard. “Let’s go.”

  They both turned until they faced the front of the wagon and flipped onto their bellies. Then, like a pair of snakes, they shimmied backwards until their legs were hanging out the back of the wagon. The trick was in not letting Buster see what they were doing. If they did it right, the men wouldn’t realize they were gone until arriving in Benson.

  “Now.” Shane launched himself out of the wagon. He landed on his feet then his knees with a painful thud. Lettie was already scrambling to stand. By the time he was upright, she was running for the trees as fast as the wind.