The Seeker

by Kingsley L Dennis

  Jacob realized that he could see his own thoughts as they fled backwards past his vision. And yet he should not be able to see, let alone stand back to observe. A separate part of Jacob’s mind began to arise, as if observing the observer. Another presence made itself known…

  Jacob - this is you. I am you. Watch as it all goes by. This is everything. It is what has become you and yet it is not you. I am you and yet I am not. Don’t think on this…You cannot think beyond me. Let it be…Let them take the residual traces. They cannot find the you that is I. I AM.

  Fuzziness went through Jacob’s head, and then a feeling of nausea as if an elastic band had just been pulled back and let go again. His mind felt like it was bouncing around inside his head. The observer that had observed had now gone, retreated, and he was a simple observer again, plastered in front of a projector screen that was his own mind. How could this be? How could he be observing and thinking simultaneously?

  He wasn’t thinking…he just thought he was. And yet both assumptions – both thoughts – were an illusion. They were set up to give him the security of a mind. He had no mind. That was why he was a Seeker. They had no minds of their own. They were a collective, an assimilation of seeking parts…a simulation of seekers. There was only One Seeker – could only ever have been only ONE SEEKER. Why had he not known this before? It was so obvious now. It had been obvious all along, yet he had not seen the signs. Not wanted to see the signs - not able to? Or something…someone…not wishing him to?

  But there were no signs. That was also an illusion, a deception from his own mind wanting him to think that. This was all a delusion. Nothing here is or was real. It’s a set-up; some kind of reaction – a security response? But from where – from his brain? Yes, that was it. This was all anticipated from before. It was set-up from the beginning. They knew he was coming…and yet so did his own mind too. Did he have his own mind?

  Do you have your own mind?

  And then there he was, sitting at a table checking some instrument. There were others around him doing similar things. It looked like a laboratory of some sort. He was looking out – looking out of where? – onto some working scene. He was there amongst them, working at his desk. How did he know it was his desk? He just did. And there were some experiments to do. He received a message in his head. He had to go and see the director. He stood…wait…losing it…

  Can you bring it back? We need to see that scene again, it’s important. Those were memories from his pre-activated mind.

  Ping – ping – ping…then another flash.

  Jacob felt nausea again; he was falling. It was like seasickness within some unfathomable space of the void. Then…

  …That was all he remembered…before he awoke. And then he remembered nothing.

  43

  It was a small room. Jacob lay upon a single bed. Beside him was a small table and chair. A large spotlight was embedded flat within the ceiling above and emitted a strong light that effused the room. Jacob sat up and rubbed his head. He saw a white band strapped to his wrist. It seemed to be plastic of some sort; no visible seam. He pulled back the sheets to step out of bed. As soon as his feet touched the floor he felt a low buzz and vibration that tingled against his skin.

  ‘Jacob-9, please remain where you are. Assistance shall be with you shortly.’

  Jacob blinked. He needed time to recollect his thoughts, to remember exactly where he was. The room reminded Jacob of a cell…yes, that was it - a meditation cell. He was here for preparation; to be purified for the preparation. It was the end of his pilgrimage. Was he being prepared now?

  The door to his room slid open and a young clean-shaven man entered. He was wearing the same full length white robe as Jacob with a similar green square emblazoned in the top left corner.

  ‘Greetings Jacob-9, I am Abe-14. How are you feeling after the probe?’

  Jacob shook his head. ‘The probe? What happened to me?’

  ‘All Seekers are probed upon arrival. We need to verify their histories. To know they are who they claim they are. You will be glad to hear that we can confirm you as Seeker Jacob-9. Now that you are here amongst us, there is no need to refer to yourself as a Seeker. Here we are all seekers. The spiritual path is the only true democracy.’ Abe-14 gave a salutary smile.

  ‘But you let me in – you permitted me entry. Didn’t you know then that I was a Seeker?’

  Abe-14 nodded. ‘We could verify you were one of us; that you were Brother Jacob. If that were not so, you would not have been granted entry. And there are others who try, if they are lucky or determined enough to seek out and find the city. Yet we needed the probe to establish that you were Jacob-9. Now we can begin to get you accustomed to your new home – Nous-City.

  Jacob stood up and paced around the small room. ‘And where is Kaine?’ he asked.

  ‘The one you refer to is Kaine-3. He greets all new entries, although it is below his station to do so. Yet he wishes to know each new arrival in person. You will meet him again when you are invited to do so, as you do not yet have access beyond your level.’

  ‘My level?’ Jacob looked at Abe-14 blankly.

  Abe-14 tapped the left side of his robe. ‘Square Green.’

  Jacob frowned. ‘The spiritual path is the only true democracy,’ he said, looking squarely at Abe-14, who didn’t appear to recognize the irony.

  ‘Spirituality requires structure,’ he replied, and turned to leave. ‘Your orientation will begin shortly. Welcome again – and be prepared, Jacob-9.’

  ‘Immanentize the eschaton,’ called out Jacob as Abe-14 was about to exit the room.

  Abe-14 turned and gave Jacob his first smile. ‘You’ve much to process. And you won’t be needing that any more.’ The door slid closed.

  44

  Kaine-3 had been looking over the charts for a long time, and each time he scanned them they puzzled him more. They had retrieved the memories from Jacob-9 and yet there seemed to be something missing. There were sequences blacked out, or rather it appeared to be that they had been moved and stored elsewhere as if to block their retrieval. In other words, some memories were being deliberately hidden. Yet they were not – could not be – done by Jacob’s regular functioning mind. It simply didn’t function that way. Kaine-3 was suspecting whether there was some newly developed activity that had become conscious…conscious enough to want to hide specific memories beyond the mind itself. It was clear that Jacob had no conscious awareness of this taking place within his own mind. That was why Kaine-3 had asked for an audience with Zuse-1; as Head Operator of Nous-City this was something Zuse-1 needed to be informed of.

  Kaine-3 left his office quarters in the Circle Zone and made his way to the Central Dome that served as the hub to the city. The Central Dome was the commanding voice and the philosophical heart of Nous-City. This was where the elite priesthood were housed. All decisions on the running of Nous-City came from the Central Dome. And within the centre of the dome itself was a smaller dome that was referred to as DOC. Everyone had come to assume that DOC stood for Dome of Command. It was said that no one except the Head Operator, Zuse-1, was ever permitted to enter. Inside, it was understood, sat the real Commander of Nous-City.

  ‘You may enter, Kaine-3.’

  The door slid back and Kaine-3 entered the room. Inside it was circular, with a large desk at the far end. Despite it being the Head Operator’s private office it was sparse and basic. As in all of Nous-City, function preceded form. Or rather, form and luxury were not seen as necessary; they were a remnant of extravagant human consumption from before the Great Turning.

  ‘You have something for me, Kaine-3?’

  Kaine-3 nodded. ‘I think we have an Anomaly.’

  45

  Jacob was provided with an orientation tour of the Square Zone. Until his report came back he would not know which role and function he had been designated. This didn’t seem to bother Jacob. For now he was more interested in learning and seeing something new. His guide, Dane-8, was a tech
nician from the Triangle Zone. Dane-8 had been assigned to Jacob to show him around the Square Zone and, under careful observation, some of the Triangle Zone. Jacob had already acquainted himself with what he came to know as the green zone, which had been, until now, his own designated area. For the most part Jacob had declined to engage in much conversation. He found those people in the maintenance area to be, in his own terms, less than stimulating. Most of the individuals he had encountered in the green zone were males, although there were several females working amongst them. They all mingled together in the common rooms, yet conversation was drawn mostly to the projects they were engaged on. No one spoke of their past or of how they had arrived at Nous-City. Now that they were here, the details of their pilgrimage were no longer relevant. The future began in the present, and the past was only a device, a means, that was no longer needed.

  Dane-8 looked younger than Jacob, and had a professional appearance with his short hair and concentrated manner. The blue 3-sided triangle was etched into his otherwise similar white robe. By contrast, Jacob still with his long hair tied at the back, and an unwillingness to shave regularly, still kept the look of when he was a Seeker on the outside.

  ‘We no longer need to be Seekers,’ said Dane-8. They were sitting in one of the large common rooms in the Square Zone.

  ‘Once a Seeker, always a Seeker,’ replied Jacob mildly.

  ‘I don’t think you get it yet. You seem to insist on remaining within the earlier framework. Until you reveal yourself to us we are unable to work with you and show you more.’ Dane-8 leaned back in his chair and waited for Jacob to respond.

  ‘Reveal myself? I don’t understand what it is you mean.’ Jacob stared blankly across the table at Dane-8.

  Dane-8 lifted his hands and spread them out in a familiar gesture of “what can I do with you?”

  ‘What is it you want me to reveal?’ continued Jacob.

  ‘If you don’t know, then you don’t know. It’s not something that can be given to you. Each individual Seeker shares and acknowledges the revelation shortly after arrival here in Nous-City. Then we can all work together on preparation for the immanence.’

  ‘Ah, yes, the great project.’ Jacob nodded his head. ‘We must bring the spirit down upon the earth in order to immanentize the eschaton. We have no future that is not this great future also for the earth.’

  Dane-8 smiled back. ‘And so, where is your revelation, Jacob-9?’

  Jacob stared back at Dane-8. The guy was fishing for something from him. It seemed that he needed something from him; yet Jacob had no idea what it was. The conversation slipped into a period of silence.

  Finally, it was Dane-8 who spoke.

  ‘Have you not noticed anything odd about life here in Nous-City? I mean, here in the Square Zone?’

  Jacob thought for a brief moment. ‘No. I had no expectations before arriving so I imagined nothing. Life here is structured and ordered. It is a life of discipline and preparation.’

  Dane-8 shook his head. ‘No, I mean in normal terms. Doesn’t anything strike you as being somewhat odd?’

  This time it was Jacob’s term to lift his hands and spread them out.

  ‘Are you hungry?’ asked Dane-8.

  ‘No, not really,’ replied Jacob. ‘I rarely eat anyway.’

  ‘All of us rarely ate also, when we were on the outside. When was the last time you ate since arriving here?’

  Jacob cast his mind back since he first stepped through the door and submitted to the probe. ‘Actually,’ he said, ‘I don’t think I have eaten. I hadn’t thought of it until you mentioned it now.’

  Dane-8 smiled again. ‘That’s because we don’t eat here. There are no eating halls, no kitchens, and no food preparation. There is only preparation for the immanence. And yet no one gets hungry. Why is that?’

  Jacob had to admit it was something that had never occurred to him, until now. And yet he had no answer; and no hunger either.

  46

  Zuse-1 looked up at Kaine-3 after scanning the reports. He stroked his cheek slowly and with care.

  ‘And you are sure about this?’

  ‘Not 100% sure,’ replied Kaine-3. ‘It would be an impossibility to be 100% sure on this issue. There are too many complexities and uncertainties involved. Yet it is the closest we have come so far in finding traces of the anomaly.’

  ‘Then this is what we’ve been waiting for. Where is the subject now?’

  ‘Jacob-9 remains in the Square Zone where he recently completed his orientation. As we have yet to supply a certified report our administration has been unable to allocate his function. For now he spends his days in meditation and the occasional wander. He interacts seldom with the others and shows no particular need for establishing social relations. From his monitored behaviour it appears he remains unaware of the anomaly.’

  Zuse-1 rose from his desk and moved around the circular wall of the room. His figure was elder in stature and form. His facial features were of a man in his seventies, and yet like all those in Nous-City he was agile and healthy. His older years were merely a façade to a powerful calculating mind. Zuse-1 had been one of the first, and one of the chief architects of Nous-City. His position as Head Operator was without compromise or question. He waved his hand and a scene morphed into view along one portion of the wall. It was an aerial shot from above the city where the shimmering dome of solar panels could be seen in all their iridescent glory. Nothing moved in the external scene, and there was nothing to distinguish it from a still photo.

  Zuse-1 let out a low sigh. ‘I always enjoy this view. It is such a privilege to have this perspective. Our cameras monitor the exterior of the city constantly, and yet very few of us ever get to see this. Once inside, no one ever leaves. This place is a wonder, a marvel of ingenuity and evolution. We are like a jewel that shines forth from the dust of the earth; and into the dust shall we bring the light of the jewel. Kaine-3?’

  ‘Yes, Zuse-1?’

  ‘Have Jacob-9’s memories uploaded into DOC as per normal. We need to see how DOC responds.’

  ‘I shall see to it immediately.’

  ‘And have Jacob-9 brought to me. I would like to see this fellow myself. I must admit, he has me intrigued. Upload his admin files into my system.’

  ‘Already done.’

  Zuse-1 waved his hand and the exterior scene disappeared. ‘The world outside is a distraction to us. The real work is within. That is all.’

  Kaine-3 gave only the slightest of nods and left.

  ‘An anomaly…finally,’ whispered Zuse-1 under his breath. He remained standing still, staring at the blank wall. Inside, his mind was working swiftly, calculating the possibilities.

  47

  Dane-8 led Jacob-9 through the official zone gate and into the blue Triangle Zone. Dane-8 had received permission to show Jacob the technical zone where, it was speculated, he might finally be allocated. However, the official report had still not been released after several days, which was odd in itself. Usually all arrivals were allocated their designated function and zone upon the second day. Nous-City prided itself upon its efficiency, which, it was said, came directly from the DOC. They entered the Triangle Zone and walked down a large, brightly-lit circular corridor. Everything was still interior, with no windows onto the outside world. Since entering the city, Jacob had not had a view of the world outside. Everything was contained within, covered and connected. It reminded Jacob of living within some kind of body, with tubes as corridors connecting the various organs. Nous-City could be a large artificial body that everyone, like microbes, worked within; maintaining and preparing, as if this body required the immanence for its own arising.

  Dane-8 led Jacob off the corridor through a side door and into a laboratory.

  ‘We wish to show you some of the technical zone, as it may very well be your designated function area,’ said Dane-8.

  Jacob raised his eyebrows in surprise. ‘The technical area? But I don’t have a technical bone in my body.’<
br />
  ‘That’s where you are wrong, Jacob-9. According to the probe, it says that before the Great Turning you worked as a laboratory technical assistant.’

  Jacob stopped in his tracks. A large frown rose over his face. ‘What? Is this something you made up just to give me a position here? Is this your revelation?’

  ‘It is not, Jacob-9. As far as we know it’s the truth, and the probe has always collected correct data. After all, the data comes from you. We only have the information that you provide us to go on.’

  ‘Meaning?’

  ‘Meaning that the probe scans the mind of each arrival to learn of their past. Not only details of their pilgrimage but also of their life before the Great Turning. By learning of your attributes we are able to make the most of your contribution here in Nous-City.’

  ‘And who’s the royal “we”?’ asked Jacob.

  One side of Dane-8’s mouth curved upward into a semi-smile.

  ‘Well, that’s the DOC of course – the real doctor of Nous-City. Or rather, the real architect of this place.’

  ‘Everything goes to the DOC?’

  Dane-8 nodded.

  ‘And all decisions come from him, supposing it’s a he?’

  ‘That’s right – all final decisions come from DOC. And all other decisions come from Zuse-1 and the higher priests.’

  ‘Sounds like fun,’ added Jacob sarcastically.

  Dane-8 turned his head a little to the side.

  ‘That’s unusual,’ he muttered under his breath.

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Spontaneous sarcasm.’

  ‘I find pre-arranged sarcasm somewhat dry.’ Jacob smiled and walked away.

  Jacob moved around the laboratory, observing people in their work. Some of them looked up and smiled at him. There was a great deal of seriousness in Nous-City. Jacob could deal with that, as humour and play wasn’t particularly his preference either. But there was something else lacking for Jacob; something of greater significance.