A Love for Leah

by Amy Lillard

  Gracie gasped. “I don’t know how to make those. Just soap and lotion.”

  “We can learn how. Or not. We don’t have to do it at all. We can make this as large or small as we want. It’s up to us, and since we’re already using the shop space, there’s no overhead.”

  Gracie looked up at the ceiling.

  “She means no hidden expenses,” Hannah explained.

  “Oh.” Gracie nodded. “Of course.”

  “What do you say?” Leah asked, looking from one of them to the other.

  “I say we do it.” Hannah’s eyes lit with excitement.

  “I’m in,” Gracie said, still frowning. “But what’s a sulfate?”

  * * *

  “Are these the only Amish clothes you have?” a strangely familiar voice asked the following day.

  Leah turned from her chore of checking tags and hangers to look at the woman. Deborah King. Jamie’s ex-fiancée. If Deborah recalled meeting her, the recognition didn’t show on her face. But Leah definitely remembered meeting Deborah.

  “There are more items in the far back section. But they are trade items. If at all possible.” Why was Deborah King in her shop looking to buy Amish clothing?

  “I don’t have anything to trade. That’s why I’m here. Can I buy some of the items?”

  It was on the tip of Leah’s tongue to tell her yes, then charge her double, but that wasn’t fair. She needn’t be so mean-spirited. “The items aren’t inventoried for sale, but you can take whatever you need, on one condition.”

  Deborah eyed her skeptically. They must be distrustful up in Tennessee. “What’s that?”

  “That once you’re finished with the items, you donate them to someone in need.”

  Immediately Deborah’s demeanor shifted. “Oh. Jah. Of course.”

  “Then take what you need.” Leah turned and made her way back to the front of the store, but she could feel the violet stare of Deborah King nearly burning a hole in her back.

  She might think Leah was all kinds a fool for giving things away, but it was what the Lord had called her to do. And so it was exactly how she was going to go about it. Her heart felt light at the prospect as she went to the front of the store to rearrange the lotion shelves. She needed to add a sign advertising their new offering of custom-made fragrances. Marjorie Hale would be in tomorrow to pick up her fragrance, and if she wanted it all to herself, she could pay an extra fee to have it exclusively. Well, Marjorie wouldn’t—since she had virtually developed the idea, Leah decided she would give the woman a discount. And with any luck this would be the start of a new business adventure for her, Hannah, and Gracie.

  “I can’t keep washing my clothes every other day,” a woman said on the other side of the partition. Deborah King again.

  “You should wear one at home like the rest of us and save your best dress for when you go out. Toting water is too much of a chore to be so frivolous.” That was Sarah Hostetler.

  “I’m not trying to be frivolous, but I can’t be going around in a dirty housedress and apron.”

  So her solution was washing her clothes every day? In a community with no indoor running water, Leah had to agree with Sarah: frivolous.

  “What if Jamie comes over?” Deborah continued.

  Sarah sighed. Even though they were separated by a large slab of drywall, Leah could still hear it. “That’s just the thing. Do you really think he’s coming over? He hasn’t been over since that first day.”

  “He’s just hurt. I need to give him some time.” Deborah’s tone turned defensive.

  “He’s had almost three weeks.”

  “Not nearly enough. A man like that has his pride. He may keep it hidden from the church, but trust me, it’s there.”

  Leah could attest to that.

  “It’s just a matter of time,” Deborah said, “before he realizes what he’s missing and we go back to Ethridge. Together.”

  Sarah didn’t comment. Leah wished that she did. She would like to know what others around Deborah thought about her and Jamie as a couple.

  If Leah was being perfectly honest with herself, she would acknowledge that she was a little jealous of the relationship Deborah thought she had with Jamie. If Leah believed it to be real, she might be a lot jealous. But according to him, there was nothing more between him and Deborah King. And she hoped it was true. For Peter’s sake.

  “You know what Mammi always told us,” Sarah said.

  Leah hadn’t realized that she and Deborah were kin.

  “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?” Deborah laughed. “Not at all. I’m just reminding him that he’s thirsty.”

  * * *

  Deborah’s words and her throaty laugh followed Leah for the rest of the day. She heard them as she straightened all the racks and restocked the shelves with kitchen glasses and flatware. As she swept the floor, dusted out the windowsills, and turned the sign to closed.

  Those words and that sultry laugh shouldn’t have bothered her. She shouldn’t have given either one a second thought, but here she was with them replaying in her head like a stuck recording.

  “What up, Aunt Leah?” Brandon asked as she let herself into their apartment.

  “Huh?” She focused her gaze on him, only then realizing that she had been walking in something of a daze.

  “You okay?” A concerned frown lined his forehead.

  “Yeah, sure. Fine. I’m fine.”

  “Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that.”

  She set her bag on one counter and pulled out a chair from the kitchen table. She plopped down into it and propped her chin in one hand. “What do you think about the Amish?” she asked.

  “Huh?”

  “What do you—”

  He nodded. “I heard what you said. I just don’t know why you’re asking me.”

  Leah shrugged. “You never had any experience with the Amish before you came here. What do you think about them?”

  He eyed her for a moment, and she was certain he was trying to figure out if she was pranking him or not. Satisfied, he pulled out the chair across from her and sat. “They’re strict.”

  “And?”

  “Loving.” He smiled. “They make the best pie and—”

  “And what?” she asked when his words cut off.

  “They seem to really love God. I mean, I went to school with kids and had friends who said they loved God, but not like the Amish do.”

  “God’s will,” she supplied.

  “I’m sorry?” he asked.

  “The Amish believe in God’s will. If their dog gets sick, it’s God’s will.”

  He frowned. “God cares about my dog? I mean, if I had one.”

  “Not a single sparrow can fall from the sky without the Father knowing about it,” Leah paraphrased.

  Brandon seemed to let that sink in. “Pastor Joel spoke on that a few sermons ago.”

  “That’s right.”

  “What does this have to do with you and Jamie?” he asked.

  Leah drew back. “What?”

  “You and Jamie,” he said, slower this time. “Isn’t he why you came in all moony-eyed?”

  “Whatever.” She waved a hand as if the motion alone would dispel his question.

  “Come on, Aunt Leah. I see how you look at him when you don’t think anyone’s watching.”

  “I don’t look at him like anything.”

  Brandon grinned. “He looks at you like that too.”

  “He does?” She straightened. “I mean, whatever.”

  “Uh-huh.” His grin deepened.

  “There is nothing between me and Jamie. And there never will be.” Saying the words out loud should have been therapeutic, but it only made her stomach hurt.

  “Why not?”

  “Long story short? He’s Amish, and I’m Mennonite.”

  “It’s really t
hat big of a deal?” he asked.

  “Mountainous.”

  He gave a loose-shouldered shrug. “Then change it.”

  “What?”

  “Change. It.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Seems like it to me.”

  He was right, but only if the person was willing to change it. She couldn’t become Amish again. It just wasn’t possible. How could she take such steps back? Simply feeling like it was retreating was enough to tell her that joining the Amish church wasn’t an option for her. And Jamie wasn’t joining the Mennonite church. What happened when two people who cared about each other were too stubborn to give? They lived alone for the rest of their lives.

  Pride or not, Leah wasn’t sure spinsterhood was a goal she wanted for herself. But could she change it? There was only one way to find out.

  * * *

  Saturday morning dawned an imperfect day. Unless a person liked cloudy, overcast, and growing-chilly sorts of days. It was only mid-October, but the air held a bite that promised winter was on the way. However, this was northern Mississippi. Today could be forty degrees and tomorrow nearly eighty. There was no telling what the weather would bring.

  The rock painters met in the church parking lot and devised a plan for dropping off their offerings all over town. Leah and Jamie drew Main Street, while Brandon and Shelly drew the other side of town.

  “Can Peter go with us?” Brandon asked.

  “Is that what you want, Peter?” Leah asked.

  He nodded in that enthusiastic way of his. He hadn’t been back to school. Not since the problem earlier in the week. Leah couldn’t blame Jamie for not wanting to send him back to a school where it appeared he was failing, but she knew that he couldn’t stay out forever. Sooner or later he would have to go back. And she wasn’t convinced that he could thrive in such an environment.

  “Jamie?” Leah asked, turning toward him.

  “It’s all right with me. You know where we’ll be if you need us,” he added.

  “We’ll be fine.” Brandon smiled down at Peter. “Won’t we?”

  He nodded again, and the three of them headed off to Brandon’s car. The teen had really taken to Jamie’s son. As far as Leah was concerned, it was just another check mark in the “win column.”

  Jamie was stiff as he watched Shelly and Brandon drive off with Peter. Was he regretting letting Peter leave with the teens?

  “Brandon won’t let anything happen to him.” She did her best to reassure Jamie.

  He merely nodded. “I know.” He turned away, but the car was long gone.

  “Come on,” she said. “I’ll drive us over to Main.”

  She parked her car in her usual place behind the shop, and together she and Jamie started walking down Main. They left one rock in the window at Twice Blessed and another under the picnic tables at the end of the building. But they still had several to leave.

  They walked and talked about nothing and generally had a good time in each other’s company.

  “Are you worried about Peter?” she asked.

  “Because he’s with Brandon?”

  She shook her head. “About school.”

  “A little.” Which meant a lot. But that was Jamie, allowing his faith to downplay his emotions.

  “You won’t be able to keep him out for long.”

  “I know. But I can’t send him back there.” They walked in silence for a couple of heartbeats. “I’ve been wondering about computer school.”

  Leah stumbled. “You what?”

  “Is it so unbelievable?”

  She shook her head and tried to get her bearings back. “No. Uh, yes. Yes, it is.”

  “I feel like I’m out of options.”

  “You have them. I know sometimes it feels like you don’t, but they’re there, just waiting to be discovered.”

  “That’s my prayer.”

  Leah stopped. “Jamie, come to church with me and Brandon tomorrow.”

  It was his turn to falter. “What?”

  “Come to church with us. We would love to have you, and you might learn something new.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Leah’s request stopped Jamie in his tracks. “Church?” He said the word as if he’d never heard it before.

  “Why not?” She shrugged. “It’s an off-Sunday.”

  He shook his head, then nodded. “Jah. It’s not a church Sunday for us.”

  “But?” she prompted.

  “But it’s not part of the Ordnung.”

  “There’s nothing in the rules that says you can’t come visit a church with me.”

  That was true, but he felt like he was manipulating the words until they suited his purpose. Yet he was curious about her church. He wasn’t sure when it started. Maybe when they were painting rocks. Or maybe it was the first time he had seen Leah Gingerich with her conservative prayer covering and modern car.

  “Jamie.”

  He turned his attention to her.

  “Come with me. I want to show you our church.”

  “Why?”

  “Does there have to be a reason?”

  His stomach fell as he realized the motivation behind the invitation. “Is this so you can get your doctor friend to look at Peter?”

  The shock on her face couldn’t have been feigned. “No. Of course not. I mean, I would love for the doctor to talk with Peter, but I would never arrange for something like that behind your back. Never.”

  He believed her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “All this stuff with Peter and Sally’s parents.” He shook his head. “It’s got me all jittery.”

  She smiled, and he felt as if he were in the direct presence of the sun. “It’s okay. You love Peter, and you want what’s best for him.”

  “And you do too,” he said.

  “Absolutely.”

  They walked down Main Street, looking for places where they could leave rocks for future hunters. The town’s annual pumpkin-decorating contest was in full swing. Each store had some sort of pumpkin plopped out front. Some were carved, but more were painted with everything from the Mississippi State Bulldog to the Rams, the local high school mascot.

  “Did you make a pumpkin?” he asked.

  Leah shook her head. “The city wanted everyone to participate, but it didn’t seem right. Not quite godly. You know, maybe even a little pagan.”

  “You could have painted one,” he said.

  “Like we did the rocks?”

  “Exactly. That’s not so pagan, is it?”

  She shrugged. “Not sure. But it seems a little better than carving a scary face into one.”

  “Right. No jack-o’-lantern; just a painted pumpkin.”

  Leah grabbed his sleeve. “We could paint it with a Bible verse.”

  “Just like the rocks.” His grin widened.

  “Do you think Peter would like to help?”

  “I know he would.”

  They walked a few steps in silence.

  “We could paint it tomorrow after church,” Leah offered.

  “Is it really that important to you, that I see your church up close?”

  “Yes,” she said simply. “I think you might even like it.”

  “Jah. Okay then,” he found himself saying.

  “You’ll do it?” Her face could barely contain her wide grin. “You and Peter will come to church with me?”

  He nodded as she bounced on her toes like an excited schoolgirl. He had no idea why this was so important to her; only that it was.

  They left two more rocks on their trip down Main, then turned to make their way back to the shop.

  “Did you put that one out?” Leah pointed to a painted rock at the end of the building.

  Jamie shook his head, then made his way over to fetch it. The rock didn’t look familiar. It was about the size of his palm and almost perfectly round. Someone had painted it pale green, with a large multicolored cross and small red hearts. Around its edge they had written a verse. Eph
esians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

  “It has to be one of ours,” Leah mused. “Unless another church is putting them out as well.”

  Jamie turned the rock over. There was nothing on the back. Leah’s church had marked theirs on the back in case anyone wanted to contact the church about the message they had painted on the front. He flipped it back over and read the verse again.

  By grace you have been saved.

  “Or maybe a family,” Leah mused. “I could see Shelly’s family doing something like this too.”

  By grace you have been saved. It is the gift of God.

  “Jamie?”

  He jerked his gaze from the rock to Leah. “What?”

  “Are you up for something to eat? I thought we might go get a burger. You know, the five of us.”

  By grace you have been saved.

  “Five?”

  “Me, you, Peter, Brandon, and Shelly.”

  “Jah.” He nodded. It is the gift from God. “That sounds fine.”

  * * *

  They stopped for a burger at the café at the edge of the building. It was a beautiful fall day, and they opted to be outside at the picnic tables around the side.

  Leah looked across the table to where Shelly, Brandon, and Peter sat. Jamie was next to her, and she couldn’t help but wonder what the passersby thought of them. A Mennonite, two Amish, a conservative Christian, and an Englischer. She supposed they appeared like some sort of new-world blended family.

  What would happen if she and Jamie could find a way to remain together? What would happen to Brandon? Nothing, if she stayed with her church. And that was how it would have to be. She had promised Hannah that she would take care of her son. Even if Leah wanted to join the Amish church, bend her knee, and ask for forgiveness, she couldn’t. She had Brandon to think about.

  “Did you know there’s a rumor going round that you are returning to Ethridge?”

  He wiped his mouth, his eyes wide over the napkin in his hand. “No.” He swallowed, his voice thick.

  “So you’re not? Planning to return to Ethridge?”

  “No. Not at all.”

  She tried not to look too relieved. “I’m glad. I thought you were settling in here nicely.”

  The kids had found one of those super bouncy balls they sell out of gumball machines. They had taken it to the end of the building, where they could throw it against the bricks and take turns catching it. Such a simple pastime, but it seemed to bring Peter great joy.