But I did feel a little better after kissing Cynthia.
I released her, pulling back and staring into her sparkly azure eyes. She gave me a dazzling smile.
"I always knew we were meant to be, Jake." She murmured, leaning in close.
A small sound. I wasn't even sure if I really did hear it.
"Hold that thought," I told her.
I listened carefully again. Where were the sounds coming from?
I glanced at the end of the hallway, and saw a flash of brown hair. Who was that?
I ran off, trying to catch the person. I didn't want them to spread gossip about Cynthia and I. It would just add more to the drama. And plus, I really didn't want Maria to find out.
And so I jogged after them. The person pressed on, through the throng of students in the lunchroom.
"Hey!"
"Watch where you're going!"
The teens cried as I hurried past them rudely. The person jumped in the lunch line. There was no way I'd be able to find them in there. It was too crowded, too packed.
Frustrated, I searched the cafeteria, hoping I had misjudged where the person went. I saw no one running, no one looking suspicious. All looked normal.
Now they were going to spread news about Cynthia and I, and it would catch like wildfire. And it would have the same effects. It would destroy my chances with Maria, for sure.
There'd be no amount of apologies that would make Maria feel better. Or forgive me. And I didn't blame her.
But I had been so glum, so angry that I couldn't have her! She was the one for me! And I knew it, too! As in the one who I might marry. Start a family with. Go through life with. Get old with.
And now the person was gone.
I went home that day, feeling like my emotions were on a rampage. My blood was boiling and I couldn't think straight.
I sat on the couch and flipped on the TV, hoping it would take my mind away from things. And it did for a while.
Laura came into my view, blocking the TV.
"You're in my way." I told her.
She put her hands on her hips, not budging.
"You're an absolute jerk, you know that?" She yelled, her voice booming.
"What?"
"What did you do to her?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, not knowing what she was talking about.
"Maria was going to tell you that I approved of you two dating, but I caught her in the bathroom crying."
Why would Maria be crying?
Laura resumed. "She kept going on about your kisses, and how you hadn't really changed at all. And how you apparently had moved on from her."
No. I shook my head, wanting it to not be true.
Maria had found out about Cynthia and I.
The small noises...
The flash of brown hair...
The running person...
It must've been Maria.
Chapter 14: Moving On
Maria's POV
I went home that day, my face streamed with tears. I dropped my things at the front door and went into my room, hoping to calm myself down.
It didn't help.
I walked to my dresser, where there was a picture of Jake and I. We were in my back yard, his arm around my waist, fireflies lighting up the night. We were both smiling, clearly enjoying each other's company. I turned the frame face down, not wanting to see it.
All memories of him were going to be blocked from my mind. All remnants of him, erased. Thoughts, evaporated. Pictures, gone. He would simply be no more.
If someone asked me if I knew Jake Miller, I'd say, "Jake Miller? Who's that?"
For he would no longer be a part of my life, that was for sure.
He really hadn't changed at all. He used girls, just to get that rush. The feeling of power over females. And it sickened me that I had been easily played by him. The warnings were all there, I had just refused to acknowledge them.
So if he apologized, I sure as heck wouldn't forgive him. Not for all the money, peace, or love in the world.
Not for anything.
Jake's POV
I took a shaky breath.
I was probably wiped from Maria's life now. She had seen me in a time of desperation. Need. And in that time of weakness, I had resulted in hurting Maria in the process. She had seen me kiss my ex-girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend who was so shallow, I couldn't believe I had gone out with her in the first place.
Cynthia didn't deserve my love.
But Maria did. My good love. My I-love-you-with-all-my-heart, kinda love. Not that fake stuff where I dumped girls like yesterday's trash. No. The kind of love where I vowed to keep them safe, and content.
So I felt so bad sitting there, taking in the news, it felt like earlier remarks to Cynthia didn't even happen. I felt horrible. Awful. Disgusting. I felt sickened by my actions!
How could I have sunken to that low of a level?
What kind of person was I?
Obviously someone who liked to mess with people's hearts.
And so I would apologize, no matter how much good it did. If it ruined us even more, so be it. I just had to apologize so I knew that I tried.
And so I drove over to Maria's.
I knocked on her front door, her mother answering the door. She smiled at me kindly.
"I need to speak with Maria."
"Yes, she's in her room."
I nodded my thanks and ascended the stairs. Her room was right at the top, the first door. I stood before it, my heart thumping. My fist fell upon the door, earning a knocking sound.
No response.
I glanced at the floor, wondering if I should still enter. Would that make her hate me even more? I was the last person she wanted to see right now.
I swallowed my fears and pushed the barrier open.
She was standing by her dresser, weeping soundlessly.
"Maria," I whispered, still standing by the door.
She turned her head away icily.
"I'm sorry, Maria. You don't know how sorry I am. I'm sorry you saw Cynthia and me. I really didn't want you to find out. It was a time of weakness and desperation. I know you probably won't forgive me, but I had to try. I don't want to lose you Maria; I'm in love with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm sorry."
I looked at the back of her head, wondering what was going through her mind.
She spoke, but not what I thought she would've said: "Who do you think you are?"
"A monster," I answered honestly, "A monster."
She slowly walked to her window, her back to me. She opened the blinds, and peaked through.
"I don't forgive you."
Her voice was weak, broken. She looked and sounded torn up, defeated. As if she was tired of all this drama. And she had told me she wanted no more of this crap, and I promised it wouldn't be like that. But, my promise was broken. Like her heart.
I nodded my head, and slunk out of her room, missing the hopeful glance she gave me.
Maria's POV
A few days later
He was still on my mind.
No matter how hard I tried.
To get my mind off of him, I accepted a date from Wesley. I liked him, I really did, just not as much as I did Jake. Wesley was kind, and I enjoyed spending time with him.
"Hey," He greeted me from behind.
I turned around seeing Wesley before me. His green eyes were gorgeous, flecks of blue in them. He gave me an Earth-shattering smile.
"Hey," I greeted back.
"How are you?"
"Good, you?" I put my things away in my locker.
"Better, now that I can see your pretty face."
I beamed at his comment; Wesley gave me a shy grin.
"You're so sweet," I told him.
We weren't exactly dating, and I had made that clear to Wesley. I was just testing the waters. I didn't want to become attached to someone just to lose myself in the process.
"I try,"
We walked to t
he parking lot outside, Wesley's hand hesitating before grabbing mine. I laced my fingers in his, liking how it felt right. Secure.
So we strolled, our hands intertwined, outside. Some people smiled at me, seeing that I was blushing. I felt like I was on top of the world, nothing bringing me down.
I had moved on, and I felt proud of myself.
Jake's POV
Maria had moved on.
That point was clear as day.
She was holding hands with that basketball guy. What was his name? Wendall? William?
It didn't matter.
What did matter was what my heart did. It sunk. It sunk down to the pits of my stomach. I felt...envious. Like I wanted to be the one who was holding her precious hand.
He wasn't good enough for her. No matter what people said.
But she had forgotten about me. And quickly. She sure did bounce back fast. It had only been a few days. I hated seeing her with him. It made me feel guiltier about losing her.
I had such a great catch. Such a perfect lady. And I had lost my grip on her. I had caused her to lose trust from me, which was understandable, considering what I had put her through.
I still thought about our break up. Each and every day. It ran through my mind non-stop. A constant reminder of my mistakes. My God-awful mistakes. I had screwed up. Majorly.
But she still made me jealous. And boy did I miss Maria.
I missed her.
Chapter 15: The Plan
Jake's POV
I thought about Maria all day that Sunday.
How did our relationship get that complicated?
Right, drama.
First, it was when we were secretly crushing on each other. Maria had been afraid to admit her feelings for me because I was Laura's brother. And because I was a notorious player.
Then, we started hanging out, and eventually admitted our feelings to each other. That day was pure pleasure. I hadn't felt that ecstatic in a very long time.
And then we dated. Bonfires in her backyard. Listening to music in my room. I didn't care what we did. I just loved it because I was spending time with her.
After that, Maria saw Cynthia sitting in my lap. Which I still regret to this day. It wasn't entirely my fault. I was trying to get her off of me. Cynthia was trying to turn me on, which I wasn't at all. She made me feel turned off. I still can't believe I dated her, and had actually enjoyed hanging out with her. Cue gagging.
Next, Laura found out about us dating. And it had been when we were making out! I had never felt such a passionate kiss before, and then Laura barged in and ruined it.
And then Laura made us break up! 'Cause she was mad we didn't tell her! How could she have been that selfish? It was unreal! It had been a painful day, not being able to act like our normal selves around each other. Maria, thank goodness, finally got permission from Laura.
Maria then runs to me, literally, and finds me… with someone else. Kissing someone else! Making out with a certain ex-girlfriend. And her heart shattered.
Let me make something clear here, before you get angry with me. I was entirely desperate. It was a time in need, and want. I had figured that kissing a girl would take my mind off of things. And it did, for a while. But let me make another point:
I, in no way, enjoyed Cynthia's kiss.
She was a horrible kisser compared to Maria.
Maria's kisses were more of love. Whereas Cynthia's was just to say she kissed me. So she could spread all the gossip and rumors she wanted to.
So Maria saw me and I ran after the person I saw speed away. It turned out, it was Maria. And I felt so so so so bad. Guilty. Awful. Horrible. And I just felt down right dirty. I hadn't technically cheated on Maria, since at the time, we weren't going out, but still. I felt like I had lost all chances of getting back together with her. Which I did.
So now, here I am. Alone. Grim. No possible future with Maria at all.
She had found someone else, after all. Wesley.
Ugh. It made me sick the way he acted around her. Well, okay, maybe not.
He kinda seemed, maybe, just maybe, like a good guy. But I wouldn't admit it, because I wanted to be the one guy for Maria. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to hold her, tell her I love her, and her display the same affection back. But now I couldn't, because I knew I wasn't a possibility for her anymore.
And so I laid on my bed. I thought about ways to send her back to me.
I needed Maria, gosh darn it!
I needed her.
After a while, a slow grin spread across my face. And somewhere above me, a light bulb flicked on. Eureka!
Maria's POV
Shoot. Did I do the math homework last night? I asked myself, as I took my seat in Pre Calculus.
I fished my notebook out of my back pack, and breathed a sigh of relief, seeing that I had completed the assignment. Thank goodness. Since I was a little early, I grabbed my pencil and walked to the front of the room, where the sharpener was. Walking there, I couldn't miss the sight.
The sight which was Jake and Sarah.
They were holding hands, and practically on top of each other. They were gushing out love freely, as if it was free. They were both grinning like they were the happiest people in the world. Nothing to pull them down.
Sarah had a short black bob, with piercing green eyes. She was pretty, yes, with curves in all the right places.
Together, they walked to their seats; which was when I noticed Jake had apparently changed his seat to be with Sarah.
I didn't miss though, the flick of his eyes towards me. They were unreadable, which was unlike him. I could usually decipher them, even with his careful hiding. What was going on?
I had just made it to the sharpener, my back against the class, when I felt a familiar feeling. A prick at the back of my eyes threatened to turn into something more. I willed myself not to cry in front of the class.
Why would I cry, after all? I was dating Wesley now, and I liked him.
But was Jake dating Sarah now? Surely they were with the hand-holding and all. That was a little fast. Almost too fast. I figured he'd be slow at finding a different girl.
I shouldn't think too much of Sarah though. She was just another trophy for Jake to display.
Why did I feel jealous? I shouldn't want that piece of trash people call Jake. He was nothing short of a jerk. A reckless person who didn't learn their lesson.
The teacher called on me to return to my seat. I did, and then realized that I hadn't sharpened my pencil at all. And so I listened carefully in class, trying to remember everything. I stared straight ahead, trying to ignore the small giggles I heard behind me from the lovers. It was repulsive. But the teacher's voiced droned on, and I soon lost focus. My own thoughts surfaced. I vowed to go out with Wesley that night, as soon as possible.
Jake's POV
I think my plan worked like a dream.
Maria was in full view of Sarah and I in math class. I glanced at her, noticing the shock and pain written in her eyes. Inside, I smirked, satisfied with her reaction. Now she knew how I felt when I saw her with Wesley.
Sarah was a nice girl. She had pretty green eyes and a killer hair style. She had curves and wore clothing that highlighted her best features. I had asked her out that Monday, and she immediately agreed.
Of course I didn't miss the stares from the kids in the hallways. They only saw Jake Miller. The guy who bounced from one girl to the next. Some I think envied my girl abilities. Others were the girls I had dumped easily and stared at me with daggers.
I shrugged them off with a kiss to Sarah, and we went on our way. Sarah was hot and after eating lunch with her, I decided I might actually stick around with her. She could actually hold a conversation, so it was pleasant to talk with her.
I stuck a few salty fries in my mouth, enjoying the greasy food. Sarah sat across from me and leaned forward, a serious look on her face. She lowered her voice. "Jake, why did you really ask me out?"
I locked eyes with
hers. "What do you mean?" I took a swig of my soda.
The unspoken Rule Page 6