Tear

by Rachel Van Dyken

  Alec nibbled my lower lip and pulled me into a tight hug. “Let me go talk to him for a minute, okay? Leave your window open tonight.”

  “So you can sneak in and have your way with me?” I glared.

  Alec shook his head. “So I can pull you into my arms and tell you everything’s going to be okay.”

  I shivered and crossed my arms over my chest while I watched him run back into his house. Part of me wanted to chase after him, to see what kind of fight he and Demetri would get into. I wanted to believe Demetri, but pictures didn’t lie.

  I walked into my house and flipped on the TV. Now would be a good time to have piles of chocolate conveniently placed in a bowl on the table, but we needed to go grocery shopping. There wasn’t a morsel of chocolate in the house.

  I settled for popcorn, crossed my legs and flipped to the entertainment channel.

  Of course it wasn’t long before Demetri’s beautiful face popped on.

  “Must be nice being a rock star!” the commentator gushed. “Demetri Daniels was seen leaving another club late last night with yet another starlet on his arm! This time he made his intentions known as he snuck a kiss briefly before going into another club. Our party boy must be tired. He was seen going back to his hotel at four A.M!”

  I glared at the TV.

  It wasn’t what the reporter was saying that bothered me. Nope, it was the picture of Demetri looking at his cell phone and then putting it into his pocket.

  Lying bastard.

  If he had it yesterday, he saw all my texts.

  Irritated and way more hurt than I thought possible, I threw the remote onto the couch and marched up to my room, slamming the door in the process. I didn’t even bother to wash my face. I tumbled under the covers and fought back tears. Why would he lie to me? Had he been lying the whole time? What purpose would that serve?

  I hid further under the covers then remembered Alec wanted me to leave my window open, I hopped out of bed and opened the latch then tried desperately to fall asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  I awoke to Alec kissing me, which on one hand could be considered slightly horrifying. Since I hadn’t washed any makeup off my face, I knew I looked slightly insane if not at least partially unstable.

  I opened my eyes. His large body was hovering over mine. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself.” I blinked my eyes so they could adjust to the pure male beauty in front of me and then Alec smiled. It was his same magic smile, the one he reserved only for me. I sighed.

  After a few minutes of silence Alec spoke. “He’s sorry.”

  “I don’t care if he’s sorry. Sorry means he realizes what he did was wrong. Sorry means he wasn’t lying to me the entire time we were together. How the hell can you defend him?”

  Alec cursed. “He’s my brother. It’s my job to protect him. Even if it’s from himself. You don’t understand. It’s complicated.”

  “And me? What about me?” I tried to wriggle away from him, but his arms braced my shoulders as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

  “I’m pretty sure my only job from here on out is to show you how much I love you.”

  Damn him. Leave it to Alec to say the one thing that melted all my defenses and made me want to throw my body at him like some lovesick teenager. Then again if the shoe fit…

  “Alec?” My voice cracked. “Was he lying the whole time?”

  Cold air met me as Alec threw back the covers and joined me in my bed. “No, Nat. He really did care about you. I think in his own twisted way he thought he was doing us a favor.”

  “By being a bastard?”

  “Come on, take his age into account, he’s immature.”

  “He’s a year younger than you,” I pointed out. “Besides, how is him being a complete ass helping anyone?”

  “It’s com—”

  “I swear if you say it’s complicated one more time I’m going to throw you out the window.”

  Alec laughed and nuzzled my neck. “I’d like to see you try.”

  “You doubt me?”

  His tongue blazed a trail down my neck. “Absolutely.”

  A moan escaped my lips before I could pretend to be totally indifferent to his kisses and his touch.

  Alec pulled my body against his then dipped his hands behind my head pulling it so I was resting on his shoulder staring directly at his lips.

  “Now what?” I whispered, still focused on the perfect shape of his jaw as his lips broke into a smile.

  “I have my way with you?”

  I rolled my eyes and pushed away enough to look up at his face. “You’re so romantic. Really, you take my breath away. I almost swooned just now. Good thing I’m lying down.”

  Alec chuckled and brought my hand to his lips to kiss it. “Fine, I won’t have my way with you yet… but,” he laced his fingers in between mine, “I’d really like to take you out on a date.”

  I wanted to date him. I wanted to do much more than that, but what would people say? I wasn’t normally the type of girl that worried about stuff like that, but after all the media buzz around my and Demetri’s relationship I knew it would blow up in my face if Alec and I were seen out and about.

  “People are going to say I’m a whore.”

  “Don’t.” Alec’s grip tightened on my hand as he pulled me closer to him. “This is my fault, not yours. I should have stayed away from you.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, both of us searching the other’s eyes, willing the other person to say something, to confess that it’s been like this since our first meeting.

  It wasn’t ever just a pen that he picked up off the floor.

  It was so much more. And though I tried to be with the guy that Alec kept pushing me toward, my heart wouldn’t ever let go.

  “Stupid pen,” I grumbled.

  “Huh?”

  I giggled. “Never mind. So…” I played with the hair on the back of his head, twisting it between my fingers. “About this date.”

  “I’ll do anything. Just don’t stop.” Alec rested his head against my chest and groaned.

  “Our date?” I reminded him.

  “Uh-huh.” His hands wrapped around my body hugging me close to him as I continued to play with his hair and rub his neck. “I think I may like this better than sex.”

  I froze.

  “Damn, did I say that out loud?” Alec tensed above me. I burst out laughing.

  “At least I know what I need to do to get you to confess to me all your dirty little secrets.”

  “That’s bribery and manipulation, a federal offense…” His words trailed off as he moaned again and relaxed against me.

  “You were saying,” I whispered as I wrapped my hands around the base of his neck then worked down to his broad shoulders.

  “Marry me.”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you only asked so you’d have a personal masseuse.”

  “I have other reasons.”

  “I’m sure you do.”

  “Fine, but I’m asking again tomorrow,” Alec grumbled and turned his head so his ear was pressed against my chest.

  His admission should have scared me. I mean, he was kidding, but I knew Alec. He didn’t really kid about stuff. He was the serious one, the brooding one, the one who made girls want to pass out when he crooned into the microphone. I shivered.

  “You cold?”

  Nope, just hot for you and pretty freaked out that you just joked about marrying me. “I’m good.”

  “Nat.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I love you.”

  Holy crap. I froze again. It felt like my heart stopped beating, but I knew I was alive because I was still breathing. He really needed to stop surprising me like that. I mean, I’m young, but a girl can only handle so much.

  I took an earth-shattering breath. The type that you need before you say something that you know is going to s
hift the planes of your universe, the type you take when it’s inevitable that nothing in your life is ever going to be the same.

  “I love you, too.”

  ****

  I got into the backseat of Alec’s SUV and began nervously wringing my hands together. I knew Demetri would be riding with us. I also knew Demetri probably noticed that Alec didn’t sneak back into their house until about an hour ago. It didn’t help that he had a very satisfied grin on his face.

  I took special care in dressing plain. I didn’t want anyone staring at me, I wanted no attention whatsoever. To get attention meant people would notice the not so subtle looks Alec threw my way.

  Demetri emerged from the house. He opened the car door and glanced at me. “Hey, Nat.” His voice was sad. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but the temptation to strangle him was also really strong, so I kept my hands in my lap and nodded.

  “Hey, Demetri.”

  “Listen—” Demetri turned around while Alec drove the car out of the driveway. Oh gosh, there wasn’t any escape at all. I had to sit there and look into Demetri’s eyes while he made me feel like a complete jerk, when really he was the one who was whoring around. Not that I was any better. I cringed when I thought of my behavior over the past few weeks.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Huh?” I felt my jaw drop.

  He shrugged. “I’m sorry I lied.” And that was it. He turned back around. No more apologies, no more words. It was as if the past few months didn’t even happen. Our history together, the drama between the two of them. I mean, didn’t I at least get an explanation?

  The rest of the ride to school was filled with awkward silence and the sound of my breathing. At least that’s what it felt like. By the time Demetri hopped out of the car and I opened my door, I wanted to turn right back around and jog home.

  “Hey…” Alec grabbed me as I sat on the edge of the seat, my legs hanging out the door. “If it makes you feel better, it’s rare for him to admit he’s wrong about anything.”

  I nodded. “Okay,”

  “Class?” Alec held out his hand. I grabbed it. Yes, people would talk and they would stare, but I needed his strength to get me through the day.

  By the time the lunch bell rang I was actually feeling pretty positive about the whole situation. Nobody had said anything about my and Demetri’s very public break up, and even though I noticed some girls whispered when I walked in with Alec, for the most part it was a normal day in Hell.

  “Nat!” Evan waved me over to our usual table. “So,” he said when I took a seat. “You cut off his balls?”

  “Evan!” I slapped him and felt my cheeks blush crimson. “It’s not as bad as that. I mean, he’s a rock star. It’s not my business if that’s the circle he wants to date in.”

  “Huh?” Evan looked between me and Alec then leaned forward. “Not talking about last night’s news, Nat. I’m talking about today’s.”

  “Today’s?” I looked to Alec, but his eyes were already trained on something across the room. His jaw clenched. I followed his eyes and gasped.

  Demetri was making out with a girl from my class. His hands everywhere on her body. I gripped the chair and called him every name I could possibly think of in my head.

  Alec made a move to get up. I reached out and stopped him. “Just let him, Alec. If this is how he wants to deal with the past few months, then let him.”

  Alec did not look convinced. In fact, it looked like he wanted to murder someone. He pulled out his cell and in very clipped, scary tones ordered one of the security team to give Demetri aid. Like that was going to help, what was he going to do, castrate him?

  Sure enough, Bob moved very swiftly through the gathering crowds and whispered something in Demetri’s ear as he assaulted the girl in his chair.

  He leaned back, just enough to make eye contact with me, and then with his eyes opened kissed the girl again, alternating between licking her face and tugging her lower lip.

  It was like watching porn.

  If porn took place in high school.

  And the lead was a rock star.

  “Sometimes I hate my brother.” Alec cursed. “Now do you wonder why we need to take a year off touring? Clearly we’ve got issues.”

  “We?” I lifted my eyebrow.

  “Yeah, we.” Alec looked down and cursed again.

  Within minutes Demetri’s little show was over, and wonder of all wonders as he walked away from the girl who was now pouting in the corner, he grabbed another. Yes, another girl, and began to kiss her.

  What type of girl kisses another guy when they still have remnants of a previous kiss plastered across their face?

  She pulled back after a few minutes. And I watched Demetri stagger behind Bob as he was escorted out of the cafeteria.

  “Is he drunk?”

  Alec was silent.

  “Alec?”

  “Probably.” He looked away. “He doesn’t handle rejection well.”

  “He did this!” I pointed at the door, angry that Alec would again take the blame for choices someone else was making. “Not us!”

  Alec looked like he wanted to scream; he shook his head and then ran his fingers through his hair. “I know, Nat. It’s just hard to watch this again.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ll tell you, just not now.”

  I nodded, but didn’t trust his word. Both guys had been ridiculously secretive about whatever incident happened between them two years ago. It was stupid vain hope that kept me trusting that he would keep to his promise and actually say something.

  The bell rang. “Come on, I’ll walk you to class.” He threw my bag over his shoulder and grabbed my hand.

  The rest of the day went by smoothly. Two girls asked me if I was dating the other brother in AD2 now that Demetri was clearly occupied. I glared, and briefly contemplated giving them the finger.

  Needing to calm my temper. I stomped over to my locker and threw my books inside. Escape… I needed to escape before I said something that would make me more of a target.

  I pushed through the front doors of my school, a hand reached out and jerked me back just as my feet touched the curb.

  It was Demetri.

  “Nat,” he groaned, pulling me against him, his head dipping down as if he wanted to kiss me. He smelled like whiskey, I pushed away from him but he held me fast. “Nat, I didn’t mean it.”

  “Demetri, stop, you’re drunk.” Frantic, I looked around for Alec, but he wasn’t anywhere near us. Kids continued to trickle out of the school. Please hurry, Alec.

  “I’m not that drunk.” He swayed on his feet. Really? He was completely and totally wasted. “I just need to talk to you I just want to tell you why!”

  Okay, no shouting. I patted him on the arm. “Okay, why?”

  “I love you.”

  Oh no.

  “I love you so much and I know you love him! I know you do! I saw you two, the way you looked at each other! I didn’t want to be second.” Here we go again with this second crap.

  “Listen, Demetri. You really need to get your crap together. I’m sorry we didn’t work out. I’m also sorry that you didn’t have the balls to say it to my face before you stormed out and hooked up with the first girl in L.A. you could find.”

  “We didn’t.” He looked down and shoved his hands in his pockets. “We didn’t hook up, I kept thinking about you. Saw your texts.” He swayed again then braced himself against the brick wall backing me up against it.

  “I saw them, Nat. I wanted to respond so bad, but I needed time to think. And then Alec does what he does best.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Steals the only girl I love.”

  “Oh, so he makes a habit of that?” I sneered, angry that he would again blame Alec for his obvious poor choices.

  “You have no idea how messed up we are.”

  “I’m beginning to understand,” I answered, teeth clenched.

  “He stole her.”


  “Okay, Demetri.” I patted him on the arm and stepped around him.

  He reached out and tugged me against him. “No, you don’t understand. My girlfriend. He slept with her, got her pregnant, abandoned her.”

  Nausea rolled over me. “He said it was a one night stand.”

  “With my girlfriend.” Demetri scowled. “Who was too much of a good girl to even think about sleeping with me. She slept with him.”

  I gulped. I wanted to throw my hands over my ears and tell him to stop talking, that I couldn’t listen anymore, but I was frozen, unable to move as he stepped closer and continued.

  “She was mine!” Demetri’s voice cracked. “And he knew it! He was such a cocky son of a bitch. We were drunk. He said I needed to seal the deal. I told him it was impossible, so we made a bet.”

  I didn’t like where this was going.

  “He said if he got into her pants that I owed him a new car.” Demetri looked away from me, tears blurring his large blue eyes. “I laughed it off. Alec was always the player. I knew he’d try, but she loved me. I knew she loved me. Just like I knew you loved me. And now…” Demetri cursed and punched the wall with his fist, blood trickled down his knuckles. “Now she’s dead.”

  The wall where we stood began to spin. I tried to balance myself, tried to lean on Demetri but he had already walked off, leaving splatters of blood in his wake. I fell to my knees.

  “Nat!” Alec called my name, but it hurt too much to breathe let alone speak. “Nat!”

  I swallowed, air whooshed by my ears. My eyes began to feel heavy as tunnel vision took over.

  “Nat!” His voice was closer, and then I was moving through the air. “Damn it, Nat. Don’t you dare pass out on me!” Alec’s hand was warm against my face. My eyes flickered and then focused on him.

  He half-carried me, half-walked me to his SUV and helped me inside. Too shocked to say anything, all I could do was stare at the heating vents in front of me. The slam of the car door jolted me back from my current state. I looked at Alec and gasped.

  Blood trickled from his lip.

  “You lose a fight?” I asked weakly.

  “Not funny.” Alec hit his hands against the steering wheel. “You scared the crap out of me, Nat! Are you okay? Did you eat today?”