“California agrees with you," I hear him murmur as his eyes run over my breasts before settling on my face.
Sighing, knowing I should leave, I move to step around Eric but his hand snakes out quickly to grab mine.
I recoil slightly, my heart racing and I give my hand a tug, relieved when he releases me.
"Excuse me," I say abruptly as I once again try to step past him.
But this time he steps in my way as he murmurs, “I'm a little enamored by you, Emma, and have been waiting for Lucas to look the other way so I could talk to you...alone."
Startled, this time by his admission, I hold his gaze as I state firmly, "I'm with Lucas."
He smiles as he asks quietly, "And what about if you weren't? Lucas doesn’t stay with one person for long. I’ll be here when this is all over between you."
“Emma,” I hear Lucas say. The vehemence is clear in his voice.
Relief quickly spreads through me as Eric allows me to step past him.
Chapter 12
Lucas
Anger is flooding through me, surrounding me, as I hear Eric hitting on Emma.
Stepping behind him, I see Emma's face flood with relief as I say her name, breaking up this tête-à-tête that Eric had obviously and cunningly planned. He had very obviously introduced me to a guest, named Marie, that prior to Emma I would have considered spending the night with. Marie had immediately latched onto to me, murmuring that she knew I was here with another woman and that she was with an older man. When she had offered for us to meet again in a few minutes in the gazebo, I knew then that Eric had told Marie that I was a player looking for the same thing she was.
Gently trying to let her know that I had only eyes for Emma, I had missed Eric slipping away.
But I had known immediately where he had gone.
As Emma now steps around him, I hold my hand out to her, relieved when she takes it and moves to stand by my side. My other hand is opening and closing, wishing I could wrap it around Eric's neck. I had known Eric had always been a player, women just a game to him, but I had never thought he would stoop so low as to try to steal Emma.
"We'll be leaving in the morning," I ground out.
He laughs as he nods his head, a smirk evident on his face as we turn from him.
When we reach our room, my anger has reached the boiling point and it explodes on Emma.
"What the fuck were you doing with him?" I ask, as I swing her around before grasping both of her arms, shaking her.
She gasps as her eyes come up to my face, "Lucas, you’re hurting me."
I immediately slacken my grasp, not wanting to ever hurt her, but god this searing pain in my chest is killing me. Hearing about how she had always wanted to live in LA to start a restaurant and now this incident with Eric has me pushing her up against the wall, to stare into her eyes. This woman has the ability to break me and it scares the hell out of me.
Make me reel, out of control.
"I should have let you answer his question," I whisper. "What would it have been, Emma? Would you be with him, live here, if I wasn’t in the way?"
Shocked, she looks up at me about to answer but I don't let her speak a word.
Releasing both of her arms, my hands come up to grasp each side of her face, holding her in place as I harshly kiss her lips. Trailing my mouth to her neck, to her ear, I ask with poison in my voice, "Do you wish it was him here instead of me?"
"Lucas," she says trying to push me away.
I don't let her. Instead, I grab both of her hands and pin them to the wall over her head as I bring my lips back to hers. She turns her head but I place both her hands in one of mine, still pinning her as my now freed hand comes up to grasp her chin, holding her in place, forcing my lips on hers. I feel when she has given in and opens her mouth to me. Thrusting my tongue inside of her, I taste her, always wanting more of her. I know that deep down I’m reacting this way because I’m terrified of Emma’s dreams.
That this new revelation is driving me crazy because I don’t ever want to lose her.
Moving my mouth back to her ear, I whisper, "I'm going to fuck you now and you are going to keep your eyes open so that you know it's me."
I hear her gasp and I watch as her eyes widen.
But I don’t care. I have to remind her, in the only way that I know how, that what we have is real.
Perhaps needing to tangibly mark her as mine somehow in the process.
I release her chin to reach down to hastily tug my zipper down, my cock popping free as it throbs and aches to feel Emma surrounding me again.
Only Emma has ever made me feel this way and all I can think about is fulfilling this need to remind her of how I know I can make her feel.
Reaching up underneath her dress, and pushing her underwear to the side. I roughly finger her, watching her bite her lip, driving me mad.
"Wrap your legs around me," I say and grasp one of her legs to wrap around my waist. Anger and this pulsating need to make her realize that she is mine – only mine - still raging out of control through me.
I feel her lift her other leg, wrapping it tight around my waist, and satisfaction slides through me. Not wasting another moment, I hold her eyes as I plough into her. She screams my name, her eyes sliding closed in pleasure and it further drives me on. I never want anyone else to ever make her scream their name.
“Open your eyes, Emma,” I say as I stop my movements, feeling – just feeling – how she surrounds my cock so perfectly.
So god damn tightly that I can’t think past anyone but her.
I hear her sigh, watch as those beautiful lips part to expel the only air I want to breathe as her head falls back against the wall. Slowly, she slides her eyes open to hold mine.
And I can see that she wants this as much as me.
Pulling back, I drive myself repeatedly back and up into her, still holding her hands above her head, staring into her eyes, willing her to forget about him.
Willing her to forget about everything...
To stay with me.
She says my name again and I lose control, releasing myself into her. My eruption is so strong and so long, that I barely register her release. My head drops to her shoulder, both of us breathing heavily as reality returns.
And with reality comes remorse. I had let my jealousy take over along with my deeply seated fear of her leaving me to chase her dreams.
As I slide from Emma's body, I slowly allow my hands to release hers before stepping back from her.
Turning from her, completely spent physically – mentally - I head to the washroom, removing my clothes along the way. Turning on the shower, I step quickly under the hot water.
I had completely lost control, - I silently acknowledge.
Leaning my forehead against the wall underneath the spout, I try to reign in my jealousy...my fear.
I feel Emma's arms slide around me from behind, laying her head between my shoulder blades, and my body immediately absorbs the feeling of hers.
It’s like her body is a drug that mine is unwaveringly addicted to.
Turning around, I look into her eyes as I whisper, "I'm so sorry."
She smiles at me gently before leaning up to place a kiss on my lips, silencing me. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her closer for a deeper kiss.
She has the lips of an angel.
Stepping out of my arms, she takes the soap and gently washes my body, her hands soothing me as they slide over my slippery skin. Her ministrations work and I’m putty in her hands as she shuts off the shower before passing me a towel. We quickly dry off and then she is taking me by my hand to lead me to the bed. I pull back the covers and slide underneath, patting the spot next to me for Emma to join me. As she lays her head on my chest, running her fingers in little soothing circles over my heart, I close my eyes and just concentrate on breathing through this ache in my chest.
Only somewhat soothed, I wake many times throughout the night, reaching for Emma, pulling her back to me
if she moved off my chest throughout the night.
It’s like I know somehow that things will never be the same. I had discovered things about Emma since I brought her here that I never knew.
And it has changed what was between us.
The next morning, I wait anxiously for Emma to wake. As she opens her eyes, I immediately reach for my phone on the night stand to change our flight. Emma stops me as she reaches out to take my phone.
"Lucas, I have no interest in Eric," she says quietly but firmly as she holds my gaze. "I would really like to stay, to explore more of California."
I stiffen, reach out again for my phone but the look on Emma's face stops me as she says softly, "You have to trust me, Lucas. You can't sweep me away every time you are jealous."
But it’s more than jealousy eating away at me. It’s her plea to stay to explore more of California. Now that I know this is where she had ultimately planned to live, I wanted to get her away from it.
But I also know I can’t say no to her request.
"He's an idiot," I spit out, my anger from last night returning along with my despair.
Those were dreams she had before she met me. They could have changed, - I silently convince myself. Willfully, I push away any doubts about Emma and what she really wants. Circumstances – people – change all the time.
Emma only smiles as she nods in agreement. Then she is sliding up against me, kissing me.
Emma’s breath whispers over my lips as she murmurs, "I agree. But Eric isn't here right now and he never will be."
She seduces the anger from me as she swings her leg up over me, positioning herself so that she can slide herself down onto me. I watch, losing myself in her, as she lifts and lowers making me forget about Eric for the moment.
After we shower together, we decide to arrange for a rental car to explore other wineries in the area. Despite wanting to leave, Emma convinces me to return to stay at Eric's B&B every evening after we have had dinner elsewhere, thus avoiding Eric the rest of our stay.
I can’t help but feel relief as we touch back down in Toronto. Eric and I had been acquaintances that kept in touch because of our mutual interest in the wine business but that would be over now. We were never close friends, more like someone to get together with to live up the night scene in either LA or Toronto. We’ve had some wild nights going from bar to bar, which always included picking up women for the night.
But none of the women had mattered, not like Emma.
He had crossed the line with Emma.
She mattered. A whole hell of a lot and I was glad to be back on my own turf.
Glancing at her sitting next to me in the car on the way home, I grasp her hand and bring it up to my lips to press a kiss to the back.
I’m in love with her, - I silently acknowledge.
The thought silently terrifies me.
Emma glances over at me and squeezes my hand and my heart twists. A smile spreads across her face and I pray that she feels the same for me.
That I’m now a part of her dreams.
Quinny, who had been staying with my parents, is ecstatic when we pick her up. I watch as she licks Emma's face excitedly when she stoops to pick her up. We have a quick coffee with my parents to catch up before continuing home.
Home...
Pulling into the driveway, I glance up at the house I had built and realize I never really considered it home until Emma was here with me.
I want her to always be in it, with me. Building a life here.
Feeling my heart flutter, I glance over at Emma, who is busy dealing with a squirming Quinny that’s on her lap, watching how she laughs at Quinny’s excitement to be home as well. My gaze rakes over her face, over her perfectly formed body and I know she is it for me. All that I will ever want.
She is my home.
She is what causes the blood to pump through my veins with purpose.
I’m going to ask Emma to stay here. To marry me, - I realize with slight shock, my heart beating thickly.
Emma glances up at me, her smile sliding away when she sees the intensity in my face.
"Lucas?" she asks worriedly.
Smiling, wanting to ease her fears, I reply softly as I reach my hand out to rub my thumb over her bottom lip, "This trip has not been all bad. It has made me realize something so very, very important."
Leaning over, I gently brush her lips with mine.
That's it. That's all I say, that’s all I do. When the time – the right time – comes for me to ask Emma to marry me, I want it to be perfect.
"And you’re not going to tell me what it is?" The smile is back on her face as she reaches out her hand to stroke my cheek.
Shaking my head, I grasp her hand to place a kiss on the back before replying teasingly, "I will...eventually." Another quick kiss to the back of her hand and then I hop out of the car before I end up revealing more than I want to right now.
This isn’t the right time and I want time to plan my proposal perfectly.
Rounding the car, I open Emma's door and place a swift kiss on her lips again before getting our luggage from the trunk.
Over the next couple of months, I put my plans in place and decide that April will be the perfect month. It’ll be warm enough to hire a boat to take us up the river to Niagara Falls. There, underneath one of the world’s seven natural wonders, I’ll ask Emma to marry me.
As time slips by, I’m sometimes internally conflicted about how Emma will respond. She has never brought up LA again and I’m not sure if that is a good sign or bad. Several times I open my mouth to ask her but I’m too terrified of the response to put it into words.
So instead I remain silent, worrying.
Sometimes confident that Emma will accept, other times terrified that she won't.
Finally, April 27 arrives and as I drive home with Emma from work on a Friday evening with the ring threatening to burn a hole in my pocket, I detect that her mood has changed from earlier this afternoon.
She seems a little withdrawn.
I reach over and grasp her hand, squeezing it reassuringly but she only gives me a wane smile, her eyes avoiding mine. I panic a little as I wonder if she has discovered my plans, that she wants to say no but doesn’t know how to tell me.
“Everything okay?” I ask, my heart beating loudly in my ears.
She sighs heavily and turns to look out the window at the passing scenery.
A few moments later, she replies softly, “I have something to tell you but I think it should wait until we get home.”
I feel bile rise in my throat as my stomach flips, then flops.
She knows and she doesn’t want to marry me, - my head begins it silent screaming.
I open my mouth to tell her to just tell me but nothing comes out.
A few minutes later, I pull into the driveway, my hand shaking as I put the car in park. Emma doesn’t wait for me as she opens her door and slides out.
Glancing at my shaking hands, swallowing back the bile, I close my eyes as I whisper, “Please God...don’t let her leave me.”
As if in slow motion – like there is an unreality to what is about to happen, I exit the car and follow Emma into the house. As the door swings shut behind us at our home, I brace myself as she ignores Quinny, and instead turns to face me.
"Lucas..." she says sighing.
My heart tears.
"Emma, we don't have to do this," I blurt out quickly, wanting to stop the words that she doesn’t want to marry me.
She seems disturbed, almost angry, as she asks heatedly, "Did Eric tell you about his proposal before he contacted me?"
Eric? – I find my mind silently stumbling over his name, my stomach completely bottoming out at hearing his name coming from her lips.
"Contacted me?" I ask, barely able to form the words.
Her gaze slides over my face, losing her anger, as she says remorsefully, "I guess not."
She sighs heavily, causing my stomach to heave violently and I have to s
wallow again.
"He called me with a business proposition. He is opening a restaurant in LA and has asked me to be his partner, giving me full rein to do as I please. He would be my investor and silent partner." I hear her say the words but I’m unable to believe them
Instead, I stare at her in shock.
She waits for a response from me but I’m unable to respond.
My world feels like it is tilting...
Falling away from me...
"Lucas," she whispers, reaching out her hand to me.
Then anger takes over. Hot and explosive.
"That god damn fucking bastard!" I spit out, slapping my hand down hard on the counter, causing Emma to jump. "He won't give up, will he?"
I start pacing, running my hands through my hair, wanting to tear it out.
“He dangled that in front of you to get to you,” I stop my pacing to stand in front of her as I continue, my rage evident, “Tell me you’re not considering it?”
Her eyes plead with me as she murmurs softly, "Lucas..."
I know from her face what she is about to tell me next.
My heart wrenches within my chest.
Shaking my head, I say pleadingly, "No, Emma."
She is going to break me, - my brain silently tries to warn my heart.
"I'm sorry Lucas but I want to consider it," she whispers, tears in her eyes.
I want to shake her. Can't she see? This is a ploy. Eric is playing with her.
Walking over to her, I grasp both of her arms as she looks up and into my face. Should I tell her I want to marry her? Would that get her to stay?
Opening my mouth, she doesn’t give me a chance as she stops me with her own words, as she says softly, "This has always been a dream of mine, Lucas. You have fulfilled yours and now I have a chance to fulfill mine."
Those softly spoken words have the desired effect. I back off, stung.
Turning from her, I brace my hands on the counter. I feel my insides shaking, filling with rage...despair.
Silence fills the room.
“Lucas?” I hear her ask after several moments of silence. I remain silent.
“Can we just talk about this? Talk it through?” she asks.
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