by Lylah James
It was already the next day. Lena came with food, but I didn’t eat.
I stayed by Ayla’s side, holding her to me, caressing her and hoping she would wake up soon.
My men came and went. Viktor tried to get me to shower, but I refused. Lena said she would take care of Ayla while I rested, but I pushed everyone away.
I talked until my throat was completely dry and hurting. I thought that maybe she would hear my voice and wake up.
Maybe…maybe…so many maybes and I was still hoping.
Even when everything looked so hopeless, I still hoped.
Even when it felt as if I was breaking and being slowly cut from the inside, I still hoped.
Because as long as I had Ayla in my arms, I could hope.
I was her savior once. I would be her savior again.
My chest burned, and I rubbed a hand over my heart in frustration. Feeling, emotions, the heart—they were such a weakness.
I chuckled dryly and leaned my head against the headboard. It was too late now. There was no going back.
I now understood what Lyov and Isaak meant.
Mindlessly, I rubbed a hand over Ayla’s arm. Looking down at her sleeping form, I saw her slowly stirring. Her forehead creased, and her lips twitched.
I sat forward, my heart beating wildly. My hands started to shake, and sweat broke out on my forehead.
“Angel,” I whispered as she roused from her long hours of sleep.
She blinked her eyes open. Sleepily at first, and then finally she was fully awake.
We stared at each other. And just like the very first time my eyes had met hers, my heart stuttered and my stomach tightened in knots.
I could have flipped in joy and screamed from the top of my lungs.
But I only smiled.
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “My Ayla. My beautiful Angel.” I peppered her face with kisses.
When Ayla didn’t move, my eyebrows furrowed tensely, and I pulled back.
I quickly lost my smile.
Realization finally dawned that she still hadn’t responded to me. “Ayla?” I said, touching her cheek and running a finger along her dried lips.
There was no recognition in her green eyes.
I suddenly felt sick.
She still hadn’t uttered a word. No, she just stared.
I knew she wasn’t seeing me.
She just stared into space without saying anything. I wasn’t even sure if she understood what was happening.
I spent a few minutes trying to bring her back. But it was no use.
“Ayla,” I whispered. “It’s me. Alessio.”
Nothing.
And that was the moment my heart shattered.
She only stared blankly at me. Her face was completely devoid of emotion, her eyes lacking the light that had always been there. They were empty.
I was wrong.
I finally had Ayla in my arms; she was safe. She was with me—but she wasn’t here.
My Angel was gone.
In her place was an empty shell.
Chapter 5
I stared at Ayla, completely frozen. For so long, I wanted her eyes on me, but not like this.
Not empty and lifeless.
She wasn’t seeing me. As if I wasn’t even there.
I touched her cheek gently, hoping it would bring her attention to me. But instead she moved her eyes away. I watched her look around the room. Her attention stayed on the wall far longer than I liked.
Then her gaze moved around again, taking in every piece. Even though she looked intently around the room, I knew she wasn’t seeing anything.
She was lost in her mind.
Her eyes saw what was there, but her mind didn’t acknowledge it.
I feared this would be an outcome from her captivity.
I knew she would be hurt…maybe even beyond help…but I thought that at least she would recognize me.
Those beautiful green orbs moved back to mine. I remembered clearly the day I first saw those eyes. They were filled with fear back then. But slowly, I had watched them change to something else. There was wonder, amazement, happiness, and finally love.
But now all of that was gone. In its place was nothing…her eyes held nothing.
Looking in them, even I felt empty. I realized that I lived through Ayla. Her happiness had been mine. Her smile and laughter had brought me to life. The look in her eyes, the love in them had brought me compassion and love. They taught me to feel.
Now I was left feeling too much while she closed in herself.
Her gaze bored into mine.
Blue to green.
My heart stammered heavily in my chest as I watched for any change. Any trickle of life. When none of that happened, the realization settled around me like a heavy cloud. We had been thrown back into the pit of darkness.
I was just a stranger to my Angel.
I was suddenly afraid I would push too hard and maybe too fast.
Shaking my head in dread, I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I couldn’t give up. Not now. Not ever. I would fight until I had nothing left to give, until I had made sure she was fully back to me.
I forced myself to smile.
It was a strain, but I smiled—for her.
My finger softly trailed up her cheek, and I moved Ayla’s hair behind her ear. She didn’t move. Her gaze stayed fixated on mine.
If I didn’t know better, I would have said she looked mesmerized by my eyes. Like they were the only thing she could stare at.
I shifted around so our faces were mere inches apart. My lips touched the tip of her nose before I slightly leaned back. “I know you’ll probably not hear me. Or even if you do, you’ll not understand. But I want you to hear my voice. I want you to know that I am here.”
I moved my head to the side. “Angel,” I whispered in her ears. Placing a kiss on her head, I leaned back. “You are so beautiful; you know that?”
When she didn’t respond, I smiled and rubbed her cheeks. They used to be round, but she had lost weight. It wasn’t healthy for her or the baby.
At the thought of the baby, my eyes moved to her stomach. Taking a deep breath, I placed my hand on the bump.
Deep inside, I wanted to feel him or her again. The urge to feel the baby move, to connect with it in some way, was strong.
As soon as I placed my hand on Ayla’s stomach, the baby shifted around. I couldn’t help but smile. I felt strangely giddy at the thought of the baby moving at my touch.
I rubbed the bump. “You sure are a dancer,” I said to the bump when it moved again. “Or maybe a fighter?” A small laugh bubbled from my chest. It was playing target practice in there.
A hard kick pressed against my palm. “A fighter it is then.”
Another kick. Leaning down until my face was over the bump, I pressed my hand a little firmer. “You need to let Ay—your,” I paused, my throat suddenly closing up, “your mommy rest. She is tired.”
I waited for another kick. When it happened, I shook my head, my heart feeling a little fuller than before.
I looked up to see Ayla still staring at me. “Are you hungry?” I asked, sitting up. She didn’t answer, not that I was expecting her to.
“You need to eat.” I continued talking even when there was no response from her. “If I tell Lena to bring some food, will you eat?”
I was already reaching for my phone. Quickly calling Lena, I told her to bring a tray of food up for Ayla.
I faced Ayla again. “Lena made your favorite fried noodles. Remember how much you loved them?” I sat down beside her and caressed her hair. “You would fight anyone for the last plate.”
I talked and talked, telling her about Maddie and the things they would do together. I told Ayla how Lena adored her.
I waited for any sign of life in her green eyes, but there was none. She stayed silent. Just observing me.
When Lena finally brought the tray up, I helped Ayla sit.
She stared at the food and then looked up at
me again. I brought the fork to her lips, waiting for her to take a bite. But she didn’t. Lena coddled and urged her to eat, but Ayla stayed unmoving.
With my hands shaking, I brought the fork down and pushed the tray away. “She’s not going to eat.”
“But Alessio, she needs to eat. It’s not healthy,” Lena argued.
I felt Ayla shift beside me. She laid down and turned toward me. Ayla stared at me for one final time before closing her eyes.
Her breathing was evened out in a span of seconds, her body going limp as she fell asleep.
My Angel really was broken, her wings clipped cruelly.
“Alessio,” Lena whispered, her voice croaky with tears. I shook my head, keeping my eyes on my sleeping Angel.
Lena took the tray, and I heard her leave, the door closing behind her.
With my heart heavy, I moved closer to Ayla and held her to me.
When she sighed sleepily in my chest, my arms tightened around her waist. Her bump was pressed against my stomach, and I felt the baby shift one last time before it settled down too.
A few minutes later, both mother and baby were sound asleep.
But I stayed awake, my mind refusing to let the sleepiness take place. It was impossible to close my eyes. Every time the darkness surrounded me, all I saw was Ayla trapped in the dungeon. Pregnant, hurt, and alone.
So I held Ayla and watched over her as she slept.
For the first time in my life, I was clueless. And weak. I didn’t only fail Ayla, but I also failed the baby she was carrying.
It didn’t matter if it was mine or Alberto’s. The baby was innocent. It was part of Ayla. My hand moved to her round stomach again. Holding the bump in my hand, a sudden surge of possessiveness filled me.
Instead of pushing it away, I welcomed it. And with it, I let my anger fuel. Alberto wasn’t only going to pay for hurting Ayla. No, his pain would be twice as much now.
Ayla shifted in my arms, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock to see some time had passed since she fell asleep. Ayla sleepily blinked her eyes open, and they made contact with mine.
We stared at each other, both our gazes unflinching. After some time, I felt her slightly moving in my arms. Releasing my tight hold on her, I watched her sit up.
She looked around the room, her eyes focusing on the wall in the corner. Without sparing me another glance, Ayla got up, and I quickly sat up in shock. My eyes followed her like a hawk, looking for any reaction.
But even when she slowly moved toward the wall, her expression held nothing.
I followed behind her, my stomach in knots as I waited for her next movement. If only she would talk. I was left trying to figure Ayla out. And with her silence, it was difficult to think like her.
I paused in my steps when I saw her stopping in front of the wall.
Confused, I took a step forward but froze when Ayla knelt down and sat against the wall. She finally brought her lifeless eyes to mine. My heart may have stopped beating then.
Or maybe I stopped breathing?
I was suffocating as I watched Ayla lay down against the wall, curling into herself. When realization finally dawn to me, I closed my eyes tightly, trying to shut the image in front of me. My fist curled at my side, my jaw grinding.
My body shook with vengeance. And pain. So much pain. Seeing my Ayla like this was slowly breaking me. When it came to Ayla, she was my weakness, but I was fighting for her.
Strength and weakness. Both battling together.
Opening my eyes again, I stared at Ayla as she laid in the same position as I found her in the dungeon. For months, she stayed like this. This position had been her constant.
My fingers tightened in fists. Taking a deep breath, I took a step forward.
Now, I was going to be her constant.
Stopping in front of Ayla, I knelt down beside her. Palming her cheek, I caressed her. Her eyes closed with a sigh, and they didn’t open again.
I laid down beside her on the hard floor and pulled her into my arms. She laid half on top of me, and I held her.
“I’m not going to leave you, Angel. No matter how much you fight against me, I’m not going to leave. I’m not giving up. You might have forgotten me, but I will make you remember again. That’s my promise, Angel.”
Those words were mere whispers, but they were everything to me.
I placed a kiss on her forehead and closed my eyes.
That was how we fell asleep.
On the floor, against the wall but in each other’s arms.
Chapter 6
I woke up with a start. My heart drummed wildly, my body drenched with sweat. The nightmares still haunted me, even awake. I didn’t think they would ever go away. Those memories were etched in my mind.
But it wasn’t just the nightmare that had pulled me from my troubled sleep.
No, it had been because I was alone.
The bed was empty beside me.
I frantically looked around the room, but Ayla was nowhere to be found. She never left the room. Hell, if it wasn’t me carrying her, she never left the bed.
I was out of bed in a flash and went to look for her in the bathroom. Panic clawed its way into my body when I found that empty too. My chest felt heavy as I ran out of the room.
“Ayla?” I called out. My feet stopped in front of the piano room, and I glanced at the door. I didn’t want to hope, but my heart accelerated as I moved closer.
With my eyes closed, my hand shook as I opened the door. I blinked my eyes open to meet darkness.
My Angel wasn’t here.
Fear welled up inside of me, and I shook with dread. A swell of noise burst from my throat. “Ayla?” I screamed as I ran down the stairs.
My fingers dug into my scalp in frustration and alarm. Screaming on top of my lungs, I hoped that my voice reached her.
“AYLA!”
I saw Viktor and Nikolay running down the stairs. Lena and the maids came out of the kitchen. Some of my men came running through the doors, looks of panic on their faces.
“Alessio?” Viktor questioned, coming to stand beside me.
“Ayla is gone,” I said shakily.
His eyes widened. “What? How?”
“I don’t know!” Growling in frustration, I pinched the bridge of my nose and paced. “We were sleeping. She was with me. I don’t know how she got up without me knowing.”
I saw Nikolay nodding at the other men, and they all rushed around the house. The maids followed suit to look for Ayla.
“Did you check the piano room?” Lena asked.
“Yes,” I snapped. “That was the first place I checked.”
“Where would she go?” Viktor muttered.
That was what I was afraid of. Ayla wasn’t in her right mind. It had been a week since we rescued her, but she was still as lost as the first day.
The only change was that she started eating yesterday. That was only after days of trying. I finally got her to stop sleeping on the floor. They were small changes, but they meant nothing as long as she stayed lifeless.
I walked around the house, my throat dry, my body feeling heavy as I searched for Ayla. My muscles were locked tight as I paced the house.
“Ayla? Ayla!” I called out, running down the stairs again.
Viktor followed closely behind me. He swore in frustration. I held the back of my neck, my fingers pressing against the muscle to release the tension building there.
She was nowhere. Where would she go?
If she wasn’t in our room or the piano room then—
My eyes widened in shock, and I almost stumbled back. No.
“Alessio?” I heard Viktor call out to me.
I didn’t turn around. With only one destination in my mind, I ran out of the house.
Was it possible? Ayla’s memories stayed stubbornly locked away, no matter how much I tried to bring them back.
Ayla was refusing to feel. Like she’d rather stay numb.
I blindly ran, somet
imes slipping over the broken branches but quickly picking up the pace again. My wound was healing up, but running with such force was causing my leg to weaken under the pressure. A painful burning sensation traveled its way up my leg, and I stumbled forward.
I swore, holding onto the tree. My leg seized up, and I struggled to move forward. Fucking useless leg.
Pushing the pain at the back of my mind, I thought of Ayla.
With my wounded leg dragging heavily behind me, I limped forward.
When the trees started to clear up, turning into the beautiful field, my heart thumped a little wildly with hope.
I heard the rushing water, my eyes prickling as I remembered the times Ayla and I spent there. I hadn’t been there since she was taken away from me.
When the field finally came into view, I stopped and leaned against the tree. I fought to catch my breath as my gaze finally found Ayla. Her back was to me as she looked at the rushing water. She sat silently on the rock, her long black hair hanging loose on her back.
Walking forward, I stopped beside her. She stared straight ahead, completely ignoring my presence. I looked down at her face, hoping to see a smile or maybe even a little light in her eyes.
When I found none, my heart sank, and my stomach tightened in knots.
She only stared at the creek, her face devoid of emotion. Ayla wasn’t affected by the beauty in front of her, not like the first time she had been here.
I knew the creek was something buried deep in her mind. Could it be that she was slowly remembering? Or maybe she was looking for peace—like before.
The piano room and the creek were the places she absolutely loved, the places that brought her peace.
And now she was blindly reaching for it again. Without even realizing it.
I knelt down in front of Ayla, wincing as my muscles protested against the pain in my leg. She kept her eyes on the creek behind me.
I smiled, being accustomed to this reaction. She wasn’t ignoring me. She knew I was there. My Angel just didn’t want to let herself feel.
Even thought I had realized that, it didn’t stop the pain in my heart. It didn’t stop the heartbreak I felt every time she stared at me with those empty green eyes.
The pain worsened every day. The loneliness clawed at me, the agony too much to bear sometimes. But I kept going. For Ayla, I stayed strong. I lived for her.