Ghosts

by Tess McLennan

  After prayer, I lost myself in my thoughts, mostly about the concept of temptation, and how it only served to signify what you most desired… desire being just another basic human emotion that the TGHL seemed intent on wiping out. I was so deep into my own head, that I took a wrong turn on my way back to the women’s cabins. I somehow found myself in a part of the camp that I’d never seen before, and it seemed the further I walked, the more lost I became. I was grateful that work duty was over for the day, and that I wasn’t late for anything. Thoughts of capital punishment swam through my mind. I realised I could see the gardening shed where we picked up our tools for work duty across the paddock from where I stood, and I was baffled at how I ended up so far away from the main part of the camp. The TGHL compound was much more vast than it first appeared, and I was extremely distracted all day with thoughts of Aggie and the new baby, Wanda and the escape plan, and now Clem, who hadn’t shown her face since lunchtime. It was little surprise I was lost.

  I was trying to work out a time-savvy path back to the main part of the camp, when I realised how deserted this side of the compound was. Not a soul seemed to dwell in amongst these buildings, which looked all but abandoned. Some of the windows were boarded up, others were simply broken and had gone unrepaired. The remaining windows looked fragile, like even the slightest bit of stormy weather could have blown the glass straight out of the frames. I looked around to see if any guards were present, only to find I was completely alone. In amongst the desertion, I could see an old-fashioned chimneystack smoking, and realised that one of the buildings was still in operation. I kept the chimneystack in my sight, as I moved closer to the building. It looked like all the others, wood panelled like the cabins we slept in, however it appeared to have multiple storeys, as though the second storey had been attached by a crane, and didn’t quite fit with its lower counterpart. I thought I could see a light flickering behind one of the boarded up windows, and the front door to the building was chained shut, apparently to appear as though nobody was inside. I crept around the back of the building, and was confronted by a large, wooden fence blocking my path. I quickly spotted a small gap in between the slats, and crouching down to the ground, I pressed my eye up against the cool, damp wood, and stared through to the other side.

  The fence extended around a grassy area of land, which looked to be only a few square metres in size. The yard backed onto the rear of the building with the chimneystack, and had a set of steps that led to a screen door, with the mosquito netting hanging off the frame. It could have been anybody’s ordinary back yard, if not for the eight or nine human beings in blue jumpsuits wandering aimlessly around the square plot. They looked as though they were completely devoid of life, of reason, of anything that seemed to make them human. I realised with a start that this was more than likely the infamous place that Wanda called ‘The Pen’. The people in this plot were those that the TGHL had no further use for, whose adverse reaction to The Experiment Room left them with nothing but their bodies… their minds and souls erased and never to be retrieved. The TGHL had turned them into walking ghosts. And all for what? Believing in something different? Wanting to be free? Things that were intrinsically human, stripped away to nothing.

  A young blond girl pushed her face up against the grey picket, close to the gap in the fence where I crouched. She couldn’t have been much older than me, and I imagined she must have been quite striking in her days before the TGHL had taken hold of her. Her mouth hung open, as though she was severely disabled, and her eyes lacked any real focus, as she stared straight past me through the gap. Somehow, I felt as though she could still sense my presence, my growing fear at stumbling across such a horrifying sight. I suddenly remembered how Wanda had described people in The Pen. “Just imagine a computer where the monitor works, but the main hard drive is busted. Those are the people who go to The Pen... too far gone to be any use to anyone.”

  I suddenly felt the urge to get as far away from this part of the camp as possible, and leaping to my feet, I ran frantically back the way I came. It was only when I finally found my way back to the main part of camp, that I realised who the blond girl in The Pen had been. Emma Thomas, the girl whose face had once invaded my television screen on a daily basis. The girl who had gone out for a walk with her pet Rottweiler one day, and never returned.

  I made it back to the camp just in time for dinner, and as I entered the dining hall, I looked around, but still couldn’t spot Clem. I grabbed some food, and quickly found Henry and Cameron. Clem was still nowhere to be seen. I was so consumed by my food, and thoughts of Emma Thomas, that I barely even heard the call to Mass, and was jolted back to reality by the rushing bodies, all eager to get through the door and over to the Church. As I joined the lines, I wondered briefly why they always called Mass in the middle of dinner, where everyone always had to abandon their half-eaten plates and scurry off. I stretched my neck out in the crowd, looking for a glimpse of my sister’s dark curly hair, without success.

  As usual, Saxon paraded through the door, and Aggie reappeared at Mass, for the first time in days. Her head hung low as she walked and she looked as though the life had been entirely sucked out of her. I prayed for all our souls that the plan would work. I didn’t know how much longer we could last in this place.

  After Saxon recited the opening greeting, he took his seat at the front and began the usual Mass proceedings. I tuned out, bored to death with scripture by this stage, until Saxon leapt out of his chair, and stared right at me. I stood up straighter in the line, and looked at the front, trying to show I was alert and ready to worship.

  “Prayer is an essential part of our life here at the Temple of God’s Holy Light. Prayer is our connection to God.”

  I felt myself tuning out again, but Saxon’s gaze never left mine.

  “And when Prayer sessions are forgone by a congregation member… we must question their commitment, and their connection to our God, to our Holy Spirit, to the Temple.”

  He turned abruptly towards the oak doors, and with a clap of his hands, they flew open. I held back a gasp of horror as two TGHL soldiers dragged my Clementine out onto the floor. Thankfully, she was still clothed, unlike Chloe. But she looked as though the life had been beaten out of her.

  “Marco! Daniel!” Saxon called out, and two soldiers took their place at a battered old upright just behind the throne.

  “Dance, my little angel. Dance!”

  Clem looked as though she was going to be ill, as Marco and Daniel began to play a tune I recognised. It was Schubert’s Fantasie in F Minor for Four Hands… a solemn piece of music that Clem had used years and years ago for a ballet routine in Miller Creek. I wondered how the TGHL ever knew such a thing about her past, or whether it was just mere coincidence. I was surprised that she still remembered the routine after all this time, and although her jumpsuit made the dance moves look more difficult than normal, she pulled it off flawlessly.

  Saxon demanded that Clem dance the entire piece three times in front of the congregation, and I knew Clem was dying on the inside at being made to perform a perfect art like ballet in such an ugly environment. Then, halfway through the fourth time, Saxon suddenly rose from his chair, and Clem stopped dancing, turning to face him.

  “No, no. Keep dancing.” He waved his hand at her, and she shrugged her shoulders and continued. Saxon circled around her while she danced, and then reached behind his throne, pulling out a large wooden baseball bat.

  Clem’s eyes shone with fear, but she never stopped dancing, as Saxon approached her from the front, and raised the bat high in the air. He held the bat high, and then swung low… I gasped again, this time being heard by the guard who was positioned at the end of my line. Before I knew it, I was on the ground, winded, a wheezing sound escaping from my lungs. I lay there for a second, before slowly pulling myself to my feet, and breathing in and out, trying to ease the pain in my stomach.

  The sound of knee bones cracking was enough to make Aggie leap out of her chair.
The pianists stopped playing, and sniggered in the corner, pointing their fingers at Clem indiscreetly.

  “No!” Aggie yelled. “Stop this!”

  “Sit down!” Saxon roared at her. Clem had fallen to the ground, clutching her broken knee, crying softly in pain.

  “Miss out on prayer again, and that won’t be the only broken bone in your body,” Saxon spat at her, throwing the bat on the ground, and storming out through the oak doors. The bat rolled around on the stone floor, coming to a stop next to Clem’s bare feet.

  Clem lay on the Church floor even after the congregation had disappeared into the night. The kind doctor who helped deliver Aggie’s baby helped Clem to bandage and stabilize her knee.

  “I have no X-ray machine, so I can’t tell for sure if it’s broken…” He pushed his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose further. “Bed rest is best for you. Don’t put any weight on it just yet.”

  And with that, Henry, Cameron and I helped Clem back to the cabins.

  “My knee…” Clem whimpered the entire way. “How will I dance…” she repeated the same phrase over and over again, and it seemed to cause her more grief each time she said it. “I’m sorry, Immie… I fell asleep and missed prayer… I didn’t mean it, I didn’t mean it… I was just so tired.” She sobbed even harder.

  I quickly swapped our bunks around, and positioned her stuff on the bottom. “It’s okay Clem…” We helped her lay down on the bed. “Don’t worry about that…”

  The doctor gave us some painkillers, and bid us goodnight before leaving the cabin. The other girls in our room stared at us blankly, before leaving the room for evening supper. I was grateful when we were left alone. There was a knock at the door, and Henry opened it slowly. He threw himself at Aggie as she entered, and I realised this was the first time they’d seen each other since we arrived in the Temple. But Henry knew we had no time for pleasantries, as he broke free of their embrace, and grabbed Aggie’s hand, pulling her over to where we had all congregated around the bed. I doubted Henry even knew about the new baby, and I realised we were losing every speck of humanity we had within us. We were slowly becoming like those soulless ghosts I’d seen roaming around in The Pen, and we hadn’t even needed any special treatment for it.

  “Clementine… I’m so sorry…” Aggie looked distraught at the sight of Clem’s knee, bandaged and broken.

  “What should we do now?” I spoke up. “I sure as hell don’t want to stay here any longer after this…” I stroked Clem’s hair. I hated seeing her so miserable, in so much pain.

  Clem said nothing in response to Aggie, only moaning again about her knee and dancing.

  “We need to move the plan forward. Look, I know nothing about the moon cycle, but it has to be fairly soon, we can’t risk it,” Cameron said frankly.

  “And leave without Clem?” Henry answered angrily. “Are you crazy? She wouldn’t make it across that field…”

  “I’m not leaving without her,” I said quickly.

  Clem suddenly stopped sobbing and tugged at my jumpsuit sleeve.

  “Immie… if the plan works you can come back for me.”

  I reached out and wiped some tears that were hanging precariously on her cheekbones. “How? Drive through the front gates and ask them casually if we can pick you up en route in our escape?”

  She shook her head, and clutched her knee again. “Because of Plan B…” she whispered.

  “Remember that story about the snake’s head?” Aggie said quietly.

  “I do…” I turned to face her.

  “If you want to kill a snake…”

  “Cut off the head,” Clem finished the sentence. I smiled at the memory. Marella told us that story as children.

  “So, kill the snake Immie. Cut off the head. Plan A and B can work together. I’ll be okay here by myself for a while.”

  Clem knew well the art of gentle persuasion.

  “Let’s burn these bastards to the ground,” Aggie added.

  And with that, we decided the next afternoon, we would set our wheels in motion. I was more than happy to leave the TGHL behind me, in a smouldering pile of ash.

  The next afternoon came slowly, and I tried all morning to get Wanda alone, so I could tell her about the developments in our plan. She was missing from the morning’s duty, and if you counted Clem, we were down two people, leaving more work for us to do than usual days. I soon became so busy that I forgot about the terrible night before.

  Wanda reappeared after our prayer session in the late afternoon, and we still had a section of the campsite to clean up after a recent storm a few days earlier. Saxon ordered that the clean up be completed by the end of the day, so we were made to forgo our usual prayer time that fell between work duty and dinner. Apparently skipping prayer was only okay if you had permission first. I doubted God worked that way, but I was happy to forget about prayer for once, particularly that day.

  I gave Cameron and Henry the signal we discussed, and they nodded before going back to their bags of leaves and sticks. The sun was still high, but dusk was slowly setting in. Soon, the cover of night would shield us from all the prying eyes within the TGHL. I sidled up to Wanda, as we raked the ground free of tree bark, branches and leaves.

  I began to whisper quickly to her, telling her that the plan had changed, and that in the next few minutes, we were going to slip out to the shed where the gardening tools were kept, and then make our way slowly around the fenceline to the hole that Aggie had cut. We’d agreed that a slow and careful escape was better, as running across an open field was bound to attract unwanted attention.

  Wanda stopped raking all of a sudden and looked up. “I can’t do this.”

  I stared at her confused. “What?”

  “I can’t…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I can’t… what do I have on the outside?”

  “You can start again…” My voice had also dropped so low, I could barely even hear myself speak. The guards standing near the fence looked over at us, and I quickly resuming my raking. “You can start a new life…”

  “No…” she shook her head sadly. “No… this is where I need to be. The TGHL is my home.” Wanda suddenly became angry, gritting her teeth together so hard I heard them crunch. “And I’m not going to let you ruin my home.”

  I stared back at her for a moment, the anger swirling inside me.

  “You lied to me!” I spat at her. I couldn’t believe I’d been so blind, letting Wanda be included in our plan. Hadn’t we agreed to trust no one? I realised sadly that Wanda was in The Experiment Room that morning. They’d finally got to her.

  “Saxon knew there was a mole in the TGHL all along. Did you think that your strange arrival went unnoticed? Did you think he’d just let you march out of here with Aggie, and things would be back to normal?” Wanda grabbed the shovel with both hands. “You’re just as stupid as I thought. And you’re going to deserve all that’s coming to you. Just you wait!”

  My eyes stayed on the shovel in her hands, as I grabbed a pair of garden shears. Something had taken over my body – a new type of anger I never experienced before. I wanted to hurt somebody. I wanted to hurt her. And I would. I raised the shears high in the air, ready to strike.

  Suddenly, Wanda dropped the shovel and lunged at me. The shears fell from my hand, dangerously close to my foot. She pinned me down with a knee to my chest, her long nails digging into my cheeks. White-hot pain seared through my body, as tears began to form in my eyes. I kicked my legs wildly, as she laid blow after blow into my torso. I finally found my arms again, and punched her hard in the stomach. Wanda fell backwards, as I sprang up and landed on top of her. I scratched at Wanda’s face like an animal, the blood oozing out of her veins and onto my hands. Cameron and Henry, along with everyone else on yard duty stood around horrified as we brawled like children on the muddy ground. Finally, with strength I didn’t even know I had, I struck Wanda on the side of her temple and her head fell to the side, limply. I collapsed onto the ground on my back, panting
heavily, hoping I hadn’t killed her. I resisted the urge to check her pulse, when she began to murmur something at me, without opening her eyes. I edged closer, wary that she might be playing me, pretending to be out of it so she could land one more blow on me.

  “He’s coming. Run while you can.”

  19

  Let’s go.

  I pulled myself to my feet, and ran over to where Henry and Cameron stood, mouths hanging open. Wanda still lay unconscious on the ground, and I could see people were beginning to panic. They’d heard Wanda’s warning too, and were beginning to fear the consequences of Saxon’s wrath; what we’d done, and what it would mean for them. More forced starvation, another vow of silence, perhaps worse… A swarm of blue jumpsuits began to run in all directions, perhaps all of them thinking where they might hide, knowing they’d be found anyway.

  “We need to go. Now,” I croaked. And with that, we began to run. Perhaps the plan could still work without Wanda, I thought. I pictured Chloe in my mind, as we ran across the paddock towards the abandoned guard’s tower. We were exposed, out in the open, no trees nor grass to hide us away. In our panic, I forgot all about the plan to go around the fenceline. I half expected to be struck down at any moment by the soldiers as we fled, a rope to be flung around my neck, dragged back to face my fate in front of Saxon. I led Cameron and Henry to the hole in the fence that Aggie had cut for us, and we scrambled to the other side. The exposed wire caught on my jumpsuit and ripped the sleeve wide open as I jumped through.

  I realised Aggie probably chose this spot because of the surrounding trees and grass, as well as its distance from our car. There was enough bushland for us to be completely out of sight, but also enough for us to be lost and never found. The sun was going down fast, and I could see the moon beginning to appear in the sky. I hoped it wasn’t the full moon, and I prayed to whoever would listen that the chaos at the Temple would disrupt whatever plans Saxon had for Indigo on this night. We ran, and ran, until we couldn’t run anymore, and when we finally stopped, we held onto each other’s shoulders, breathing in and out heavily.