If he said anything more I didn’t hear. I was fast asleep.
*****
This was the first time we slept together without John being drunk enough to pass out, and the first time he woke up just after I did.
He said, “Do you want to talk about this?”
“No, not really.”
“Good. Me neither. Want some coffee?”
“Yes. Bourbon free, please.”
He laughed. “Not even a little?”
“No, thank you. Not even a little. That is all for you.”
I plodded after him towards the pantry and he ran a hand over his face. “It’s so fucking weird not to be hung-over.”
“Isn’t it nice?”
“I guess.”
He made coffee in a coffee maker so old it could have been from my time, and I got sandwiches from the replicator.
John said, “Remind me to buy some real food. I’m tired of this synthesized crap.”
It tasted the same to me, but I liked the idea of food grown instead of being 3D printed with protein chains.
“How long is it until we get somewhere?”
He shrugged. “Depends on how fast we go.”
It was exactly what Adam would have said.
*****
I was apprehensive leaving the ship at our first stops, but this too became routine and I stopped keeping track of how long we traveled. We went from a station to a planet to another station. After a while they all looked the same.
Peeking out through the ship’s door, a long corridor stretched out in front of us.
“Where are we again?”
John chuckled. “GA… I don’t remember.”
I tucked my hands around his arm. Traveling with him was almost as being with Adam. Almost, but John was more lighthearted.
Not a bad thing.
“I miss the kid.”
Did he read my mind? I never thought of Adam as a kid, but maybe he was to John.
I had days when I could think of my lost love and keep the word “never” out of my mind. Someone stole a part of my life, but the pieces were coming back together, forming something new.
Thanks to John. Without him I would probably have died.
“C’mon, let’s get drunk and play poker.” John tugged towards a bar.
“I’ll watch you.”
“Probably a good idea. You are a lightweight.”
Just thinking of the one time I tried to keep up with him gave me a headache. That night he carried me to bed and tucked me in.
“I’m not good at poker either.”
John laughed. “Understatement.”
I usually watched him play and fell asleep leaning against him.
Time to change the subject.
“Do you miss Anya?”
Damn. That wasn’t what I intended to say.
“Yes and no. I miss sex. You know, she’s great, but these machines…”
Now when I had some distance to everything his words made sense. I loved Adam for a long time, still did, but some things were difficult. He wasn’t human, and he didn’t get it. The same was no doubt true for John and Anya. Not because either of them wanted to be difficult, but because they were different.
“I know what you mean.”
I missed him, but traveling with John was easy.
“Do you think…” I pinched my lips together. Some questions shouldn’t be asked and shouldn’t be answered.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Could we have had a chance, in another world? He was just like Adam, but human. He was the only person I could spend all my time with and not be frustrated or annoyed, and the same seemed to be true the other way around.
We had run away together.
I really needed to stop thinking about these things.
How did we reach the counter so quickly?
John grabbed my shoulders and smacked a kiss on my temple.
“Yes, I do think.”
Had he guessed what was on my mind, or was he making fun of me?
Impossible to know.
Impossible men.
Chapter Six
John had a knack for finding card games.
I could never figure out how he knew where and when they were. He had been to most of these places before and things might stay the same through the years, but it still impressed me. His instinct never failed and it was a matter of minutes before we were seated at a round table in an otherwise empty room.
Poker didn’t interest me, but I had no reason not to tag along. Besides, I was better off with him and bored than roaming around on my own. Left to my own devices anything could happen, and probably not in a good way.
This game held something that never happened before: a man who wasn’t interested either. He was young with short blonde hair, freckles, and blue eyes that tended to linger on me.
I nudged my chair closer to John and ignored the unwanted attention. It usually did the trick; John was a large man with large blasters and a large reputation. Few people wanted to risk aggravating him.
This guy clearly didn’t know what was good for him. He ambled around the table and put his hands on my shoulders, making me shudder. I had no wish being touched by someone I didn’t know.
He leaned forward and hot breath washed over my face. Ew.
“So wha’cha think? You and me?”
“No thank you.”
John said, “We’re busy. Go away.”
He looked at John. “She your girlfriend?”
The situation reminded me an eerie lot of my first time out with Adam on the Bell. One of the proprietors had wanted me to join his show. Adam denied my being his girlfriend, but threatened to throw the man out an airlock.
John had another approach. “Yes.”
The man said, “Prove it.”
Idiot.
John sighed and put his cards down. He slipped his fingers behind my neck and pressed his lips against mine. I didn’t mean to open my mouth and let him in, but I still did, and he kissed me thoroughly.
He tasted like bourbon and cigars, and it was still the best kiss of my life.
When he pulled back an eternity later, he winked at me before turning to the staring man. “I hope that’s enough, otherwise I’ll have to shoot you and that ruins the flow of the game.”
The man sat down on the other side of me and I nudged my chair even closer to John’s. He draped his arm over my shoulders and showed me his cards. “What do you think?”
I thought we should go back to the ship and continue what he just started. We must have traveled for almost a year. More than long enough.
“I think you have better judgment than I.”
He smiled and his gaze held me captive.
Someone said, “Are you going to play?”
John made a dismissive gesture.
I said, “Would you mind doing that again?”
“Not at all.” He kissed me again and it felt like coming home.
Next to me one of the other players whacked the intrusive man over the head. “Good going, Simon. You ruined the game.”
John ignored them. “Let’s get out of here. Let’s go find something to eat.”
*****
I didn’t think John really meant eat, as in actual food, but he did.
I followed him through long and winding corridors as he turned down restaurant after restaurant. How many could there be? Didn’t we have better things to do? If he were really hungry at least one of them ought to have something he’d like. Right?
The erratic search made sense once we found the right place. I sat in a plush chair with a stunning view of space. A planet hung outside like a jewel in the heavens, and its moons seemed close enough to touch.
“Wow.”
“I thought you’d like it. I just couldn’t remember the name of the place.”
He looked pleased with himself.
A holographic menu appeared on the window, showing images of food along with text in
several languages. I couldn’t read even one of them, but three down on the right looked good. It was a matter of minutes before I sipped red wine and scooped up delicious scalloped potatoes with a fork. The food was as good as the view was stunning.
Having a good time gave me a bad conscience. Adam had been gone for a long time, but it still seemed wrong to enjoy life without him, at least this much.
My dessert was as scrumptious as the meal and I enjoyed every bite of my chocolate creation.
Half-way through the plate, someone said, “You two sure get around.”
The voice was too well known, and impossible.
I froze, and put my spoon down slowly.
I must be hearing things.
My mind had finally snapped.
Maybe I was having some form of acoustic hallucination brought on by guilt from not just kissing John but enjoying it.
The explanation made sense, except John held a gun in his hand and stared at something behind me. If he heard the voice too it couldn’t be imaginary. We were close, but not close enough to share the same dreams or nightmares.
I turned around, feeling like the world moved in slow-motion.
The man behind me looked exactly like Adam.
He wore Adam’s uniform.
All the black Confederacy uniforms looked the same, but it had Adam’s insignia.
“You’re dead.”
“No.” The impossible man said the one word as if it explained everything.
The weapon in John’s hand did not waver.
“Actually, you are. We saw the Grendl explode”
“I wasn’t on the Grendl.”
“Your captain would beg to differ. He saw you there in the bowels of the ship seconds before you teleported him out and blew it up.”
John’s eyes, hands, and voice were steady. Thank heavens. I sure wasn’t.
Adam shrugged. The matter was clearly of little or no importance to him.
I corrected myself; this wasn’t him, it couldn’t be, and I would do well remembering it.
“Whoever you are, you’re not my husband. The real Adam wouldn’t follow us for months. He would send a message to let us know he was okay.”
“I wanted to tell you in person.”
If I had been alone I would have considered myself paranoid for thinking this was a trap, but John seemed to share the sentiment. He rose up, keeping the weapon fixed on Adam’s chest.
“Alex, get behind me. We’re going to the ship.”
My heart wanted to believe. It claimed I should throw myself in his arms even though I just made out with John and wanted to take his clothes off.
How sweet it would be to be held and told everything would be alright.
I didn’t even care who said it anymore. I just needed to hear it from someone. They were basically the same person and one of them should be able to say it.
Adam’s sudden appearance after a violent death and long absence was too strange and uncharacteristic. Fear and caution were prudent.
John kept himself as a shield between me and the man looking like my husband. Adam did not move as we left, but I imagined I could feel his stare on my back.
“Who do you think he is?”
John grabbed my hand and glanced back over his shoulder. “I don’t know.”
“Could someone be trying to get to the Bell through us?”
“Maybe.”
“Should we have stayed and talked to him?”
“No. If someone went through the trouble of imitating Adam or building a machine looking like him they’re too dangerous. We need to leave.”
Good point.
He pulled me along in such a hurry I had to jog to keep up. It was a matter of minutes before the station disappeared behind us and we dashed into hyperspace.
Even when we were far into space, in the middle of nowhere, I didn’t want to leave the bridge. This ship was home now and it was safe, but staying on the bridge made me feel better. In control.
John seemed to agree; he stayed too, putting his feet up on a console.
He said, “I sent a message to the Bell, but it will take some time for them to get it.”
How did that work? Relayed between other ships probably, but we were moving, and they moved.
Trying to figure it out would give me a headache.
“It just looked so much like him.”
“It did.”
John sighed. “Alex, you know I love you, right? I have always loved you.”
I nodded. “I love you too. This was a really confusing day.”
“I know.”
When the computer dimmed the lights for evening, I didn’t know what to say or do. Earlier in the day I’d been certain we’d reached the time to abandon sofas for a proper bed and comfort-cuddle for more adult activities. Now I wasn’t so sure.
John took command of the situation. “I’m going to the lounge. Want to come?”
“Yes. Yes I do.”
Curling up in his arms didn’t woo me to sleep like it usually would.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t…”
“Yes.” He sounded confident and kissed the side of my head. “You’re going to wonder if that was really him, and if sleeping with me would be cheating, and you might think you want to, but a part of you would feel guilty. See, I know a lot about women.”
I had to laugh. “I guess you do.”
“Alex, the four of us, it’s complicated, but we have the rest of our lives to figure it out and get it right.”
He was right. I snuggled closer and drew comfort from not being alone.
*****
John took everything with great calm, but I couldn’t. I still fretted when we reached the next station.
Why would anyone play such a cruel prank on us? And who?
Outside our windows a large construction glittered in the dark. The lights made it look like a giant Christmas ornament. I didn’t know what month we might be in. Seasons and time had ceased to matter, but I could always pretend this was the right time for a holiday.
It didn’t matter. Not even Santa could bring back the dead. I needed to stop thinking about it.
John docked and we left the ship side by side, but I froze as soon as we entered the main corridor. There was no mistaking the tall figure leaning against a wall, waiting for us.
“How the hell?” John muttered through his teeth.
Adam was faster than I. He took my hand and I steeled myself for pain. The impostor had gotten hold of me and now I would be dragged off to whatever grim fate awaited. Maybe there was another Eve somewhere, still yearning for revenge. Adam’s evil sister would have been smart enough to build more androids, and she would get a kick out of toying with us.
I had suffered through torture by android once. Not an experience I wanted to relive.
The anticipated pain never came. The imposter held me gently, just like the real Adam would. “Please, just let me talk to you. Maybe we could have dinner?”
Busted.
“Androids don’t eat.”
The smile that flashed over his face seemed genuine.
“I know I don’t eat, but you need food. And since you’re going to eat anyway, a restaurant is neutral ground.”
Say no. Just say no.
“Okay.”
Dammit. Why couldn’t I let my brain call the shots for once?
He gave my fingers a slight squeeze. “Seven, station time. Right over there.”
I nodded, captivated. At this moment I could have sworn he was my husband.
“Adam, do you remember the first time you took me out on the Bell?”
“Of course.”
“What did I have?”
“You asked for a pink drink with an umbrella. Arcturian voyage. Leonard from the club wanted to recruit you and I threatened to throw him out an airlock.”
The real Adam would know this, but so would anyone with access to his memories. On the other hand, no one could have access to his memories, because they w
ere destroyed along with the rest of him.
He lifted my hand and pressed his lips against it. “Seven. I look forward to it.”
Then, he was gone, swallowed by the crowd.
John huffed. “Why did you agree to that?”
“I have no idea.”
“We need to get supplies, but after that we should leave.”
“I have to meet him. I promised.”
He rolled his eyes. “Fine, but I’ll be right there.”
Chapter Seven
I hadn’t brought much from the Bell, but my room held some treasures. One rested in a box in the back of the closet. It was the first thing someone gave me when I first came to the Bell, with amnesia. Adam had bought me a dress, wanting me to feel pretty when he took me down to the promenade for dinner.
The memory filled my eyes with tears. He had been so patient, waiting for me for all that time, hoping I would remember. I’d had time to fall in love with him all over again before my memories returned.
It was a long time ago. The dress might not even fit anymore.
Looks shouldn’t matter, it wasn’t like I was meeting the real him, and I could just as well wear a burlap sack. The impostor was good, but not good enough to fool me. Right?
I still pulled it on and fluffed my hair, and when I entered the bridge, John whistled through his teeth.
“You are gorgeous.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you think it’s him?”
Straightforward question, but impossible to answer.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. He’s dead, but this… whatever it is, he’s so much like him in some ways. And then not at all.”
The sentence made no sense, but John understood. He always did.
“I know. I don’t trust him.”
“That is wise. We shouldn’t.”
John escorted me off the ship, made sure I was comfortable at a table, and nodded towards the bar. He would be nearby, ready to interfere if needed, but far enough away to give an illusion of privacy.
Dear, sweet John. Did I ever tell him how wonderful he was?
I looked away from him and eyed the entrance. It had been a long time. Would Adam still find me pretty?
I downed my drink and corrected myself. Whatever the impostor might think made no difference, because it wasn’t Adam, and I needed to keep that in mind.
Deadly Betrayal Page 4