Wherever You Are

by Elle Wright

  El wondered what had happened to make her call Jess, especially when he’d told her he’d be back. He dialed Jess’s number, but didn’t push the call button. Maybe it was just as well. Four days spent with Avery, filled with desire for her, had prevented him from looking at their situation logically.

  The only thing on his mind was being with her. He was so enamored with her that he couldn’t think straight. Before he knew it, he found himself in The Friends Meditation Garden at the hospital. The haven was created to restore, to provide comfort to patients, visitors and staff. He’d spent a lot of time there over the years when he needed a break or to center himself. Sitting on a bench, he let out a deep breath. He’d been angry with Lawrence before, but never so angry he wanted to literally wring his neck. If he hadn’t been twenty years older, El would have been tempted to wipe the floor with his brother’s salt-and-pepper mane.

  “El?”

  His head snapped up, and he was surprised to see Drake and Love standing before him, brown paper bags in their hands. Love was wearing blue scrubs while Drake wore green scrubs with a white coat. They both looked tired, but happy.

  “Hey,” he said. “Working a double shift?”

  “Why do you ask?” Love asked, smoothing her hair back.

  “He’s trying to say we look rough, Love,” Drake said. “In his El way.”

  El smiled, but he was sure it didn’t reach his eyes. And Love would notice because she noticed things like that.

  “You’re not okay,” she said, taking the seat next to him. “What’s going on? I heard Avery was in town.”

  El looked up at Drake, who shrugged. “I couldn’t keep the secret from my wife, El. Damn.”

  “Whatever, Drake,” El said before addressing Love. “She is. But I don’t want to talk about her. How are you? I’m glad you came back and saved me from Drake.”

  Love laughed. “Was he getting on your nerves?”

  El smirked. “Every day.”

  “Eat all your food?” she asked.

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “Hey,” Drake said. “I’m standing right here.”

  “We know,” El and Love said simultaneously.

  Drake sat on the other side of El, effectively sandwiching him between the two of them. “We have news.”

  El glanced back and forth between Love and Drake. “You’re pregnant?”

  Love gave him a bright smile. “I am.”

  “That’s amazing,” El said, pulling them both into quick, yet strong, embraces. “I’m happy for you. When is the due date?”

  “Christmas Eve,” Love said. “Can you believe it?”

  El couldn’t believe it, but he was happy nonetheless. “Let’s hope the baby comes before the holiday. Wouldn’t want to shortchange him or her on gifts.”

  “I told Drake the same thing,” Love agreed. “I want my baby to be able to celebrate her birthday in peace.”

  “He will be able to celebrate on Christmas Eve. It will just be an extra-special day.”

  El chuckled. “You two are made for each other.”

  Drake reached over El to hold Love’s hand. “I can’t imagine my life without her.” And as if El wasn’t sitting there, Drake leaned over and pulled Love into a kiss.

  “Yeah, no. This is not happening.” Standing up, breaking the two of them apart, El turned toward his family. “I’m here for you both. Whatever you need.”

  “Why you are avoiding talking about Avery?” Love asked. “What’s going on with you?”

  El shrugged, thinking of her and wondering what she was doing. “Just dealing with life. I found out something Lawrence did and confronted him.”

  “I would have paid to see that,” Drake grumbled. “I just saw him with Myles a few minutes ago.”

  “Myles must have just met up with him, because I left Lawrence about a half an hour ago.”

  “What did Dr. Law do?” Love asked, taking a bite from her bagel.

  El decided he needed to tell someone what happened. He started from the beginning, telling them how things had gotten so damn complicated.

  “Wow,” she said when he finished his story. “That’s terrible. Poor Avery. That must have been hard.”

  “Damn, man,” Drake said. “That’s rough. No wonder she left. I’d want to be as far away from Dad as possible after that.”

  El really did understand why Avery had left him. It didn’t change the fact that he’d been hurt by her actions, though. It just enabled him to be able to forgive her and move forward.

  Yet there was a lingering thought in the back of his head they weren’t done talking about the things that went wrong in their relationship. Professionally, he would advise a patient like him to seek counseling, or at least discuss everything before he made a decision to continue a relationship that may be best extinguished.

  Of course, he hadn’t taken his own advice when he’d slept with her, not just once but multiple times. He couldn’t see past the ache in his body when she was near him.

  “How did Dad react when you confronted him?” Drake asked.

  “As you would expect, like he did nothing wrong. Or he didn’t care. Both reactions pretty much suck.”

  Love sighed. “I wish Avery would have talked to you about it before she left. But I understand why she didn’t.”

  El also wished Avery had told him earlier what Lawrence had said to her. That was the part that really bugged him. It felt like she hadn’t trusted him to be able to make up his own mind about her. She hadn’t trusted him to protect her against Lawrence.

  “Yeah, but think about it,” Drake said. “Put yourself in her shoes. She didn’t grow up around money. You said yourself, she was sheltered and doted on by Phil and Jan. I can understand why she let him get to her the way she did. There may have been a part of her that had always been insecure about the differences between you, and Dad’s words amplified it.”

  Sometimes Drake could be downright profound. “That’s what I think, too,” El said.

  “So what are you going to do?” Drake asked.

  El shrugged. “Hell if I know. She was supposed to wait for me at the clinic today, but when I got there she’d already left with Jess. I’m not sure what to think.”

  “Why waste time thinking about it?” Love suggested. “Just go talk to her and hear her reasons from her. Love you, El, but I always thought you should have done more when she left.”

  The truth was brittle. Love was right. He could have pushed her to give him a reason. If he’d done that, instead of retreating within himself, they might be already married with a kid by now.

  * * *

  “What are you going to do?” Jess asked Avery.

  Avery and Jess were seated on Avery’s parents’ porch on the hanging swing.

  El hadn’t called or texted. Avery couldn’t help but wonder if he would. It had been an hour since she’d left the hospital. She’d left a message with his assistant, letting him know where she’d be. Yet he hadn’t called to check on her.

  When she’d arrived back at her parents’ house that afternoon, they were elated that she was back and that she’d regained her vision. Avery was touched by the emotion her father had shown, because he was normally stoic and unemotional. But the way he’d broken down when she told him she could see him would stay with her forever. He wouldn’t stop hugging her and telling her he loved her. There hadn’t been a dry eye in the house and Avery couldn’t say she’d have had it any other way.

  “You have to make some important decisions, Avery,” Jess said. “You can’t go on like this where El is concerned.”

  Shrugging, Avery said, “That’s why I called you. I don’t know what to do. Every part of me is telling me I should fight for him. I’ve already told him I would fight for us. But after I overheard that conversation, I’m not sure I am the woman he needs in his life.” />
  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because I hurt him. I’m the one who broke his heart.” Avery recalled their big argument when El had told her she’d “gutted him” when she left.

  “You’re also the one that’s healing his heart, Avery. You can’t just give up because of something you heard, not even from him. Don’t you think you owe it to him to have a conversation with him?”

  Avery knew Jess was right, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was right, too. “You don’t understand.”

  “I do understand. You’re scared, and I understand fear. I deal with it every day, every single time I think I’m ready to date again. You’re going to have to get over it. If you want to be happy, you’re going to have to find a way to move past your mistakes, Avery. For the first time in months, you look rested. Healthy. As your friend, I’m ecstatic, and I know that has something to do with El. So I’m on his team. I want you two to make it work.”

  Jess made sense. Avery had pushed for them to have the hard conversation, and now she was letting his words coupled with the words of two strangers cloud her judgment.

  “What if it can’t work? While we were away I told him I wanted him to forgive me. I told him I’d work for it. After that, we were so caught up in the passion of it all that I didn’t realize that he’d never actually told me he forgave me, Jess.”

  “So? He’s with you. Doesn’t that mean he forgives you?”

  Avery wanted to believe that Jess was right, but the doubt had already crept in, and she needed to hear the words from him. “I don’t know. The only thing I know for sure is that he wants me. And I can feel that he loves me. That doesn’t mean he trusts me. It doesn’t mean that he’s forgiven me for hurting him.”

  Jess squeezed her hand. “El would have never been with you again if he didn’t trust you. He’s not even that type of person and you know it.”

  “It was so perfect up there, Jess. We were in our own little world, just me and him.” Avery didn’t want to believe it had been a waste of time. In fact, she knew it hadn’t. But now, in the light of day and away from the paradise they’d created, the complications and conversations they’d chosen not to deal with were rearing their ugly heads.

  “It can be that way here, too,” Jess told her.

  Avery looked at her best friend, her sister. She looked tired, worried. “Jess, have you been resting?”

  “How can I rest when I’m worried about you?”

  “Listen, I thank you for taking care of me when I needed you. I appreciate that you’ve stepped in for Luke and acted as my assistant.” While they were gone, Jess had secured a date and venue for the fund-raising gala next month, of her own volition and without prompting from Avery. She’d even hired an event planner who’d sent out special invitations to several key members of the community. “But...you’re fired.”

  Jess’s eyes widened. “What? Why?”

  “Because being my assistant is not your job. You already have one of those. You’re my best friend, and it means the world to me that you’ve helped me, but you have your own life. I can’t have you keeling over from the stress of mine.”

  “We help each other,” Jess said. “I want to be here for you, just like you’re there for me when I need you.”

  “Fine. You can be here for me as my best friend. And I want you to head my foundation.”

  Jess blinked, her hand rising to her mouth. “Avery, really?”

  “Yes. You’re the perfect person for the job. I know you love what you do for the university, but I’m willing to pay you a top salary if you’d work with me on this.” Avery hadn’t ironed out all the details, but she trusted Jess and knew her friend would put her all into the foundation because she was as vested in the mission as Avery was.

  “Wow, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes,” Avery prompted.

  “Yes! I’ll do it.”

  Avery hugged her friend, taking comfort in Jess’s embrace.

  Jess pulled back and grinned. “You do realize I’ve never been fired from a job before.”

  Shrugging, Avery said, “Well, technically, I wasn’t paying you so it doesn’t really count.”

  Jess barked out a laugh and handed Avery her planner. “Fine. You can have this back.”

  Opening her book, Avery scribbled a note in the margin. “We’ll talk more about the gala tomorrow morning and you can tell me all about this venue you booked.”

  They fell back into a comfortable silence as they rocked in the swing. When Avery noticed El’s car pull into the driveway, she sucked in a deep breath. “He’s here.”

  El walked up to the porch. “Hi,” he said, shoving his hands into his pants pockets.

  “Hey.” Jess stood. “I’m going to leave so you two can talk.”

  When she was gone, El joined Avery on the swing. “You left.”

  Swallowing, Avery nodded. “I had to think.”

  “About?”

  “Us. I overheard somebody named Lana talking about you, and it got me to thinking.”

  El frowned. “Lana? Where did you see her?”

  “She was standing outside my exam room, chatting away with someone named Hailey about you. And me. I mean, I couldn’t write this stuff if I tried.”

  “What did she say?”

  “Who is she?”

  El leaned back and folded his arms over his chest. “Love’s cousin. Love and Drake tried to hook me up with her a few times. She’s a nice person, but I wasn’t feeling her in that way. So it never went anywhere.”

  “Well, that’s pretty much what she said. She also mentioned that Love had told her how I’d left you in a bad way.”

  El nodded. “Well, that’s true. I already told you that.”

  “I know. But I need to know if you’re truly ready to move forward, if you forgive me. Because if you don’t, then there’s no sense in continuing this, whatever it is between us.”

  “Avie, we’ve already established that you hurt me. I know I’ve probably hurt you. Those things don’t just go away overnight. My intention is to move forward with you. But it’s going to take time. So much has happened. We have to take this one step at a time.”

  “That’s fair. I hope you understand why it’s so important to me to know that you forgive me.”

  “I do. But at the same time, you need to understand that forgiveness is an action. It has layers to it.”

  Avery nodded solemnly. “I get it. I just... I don’t know. I kind of feel like we have to get everything out in the open to move forward.”

  “Avery, you still have a lot of healing you need to do.”

  “But I feel fine. The only thing I’m uncertain about is...”

  “Me?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m sure of you. I’m sure that I love you. I’m sure that you love me. But loving someone and being able to truly put the past behind are two very different things. I don’t blame you if you can’t, but I need to know.”

  El tilted his head, eyeing Avery. “I will admit there is some apprehension on my part. We’ve been through a lot, Avie. But I’m clear on what I want. I want to try. I’m committed to trying with you.”

  Avery swallowed. “Okay.”

  “There’s still so much we have to discuss,” he continued. “You still live in Atlanta. And I live here. We have to figure out what that means for us.”

  “With the foundation being based here, I’ll be here more often.”

  “But you have a job that requires you to live in another state, Avie. I don’t expect you to give that up, because it’s a part of you. What I do expect you to do is to keep the lines of communication open. We can spend some time discussing the particulars.” He wrapped his arm around her and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I saw Lawrence today.”

  Avery tensed in his arms. “Really?”
/>
  “He mentioned receiving an invitation to the fund-raiser.”

  “Oh,” Avery said. “So he was one of the community members who received a hand-delivered invitation?” When he frowned down at her she explained, “Yeah, Jess is phenomenal. She’s already reserved a venue, and hired an event planner. They sent out a few invites. I offered her a job today.”

  “Wow. Jess has been a busy woman.”

  “She has, and I’m excited to work with her on this.” Avery kicked up her feet. “What did he say about the invitation?”

  “Don’t count on him attending.”

  Avery lowered her feet, setting them firmly on the cement porch. “I’m glad he’s not coming. I don’t want anyone there that will cause confusion or ruin the evening.”

  It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since they’d returned to Ann Arbor, and there was already tension between them. Avery didn’t like it one bit. “Will you be my date?” she asked, meeting his gaze.

  El smiled. “I will. On one condition.”

  Groaning, Avery asked, “You and your conditions. What is it?”

  “Come home with me tonight.”

  Avery peered over at him, let her gaze wander over his profile. He was so strong, so male, so sexy, so El. “Honestly, I’d strongly consider following you to Duck World if such a thing existed. Everything I have, all the awards, all the fame, all the money... None of that matters without you.”

  El chuckled before standing. Glancing down at her, he held out his hand. “Then let’s go. I promise I won’t take you to Duck World, or even to Disney World where the ducks roam free to attack.”

  Avery laughed, then slid her hand into his and let him take her to his home.

  Chapter 16

  Avery’s breath caught in her throat when she peered through the peephole and saw Thomas Brown on the other side. Oh, my God.

  It had been a few days since they’d returned to Ann Arbor, and Avery had kept true to her word to El and her doctors, and not worked on the show. Instead, she’d focused on the foundation and the upcoming gala, finalizing the details.