by Jayne Blue
I knew better. I was raised to hate him. And I’d bet he’d been raised to hate me, and would, if he really knew who I was.
But there we were.
His breath mingled with mine. I tried to control the way my chest rose. It brushed against the leather he wore. We were that close. Benz’s hands were on both sides of the wall now. He had me caged. I could break free. Even if he didn’t want me to, I had the skills.
No man who’d ever tried to hold me could. I always slipped away.
But the hell of it was, I didn’t want to. I knew what he tasted like. I knew what he did to my body, even when he was across the room.
So I did something stupid, reckless, and wild. He had challenged me with his look, his walk, and his body. And I accepted it.
I leaned forward and took his lower lip in mine and bit down. Not hard, just a tug, and then I sucked it into my mouth. Then I leaned back.
“That’s right, Benz. You’re not the only rough one.” I gave him my best stare. The one I’d used in the academy, the one I’d used when I meant business. I gave him the flinty look I’d inherited from generations before me.
“You got no idea, Guffy. Turn around.” Before I could move, he'd moved me, flipped me around. I was dizzy. My cheek was pressed against the wall and I felt his hands all over me. I braced myself and could hardly stand to wait for what I had fantasized about to be real.
This was happening. What the hell had I done?
He pushed up the skirt of my dress and pushed aside my panties. I felt his hands on my ass and I leaned back. His leather pants were hard against my bare skin. What had I unleashed?
I leaned back into him. I was frantic, desperate for him to do more, take more. I had never felt this unhinged around a man in my life.
He reached around and freed both my breasts from the top of my dress.
Anyone could have walked by at any time and I didn’t care. I felt my core clench and somehow reach for him, but I couldn’t move my hands from the wall. It was the only thing keeping me upright. Benz grabbed both of my hips in his big hands and he was there. Right there. I gasped at the size, the sensation.
I heard him make some sort of growling noise and I swear he’d gone part animal. Each thrust had me nearly screaming and nearly coming. It was a frenzy and I was caught up in it.
“Go,” he said to me, as if I’d had a choice not to. An explosive orgasm ripped through my body in tight waves, with Benz like a piston behind me. I felt him go over the edge right after me. I could no longer see anything but white spots in front of my eyes. He’d taken me somewhere so fast and hard I could barely keep up.
“What was that?” I didn’t really know, other than that it felt incredible, wild, and over way too fast. I needed more from Benz. I wanted more from him right then. He smoothed my skirt down and turned me around. As rough as we’d just been, now he was gentle. He took off his leather and put it over my now nearly shredded dress.
I leaned up and kissed him. I’d drawn blood on his lip. Oh my God.
“I’m sorry. I hurt you,” I whispered. He lifted me up and kissed me hard.
“I’ll live,” he murmured and kissed me again. “You feel incredible.”
He felt incredible too: hard, brutal, and perfect. I’d never even imagined what this type of man would be like and here I was, still reeling from what it felt like to have him take me up against this wall. I’d started it with my bite and he’d finished in a way I didn’t know was coming. But I wanted again.
“I, uh– ” I looked down at myself, hoping to recognize something of who I was. Hoping to find a semblance of something familiar. But from the moment I had walked into Port Azrael, my life was changing in ways I hadn’t predicted.
“Come on, we’re a few steps away from my place.”
Benz took my hand and we literally did walk just a few steps to his building.
He was on the third floor. It looked like he had the entire floor to himself. His apartment was huge and surprisingly gorgeous. He had a wall of windows at the back that faced out to the water. On the one side, we were nearly in Downtown Port Azrael, and on the other, a resort.
It was unexpected. In my mind, he lived on his bike or something.
I guess I hadn’t even gotten that far.
He closed the door behind us and without planning it or thinking about it, I was in his arms again.
10
Benz
I hadn’t meant to take her that way, but when she touched me, it was a train out of control. Her body responded to my hands like no woman’s I’d ever touched. The woman was made for me at that moment and I wasn’t going to let the moment go. Who gave a shit that we were in an alley?
When I closed the door to my apartment, it happened again. No talking. No negotiation. Just her in front of me, in my arms. I had to get her naked this time. I couldn’t wait.
We were locked at the lips and my jacket that had been covering her fell to the floor. I could have ripped her dress off, but I did at least use some restraint there. I found her zipper and that was all it took. She was standing in my apartment now, in only the barely there panties I’d already nearly shredded.
“God, I have to look at you for a second.” It was true. I wanted to see her. I’d been fantasizing about her since I’d seen her in that yellow dress, but the reality was better than what I’d imagined.
Her breasts were beautiful with deep rose-colored nipples and I bent down and took one in my mouth, then the other. Jenny sighed as I did so. She was as into this as I was. There was no stopping us again. I lifted her up. This time I didn’t want to worry that she was up against a brick wall. She hadn’t said one thing about it, but I wanted her safe, I wanted it soft around her.
She had a wicked tongue, but something about her made me want to protect her. And devour her at the same time. I easily lifted her up and carried her to my bed.
That gorgeous brown hair fanned out around her head and she reached for me.
“Jenny,” was the only word I could come up with. This Jenny was fucking spectacular. I slid my hand over her stomach across her hip bone and felt the heat between her legs.
“Oh, God...” She closed her eyes and slid her legs alongside mine. Everything about her was soft, smooth, like silk. Everything about me was the exact fucking opposite, but she fit to my body in a way no other woman ever had.
It had been only a few minutes since we’d fucked like animals in the alley, but I was barely able to hold back and found her again.
Being inside her nearly drove me out of my head. Her heat matched mine. I moved my hips against hers and I felt her hips grind on mine in response.
“Benz, again, oh God.” Her words came out between short panting little breaths. She was on the edge again, just like I was. Jenny’s nails raked across my back as I rocked in and out. She screamed this time. Feeling her body clench around mine sent me over the top.
I leaned down and took one of her breasts in my mouth as we both lost it again.
Where had she come from? Really? How had I lived my entire fucking life without this in it? Without her in it?
I looked down and realized I was probably smothering her. I flipped us both over and she rested her hand on my chest.
“That was something else, Jenny.”
“Times two.”
“I don’t normally…”
“I don’t either. That was some wild shit. And all from the town librarian? Jesus. I should have been at the library reading instead of fixing cars as a teenager. Is this what those Harry Potter parties are all about?”
She laughed. I felt her body shake against mine.
This was normally the time when I’d make my exit. I had no time for talking to a woman after.
“More like the Fifty Shades parties.”
“Yeah, I was missing out.”
“To be fair, I’m a really good librarian.”
“Fuck yeah.” And it was my turn to laugh. Instead of wanting her out of my place, instead of worryi
ng she’d get too attached, I wanted her to stay. I wanted her in my arms. And I wanted to be inside her again.
“Benz, I’m sorry I stood you up the other day.”
“Yeah? Why did you change your mind?”
“I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
“Yeah, me too. But I had no idea it was going to be this... uh– ”
“Mind blowing? Yeah, me neither.”
I squeezed her tight. I wanted to know her, talk to her, tell her about myself. It was a totally different ball game with this chick.
But for the moment we just lay together. Which was okay too. She wasn’t someone who had to fill up every single moment of dead air with talking. I liked that about her too.
We could have lay like that all night.
But my phone buzzed. It was Bear.
11
Jen
My mind tried to process what had happened. My body needed no help. It was deliciously satisfied. I was tired but content in Benz’s arms. Benz. That was really all I knew. He was a Dark Saint. He was tough, he was protective of me, he had a great apartment, and he had me.
Twice.
I’d gone way beyond getting information from The Dark Saints in the last hour. I’d dove into the deep end and had no plan for getting out.
Lying in Benz’s arms gave me a false sense of security, or maybe I just felt out of time. Like what had just happened between us couldn’t have been real. Benz couldn’t be real.
But he was. For a moment I looked at him, just looked. His arms were covered in tats, over cords of muscle and vein. His chest was rock hard and trailed into abs that looked more like those of a Greek God than biker. I thought I’d noticed everything about him in his leather. I was wrong. We were wrapped up in each other and I was seeing more.
I needed to stop. The things I wanted to do to him were carnal for sure. I wanted to kiss every inch of his body.
How had I become so lost in this fantasy? Lost in him. The only reason I was here in this town was that I wanted to put him or at least his club out of business.
I was a liar.
I started to have a sick feeling in my stomach.
Benz may be the outlaw, but I felt like the criminal. What happened between us wasn’t an act on my part, it was intense, and unlike anything that I’d ever done.
But what was I? I was fake.
Benz squeezed me and planted a kiss on my forehead. I heard his phone buzz.
“I gotta take this babe.” Benz sat up and swung his legs over the bed. It was a moment of space between us that I needed.
I puzzle out what to do next. Who was this person that had lost complete control?
I combed through my hair with my fingers. Benz padded into his kitchen.
“Yep, the warehouse on pier three. What, nine p.m. early enough? Okay. They think New Jack Swing eh? Not playing.” He was talking low. He didn’t want me to hear. But the phrase New Jack Swing caught my ear. I knew that was morphine and heroin. He was arranging a drug deal. Right now. Right next to me.
And I remembered. I remembered who I was and why I was here.
I stayed still in bed. I pretended some more so I could hear. He said nine, he said warehouse on pier three. I committed it to memory.
“I’ll be sure no one fucks it up. Yep. I understand.”
Benz was getting the details of a deal for his MC.
I let it sink in. I let what my Grandma always told me come back.
This man may have no idea what happened to my Daddy, but his club did.
And his club was arranging a drug deal. That would be it. That would be how I put some of them away.
I hardened myself.
What had just happened with Benz was spectacular, but it was physical. I needed to remember that and put up a wall between my body and my mind.
My heart was set on something else. My heart was set on what my Grandma would want me to do and how my Daddy had died.
Benz came back to the bed. I was going to keep lying. I was going to make Benz believe that I was brainlessly into him.
I didn’t need some long game to catch The Saints. They were as dirty as Grandma said. It was almost too easy! I was going to be at pier nine with the cops for this drug deal. My boss, Paul Laraby, had sent me to make copies in Port Azrael, but I was going to aid in a major bust. I was excited at the prospect.
“Everything okay?” I asked him the question even while I committed to memory all the details I’d heard on his end of the conversation.
What did I know? Benz was the lookout for a drug deal? That was what it sounded like. I had a pang of concern that I was about to get this man arrested.
It was ugly what I was doing. I knew that. I’d let myself enjoy him, and now I was going to burn him. It was going to be a mess. But my life after Daddy died was a mess. I reminded myself of all the worst parts.
I spent my life knowing that the club was connected to the worst thing that ever happened to me. And I was here with a chance to do some damage to it.
Benz would probably get busted, but I told myself I didn’t care. It would serve him right. He was clearly a criminal.
That of course, was another lie. To myself.
I did care. I cared more about one Dark Saint than I could have predicted when I’d set my plan into motion in Port Azrael.
But one night couldn’t change my entire life. I wouldn’t let it.
I had work to do before nine tomorrow night.
Benz came back to bed.
“I missed you,” I said and put a sweet librarian smile on my face.
“Yep, just club stuff.”
“What do you do for the club, The Dark Saints?”
“Anything they ask.”
“Which is what usually?”
“Why the interest?”
“Well, I just realized I don’t really know anything about you other than, uh, this.” I had my head on his shoulder, and I was pumping him for information. I was the good detective, even if I had no idea what that actually meant.
Each question I asked took me further from the connection we shared and back to my mission to find out about The Saints. But I stayed molded to him, body to body. I had gotten in. It may have cost me more than I planned but I had done it. Now I had to go all the way.
“Well, I started out as probie changing the oil in the shop.”
“Where were your parents?”
“Oh, Mom was a drug addict. She OD’ed when I was little.”
“Jesus, that’s awful.” I imagined what he must have looked like as a little boy. No! No sympathy for the devil. Not that he was the devil.
“It was a long time ago though, it’s okay. ‘Just say no’; that’s not a problem for me after what I saw her do. Whiskey is my only drug. And surprisingly I’m addicted to librarians. Who knew?”
“Where’s was your Dad? Was he a Dark Saint?”
“My Dad wanted to be a Dark Saint.”
“What do you mean?”
“He thought he was one, tried to get in, but no, never. Saints wouldn’t take that asshole.”
“What does he do?”
“Nothing. He died trying to rob a bank. I’ve got a real pedigree. Let’s talk about something else. Or not at all.”
Benz kissed my forehead and I felt his hands move down my spine.
But it was like I’d left my body. What had he just said about his father? Died trying to rob a bank? Jesus Christ.
Had I just slept with the son of the man who’d killed my Daddy?
Had I gone from liar to much worse in the space of one sentence? What kind of person does that? This was Kenny Bass’s son? I felt bile rise in my throat. I was sleeping with the enemy. I squeezed my eyes shut and the last few hours replayed in rapid succession in my head.
It was my own fault. Shitty police work on my part. I lacked a critical piece of information about Benz, his last fucking name.
I was no better than the idiot college girls in the bars.
I didn’t
know his last name. I didn’t know if Kenny Bass had any kids when he died. I should have, but I didn’t know a damn thing. I’d barreled blindly ahead with my plans.
I could have stopped asking questions right then. I could have run. None of this was going the way I’d thought it would. If I’d missed this, it was very fucking likely I’d miss something else. I was a rookie in every sense of the word and I was in over my head.
Except. Except…
I had one more question to ask. I had to. At this point, it was like ripping off a bandage.
I struggled to keep my voice light. I didn’t want him to know that I was in turmoil inside. I was trying to pretend we were just talking after sex, that it was normal. Even though every answer made my stomach turn over in my body.
“I just realized I have no idea if Benz is your first name or last name?” I put my lips to his chest. I was playing the part now more than ever.
I knew what he was going to say before it came out of his mouth.
“Ha, well Benz is the name the club gave me. It was the first car I successfully fixed for the MC on my own. My actual name is Benjamin Bass. Sometimes they call me BB, which I hate.”
“Ah, Ben and Jen.” That sounded idiotic. I didn’t trust myself to say anything else. I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away as soon as I could, before my inner hysteria spilled out.
Benjamin Bass. Kenny Bass’s son. I’d just slept with Kenny Bass’s son.
“What’s wrong, Jen?” he said, and I knew I’d begun to pull away from him, no matter how much I was trying to maintain a façade. I wasn’t that good. I didn’t have ice in my veins. I needed that; maybe experienced cops had that? I had plunged into something and I needed out. Now.
“Um, nothing. But, this was crazy. I think I need to get back to my place. I have an early work day tomorrow and I didn’t expect all this.”
“Oh, I see.”
I sat up and looked around. Where the fucking hell were my clothes?