“Okay,” I said, as I set the stuff on the counter, walked back to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
“Sawyer,” she yelled.
“Grace,” I replied, in a mocking tone.
My ass knew better than to call her Gracie in that moment. The woman was about to snap already. That would have taken her over the edge for sure.
“What do I have to do to get rid of you?” she asked, as she slammed things into their places in the other room.
“Go for a ride with me,” I answered.
“You said you wanted to talk. Then you'd go away,” she said, as she grabbed more stuff from the table and walked back into the other room.
“That's not what I said,” I replied. “We haven't talked yet anyway.”
“Get to talking,” she yelled from the other room.
“I don't want to talk here,” I said.
She walked back into the room once she'd put everything away. Then her hands went to her hips, and she looked at me.
“Go for a ride with me,” I said. “That's where we'll talk. Then I'll bring you back, and you'll be free of me.”
“Why don't I believe you?” I heard her mumble.
“You ready?” I asked, as I stood up and looked down at her, totally letting go the fact that she was checking me out again. The woman was just as obvious as she had been in high school.
“I don't think I want to go for a ride with you,” she said.
“Is it the bike?” I asked. “Is it too big for you? Are you too good for it?”
“No,” she snapped.
“Then get your ass moving,” I said. “I promise to have you back in time to pick your son up. Then I'll ride out of here, and you can pretend we never crossed paths last night, if that's what you want.”
“I doubt that's possible,” she mumbled, as she walked back into the kitchen, before coming back with her phone and keys. “Does your sister know you're here?”
“No,” I answered.
“You're such a pain in the ass,” she said, as she headed for her front door. “Let's get this over with. I've got better things to do.”
I laughed, as I walked by her so she could lock her door. By the time she walked down the steps of the porch, I already had my helmet on and had gotten on the bike. She walked up and looked down at the helmet in my hand.
“You leave that on there in case you can con a woman into riding with you?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
I shoved the helmet down on her head, but I couldn't miss the nervous look on her face. When she didn't move to fix the strap, I reached back up and did it for her.
“You act like you've never been on a bike before,” I said.
“Only once,” she said, as she got on behind me. “It belonged to some asshole in high school.”
“Your husband didn't ride?” I asked, ignoring her shitty comment.
“No way,” she said.
“He wasn't cool like me?” I asked.
“He was nothing like you,” she said. “I made sure of it.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” I snapped, instantly feeling defensive.
“Either get this bike moving, or I'm out of here,” she said.
I started the bike but didn't move. She was barely touching my waist, and I wasn't about to have her stubborn ass getting hurt.
“You need to hold on,” I said.
“I'm good,” she replied. “I don't need anything.”
I grabbed her hands, pulled them in front of me, and held them there.
“You need your ass smacked, that's what you need,” I snapped. “Now stop being such a brat, and hold the fuck on.”
“Fine,” she snapped, as she pulled her hands away from mine and held them against my stomach. “Don't touch me.”
I wasn't sure why she'd said what she did, but I knew it was better not to touch her. The damn zap of whatever the fuck it was that shot up my arms every time I did was driving me crazy.
I turned slowly onto the street. Then I took off, and her hold on me tightened. Slowly, the space between my back and her front disappeared. After a few minutes, I could feel her against me. Not long after, her head was against me as well. Neither of us said a word, and I kept going. It felt so damn good having her there. I'd only been able to make that happen once before, and it was a day I'd never forget. She didn't know it, but I was taking her right back to that spot. I'd fucked up that day, well every day after it really, but I wasn't going to do it again.
When I pulled the bike to a stop, she lifted her head. Then I heard her gasp. She was off the bike faster than I could move to help her. With the way she stumbled, I couldn't believe her ass didn't hit the dirt. She ripped the helmet from her head and tossed it to the ground, standing there with her shoulders back as if she was ready for battle. I would have been worried if I didn't also see her fighting to hold in so much more than just anger when she spoke.
“What the fuck is this?” she snapped.
Chapter 10
Grace
It was bad enough I had to sit behind him, but he grabbed my hands, and I couldn't take it. I didn't want to think about him touching me. I rested my hands against his stomach to shut him up, and I couldn't believe how much bigger he was than before. I could see it, but I hadn't felt it. He took off, and the moment I felt the air breezing by us, I held on tighter. The feeling of his muscles through his shirt had me soaking up every second of the ride. It had been a long time since I'd had my arms wrapped around a man, and it was the first moment I actually missed it. Before long, I'd quit fighting and scooted up against him. It was the only other time I'd ever been on a bike, and I wanted to enjoy it. I was lost in the moment and in the feeling of being free to just feel for a few moments.
When the bike shut off, I opened my eyes and looked around. Then I realized where we were, and I lost it. I flew off the bike and barely steadied myself once I was on the ground. The helmet hit the dirt. I expected him to react, but he didn't. I pulled my shoulders back, trying to get my shit together. How could he bring me there? What was he doing? Did he even remember that we'd been in that same spot before? I'd been there so many times before I left and after I came back, he just didn't know it. I felt so many things, but I couldn't let him see it. Fighting back the tears stinging to break free, I stood as confidently as I could, barely keeping myself together.
“What the fuck is this,” I snapped out at him.
He took his helmet off, set it behind him, and got off the bike. When he took a step toward me, I shook my head and took one back. His eyes narrowed, and I felt that shit deep in my core. When he stepped forward again, I turned and walked toward the water. I could feel him behind me, but there was no way I was turning around.
“Why are we here?” I asked, the nervousness in my voice giving away that the toughness was gone.
“To talk,” he said.
“I get that,” I said. “Why here?”
“This is my place,” he said, as he turned and walked away.
“Was your place,” I snapped. “After you left, it became mine.”
“What about when you left?” he asked.
When I turned around to face him, he'd lost his jacket and was standing in the t-shirt I'd been holding onto before. There was a blanket tucked under his arm, and he was walking toward me.
“What's that?” I asked, totally forgetting what he'd just asked. “You haven't been back long, and you already keep a blanket with you in case you what, need a place to fuck or something. Is this your go to spot? You know what.”
“Enough,” he growled out, stopping the next word from coming out of me.
He walked up behind me, and I watched his arms move as he shook out the blanket. When he leaned forward to put it on the ground, I could see his tattoo peeking out again. The chain that was under his shirt slipped out and dangled in the air from his neck. On it were his military tags. When he stood up, he quickly tucked them back into his shirt. Then he turned to me.
“Before you get all bent out of shape again, I don't bring anyone here. I come alone,” he said in a calm tone. “Now sit your ass down so we can talk.”
I watched him nervously as he sat down.
“Grace,” he said sternly. Then the word came that I wasn't expecting. “Please.”
I walked closer and sat down on the edge of the blanket, staying as far away from him as I could get, while still doing as he'd asked.
“You've come here since you've gotten back?” I asked, after he didn't say anything right away.
“I have,” he said. “I sit here and look out at the water when I'm feeling stressed or anxious. I even do it in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.”
I nodded but didn't say anything.
“I came here a lot in high school,” he said.
“I know,” I replied. “I can only imagine how many girls you kissed in this very spot.”
I made sure not to look away from the water. If I did, I knew the tears would win their fight to break free.
“One,” he said.
Did he really just say one, I wondered? Was that true, or was he just telling me that so I didn't feel stupid? Had I been the only one he'd brought there, or had he totally forgotten about me?
“This was my place,” he said. “I didn't share it.”
“When you left, I came here all the time,” I said, as I thought about what he'd just said. “It became my place to get away from everything.”
He didn't say anything for a moment, and I didn't know what to say next, so I said the only thing I could think of.
“I've been coming here a lot since I came back,” I said. “Don't think it's your place. I've been back much longer than you have. I don't like to be bothered when I'm here. It's where I think.”
“What was he like?” he asked, totally breaking the role I was about to be on.
“What?” I asked. “Who?”
“Your husband,” he said. “What was so special about him?”
“He was different,” I said. “Why are you back?”
“I came back for my sister,” he said. “Her ex got married and moved away. I came to help her with Ava while I figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.”
“You left the service for her?” I asked. “I thought you were passionate about it. How is it being around Ava all day? I know you used to say you didn't want kids when you got married. What happened to that? Did you ever get married? Shit! Do you have a wife?”
“I left the service because I got injured while I was deployed. They didn't really give me a choice. No, I was not passionate about it. That wasn't why I stayed in. Being around Ava isn't so bad. She's pretty cool, and I feel bad not being there for her before now. No, I am not married.”
“Oh yeah,” I said with a laugh. “What happened there? Couldn't find a woman willing to put up with you.”
“Oh, I had no problem finding women,” he said. “I just never found anyone that even came close.”
When those words came out of his mouth, I got to my feet before he could even finish. I didn't need to know any more. Him finding women at all was more than I wanted to hear.
“Came close to you,” I snapped. “You were the only one you ever cared about. That and where you'd be on a Friday night. You never gave a shit about anyone else or their feelings.”
He was instantly on his feet and right there in front of me.
“You don't know shit about me or what I cared about,” he snapped.
“Maybe not,” I said, “but I definitely know what you didn't care about. Take me home. Then leave me the fuck alone.”
I turned and took one step away, but his big hand was right there grabbing me and spinning me back to face him.
“You were a freshman,” he snapped out. “I was a senior.”
“How embarrassing for you,” I snapped back.
“I was fucking eighteen, Grace,” he said, with more emotion on his face than I had ever seen before. “Your parents hated me. You know that. Your dad grounded you the second you got off my bike. He had such a look of disgust on his face. I'll never forget it.”
“So it was all about my dad?” I asked. “Bullshit!”
“You think he would have been just fine with his minor daughter dating a legal adult?” he asked. “If you do, then your nuts. His ass would have had me thrown in jail the first moment he could. He would have done anything to stop things before they even started. That wasn't a risk I could take.”
“So you cared. Is that what you're saying?” I asked.
He nodded his head, and I let out a laugh. Then I felt so much anger and hurt move through me.
“Fuck you!” I yelled, before I could stop myself.
I yanked hard on my arm to pull away from him, but he didn't let go.
“You left,” I yelled, as I looked up at him and a tear broke free from the side of my eye. “You fucking left. You could have stayed, but you didn't. You ignored me the whole year, and then you got as far away as you could without ever saying goodbye. You never gave a shit about me. Just admit it.”
“Oh yeah?” he snapped out.
“Yeah,” I snapped back, as I moved to pull away again.
His other hand came out of nowhere. He gripped my chin in it and brought my eyes up to meet his. When I tried to jerk away, he held me there.
“What about tenth grade?” he began, with sadness in his tone. “There was a senior looking over at your paper during a math test. He was cheating off of you. What happened?”
“We both got busted. The teacher said she was calling my parents,” I said.
“And?” he asked.
I never got in trouble, but I'd been so damn scared.
“She never called,” I said. “I worried about that for two days. My dad would have been so pissed.”
“What about eleventh grade?” he asked.
“What about it?” I asked.
“There was a little punk that kept bothering you,” he said. “What happened to him?”
“He quit,” I answered.
“Is that all?” he asked.
I had to think for a minute. That was a long time ago. The second it hit me, I tried to pull away again, but he held me there.
“He came in with a broken nose,” I whispered. “I don't get it. You were gone. You didn't do it.”
“I didn't,” he said. “That doesn't mean it wasn't a friend of mine.”
“That's bullshit and you know it,” I said. “You didn't care the entire last year you were home. You're just grasping at straws now.”
“How would I even know?” he asked.
“Your sister told you,” I said.
“Okay,” he said. “What about senior year?”
“Nothing happened senior year. I wanted to go to prom and couldn't even get a date. The whole year was boring.”
“You did get a date,” he said. “A guy named Steve asked you.”
“Yeah,” I said, remembering the embarrassment all too well. “Then he said he'd changed his mind. Did Julia leave that part out?”
“She didn't have to,” he said, and I could hear the humor in his tone.
My eyes widened.
“Wait a second,” I said, feeling so pissed at him. “Not only did you leave without a damn word. Are you telling me that you had someone watching me? Were you cock blocking me from the service?”
I saw the grin begin to cross his face, and I wanted to hit him. I wanted to punch him so damn hard.
“So, not only did you not want me,” I said, “but you made sure nobody else had me either.”
His grin was instantly gone, and something else had taken its place. He released his hold on me and turned toward the water.
“Until that fucker got a hold of you,” he whispered, so quietly I'd barely heard him.
I stepped around him and looked up at his face.
“What did you just say?” I asked, with all of my anger gone.
“You're right,” he said. �
�This was a bad idea. Let's go.”
He moved to turn, but I grabbed both of his arms in my hands and tried to hold him there.
“I don't think so,” I snapped at him. “You're not getting out of this. You wanted to go for a ride and talk. Here we are. Now get to fucking talking.”
He didn't pull away from me, so I grabbed the back of his head and brought his eyes that were plastered on the water down to meet mine. We were both quiet for what seemed like forever. I could feel my emotions coming to the surface more with each second I looked up at him. I could see him fighting with himself. He had things to say, but he wasn't sure about saying them. There was so much emotion in his eyes. Just when I thought he was about to give up, he opened his mouth, and I couldn't believe what I heard.
“Six months,” he said sternly, as he looked into my eyes.
His hand moved through his hair, but he didn't pull away from my hold. There was anger in his words, but there was also something else. There was hurt. I could hear it.
“You couldn't wait six more months, Grace?” he asked, but it wasn't really a question.
I saw his hand that had been in his hair ball into a fist as he brought it down to his side.
“What?” I asked, feeling totally confused.
“Him,” he said. “Noah's father. What did he have? What was so special about him? Why was it him you were with your first time?”
I felt anger fill me. Who the fuck did he think he was? He'd blown me off his whole last year at home, and then he left without a word. I'd never been so hurt in all my life. Why was I with someone? Was he really asking me that?
“Because he was the opposite of you,” I snapped out. “What was I saving myself for anyway? The one man I loved didn't love me back, and he never would. You hurt me, Sawyer. You will never know how much. I cut your sister off, but it didn't work.”
My eyes looked down to see that his hand had relaxed.
“I thought that if I gave in and fucked someone, I could get you out of my mind,” I said, and instantly felt his entire body tighten, including that same hand again.
“I was getting out in six months and couldn't wait to get back home. I was going to work my ass off. I had it all planned out. I was going to be a man worthy of the woman I wanted, and I was going to prove it to her uptight, asshole of a father. Then I got deployed, but it was okay, I had something to look forward to. I was going to come home and win over the woman I'd had a crush on since I was a young fucker, the one I'd fallen in love with my senior year. It was going to be perfect.”
A Forever Love Page 4