Between Heaven and Earth

by Michele Paige Holmes

  “Please, call me Janet.” Cassie’s mom picked up the broom and began sweeping up a lot more hair than Matt would have believed could come from his boys’ heads. He hadn’t realized just how long their hair had grown, but now that it was cut, and he saw how great they looked, he wouldn’t let it get out of control again. He knew where to get it cut now, and he liked Mrs. Jensen.

  “How about you, Noah? Do you want a haircut today?” she asked.

  Noah shook his head. “You just gave me one last week.”

  “That may be true,” Cassie called from inside the screened door to the kitchen, where she leaned over the sink, scrubbing Asher’s head. “But you’re getting your hair washed with this stuff just to be safe.”

  “Mo-om,” Noah groaned.

  “Don’t ‘Mom’ me,” she said. “I don’t want to take any chances. I’m going to use this shampoo myself tonight.”

  “Me, too,” Matt said as he threaded the lice comb through Austin’s hair in preparation for his turn with the shampoo.

  “Can Matt wash my hair then?” Noah asked Cassie. “He doesn’t have sharp fingernails like you.”

  “I’d be glad to wash your hair,” Matt said, feeling he was the one who should have been doing that chore all along. Cassie had insisted she preferred the washing over pulling the lice out of the boy’s hair with the comb, but Matt didn’t imagine her job could be a whole lot of fun either. None of this was fun, yet she and her mom had helped him without hesitation.

  He finished combing through Austin’s short hair and then, when Janet wasn’t looking, Matt pulled a fifty dollar bill from his wallet and slid it between the folds of the cape she’d had the boys wear during their haircuts. When he turned back toward the house, he caught Cassie watching through the kitchen window, her eyes on him, filled with appreciation.

  “Thank you,” she mouthed.

  Matt gave a slight nod and turned away, embarrassed to be caught, yet grateful to have scored a point or two with Cassie. It was apparent that her mom didn’t have a lot of money. Everything in her home felt like it was dated in the seventies or eighties. The house was clean but without many luxuries.

  Much like Cassie’s tiny, over-the-barn apartment, Matt realized. Maybe living frugally as she did wasn’t as difficult as it might have been, having grown up as she probably had, without a lot. It was one of the things he liked about Cassie. She was down-to-earth and unpretentious. He and Jenna used to be that way, too, until he’d made enough money that they’d decided to move to Portland’s prestigious Healy Heights neighborhood. Thinking back on the past several years now, Matt could see that was when he’d started to change.

  “I haven’t cut anyone’s hair except Noah’s and Cassie’s for quite a while.” Janet swept the last of it into a dustpan and carried it to the garbage. “I must say, this has all been rather exciting. You boys will have to visit me again for haircuts, but without the bugs next time.”

  “We’ll do that.” Matt ran a hand through his own hair, thinking he’d come visit her soon as well, but not today. He had a mess at home to deal with. Based on the instructions on the paper, he was going to be busy tonight.

  “Next,” Cassie called to Austin as she faced Asher toward Matt and gave him a nudge that direction. Matt sat on a stool and towel dried Asher’s hair. Then he took a clean comb and started at the top of Asher’s head, checking for any lingering wee beasties.

  A half hour later when the boys’ heads had all been treated and the towels were in the wash and the kitchen clean, Matt stood to thank Cassie’s mom again.

  “I really appreciate this, Janet. Thank you so much for your help.”

  She waved off his gratitude. “It was nothing. The real work is still ahead. Why don’t you leave the boys here to eat dinner and watch a movie while you and Cassie go tackle cleaning your apartment?”

  “Yes. Yes. Yes.” Asher jumped up and down, his new glasses askew. “Please, Dad,” he begged, as if he’d just been offered something much more exciting than dinner and a movie at his friend’s grandma’s house.

  “Can we, Dad, please?” Austin asked. Matt’s eyes narrowed with suspicion at the please he’d tacked on at the end. While that was a normal word in Asher’s vocabulary, Austin rarely used it. No doubt he’d pulled it out tonight intending manipulation.

  Matt shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, Janet, but I can’t do that to you or to Cassie.” Especially to Cassie. His gaze slid to hers, and he caught the surprised, questioning look she was sending her mother.

  “Why ever not?” Janet persisted. “You’ve fixed her car and made those awful stairs of hers safe again. It would seem she could help you with a little laundry.”

  If it had been just a little laundry they were talking about, Matt might have consented. He couldn’t deny that some time alone with Cassie, no matter how unglamorous the circumstances, appealed to him, but the thought of her seeing the apartment—

  “And I heard you installed a new disposal in her sink. Such a convenience,” Janet mused. Matt recognized the hefty dose of parental guilt laced within her words. He tried that approach frequently with his boys, but mostly they were too young to fall for it. Cassie, however, was not.

  “Great. It’s settled then.” She removed the apron she’d been wearing and draped it over the back of a kitchen chair. “I’ll just get my purse.”

  Matt exchanged an uneasy glance with Janet when Cassie left the room.

  “I don’t think—” he began.

  “Good.” She cut him off. “In a situation like this, I believe not overthinking things is for the best. Just enjoy the friendship. I know Cassie is. And you’ve both been through so much.” Janet’s smile was sincere as she turned and left the room.

  Matt was left to wonder if she was trying to encourage him toward a more serious relationship with her daughter. Perhaps it was simply that she wanted Noah to have a father figure present in his life. With Janet being a widow since before Noah was born, he didn’t even have a grandfather to pal around with in place of his dad.

  And my boys have both. But no mom, and now their grandmother was far away, too. Matt decided Janet was right. Why dwell on the unique and challenging circumstances he and Cassie faced? Instead, he planned to enjoy the time with her, or what he could of it, for the next few hours while he and Cassie did laundry and cleaned his messy apartment.

  Matt inserted the key in the lock but didn’t turn it. “Promise me that we’ll still be friends after you see this place.”

  “Of course.” Cassie clasped her hands in front of her, feeling not the least bit worried, and ready to tackle stripping bedding and vacuuming floors, though she was still dressed in her brown skirt and cream sweater from work.

  “Maybe we should go to your place so you can change first.” Matt’s hand dropped away from the door as he angled a look at her.

  Cassie placed a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes. “I work in an elementary school, Matt. Nothing at your apartment is going to do anything more to my clothing than some of the mishaps it’s endured at school. Did you know a kid threw up on me last year? He was so sick he mistook the principal’s office for the nurse’s and walked right in and projectile vomited all over the top of my desk and me, and that was only Monday morning.” She grimaced, remembering the incident all too clearly. Her blazer had never recovered. Matt’s apartment couldn’t even come close.

  She reached out to grasp the key, intending to turn it and unlock the door, but Matt acted a split second later, his hand covering hers.

  “Sorry.” Cassie slid her hand from beneath his but not before the impact of their brief contact made its way to her head; she felt dizzy, her stomach fluttering and heart beating rapidly. She felt her face heating, too, and silently berated herself for acting like a foolish schoolgirl.

  Am I thirteen or thirty-one?

  “I’m sorry, too.” Matt stared at her hand and his own, a foot apart now. She heard the meaning in his words. No apology for their accidental touch but regr
et for the feelings it aroused.

  In both of us? Cassie dared to meet his eyes, and glimpsed the yearning in them that surely shone in her own. Oh, Matt.

  “Friends touch each other sometimes,” he said, so quiet Cassie found herself leaning closer to hear him. “They shake hands or give hugs. And it’s all right. Sometimes a person just needs that, you know.”

  She did, but she was already playing with fire, being alone with him like this. In fact, she and her mom were going to have a long talk about that later tonight. What in the world was her mom thinking to suggest this?

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Cassie said, trying to keep the regret from her own voice. She looked at Matt’s strong arms. In the past month, she’d learned how capable his hands were, and at this moment, nothing in the world sounded better than to have those arms around her and his hands at her waist or pressing her close. She closed her eyes, shutting out the image and trying to shut down her desire.

  “Agreed,” Matt said after several seconds had passed, during which Cassie felt herself precariously close to losing the battle. She heard the key turn in the lock and opened her eyes just as light flooded the stoop when Matt flipped on a switch. She followed him inside to a large living room, made to feel small by the piles of toys and clothes scattered haphazardly around the perimeter.

  A big screen TV took up most of the main wall, and stacks of DVD’s and game cartridges toppled into one another on the floor in front of it. Controllers were strewn across the carpet, a coffee table, and the large sectional. Glasses and soda cans and rings from previous drinks littered the end tables, alongside wadded up socks, boys’ underwear and shorts, other articles of clothing, and stacks of paper.

  “Still friends?” Matt asked, hands in his front pockets, his mouth twisted with worry.

  “I don’t know,” Cassie said. “I haven’t seen the bedrooms yet.” She cracked a smile, then laughed out loud as his expression increased from worry to alarm.

  She reached out, placing a hand lightly on his sleeve. “I’m teasing.”

  He sagged with false relief then placed his hand over hers before she could pull away. “Come on.” He tugged at her fingers, then clasped his hand around hers and towed her farther into the apartment while Cassie wondered wildly what had just happened to the no touching agreement she thought they’d come to outside a moment or two earlier.

  “I’ll show you the bedroom.” Still holding her hand, he led her toward a hallway.

  Cassie fought the sudden and absurd urge to giggle.

  “What?” Matt looked back at her, catching her futile attempt to choke back laughter. “Feeling sorry for how pathetic I am, or are you laughing so you won’t cry?”

  “Neither.” Another giggle escaped. She chalked it up to nerves or misfiring neurons or whatever was happening inside of her because he was still holding her hand. “Do you realize what you just said and how that sounded— as you’re pulling me toward your bedroom, no less.” She attempted a severe expression. “I’m not that kind of woman.”

  He dropped her hand at once, leaving Cassie both relieved and disappointed.

  “I’m not that kind of man, Mrs. Webb.”

  She wondered if his use of Mrs. Webb was to remind him or her or both that she was married.

  Either way it seemed to work. A couple of awkward seconds passed, then he was walking ahead of her, apologizing for the piles of things they had to step over in the hall and the general condition of the place.

  “I’m not much of a housekeeper. Jenna would be horrified to see how we live now.”

  Cassie wondered that the thought wasn’t motivation enough for him to change. She was constantly weighing what Devon would think of what she said and did. It was enough to continue to shape her actions, from the place they lived to the fact that she still hadn’t become licensed and pursued a job in her field. It had taken a day or so of considering Matt’s suggestion that she do just that for her to realize the root of what was holding her back.

  And that realization had bothered her ever since.

  The difference, she supposed, between her and Matt was that his wife wouldn’t ever be coming home; she wasn’t going to see his messy apartment. Whereas Cassie expected Devon to return. Someday. Soon. And she wanted him to be happy with her when he did.

  With a little difficulty because of something on the floor, Matt pushed the door to the boys’ bedroom open. Cassie peeked inside and winced, really winced, as the enormity of the task ahead of them set in.

  “Matt, we’re supposed to wash everything— bedding, towels, clothes they’ve worn recently, stuffed animals they sleep with…”

  “Yeah. I know. Would you like me to take you back to your mom’s now that you’ve witnessed my shame?”

  She took in his forlorn expression and knew she couldn’t abandon him. So what if he was a slob? There were worse things. And what did she care? It wasn’t like they were getting married. She brushed the thought aside as quickly as it had come and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. “Where are your garbage bags? Let’s get started.”

  His relief was palpable, and Cassie soon found she didn’t mind the work because she knew it was helping him. Fixing her stairs and installing that disposal couldn’t have been fun, to say nothing of the new alternator he’d put in her car. What was a little laundry potentially laced with bugs? She owed him. As soon as the first bag was full, she had Matt direct her to the small laundry room— also a mess— and the washing machine. Cassie started a load, then returned to the trenches. Three large garbage bags lined the hall, and Matt was just stripping the sheets off the boys’ bunks.

  “What’s this?” Cassie caught a plastic baggie, midair, as it fell from the top bunk.

  “Teeth.” Matt shuddered. “Austin’s insisted on keeping every one he’s lost since Jenna died. He sleeps with them. I have no idea why.”

  “Maybe you should suggest that the tooth fairy might like them.” Cassie counted four teeth inside the plastic bag.

  “Tooth fairy?”

  Matt’s look of confusion was too real to be anything but genuine.

  “Oh, Matt. Really?” Poor Austin.

  “What?” he asked.

  “How can you not know about the tooth fairy? It’s a big deal for little kids.”

  His blank, clueless look continued.

  Cassie patiently explained the tradition, especially the part about bragging rights at school.

  “Now that you mention that, I do remember it from when I was a kid.” Matt’s look of confusion turned to one of distress. “So you mean all these months Austin has been keeping this under his pillow, hoping for some fairy to bring him something in return?”

  Cassie nodded. “Yep.”

  “Man, I suck at this parenting thing.” Matt shook his head, and it was all Cassie could do not to reach out and comfort him.

  “It’s okay,” she said instead. “We can fix this. I have some crisp, sparkly ones at my house, and I even have a couple of two dollar bills for molars. We’ll stop at my place on the way to pick up the boys, and you can stock up.”

  “But won’t Austin find it suspicious if four dollars suddenly appear in place of this baggie?”

  “Not necessarily,” Cassie said, a plan forming in her mind. “Not if they appear tomorrow morning, with a note from the tooth fairy about how she’s glad the boys finally have a clean room so she could safely enter and find the teeth.”

  “I like how you think.” Matt’s smile was back.

  “It does look a lot better in here.” Cassie noted the size of the room, the plush carpet, and quality furniture. Noah deserved a room this nice.

  “If only we could keep it this way,” Matt lamented.

  “You can,” Cassie said brightly. She opened the closet and noted the shelves and ample rod space. “I can help you get it organized, just not tonight.”

  For the next three hours, the washer and dryer ran non-stop, churning out more boys’ clothing than any two kids neede
d, their sheets and blankets, and even Asher’s favorite stuffed dog. Cassie vacuumed the carpets while Matt used the hose attachment to vacuum the walls and baseboards, window sills, and any other surface he could reach. They remade the boys’ beds, folded and put away clothing, and dusted the furniture.

  When they’d finally finished what they could in the living room, Cassie leaned wearily against the wall, there being nowhere to sit since the sofa slip covers were still in the washing machine, and the cushions stood at odd angles around the room where Matt had vacuumed them.

  “Almost done,” she said, noting that it was 9:40. She hoped her mom had made the boys go to bed. If not, tomorrow morning wasn’t going to be pleasant for any of them.

  “Almost?” Matt questioned. “We are done.” He tossed an uncovered cushion onto the couch and collapsed on it.

  Cassie shook her head. “Not unless you’re intending to sleep on that sofa. We’ve still got your room to do.”

  “I don’t have lice,” Matt said. “My stuff is fine.”

  “Do your boys ever climb in bed with you?” Cassie already knew the answer.

  Matt muttered something unintelligible under his breath, then leaned forward, head in his hands.

  She pushed off the wall. “Come on,” she urged, taking the lead this time. “Your room can’t be any worse than the rest of this place.” She marched briskly down the hall and opened the door at the end, revealing a suite larger than her entire apartment.

  “Oh my.” She stood in the doorway, staring at a room vastly different from the rest of the apartment. It was immaculate for one thing, from the made bed, including decorative throw pillows arranged on top, to the photos carefully arranged on the walls, dresser, and nightstand. The whole room had a sense of opulence, as if it wasn’t part of the apartment, but a grand house. She sensed Matt’s presence behind her and turned to him, an apology on her lips.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have barged in.”

  “It’s all right. I’ve seen your bedroom, remember?” A corner of his mouth lifted.