The Day Of The Wave

by Wicks, Becky

  'Yes.' I cross my legs. I realize I must have forgotten to shave the side of one of my calves because suddenly it feels more spiky than the other one. I pull the sheet further up from the end of the bed. Hopefully he won't notice.

  'Izzy? Your boyfriend put mosquitoes in a jar?'

  'Yes, he didn't want to kill anything.'

  Ben tilts his head back and laughs out loud; so loud it makes me laugh straight away. I can't help it, I've never seen him laugh like this. I slap his shoulder though, get to my knees. 'Shut up!' I say, but he clutches his arm and doubles over, laughing even harder. I whack him again and he leans back against the headboard. 'Stop, Ben!'

  'Oh God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he says, holding up his hands, 'but that is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Does he sponsor malaria, like, the benefits? Does he have a T-shirt with Save The Mosquitos on it? Or Dengue Derby? Can I get one? I want a Dengue Derby shirt...'

  'Ben!'

  The image of poor Colin rescuing the mosquitoes, standing on a chair to make sure he could reach them comes back to me in full colored craziness and I'm having to try really hard not to laugh again myself. 'He was just being nice.'

  'Izzy...' Ben stops himself, folds his arms across his chest again. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh, I don't even know the guy.'

  Neither do I anymore. I uncross my legs and lie down flat on my back. I can still hear the rain on the windows and the howling of the wind, though it's not as strong as it was this afternoon. The fan is blowing the net about.

  'It's like a princess's cape,' I say quietly, touching it with my fingers. 'I used to dream of having a bed like this when I was a kid.'

  Ben lies on his back, too, looks up at the fan and rubs his eyes. 'I know,' he says after a moment. You told me.'

  'When?'

  'When I met you. I don't know, you told me a lot of things but you definitely mentioned a princess bed.'

  I squeeze my eyes shut. 'It was in the resort, in my room, on Khao Lak,' I say as my head spins. 'The rooms were really nice. I'd never seen anything like them before.'

  The memory makes us both fall silent. I'm so aware now of Ben's body, of the heat of him and the weight of him right next to me. If I wasn't so cutely inebriated, as he put it, chances are I would be an absolute nervous wreck by now, but actually, even though I can sense that things are a bit weird, I also feel pretty comfortable. I'm so tired.

  'I've never slept with a guy apart from Colin,' I say out loud. Ben's grins, turns his head to me on the pillow.

  'So you keep saying.'

  I tut. 'I meant slept next to, like, in a bed with.'

  'Is it weird? You and me?' he says.

  'Yes.' I turn my head to face him, too. 'But not that weird. I never laughed about dengue in bed before. Or anywhere for that matter.'

  He smiles at me with his perfect American teeth, shifts his whole body so he's lying on his side, studying me. His eyes are a darker blue in the low light, almost gray like the storm. The stubble round his chin is thicker. I like it; it makes him look older and even more manly. I can hear another mosquito buzzing. It must have slipped inside the net but I'm feeling floaty and dreamy now and I can't even be bothered to swipe at it.

  'So you got your notebook back, in the purse?' Ben asks, in a softer voice. 'The one with all the ideas in it for your book?'

  'Yes,' I say. I'm so tired now. So, so, so sleepy.

  'When are you going to start working on it?'

  'On my birthday,' I answer. 'Week after next.'

  'It's your birthday in two weeks?'

  'Hmmmm,' I say. My limbs are feeling really heavy. I'm aware of the blanket being pulled up with the sheet, Ben switching out the light. I feel the bed move as he lies back down again and shifts position. I can feel his face close to mine on the other pillow, but I'm drifting, spinning and drifting.

  'What day is your birthday?' he asks.

  'September twenty-seventh. Libra. Very balanced, like the scales,' I babble and I hear him laughing softly to himself. 'And you're a Gemini,' I follow sleepily, 'I remember. 'We're both air-signs.'

  'Is that why you blow me away?' He's still chuckling as he says it and I wish I could open my eyes, but I can't anymore. 'You're the most interesting person I've ever slept with... or not slept with, hot cross bun,' I hear him tell me through his smile. 'And you might not remember this in the morning, but your Ghostbusters look is kind of rocking my world.'

  I shuffle closer, till I can feel his heat without us touching. I want us to be touching. I shouldn't but I can't bring myself to care. Ben is still facing me. I can feel his breath like a whisper; feel his fingers now, stroking my hair back behind my ear, lingering a little too long on my skin. Through my haze I extend my own hand slowly, trace a finger lightly across his shadowed jaw, then his nose, his eyebrows, his soft lips. I trace his profile, right down his neck and his chest, till he flattens my palm to his heart and holds his hand over it.

  It's beating fast.

  I drift, spin, drift. In the back of my mind something's screaming: this is where it starts, stay awake, don't let this end yet. I drift, spin, drift. 'I'm sorry I'm so drunk,' I hear myself say.

  Ben pulls the sheets around me higher. 'You did it for your country, Izzy. I'm proud.'

  I feel him move my fingers to his mouth; feel him kissing them one by one, feel the smile that's still a curve on his lips. 'Now go to sleep.'

  BEN

  'Isla! Isla! Isla! Isla!' The three little boys are running circles around her in the play area, screeching. They spot me as I walk towards her and Marcus, switching up their chanting to 'Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben!'

  'Hey guys!' I say as they run up to me now instead. 'How are we doing today? Are you being good for Miss Isla?'

  'Yes!' they all chorus, clapping their hands when they see I'm holding a big pack of Chupa Chups. I give it to the oldest boy. He's six, almost seven and he takes it, runs away with the others behind him, all shrieking. The noise levels kind of hurt my head. My hangover's only just starting to subside.

  'Lollipops?' Izzy says as I reach them. She lifts her sunglasses.

  'They only get candy once a week, but seeing as Marcus is leaving...'

  'Too late man,' Marcus says, 'I already gave them some. You just doubled their sugar levels right before we send them home. Way to make the parents love you.'

  I laugh as Izzy makes a small groaning sound. 'How's the head?' I ask her. She groans again. She's wearing the blue dress. Every time I see her in it I get the same jolt to my senses that I got in Bangkok, when I first spotted her and didn't actually believe it was her. It's hard to believe she's here now, working at the school, extending her stay.

  'I'm feeling better than I did on that boat this morning,' she says now, watching the rest of the kids stop what they're doing to chase the lollipops that are being thrown high in their air. They race to catch them across the dust and grass.

  'That wouldn't take much,' I tease her. I realize Marcus has just done a double take at my face.

  'Did you get too close and personal with a cat?' he asks, leaning in closer to inspect the scratches.

  'Something like that.' I put a hand to my cheek automatically. Izzy chews on her lip, pulls her sunglasses back down. 'So, what did you learn at school today? I ask her, changing the subject, kicking the ball that's rolled over to me again.

  'We went through the basic lesson plans,' she says as Mali comes up and loops her arms around her waist. I noticed Mali taking a shine to Izzy before and it seems she's more besotted than ever. Izzy strokes her hair, smiles down at her. 'An hour of spelling, an hour of reading, forty minutes of art...'

  'And you can alternate some music if you can play, they love anything musical,' Marcus adds.

  'She does a mean Endless Love,' I tell him.

  'I've scheduled karaoke in for Mondays,' Izzy follows. 'You're on the second mic.'

  'Only if I get Chupa Chups too,' I reply and she snorts as Mali pulls her over towards the swings. When she's out of earshot, Mar
cus folds his arms across his badly ironed button up shirt, raises his eyebrows at me pointedly. I clear my throat. 'You're coming to Pete's tonight for your last night?' I say. 'There's a movie on the beach, too.'

  'Love to,' he says. 'Anything else I should know before I go?'

  'Nothing at all,' I say, feigning innocence, probably unsuccessfully. 'I think these kids are going to love Izzy almost as much as you, man. I can't thank you enough for what you've done, you'll be missed.'

  'I'll be back,' he says, 'when the monotony of the corporate world starts choking me in my sleep.'

  'I can't even imagine. Come back before that happens,' I say as we both watch Izzy pushing the girl on the swings. In spite of her hangover she genuinely looks like she's having fun, and it's obvious the kids adore her already.

  I don't know if she remembers much about last night, but we both remember this morning. I woke up first to find her arms wrapped around me, and more surprisingly, mine, locked around her. For a second I assumed it was Kalaya, but then I remembered she wasn't there, and I never spoon anyone, ever. I also remembered that nothing physical happened with Izzy. Of course, there was the object in my shorts I kept having to hide at the sight of her bare legs and the curve of her breasts in her glow-in-the-dark Ghostbusters pajamas, but the joining just happened in our sleep.

  Thankfully Izzy brushed it off, got up without saying a word. Well, she groaned a lot, like she did the whole way back on the boat. I try not to smile. Marcus is looking me now, looking at her. 'Right,' I say loudly, 'Izzy! Sonthi rode your scooter here, he's waiting by the road with it, we should go.'

  She gives the kid one more push on the swing and hurries over. Her hair is doing that crazy shining-in-the-sun thing again. I can see the reflection of the clouds in her sunglasses. It's not as hot now it's rained a little, but there's a lot more rain to come and it's written in the sky already. 'He got me the scooter already?' she says.

  'I didn't think you'd want to ride on this gravel just yet.' I point to the uneven path leading up to the school. 'But the road's pretty quiet at this time, you can follow me slowly. I'll take Sonthi on the back of mine.'

  'OK, sounds good.'

  'See you at Pete's,' Marcus says, 'You're coming too, Izzy, I assume?' I don't miss the suggestive intonation, or the look he throws me as the kids all rush up to her again and hug her goodbye. She pretends not to catch it, lets herself get swept up again in the adoration.

  'Training went well then, in spite of your head?' I say when it's just the two of us on the path.

  'I love it, Ben! They're so adorable, and they really want to learn. I can't imagine kids in the UK being so excited about learning colors.'

  'Colors are pretty cool,' I tell her. 'So how long are you staying? You've got your passport back now... I guess you can leave whenever you want.' Please don't go, please don't go.

  She nods. 'I'm still waiting on holiday approval,' she says, 'but I asked for another three weeks, if that's OK?'

  Thank you! 'That's more than OK. I'll have more free time too, once the season ends for good. Mind you, it will be rainier...' I stop on the path suddenly, fold my arms across myself. I have to tell her. 'Listen,' I say. 'Before we get back, you should know I broke things off with Kalaya.'

  Her eyebrows shoot up above her sunglasses. 'Already?'

  'I'm an injured man,' I say, leaning my cheek further towards her. I realize my heart's sped up.

  'OK, well, how did she take it?' Izzy mirrors me now, folding her own arms. Our own limbs are a block against what we really want to say, or do, I'm sure. I can feel it from her too now, no question. I chew on my cheek. I may omit some of the details about Kalaya; like the names she just called me and the way she threatened to pierce my new masks and cut all my wetsuits in the crotch with a switchblade. She didn't cry; she was just angry, so I think she was issuing empty threats. I hope she was.

  I've had a few girls act like that when I've broken things off in the past, but even though I've never had anything slashed it's never, ever the end. They always text a few hours later with the sad face emojis and I'm sorries and I miss yous and that's when more crying starts. Then I apologize and we agree to be friends forever and talk in a few weeks. Then we never do - usually because I'm long gone and untraceable.

  Izzy's still looking at me, eyes narrowed. 'She took it OK,' I say, motioning her on towards the bikes.

  'Really?'

  'Let's not talk about it.'

  'OK.' She almost laughs. 'As long as I don't have to fear for my own face.'

  'It's only Scottish thieves who have it out for your face,' I say.

  'Maybe you're right.'

  'Where you been?' Sonthi asks in annoyance now, climbing off Izzy's bike when he sees us. 'We have night dive!'

  'Chill man, we're good,' I say. 'It's not even sunset.'

  'Yeah but I meet Sasi for sunset,' he says, passing Izzy her helmet and handing her the keys.

  'Sasi? When did you guys start talking again?'

  'We just did,' Sonthi frowns defensively. I notice Izzy's eyes run up the huge scar on his leg as he crosses to my bike and sits on the back. I climb on with him, pull my helmet on.

  'What about Claudette?' Izzy asks.

  Sonthi shrugs. 'Claudette gone.'

  Izzy says nothing. All things considered I think she has a pretty good idea by now of how things work around here, but I'm not exactly going to dwell on that any more than I have to. A life of shallow hedonism isn't exactly my proudest achievement.

  Izzy's pretty good on the bike; slow and cautious as I assumed she would be, but it's not long before we're pulling up where the path carries on to the back of Dream Dive. 'I have to do some admin but we'll just be hanging here, if you want to stay?' I tell her. 'Sunset hair-of-the-dogs are on me.'

  She groans again, pulls a face that makes me laugh. Her sundress has ridden up on the seat and she looks so cute on the scooter with her bag of notebooks hanging from the hook under the dash; like some kind of foreign exchange student. I pull out my phone and tell her to pose, snap a photo. 'Don't put that on Facebook',' she tells me.

  'No chance, I don't have an account anymore,' I say. 'You coming?'

  She looks like she's not sure. The sun is lower in the sky now, highlighting her cheekbones with streaks of amber under her bulky helmet. So damn dangerously beautiful. 'She won't be there,' I tell her.

  Sonthi lets out a snort behind me. 'Kalaya want to kill,' he says in a low dramatic voice and I nudge him, hard.

  'Seriously, Izzy, she won't be there. She got straight in a car to the airport, said she was going to Bangkok. Even if she was there, I promise you you'd be fine. Sonthi has kung-fu skills.'

  He snorts again at the lie. Izzy shakes her head despairingly, re-starts her scooter and starts following us down the path.

  ISLA

  Ben's right, Kalaya's not here, but it doesn't stop the thumping of my heart anyway, sitting here with Sasi, watching Sonthi and Ben gear up for their night dive. There's an older couple going with them. I think they're staying in one of the posh resorts up the beach.

  'What are you thinking?' Sasi says, swigging from her can of Fanta opposite me at the blue and white painted table. I shrug, take a sip of my canned Aloe Vera - which Ben says is good for a hangover. I refused the beer.

  'I'm thinking how I really don't want to be here, but I'm going to make myself stay anyway, probably because I'm stupid.'

  'Because of Kalaya?' she asks. 'You scared she come back?'

  'No.'

  Sasi taps her can on the table. I know she's Kalaya's friend, but I'm speaking the truth. 'Because this is right where I was the last time I watched Ben go for a dive,' I tell her. 'And it didn't turn out all that well.'

  Somehow Ben's daytime dives are easier to deal with than the thought of him going down there in the darkness tonight. Even though the setting sun is splaying on the ocean in awesome tangerine sparkles now, I know it will soon be black and it will swallow him. I don't know how he does it at al
l, and he still hasn't told me what happened out there, on that day. I'm only here because I would have been just as nervous sitting back on my deck; maybe even more so.

  'So, you and Sonthi?' I say to Sasi, when I realize she's looking at me to fill the silence. 'Are you back together?'

  She smiles. She's really pretty. She has shoulder-length black hair with dyed hot pink ends and three piercings on the top of the left ear, all holding silver stars on loops. Her English is as good as Sonthi's. 'I don't know, we on and off for long time,' she says. 'I just broke up with a guy, same like Ben broke up with Kalaya. For you.'

  My cheeks flame as though she's just thrown boiling water on my face. 'He didn't do that for me,' I say quickly. 'She scratched him, she was just... possessive.' Is that what they're all going to think?

  'She is jealous for a reason,' Sasi says sternly. From the look on her face I imagine they've talked about it. If Justin pointed it out, and Marcus pointed it out - if only with his eyes - I'm pretty sure Kalaya pointed it out to her friend. I don't know if Sasi's angry with me, though. My eyes follow hers to Sonthi. He's walking with two tanks now, one on each shoulder, towards the boat. He's laughing with one of the tourists. 'What happened to his leg?' I ask her.

  'He was trapped after the tsunami,' she says, leaning on her elbow and twisting the can around under a finger. 'In a building site. He got stuck and he couldn't move for four hours, but that saved his life I think. The water could not carry him. He had three operations in Bangkok, but always scar.'

  'At least he's alive,' I say, looking down at my arms on the table now. I've always liked them and hated them at the same time. They're reminders that I lived, but they're reminders that I almost didn't. She looks at them too, reaches out and runs a finger lightly up the branch-like crisscrosses.

  'You're a survivor,' she says.

  'And you,' I say. 'I heard you lost your brother, I'm sorry. I saw his name on the wall, at the school.'

  'Yes. He was four,' she says, keeping her eyes on Sonthi as he walks back up the beach towards us with his unzipped wetsuit hanging around his middle. 'We all lost people. It makes us strong, together, you know?' She taps her can even harder on the table. 'Maybe we all should remember, Izzy. This life does not last forever. Stupid not to be with the people who make us happy. Even if those people are stupid, no?' She laughs to herself as Sonthi reaches us, kisses the top of her head.