Creepin’

by L. A. Banks

  Chapter Four

  * * *

  Hours had passed while I curled on the floor of the bathroom floor, racked with pain. The blood was tossed in the far corner, my back to it. I really, really didn’t want to be damned by the Lord.

  I think I’m a fairly ordinary black chick for my age as far as religion goes. I’m not the overly religious or churchgoing type at this point in my life, but my religious indoctrination runs deep, you know?

  My three sets of foster parents were all churchgoing people where the family income was supplemented by taking in foster kids. Sunday school was a requirement. Some of my happiest times were at Bible school and singing with the church choir.

  Although my unhappiest times were at home with the people charged to raise me, it seemed God cared and would eventually set things straight. It wasn’t until I grew up that my faith started to crack a bit and I’d wonder sometimes where He really was and what He was doing while we suffered.

  Cold sweat coated my body and sharp pains shot through me. I was dying. I’m only twenty-three years old, just out of college. I don’t want to die. I’ve only started to get it together and live.

  I used to be a model, not the high fashion type, but the type that’s shot in scanty bikinis and sometimes less. I appeared in a few rap videos, trying to live the glamorous life, full of men, sex and drugs.

  But I tasted the funky aftertaste of that life real quick. I found out that bling and flash doesn’t make me happy, that the men who fucked me were unsatisfying and only considered me at most an accessory and, at least, another wet hole, that getting high only made me lose myself and feel worse in the end.

  Like Andre, I decided to make a change. I went back to school, graduated and got a job in an ad agency doing graphic art. My job was just all right, very routine, but I’d only just begun. I loved my art.

  When I met Andre, everything clicked. I looked into his eyes and it was like seeing my other half. All of a sudden, I wasn’t alone anymore. And I’d only just realized how deep the bruises of my past ran. I was working on trying to stop tromping on my inner wounds so they could heal and trusting that Andre cared.

  Now, after all this, with happiness touching my fingertips, I was going to die? It wasn’t fair.

  And on top of everything, it hurt like hell on goddamn fire, too. What if I stopped cussing and went to church three times a week, stopped fornicating until Andre married me, then would God let me take a little sip of blood? Please?

  I wept. I don’t want to die. I hurt so bad. I can’t bear it. I don’t know how long I sobbed, but it must have been a long time.

  When I came back to myself and lifted my head, a bag of blood was in my hand, my mouth wet.

  It seems I’d made my choice. I wasn’t strong enough to die.

  I sucked all three bags dry in what seemed like a few minutes. The pain receded and I could feel the life pulsing within me. I hoped it was worth it.

  I wiped my mouth and stood swaying. The world was two shades darker. The air was thick, dark and full of shadows. I opened the bathroom stall, afraid.

  I sensed presences all around me. Malevolent, twisted presences. Oh, God, I thought. Then I remembered with despair that He was no longer mine to call upon.

  I looked into the mirror and gasped. I didn’t have a reflection. I heard a scream in the distance followed by the grunts of what seemed like an animal in pain.

  I was in the same place, but somewhere different too. The shadows weren’t the same. Along with the darkness, everything seemed covered with some sort of scum. There was a faint foul odor hanging in the air, like something decaying.

  I reached to touch a shadow and jumped back. The darkness opened. I backed away, staring into another place where people floated as if they were lost, and a variety of monstrous and twisted creatures moved, fought, fucked and killed.

  The doorway closed after a moment. Was I now on the edge of hell? How much would it take to push me completely in?

  Beyond worried, I buried the empty bags of blood in the bottom of the trash. The clock on the wall said 5:00 a.m. I needed to get back to Andre, hell or no.

  In the elevator, I saw a sign, “Hospital Chapel, 3rd Floor.” I took the detour because I had to know for sure. The chapel was close to the intensive care and surgery units, appropriately near death. The delicious metallic smell of blood grew more intense.

  A glow emerged from under the chapel door. It was from no human light source. A feeling of awe filled me as I realized the place was sanctified by the light of the Lord. I approached, trembling and fearful. Through the glass window, I could see two people, kneeling in prayer in front of the altar.

  As I edged closer to the glow, it felt like sunlight. You understand that wasn’t a good thing, but I pressed toward it anyway. I touched the chapel door and jerked my hand away, staring at the painful burn marks on my inner fingers.

  I touched the outside of the wooden door. The heat was intense, like there was a fire on the other side. Probably for me, there was. If I opened that door and went in, I’d be incinerated and be cast straight into hell.

  Fat tears dripped off the tip of my nose. This was too much. Holy places were forbidden to me. Crosses, ankhs, stars of David and any other symbol sanctified to the Most High would probably burn me, too. Blessed water would feel like acid. It was true, all true about vampires because we drank blood—stole sacred and forbidden life. I was damned by God.

  I knew if Andre found out about my choice and what I’d become, it would be over between us. Evil is a choice. All vampires need to die, he’d said. He could never know, would never know. His love was the only lifeline to humanity I had left.

  Andre was awake when I walked in the room. “The nurses thought you’d gone home,” he said. “I saw you left your purse and cell, but I was worried.”

  “I couldn’t sleep. I went to the hospital gym to work out.” The lie rolled off my tongue easily, as if it was second nature. I guess for damned creatures, it was.

  “My doctor is going to discharge me once he gets here to make rounds. Apparently he has office hours in the morning and that won’t be until afternoon,” Andre said.

  I squeezed his hand. “Good.”

  “We can’t go back to my place. Dahlia will return.”

  “I know. We can stay at my apartment.”

  “We’ll get something bigger soon, maybe across the Bay.”

  “It’s only a place to live. What matters is that we still have each other. Look, I’m a mess and I need to go home and change. I’ll get you some clothes and be back in a few hours to pick you up.”

  “Don’t go back to my house, I mean it. Take care of yourself, Joy.” His gaze met mine, serious. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you. It was as if I spent my entire life alone until you came to share it with me.”

  Emotion washed through me. I thought I was drained, that my prior storm of emotion had washed me clean of grief, regret and mourning for what was, but his words filled me like the swell of an ocean. He’d voiced exactly what I felt.

  Andre was my soulmate and finding one was rare as diamonds. But now I was a vampire, living on the edge of hell and damned by God, with human joys beyond and behind me. But somehow I’d figure out how to manage. I wasn’t going to lose him.

  I kissed him again to hide any truth in my face and eyes from his searching gaze. “I love you.”

  Chapter Five

  * * *

  As I left the hospital, I saw that ghosts walked the now dark and shadowy halls, confused spirits that thought they were sick or dreaming rather than dead. I was in a hurry to get home, but stopped short when I saw a ghost of a little brown girl, probably around seven, with huge bruises and terrified eyes.

  Other than the ghost of the girl being semitransparent, she reminded me of myself as a child, sadder than any kid should be, alone, lost. She wore Sesame Street pajamas. Sesame Street had been on a long time. I wondered how long she’d been wandering the hospital halls. I wonder how
she died.

  I kneeled in front of her. “You’re lost, honey?”

  She nodded and opened her mouth, but I couldn’t hear her words.

  “Look around. Do you see a light that doesn’t seem to come from anywhere?”

  She pointed to her left. I squinted at where she’d pointed, and saw the faint glow emerging from the shadowed mists. It must be an entranceway to a place forbidden to me now.

  “Go, run to it. The ones you love and who love you are there. They’re waiting for you.”

  She hesitated, looked at me and tried to take my hand. Her hand passed through mine. “No honey, you can’t come with me. Go over there now. Hurry. It’s the right thing to do, I promise. I’ll wait here.”

  She looked at it again.

  “Don’t be scared. It’ll be all right.”

  Finally, she nodded and made her way to the light. I saw it envelop her and got a glance at the sudden excited and happy expression on her face.

  I dashed my sleeve across my wet eyes, got to my feet and brushed my jeans off. The security guard stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. I suppose it looked like I had, crouching on the floor, talking to nothing. “I just sent the ghost of a little girl off to heaven,” I told him as I passed.

  I went to Andre’s house, no longer scared of the blonde vampire. In fact, I hoped she showed. I’d love to beat her slutty ass down and saw her fiancé-stealing head off. I visualized the knife I was going to get to do the deed. I dug out an outfit I’d hidden, something I bought as a gift for Andre and hadn’t given him yet. It was expensive and leather, not something I’d normally wear, but I hoped it would suffice.

  I took out my contacts, which were starting to feel like boulders in my eyes and went to get a new pair. I blinked as I realized that I could see perfectly. My contacts were no longer needed. That was one reason things looked so blurry and different. A vampire virus cured my nearsighted vision? Had to be some research possibilities there.

  I could understand my vamp kin wanting to stay on the down low though. The whole being damned and blood drinking thing was a bummer.

  When I got to my place, everything seemed normal, other than the weird shadows, otherworldly chatter and occasional ghost hanging on the street. FYI, ghosts look just like anybody else, only not as solid.

  I parked Andre’s car in front of my door and covered up as well as I could with a blanket I’d swiped from the hospital. I dashed to my front door as if the sunlight was acid rain, which was how it felt. I put my key in the door lock and turned. The door opened and I started to step through the door and was knocked flat on my ass.

  It was as if the air had thickened to some hard substance blocking the doorway. I tried to push through, but I wasn’t getting into my apartment. If this wasn’t magic, what was? My logical orderly world and my neat little vampire theory was crumpling all around me, ripped to shreds by angels, ghosts and magic. I couldn’t get into my own fucking house.

  I sprinted back to the car, my skin burning at the onslaught of sunlight. Once behind the filtered glass, I punched numbers on my cell phone, angry. Loretta would come through, she always did. Sure enough, she answered on the first ring.

  “Girl, I need you to do me a major favor,” I said. “It’s a little strange, but I’ll owe you big time.”

  “Whazzup? You know I got your back, though I’ve hardly seen your hide lately. Where is that fine-ass man of yours anyway? Never mind. I likes to keep my man from the other bitches too. I get it.”

  “Could you come over to my place? The key is under the front mat. I’ll be over in a little bit. I’ve got something important to tell you.”

  “You won the lottery?”

  “Naw, not that good, but if you need some bucks you know I’m good for it.”

  “Cool. I’ll be right by.”

  Loretta was always broke. But she was my girl from way back. She was also in the foster care system, the same agency as me. She’d had too many bad men, too many pregnancies, too many disappointments and heartbreaks, and I knew it broke the girl.

  A pang went through me as I thought of her kids, my godchildren. Loretta was the same age as me, 23, but she had three kids. The oldest was eight, named Joy after me. Everybody called her JJ for Joy Junior and I thought that was great. My little man Jackson was six and the youngest girl was named Chai, she had just started kindergarten.

  I looked after those kids, bought them shoes and coats and most important, kept them out of the goddamned system. If I died or changed profoundly over this vampire shit, I didn’t want to think about what might happen to them.

  The most important thing in the world to Loretta used to be her kids. But now…She’d needed something to get by, to help her to feel different. I understood. After the world treats you like a piece of shit for so long it’s hard not to believe that’s what you are. Loretta had needed not to feel like a piece of shit, at least for a little while.

  But now she was a slave. She didn’t even want to be herself anymore; all she wanted was to be high. Once that stuff possessed you, it often crowded everything else out, even your soul.

  Loretta was a good friend despite everything. Because of Andre, I’d been the self-absorbed one lately, and I didn’t have despair and drugs to blame. I didn’t know what else to do for her but take care of her kids as I could. She said that was enough and sometimes she’d cry and thank me out of nowhere. But it didn’t seem like enough. Even if I managed to save her kids, which I wasn’t sure I could do, I knew I couldn’t save her, my only true friend.

  I sighed and steeled myself to brave the sun. I darted to my apartment door and secreted my key under the front mat.

  Loretta pulled up a few minutes later and I crouched down into the seat. She wouldn’t recognize Andre’s car since we never went anywhere together.

  I peeked as she got the key and went in. I waited a moment before I got out of the car and rang the doorbell.

  “You don’t have your key?” Loretta said, as she pulled open the door.

  “Invite me in.”

  “What are you talking about? This is your own place. Invite you in where?”

  “Humor me, Loretta, and invite me in.”

  “Why you all wrapped up in a blanket like that? You look like a crazy woman. Looks like you slept in those clothes too.”

  “Invite me in, Loretta! Dammit, I’m burning!”

  “Shit. Well, come on in then.”

  I held my breath as I stepped through the doorway and exhaled a sigh of relief when the wall of air was gone.

  “What you high on and can I have some?” she asked.

  I ignored Loretta, and shivered with pain. My skin felt burned and blistery like I imagined a severe sunburn would feel.

  “Do me another favor, Lou. Please close all the blinds and curtains. Hang blankets and quilts behind the curtains if you can. Make it as dark as you can in here. Lately, I’m allergic to the sun.”

  “Allergic to the sun?”

  “Just do it girl, please?” I made my way to my windowless bathroom, dropped my clothes on the floor and stepped into the shower to cool my feverish skin. The chilled water against my skin felt real good.

  When I got out, I checked the mirror and did a double take. No reflection. Dang, it was freaky. I stared at the air that was where the image of my face was supposed to be.

  Being damned caused one to lose their reflection? I frowned. Reflections were caused by light bouncing off a reflective surface. Was the fact that I could cast no reflection emphasizing the point that I was now damned? that my light gone?

  The burning church thing was enough. I didn’t need any more reinforcement of the fact. How was I going to get my make-up on right and tell how I was dressed? But that was small potatoes compared to being damned in the sight of God, I suppose.

  But I couldn’t dwell on that or I’d go crazy. Maybe I was crazy already. There was the possibility of that and frankly, a life on anti-psychotics was looking like the better option.

  �
�There was fourteen dollars in your purse,” Loretta said when I went into the kitchen.

  I know Loretta would steal money from me in a heartbeat, but we had a tacit agreement that if I was so careless to leave my purse out, it was fair game as long as she told me what she’d taken.

  “I gotta go to the bank. But now we need to get rid of all the mirrors.”

  “You into some vampire shit deep, huh?”

  I blinked and stared at her. How could she know?

  “What do they call that shit? Goth. That’s it, Goth. I didn’t know any black folks went for that dumb shit, but you always been different.”

  “Thanks, Loretta.”

  I never said that Loretta was stupid. She wasn’t. “C’mon, I’m going to get the mirror off the dresser, and I need you to take it out. The sunlight, you know.”

  She followed me to the bedroom and jumped a step away from me. “Dang, I know I ain’t smoked anything, but have you noticed you ain’t casting no reflection in that motherfuckin’ mirror?”

  Uh-oh. “Uh, yeah, I know.”

  “It’s reflecting everything else, including me, just fine, but your vampire ass isn’t showing up.” She waved her hands in front of her eyes. “Maybe I’m having a flashback.”

  “No, you’re okay. It’s me. You’re right. I accidentally turned my silly self into a vampire last night.”

  “Oh.”

  There really wasn’t much else she could say, I guess.

  “Tell me this. How do you accidentally manage to turn yourself into a goddamned vampire?” she added.

  “You get in a fight with the vampire fucking your boyfriend and bite the shit out of her, thus sucking her blood.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, it’s not much of a plan, but it works.”

  “You done moved on over to crazytown with me.” She sucked her teeth. “It’s nice to have some company.”

  I handed the mirror to Loretta forgetting to account for my increased strength and it crashed to the floor, shattering.

  “Shit!” I reached to pick it up and promptly speared my hand with a shard of glass. Blood welled from a good three inch gash. What got me was it didn’t even hurt.