All Who Dream (Letting Go)

by Deese, Nicole

  “What time, Angie?”

  “Around two.”

  He exhaled hard. “No wonder you didn’t answer your phone! You were still asleep.”

  I sat up straighter and looked at him—suddenly conscience that I hadn’t yet brushed my teeth, a stale taste on my tongue. “Is today Saturday? What time is it?”

  His mouth curled on one side, though I knew he wasn’t exactly amused. “It’s almost noon. You were supposed to meet me at my place at nine—for breakfast, remember? When you didn’t answer my calls I assumed you were just running behind, but then…”

  My heart flooded with warmth at his unspoken words.

  “You were worried about me?”

  He lifted my tangled bed-head hair, and let his fingers run through the strands gently, making my belly swim with sensations that felt brand new to me.

  “Yes, Angie. I was worried about you.”

  I swallowed hard, hearing the emotion in each syllable that Jackson so rarely shared. A giddy pleasure built inside me as I watched him. I pursed my lips together, trying to keep the smile off my face—but resistance was impossible.

  “That’s funny—my distress is funny to you?” he asked, his voice laced now with mischief.

  Uh-oh.

  “No Jackson—don’t, please!” I shrieked, scrambling to get off the couch as he pulled me back toward him, poking at my ribs and tickling me so fast my head spun.

  He laughed as I squirmed. Unfortunately, he had a hold of my foot before I could re-direct him. He laughed even harder as my hysterical giggles started in. I was helpless when it came to tickling. Cody had learned this long ago.

  “Say it, Angie.”

  “Mercy! Mercy!” I cried out between breaths.

  “And?” He baited, trapping my left foot in his hand, half my body on the couch, the other half on the floor.

  “I’m sorry—I shouldn’t have stayed…that long when I told you I was leaving.”

  He dropped my foot.

  “Okay, and that, sweetheart is an apology I’ll accept.”

  I stood up and punched him in the arm then escaped quickly toward my bedroom.

  “I’m taking a shower,” I called over my shoulder. “Do not come in.”

  He kicked back against the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  As I closed the door I thought I heard, “Or maybe I will.”

  **********

  When I walked out into the living room, fully dressed, Jackson was watching TV—a basketball game. He smiled at me, his eyes sparking to life. My stomach clenched. Being with Jackson in such close quarters was going to be the death of me.

  “I have a surprise for you tonight,” he said coolly, hands behind his head as he slouched on the couch.

  My eyebrows shot up. “Really? What is it?”

  “Did you not hear the surprise part of that sentence?” He laughed.

  I mock-kicked him, only he caught my leg, knocking me off balance. His arms braced me as I fell into his lap in one swift movement—almost as if he’d planned it. I laughed as he grinned like the Cheshire cat.

  “I hate surprises, Jackson,” I said, warning him.

  “You’ll like this one.” He stared at my lips and the floor of my stomach bottomed-out.

  I pushed myself up to a sitting position, ignoring his protest when I scooted off his lap. “You seem pretty confident about that.”

  “I am.” He winked. “Quite.”

  I studied him, trying to guess what he had in store. Knowing Jackson though, the possibilities were limitless.

  “Should we make a wager?” he asked. “If there is even the tiniest hesitation that you might not love it—I’ll gladly succumb to any fate you choose for me.”

  I bit my lip, toying with my necklace. “Fine, but I’m warning you—I’m the girl who reads the endings of books after the first chapter. I don’t like surprises.”

  He gaped, but swatted my hand away as I reached up to close his mouth, “That should be a crime. You’re the worst kind of book reader there is—spoiler!”

  “It’s not a spoiler…I just want to make sure everyone ends up happy! Then I’ll enjoy the journey so much more.”

  “That’s messed up,” he said, shaking his head.

  I laughed. “Hey, I’ve never claimed otherwise.”

  He silenced me then with his lips on mine, and suddenly my concerns of a surprise evening were no more. Jackson didn’t need a wager—his kiss was enough.

  **********

  After lazing around all afternoon, telling story after story about our childhoods and family life growing up, Jackson stood up abruptly at 4:00.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, shocked as his hand was on the knob before I could even stand.

  “I need to get ready for our surprise date tonight,” he said, smiling.

  “Oh, so it’s a date?”

  He lowered his brows as if questioning my sanity. “Of course it’s a date—what did you think it was going to be—a new type of green smoothie combination? No wonder you hate surprises.”

  I laughed hard as he watched me, grinning in amusement. He walked over to me then and pulled me into an embrace that made me instantly weak. “There’s just one requirement.”

  I eyed him suspiciously. “What?”

  “You have to wear your gold dress.”

  I shook my head and laughed. “I just wore it to Broadway two weeks ago, Jackson.”

  His facial hair scratched across my face lightly as his lips found my ear. “Sweetheart, you could wear that dress every day, and I’d never complain.”

  He pulled away before I could respond and opened the door, “I hired my on-call driver, Russell, to pick you up in an hour and a half. I’ll be waiting for you.”

  I opened my mouth, but like usual, Jackson made it impossible to refute. He always had the last word because there was usually nothing left to be said after it.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  On the way to my mystery date, I called Cody to check in. He had played his first scrimmage and was full of stories—all of which made me laugh. Apparently, Charlie got sick during the game and had thrown up in the bushes, but as Cody put it, “I told everyone it was not gross—she is just pregnant.” I smiled at his sensitivity as a twinge of remembrance ran along my lower abdomen.

  “I love you, buddy, and I miss you to infinity.”

  “I miss you to infinity, too, Mom,” he said. “Are you with Mr. Ross right now?”

  “No, why?” I asked, surprised.

  He paused for a second.

  “Cody? Why did you ask that?”

  “You just sound really happy…like you are when you’re with him,” he said, his voice slightly hesitant.

  “Well…I’m actually going out on a date with him in a little while…how do you feel about that?” I asked, unsure if telling him now was the right thing to do or not.

  “I like him, Mom. He’s cool,” he said, cheerfully. “Uncle Briggs and I talked about him last night.”

  My heart rate suddenly increased as I thought about what their conversation must have entailed. Surely Briggs would not have shared more than I would have agreed to, he wasn’t that stupid. “What did you talk about, exactly?”

  “Well—I don’t want you to get mad,” he said.

  “Cody, I’m not going to get mad. You can tell me anything. You know that.”

  He sighed. “I asked him about my dad—my dad that hurt you.”

  I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before I could respond. “Okay. What were you curious about, bud?”

  “I just—I wanted to know if he was the reason you haven’t married anyone else.”

  “Oh, buddy, we’ve talked about this before. You are my first priority.”

  “Yeah, but mom?”

  “Yes?” My heart was in my throat as I croaked out my reply.

  “It’s just…I really liked my New York family,” he said matter-of-factly. “I miss them.”


  I sighed.

  “I told Uncle B that maybe you could marry Mr. Ross and maybe he could be my new dad—like the real kind of dad?”

  I held my necklace pendant and fought back tears. “I don’t know what the future holds, buddy, but you are a very loved young man whether our family grows or not.”

  “I know, Mom. Um—Uncle Briggs has dinner ready. I love you.”

  “Okay—Cody?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you more.”

  As I hung up the phone and slipped it into the clutch purse that Pippy had picked out to match this very dress, the town car rolled to a stop. Instantly, I was filled with a nervous energy as I looked out the window at my surroundings.

  The Manhattan Harbor.

  My door opened, and as I stepped out, careful to hold my dress up, I saw him. Jackson smiled regally, waiting at the edge of a long dock wearing khaki dress pants and a light blue polo.

  “Here you are, Miss,” Russell said, as he closed my door behind me.

  “Thank you.” My breath caught at the sight just beyond where Jackson stood.

  No…way. Was he serious?

  Jackson must have figured out my shock was completely immobilizing as a second later he was at my side, smile undeterred.

  “You surprised?” Jackson asked arrogantly.

  I nodded, speechless.

  “And you’re not unhappy?”

  I shook my head.

  He laughed.

  “Great, now that we have that settled, let’s board.”

  I turned to him, my eyes growing wide with awe, “We’re—we’re going on that boat?”

  He chuckled. “Yes, though technically it’s called a yacht. The captain is fairly particular about that fact.”

  My mouth gaped as Jackson dragged me forward toward the dock. “I can’t believe this is your idea of a date night.”

  “Believe it, sweetheart,” he whispered against my hair as tiny prickles ran up my spine and neck. “That dress deserves its own yacht.”

  I laughed then, stepping onto the beautiful plank floor of The Cecilia. The captain and three young men dressed in white coats—two with chef hats stood steps away from where we entered the yacht.

  “Good evening, Miss Flores,” the older man in the captain’s hat said as he kissed the back of my hand. “I’m Captain John Cogswell—but people know me as Captain Cogs around here. I hope you enjoy your evening tonight. We will be taking a romantic tour around the harbor, and I’m sure Jackson will point out all the essential highlights as you eat our spectacular four-course meal prepared by Ivan here.”

  I noted the casual way in which Captain Cogs referred to Jackson, deciding that they must know each other quite well outside of this date night. Ivan introduced his two staff members and then left immediately to return to their preparations in the galley. I was still in shock as Captain Cogs smiled and pointed out the various amenities on the 75-foot-vessel.

  Jackson led me to the small table inside the saloon, surrounded by gigantic windows that seemed to span from floor-to-ceiling. It was still fairly warm outside, so I guessed that he wanted to eat in the air-conditioning. I didn’t blame him for that. It would be much more enjoyable than sweating in this silk dress.

  Jackson pulled out my chair as I took in the beautiful décor around me.

  I glanced up at him as I settled onto the offered chair. “I am still in such shock Jackson—this is absolutely incredible.”

  “Cogs was a good friend of my dad’s. He was happy to oblige my request—especially since it involved a gorgeous young woman.”

  “Jackson—that might be a new record for you. Two compliments in less than twenty minutes,” I teased.

  “I told you, I only speak the truth,” Jackson said.

  My face warmed as I unfolded the napkin and placed it on my lap. The waiter bustled in with the wine and a plate of shrimp appetizers.

  “Before I wine and dine you, I wanted to tell you something.”

  “What is it ?”

  He slid his hand on top of mine. “I had a friend of mine do some checking for me…on your ex. He’s still in prison, Ang. No chance of parole for him anytime soon. You’re safe. I hope that can put your mind somewhat at ease so you can sleep without the nightmares.”

  My eyes filled with tears. “Thank you.” You’re amazing.

  He said grace and then we dug in. For the next two hours, we ate course after course of the most delicious food I’d ever had in my life. Our dessert was banana foster, and it was to die for. After two glasses of wine my head got a tad fuzzy, and decided I was probably more of a lightweight than I thought. It’d been years since I’d had any alcohol.

  Jackson asked a lot of questions about Cody: What was his first word? What had he been like as a toddler? What kind of student was he? With every question my heart became more and more tethered to the man who sat across from me.

  Jackson had never talked so much in one setting, it was refreshing. No, it was wonderful.

  “So tell me, Miss Angela Flores,” he said, pushing his dessert plate aside and leaning onto his elbows. “How might a man such as myself convince you to dance with him?”

  I pursed my lips, mirroring his posture as I leaned onto the tabletop , even though the action was against the manners I had worked so hard to teach my son.

  “I think he should simply start by asking.”

  “Hmm…you’re big on the asking thing,” he said, brow furrowing slightly.

  “Yes, it is such a strange request.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Dance with me?”

  I smiled, knowing for Jackson that was probably the best ask he could produce and still be himself. I touched my necklace, making him wait a good five seconds for my answer.

  “I would love to, Mr. Ross.”

  “Good answer.” He smirked. “Another few seconds and I would have resorted to tickling.”

  I shot him a dirty look as he grabbed my hand and led me to the aft deck. The sky had darkened considerably, but the lights from the city were breathtaking. From where we were now, the Statue of Liberty was visible and completely illuminated. But even more beautiful were the stars that had appeared sometime while we were eating.

  The night was beyond perfection.

  On evenings like this one could not dispute the existence of God.

  Jackson tugged my arm as a hard gust of wind blew my hair off my face and shoulders. I regretted not pulling it back—but I also had never expected to be in the middle of the harbor on a yacht either. Not all things could be planned for I guessed.

  I laughed as a sweet acoustic melody began to play through the speakers that surrounded the deck. He slid his arm around my back and I scooped my hair to lay over my left shoulder, trying to avoid it whipping either one of us in the face with the constant breeze. Jackson’s planted a kiss on the right side of my neck, and my knees weakened beneath me.

  “I love it when you wear your hair like this,” Jackson said quietly, his cheek pressed to mine.

  And just like that—a few hair whippings suddenly seemed so worthwhile.

  He held me as we danced under the stars, song after song playing in the background of the most perfect night I had ever experienced. We’d spent hours talking today, but the silence we shared now felt like an even deeper connection.

  I let my mind wander back to Cody’s words from earlier.

  “…I told Uncle B that maybe you could marry Mr. Ross and maybe he could be my new dad—like the real kind of dad.”

  The truth was: I wanted Cody to have a dad too, but until recently, I didn’t have a shred of hope for that. This was a scary path for my mind to travel down, and an even scarier one for my heart. But my feelings for Jackson had intensified since my internal revelation at the lake house last weekend. They had staked a claim, woven their plans into my soul, and had utterly paralyzed me with their power. Yet tonight, another truth gripped me as I swayed to the music.

  I was no longer the woman I was six weeks ago
, nor was I the same mother, friend, or sister. Love had thawed every frozen emotion. It had exposed every unfounded insecurity, and freed every imprisoned truth.

  Love was the strength to my every weakness.

  Falling in love with Jackson had changed everything I used to be. And it had allowed me to dream—again.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked, holding my body against his as a cool breeze blew against my back and bare shoulders.

  I smiled and shook my head. “You first.”

  I thought he would refuse my deflection, but as usual, he surprised me.

  “I was thinking that I don’t want you to leave next week.”

  My chest ached. I didn’t want to leave.

  “I know.”

  “It feels like you just got here—hard to believe that was five weeks ago.”

  “I know.”

  He was quiet for a minute more, and then pulled away slightly to search my eyes. “There are so many things I wish I could promise you, Angie,” he said, his eyes reflecting the beautiful torment I could sketch in my sleep. “So many things I want for you—and for Cody, but I won’t make promises I can’t be sure I can keep.” He kissed my lips softly, closing his eyes before he continued, “But I-”

  “Ahem…Mr. Ross?”

  You have got to be kidding me.

  We both turned to look the second staff member Ivan had introduced us to, now turning all shades of red as he realized his social faux pas. He looked at the ground as he spoke to us.

  “The Captain wanted to me tell you we’re in route to be back to port in thirty minutes, and the fire place has been lit in the saloon for your enjoyment.”

  I felt Jackson’s body relax as he nodded his head once. “Thank you.”

  The young man nodded in response and disappeared.

  “So much for perfect timing, eh?” he said.

  I laughed, hoping we would finish this conversation inside.

  Jackson tugged on my hand to take me in, but first I asked to look over the railing. He smiled in agreement. I leaned over and stared into the dark water below as the wind whipped my face and hair. The moment was powerful. I closed my eyes, committing it to memory.