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A Serious Man

Page 6

by Joel Coen


  Splashing and children’s laughter slap off the surface of the lake.

  WOODS

  Above the lake. The beach noise has some distance and a faintly bizarre canyon echo. Very present, in contrast, is the rustle of breeze in trees. It is dark here with intense hot spots where the sun sifts through the leaf cover.

  We are close on Danny, who sits leaning back against a tree. After a very long beat he slowly exhales, a small amount of smoke feathering out with his breath.

  VOICE

  Gimme that fucker.

  Danny passes the joint to Ronnie Nudell, who sits opposite.

  PICNIC AREA

  Scattered on a woodless rise above the lake are several redwood picnic tables with, next to each, a firepit.

  Here in the sun Larry glistens with sweat, as does Mel Nudell, a man of Larry’s age who is bouncing a bag of charcoal briquettes to spill some into the firepit in the background. Larry sits at the table in the foreground with Mimi Nudell, who alone seems unaffected by the heat – or by anything else in the physical environment. Her pale, gravely composed Giacometti face is shaded by a large-brimmed hat.

  LARRY

  No. Almost a year and a half since Touche Ross let him go. He’s very good with numbers. I think his, his social skills have held him back.

  MIMI

  Such a sweet man though.

  LARRY

  Arthur has a good heart. And he never complains, unlike me. Sometimes I don’t give him enough credit.

  MIMI

  He tried to tell me about this thing he’s working on, this …

  LARRY

  The Mentaculus? He says it’s a, uh … a probability map. Of the universe. He asked if I could help him publish it. Um, it was a little hard for me to evaluate.

  A beat.

  MIMI

  Does he go out socially at all?

  LARRY

  He tries. He’s been going to the singles mixers at Hillel House. – Well, I should talk, I’m not doing any better.

  MIMI

  How is Judith?

  LARRY

  Fine. She’s fine. I’m the odd man out.

  Mimi smiles.

  MIMI

  Sometimes these things just aren’t meant to be. And it can take a while before you feel what was always there, for better or worse.

  LARRY

  I never felt it! It was a bolt from the blue! What does that mean?! Everything that I thought was one way turns out to be another!

  MIMI

  Then – it’s an opportunity to learn how things really are.

  Larry broods. Mimi softens.

  … I’m sorry – I don’t mean to sound glib. It’s not always easy, deciphering what God is trying to tell you. But it’s not something you have to figure out all by yourself. We’re Jews, we have that well of tradition to draw on, to help us understand. When we’re puzzled we have all the stories that have been handed down from people who had the same problems.

  LARRY

  I guess.

  MIMI

  Have you talked to Rabbi Nachtner?

  Silence.

  Arthur is climbing the hill from the lake, dripping wet. He projects:

  ARTHUR

  Boy! The air out here is magnificent!

  Mimi, looking at Larry, responds to his dark silence:

  MIMI

  Why not see him?

  LARRY

  What’s the rabbi gonna tell me?

  MIMI

  If I knew, I’d be the rabbi.

  He looks at her glumly. She laughs.

  … Life is beautiful, Larry. Nobody’s sick. Nobody died. You just need help remembering how to enjoy.

  Mel Nudell has finished spreading and lighting the coals. He now comes and sits next to Mimi, draping an arm over her shoulder. She strokes his hand.

  … Where are the kids?

  MEL

  Woods. Exploring.

  Uncle Arthur approaches, swim trunks plastered to his thighs, hair dripping, one hand pressing his towel to the back of his neck.

  ARTHUR

  If somebody could bottle this air they’d make a million bucks!

  A white title:

  THE FIRST RABBI

  SYNAGOGUE OFFICE ANTEROOM

  Larry sits waiting. A door opens and he rises.

  LARRY

  Oh – Rabbi Scott.

  Rabbi Scott Ginzler is the shockingly young junior rabbi.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Hello, Larry.

  LARRY

  I thought I was going to see Rabbi Nachtner.

  RABBI SCOTT

  He was called away on an etz monim: Ruth Brynn’s mother is in the hospital and she isn’t doing well. Rabbi Nachtner asked me to cover for him – come on in.

  RABBI SCOTT’S OFFICE

  A few minutes later. Larry sits tensely hunched.

  LARRY

  And she wants a Gett.

  A long silence. The hum of ventilation.

  At length:

  RABBI SCOTT

  A what?

  LARRY

  She wants a –

  RABBI SCOTT

  Oh, a Gett. Uh-huh, sure.

  LARRY

  I feel like the carpet’s been yanked out from under me. I don’t know which end is up. I’m not even sure how to react; I’m too confused.

  RABBI SCOTT

  What reasons did she give? For the rupture?

  LARRY

  She didn’t give – reasons. Just that, oh, you know, things haven’t been going well.

  RABBI SCOTT

  And is that true?

  LARRY

  I guess. I don’t know. She’s usually right about these things.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Mm-hm.

  LARRY

  I feel so … addled.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Yes, I can see.

  LARRY

  I was hoping that … Rabbi Nachtner …

  RABBI SCOTT

  That he would … yes?

  LARRY

  Well, with the benefit of his life experience … no offense –

  Rabbi Scott chuckles.

  RABBI SCOTT

  No, of course not. I am the junior rabbi. And it’s true, the point of view of somebody who’s older and perhaps had similar problems might be more valid. And you should see the senior rabbi as well, by all means. Or even Marshak if you can get in, he’s quite busy. But maybe – can I share something with you? Because I too have had the feeling of losing track of Hashem, which is the problem here. I too have forgotten how to see Him in the world. And when that happens you think, well, if I can’t see Him, He isn’t there any more, He’s gone. But that’s not the case. You just need to remember how to see Him. Am I right?

  He rises and goes to the window.

  … I mean, the parking lot here. Not much to see.

  It is a different angle on the same parking lot we saw from the Hebrew school window.

  … But if you imagine yourself a visitor, somebody who isn’t familiar with these … autos and such … somebody still with a capacity for wonder … Someone with a fresh … perspective. That’s what it is, Larry.

  LARRY

  Um …

  RABBI SCOTT

  Because with the right perspective you can see Hashem, you know, reaching into the world. He is in the world, not just in shul. It sounds to me like you’re looking at the world, looking at your wife, through tired eyes. It sounds like she’s become a sort of … thing … a problem … a thing …

  LARRY

  Well, she’s, she’s seeing Sy Ableman.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Oh.

  LARRY

  She’s, they’re planning … that’s why they want the Gett.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Oh. I’m sorry.

  LARRY

  It was his idea.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Well, they do need a Gett to remarry in the faith. But – this is life. For you too. You can’t cut yourself off from the mys
tical or you’ll be – you’ll remain – completely lost. You have to see these things as expressions of God’s will. You don’t have to like it, of course.

  LARRY

  The boss isn’t always right, but he’s always the boss.

  RABBI SCOTT

  Ha-ha-ha! That’s right, things aren’t so bad. Look at the parking lot, Larry.

  Rabbi Scott gazes out, marvelling.

  … Just look at that parking lot.

  EXTERIOR: GOPNIK HOUSE

  Our low angle looks across the lawn toward the front of the house. Pounding footsteps approach and feet enter just off the lens and the person – Danny – quickly recedes, cropping in as he races up to the house.

  A beat later pursuing feet enter, slowing, for Danny is already mounting the front stoop. Danny’s pursuer does not go deep enough to crop in but we might gather from the size-eleven sneakers and the cuffed jeans that it is hulking Mike Fagle.

  GOPNIK KITCHEN

  We hear the front door being flung open and slammed shut, and in the background foyer Danny appears, panting heavily. His mother and sister eat soup in the foreground. His sister has a towel wrapped turban-like around her head. One hand keeps the turban in place as she tilts her head down for the soup.

  DANNY

  We eating already?

  SARAH

  I’m going to The Hole.

  Danny sits at the place set across from his sister. He picks up his spoon.

  Some movement in Sarah’s body; Danny recoils from a kick.

  DANNY

  Ow! Cut it out!

  JUDITH

  What’s going on?

  The siblings slurp soup, neither answering.

  After a couple of slurps:

  DANNY

  … Isn’t Dad eating?

  JUDITH

  He’s at the Jolly Roger.

  DANNY

  Oh yeah.

  More slurping.

  Fade out.

  SIEGLESTEIN, SCHLUTZ

  In a small windowless conference room lined by shelves filled with law reference books, Larry rises to greet Don Milgram, entering.

  LARRY

  Don.

  DON

  How are you, Larry, Jesus, I am so sorry to be seeing you under these circumstances.

  LARRY

  Oh, well …

  DON

  I always thought you and Judy were rock solid. This is so terrible, Larry. This is devastating.

  LARRY

  Well, the way I look at it, it’s an opportunity for me to really sit down and figure things out, and, and, look at the world afresh instead of just, you know, settling for the routine, tired old way of looking at things.

  Don Milgram stares at him.

  DON

  … Really?

  LARRY

  (deflating)

  I don’t know. Maybe not.

  DON

  Well, legally, I have to warn you, it’s never easy for the husband. Unless, of course, there’s some question of the wife having violated the marriage contract.

  LARRY

  Oh no, nothing like that. She’s planning to marry Sy Ableman, but they –

  DON

  Sy Ableman!

  LARRY

  Yes, but they –

  DON

  Esther is barely cold!

  LARRY

  She passed three years ago.

  DON

  Well, okay, still – this changes the complexion, Larry! Sy Ableman!

  LARRY

  Not in the sense that … there hasn’t been hanky-panky. To my knowledge.

  DON

  Oh.

  LARRY

  No. I’m fairly certain this is not an issue. And in fact they, uh, Judith wants a Gett.

  Beat. Don stares blankly at Larry.

  Larry clears his throat.

  … A ritual divorce.

  DON

  Oh.

  LARRY

  So that they can remarry in the faith –

  DON

  Uh-huh, sure, not really a legal matter. Okay. Well. My goodness. How are the children taking it?

  LARRY

  Oh, they’re very …

  He gropes.

  … resilient.

  DON

  Good. Well. On the other thing, the neighbor’s property line, I’ve asked Solomon Schlutz to take a look. There’s very little having to do with real estate that’ll get by Sol.

  LARRY

  Okay. Good. How do you – I guess I’m a little worried, how do you, I have money pressures and –

  DON

  Our fee structure? We bill by the hour. Dave Sieglestein and Solomon Schlutz bill at a hundred and ten, the associ ates, me for instance, bill at –

  A secretary sticks her head in.

  SECRETARY

  A call for Mr. Gopnik. Danny. At home.

  LARRY

  Danny?!

  DON

  You can take it here.

  SECRETARY

  Oh-eight-oh-nine.

  Larry punches a button on a row of four on the conference-room telephone.

  LARRY

  Danny?!

  VOICE

  Dad?

  LARRY

  Are you all right? Are you all – is everything –

  VOICE

  F Troop is fuzzy.

  LARRY

  … What?

  VOICE

  F Troop is still fuzzy.

  Larry stares.

  DON

  Everything okay?

  DAWN AT THE JOLLY ROGER

  Wide on the motel room, weakly lit by sun starting to seep in around the curtain.

  Larry sleeps in one of the twin beds; Uncle Arthur snores in the other.

  Uncle Arthur’s breath trips and tangles on an impeded inhale and it wakes him, gagging. He blinks, sits up, swings his legs out, gazes blearily around the room.

  He rises stiffly and heads for the bathroom.

  Larry stirs and looks blearily around.

  He stiffly rises. He takes the two steps across the room to the formica desk on which are spread papers for his class. As we hear the sucking sound of the neck evacuator starting up in the bathroom, Larry sweeps papers together and mechanically stuffs his briefcase.

  CAR

  Larry drives hollow-eyed to work.

  After a long beat of staring, the ka-ching of a bicycle bell.

  Larry’s eyes widen and his head swivels, tracking as he overtakes and passes:

  The bicyclist. A young Asian man wearing a white traffic mask.

  Larry looks at him in the rear-view.

  LARRY

  Clive!

  He frantically pumps down his window, shouting:

  … Clive! You gonna send your mother next?! You little bastard! I wanna see you! I wanna –

  Crash.

  He has rear-ended a car stopped at a light.

  A blaring horn, a quick second crash of wrenching steel and spattering glass: he has been rear-ended in turn.

  The ka-ching of the bicycle. Clive Park cycles past.

  BLEGEN HALL

  Larry enters the outer office, hugging his paper-stuffed briefcase to his chest.

  The secretary crooks her phone into her shoulder.

  SECRETARY

  Oh – Professor Gopnik. It’s Dick Dutton again.

  LARRY

  (blank)

  Dick Dutton.

  LARRY’S OFFICE

  He sits in and picks up the phone.

  LARRY

  Hello?

  VOICE

  Hello, Mr. Gopnik, this is Dick Dutton from the Columbia Record Club. I’m calling because it is now, what, four months and we have yet to receive your first payment.

  LARRY

  I – there’s some mistake. I’m not a member of the Columbian Record Club.

  VOICE

  Sir, you are Laurence Gopnik of 1425 Flag Avenue South?

  LARRY

  No, I live at the Jolly Roger.

&nb
sp; VOICE

  Excuse me?

  LARRY

  No, I – well, yes, okay.

  VOICE

  Yes you are Laurence Gopnik?

  LARRY

  Okay.

  VOICE

  Okay means …

  LARRY

  Okay, yes, Laurence Gopnik, yes.

  VOICE

  Okay, well, you received your twelve introductory albums and you have been receiving the monthly main selection for four months now –

  LARRY

  “The monthly main selection”? Is that a record? I didn’t ask for any records.

  VOICE

  To receive the monthly main selection you do nothing. You –

  LARRY

  That’s right! I haven’t done anything!

  VOICE

  Yes, that’s why you receive the monthly main selection. The last –

  LARRY

  But I –

  VOICE

  The last one was Santana Abraxas. You –

  LARRY

  I didn’t ask for Santana Abraxas!

  VOICE

  You request the main selection at the retail price by doing nothing. It’s automatically mailed to you. Plus shipping and handling. You’re about to –

  LARRY

  I can’t afford a new record every month! I haven’t asked for –

  VOICE

  You’re about to get Cosmo’s Factory, sir. The June main selection. And you haven’t –

  LARRY

  Look, something is very wrong! I don’t want Santana Abraxas! I’ve just been in a terrible auto accident!

  Beat.

  VOICE

  I’m sorry, sir.

  LARRY

  Well – thank you. But I –

  VOICE

  Are you okay?

  LARRY

  Yes. Yes, no one was hurt.

  VOICE

  Okay. Good. Well, you had fourteen days to listen to Santana Abraxas and return it if you weren’t completely satisfied. You did nothing. And now you –

  LARRY

  I didn’t ask for Santana Abraxas! I didn’t listen to Santana Abraxas! I didn’t do anything!

 

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