Reclaim Me

by A. O. Peart

  “I will sleep at Rita’s tonight, she offered that. But I don’t have any of my things. Everything is back at the apartment.”

  “Let me drive you back to Rita’s. I’ll go upstairs while you wait at her place. If there is no trouble, I’ll get you so you can pack your belongings. Do you have a lease on that place?”

  “No, it’s in Seth’s name. I’m not on the lease, thankfully.” I shook my head. “He’ll have to return at some point, right? Will the police come, if he’s there, to arrest him?”

  “Yes, if they have the arrest warrant, like they promised, they will come to get him. But someone needs to notify the police when Seth shows up. You can’t be that someone.” He looked at me with concern in his eyes. “I’m not even sure if staying at Rita’s is such a good idea. It’s too close.”

  “I could go to my mom’s place, but I can’t show up, looking like this.” I motioned to my face. “It would upset her too much.”

  “Any other trusted friends then? Or family members?”

  I blew a quiet puff of air, letting my cheeks deflate slowly. The truth was I didn’t have any good friends. I knew a lot of other teachers from school. Some were closer to me than others, but there wasn’t really anyone I would feel comfortable asking to stay with—especially given the circumstances. All my family lived in Idaho and Montana. My mom and I moved to Portland right before I entered high school. We had lived here ever since.

  Jack glanced at me again, waiting for me to answer.

  I didn’t say anything for a while. It’s not like I hadn’t thought about my situation and possible solutions, but my choices were extremely limited. I could’ve checked into a hotel, but I dismissed that quickly. Staying by myself with only strangers around was not the best option. I wouldn’t feel safe at all. Seth could’ve gotten to me way too easily.

  “I think Rita’s place the only possible alternative.” I met his eyes. “We’ve been friends for a long time. I know I can trust her to help.”

  “That’s not the point, Willow. You will be in the immediate vicinity of Seth’s apartment.” He shook his head, frowning. “No, that’s not good.”

  “I really don’t have an alternative.”

  Jack kept his gaze on the road, deep in thought. I didn’t interrupt his thoughts, since I had plenty of my own to sort through. We drove in silence for a while, the wipers noisily sweeping the pounding rain off the windshield. I checked the time on the dashboard—it was after midnight.

  I realized that I wouldn’t be able to go to school tomorrow. My bruised and swollen face would cause uproar among the children, the teachers, and the parents. I had to let the school know I'd be absent for over a week, or until makeup could easily conceal my injuries.

  Jack was right—staying at Rita’s was risky. I wouldn’t be able to leave the apartment without the possibility of running into Seth, which would be a disaster. I couldn’t put Rita at risk, no matter how tough she acted. And I had to stay far away from anywhere Seth could easily find me.

  I closed my eyes and leaned back into the seat. We were close to my apartment building. My heart sunk. I still didn’t have a plan. For a fleeting moment I considered calling my mom and going to her place, but I dismissed that idea immediately.

  She would be horrified to see me beaten like this. She had enough on her plate, battling diabetes, polymyositis disease, and advanced arthritis in both hands. She still worked over forty hours a week to make ends meet and never accepted any monetary help from me. I figured out a way to help her, though, by buying her a week’s worth of groceries twice a month.

  I was back to square one, and irritated for allowing myself to become so isolated, with no friends and no one to rely on when it became necessary to do just that. I realized that I’d mistaken my independence and the need to be self-sufficient for letting loneliness become my true partner.

  Jack pulled into the parking garage under the apartment building. He turned the engine off and twisted his body toward me. As comical as he looked, squished inside my tiny car, he still managed to appear gorgeous with his strong, muscular body, chiseled features, and intelligent eyes that seemed to see right through me.

  He faced me and said, “Okay, so hear me out, please.” He looked away as if gathering his thoughts, but when his eyes found mine, I knew he had some plan formulated and was ready to share it with me. I quietly waited.

  “I will get straight to the point, because I don’t know how to bullshit and chitchat. You wait in Rita’s apartment while I go upstairs and see if the dipshit is back. If he is … I will deal with him.” He raised his hand to stop me when I opened my mouth to protest, so I closed my lips and nodded for him to continue. “If he’s not there, though, I will come down and get you so you can pack your stuff. After you do, we will go to my place. You can stay there as long as you want. My house isn’t large, but I have a spare bedroom that you can use. It has its own bathroom too. There is a monitored alarm system. You will be safe, protected, and comfortable in there. I promise, I’m offering this just as any old friend would. Do you understand? There isn’t any hidden agenda or any trap that you would be walking into.”

  I stared at him, speechless. Did he just offer to take me to his own place and give me his protection? I tried to decide how I felt about that, but I needed time to fully digest such a plan. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. No, there was nothing easy about our situation. It’s been years since we’ve been together. Each of us went our own way, and we were now completely different people. So why was I hesitating? Why didn’t I embrace the idea, especially when my options were non-existent?

  “You can think about that while I go check on your place,” Jack stated, pulling the keys from the ignition and opening the driver’s door.

  I unbuckled my seatbelt and was about to reach for my door, when Jack appeared on my side of the car and yanked the door open. It startled me, since I wasn’t used to any kind of chivalry. I must’ve given him a strange look, because his expression changed to one of amusement mixed with uncertainty.

  In that moment, he appeared much younger, like the boy he’d been on prom night … no, I didn’t want to go there. It was all in the past, and it’s better kept to in the past.

  I looked everywhere, except at Jack, while scrambling out of the vehicle. He swiftly closed the door behind me and stood aside, letting me pass. Much had changed about Jack and, so far, I had to admit—all for the better. But I pushed that thought aside. There was no sense in dwelling on the past and comparing it to the present. We left the garage and walked up the stairs to Rita’s apartment. Before we reached her floor, I decided to call her and see if she was back from work. I texted her before we left for emergency room, so she knew where I was and with whom.

  She answered on the second ring, “Where are you, Willow?”

  “Just about to knock on your door. Or should I use my key?”

  “Oh, you’re back? Good. Either way—the key or knock. I’m right here and walking to open the door for you, anyway. Is Jack with you?”

  “Yes, he’s here.” I glanced at Jack. He turned his head toward me, and our eyes met.

  He had the brightest blue eyes that I’d always adored. Framed in dark, thick eye lashes and hooded by his black eyebrows, they were fascinating. His hair was on the longer side, just brushing the collar of his jacket. It was thick, jet-black, and completely unruly, but in a fashionable way. I recalled it much shorter in high school. Back then, his body wasn’t as brawny as it was now. His appearance had definitely changed. There wasn’t much left in him of the teenage Jack I remembered so well.

  “Is she talking about me? Saying something rude and made up, I bet.” Jack chuckled.

  It was an unexpected sound, and I couldn’t help but smile at him. Pain shot through my battered lip, and I inhaled sharply.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. Just need to remember not to grin stupidly.” I pointed to my mouth.

  “I’ll get you some ice at Rita’s. You need to ice your
face as often as you can.”

  He was right, but I wasn’t used to anyone fussing over me. Well, except for my mom, but that was different.

  Rita opened the door to her apartment as soon as we stepped off the staircase and onto the landing. She spread her arms wide and pulled me into a hug. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, sweetie. I came as soon as I could. There was a total mess at work,” she murmured into my hair and then held me at arm’s length, frowning. Her mouth twisted in dismay. “Jesus, look at you. What did that fucking asshole do? I’m gonna kill him. Where the hell is he?”

  Jack quietly stood behind me. Nobody was talking, except for a very aggravated Rita. She shot Jack a glance and asked, “Did you see that worthless piece of shit here? Were the cops here too?”

  “Yes and yes,” Jack finally said. “Let’s go inside.”

  “What do you mean by ‘yes and yes’?” Rita fumed. “You saw him, and he’s still walking? Or is he?” She looked suspiciously at Jack, but at the same time, there was a spark of hope in her eyes.

  “No, I didn’t kick his ass, if that’s what you want to know.” Jack sighed, motioning us inside. He closed the doors after the three of us filed into the apartment. With him looming over me and Rita, the apartment felt very small.

  “Why? Are you getting soft in your old age?” Rita accused in an exasperated tone. “You could’ve flattened him with just one punch, Jack. He's had it coming for a long while.”

  I felt his eyes on me. I returned his gaze, but he immediately looked away.

  He wasn’t explaining why Seth walked away unscathed, so I decided to fill Rita in. “I stopped Jack. I didn’t want him to get into a fight.”

  Rita’s frown deepened when she asked, her voice back to a gentle lilt, “But why, sweetie? Why? Seth deserved to have his balls ripped off, but good.” She gave Jack a meaningful look and shook her head at him. “Knowing you, my friend, it must’ve taken a whole lot of stopping.”

  He grimaced at Rita’s words, and his eyes flicked back to me. “Yeah, right. I’m just a fucked up idiot who can’t stop himself.” He looked miserable. There was so much discomfort etched into his features.

  “What’s with ‘Yeah right’?” Rita wasn’t giving up. “You didn’t have a problem beating the crap out of that entire group of punks at my bar tonight, but when it comes to defending this poor woman, your balls are nowhere to be found?”

  Fleetingly, Jack looked at her in disbelief, but then became stone-faced. Wordlessly, he passed Rita and walked into the kitchen.

  “What? It’s true. Jack could’ve taught that Seth asshole a lesson that he deserves, hands down. He’s got the skills. You should’ve seen him deliver a punch.” Rita followed Jack, but turned to look at me.

  “Stop, Rita. Please, stop. This is just too confusing.” I put my hands up, pleading.

  She gaped at me, clearly not comprehending what bothered me about her rant. How could she? First of all, she had no idea that Jack and I had known each other before, and that we’d actually been in a serious relationship. She couldn’t possibly discern that both of us were uncomfortable with her blabbering about Jack beating up someone. Rita was a good woman, and I loved her like a sister. It didn’t surprise me she was so blunt now, because that’s just the way she always was.

  Was that true? Did he actually get into a brawl at the bar tonight? Of course he did. What did I expect? People didn’t change, they just pretended they did. Jack was still the same hot-headed party boy who practically lived for using his fists to prove his own worth—just the way he did as a teenager.

  That was the exact reason why I left him in high school. For three years I put up with his violent outbursts; although he’d never laid a hand on me, or on any other girl. He wasn’t the type who would ever hurt a woman, but fighting with other guys was like a drug to him. I tried and tried to change him, but I finally couldn’t go on any longer. There was no sense in beating my head against the wall if the wall wasn’t crumbling. So I broke up with him, even though my heart bled. It actually had never stopped bleeding. I realized that, now. I had probably continued loving Jack all these years, and that was about to become my undoing.

  Jack handed me an ice pack and pushed past Rita and me. “I’m gonna check the apartment upstairs. I’ll text you, Rita, if it’s safe for Willow to come up and pack her stuff.”

  I didn’t miss the edge in his voice. I stared wordlessly, still lost in my thoughts.

  “Sure,” Rita managed to call after him. As soon as he closed the door, she turned to me, hands on her hips. “What the hell was that about? Did I say something wrong?”

  Despite all the conflicting feelings that surged through me, I managed a little smile, trying to put her at ease. She was the way she was—big-mouthed and straightforward, but also the most faithful and caring friend.

  “Well?” she prompted.

  What was the point in hiding the facts from Rita? She was my best friend and Jack’s good buddy as well. Sooner or later, the truth would surface, and then her feelings would be hurt because she would believe I withheld the information from her.

  So, I took a deep breath and said, “Jack and I have known each other for a long time. Since ninth grade, actually.”

  Chapter Four

  She blinked. “Really? Small world, isn’t it?”

  I went to the living room, sat down on a tiny, threadbare sofa, and folded my hands in my lap, feeling strangely old. “It’s not just that. We used to be an item. A very tight item. I was crazy about him and I know he was totally into me, too. But things just went wrong… really, really wrong for us. And, well, we parted ways.”

  “You must be shitting me! Are you serious? What are the odds?!” Rita pulled the chair right next to the sofa and collapsed into it. “So, wait. Let me get this straight—you guys were high school sweethearts, but some kind of crap happened and you broke up?”

  “Pretty much.” I nodded, overwhelmed by a surge of emotions. I pressed the ice pack to my face. The cold stung, but I welcomed the sensation.

  “This is incredible!” she exclaimed, grinning, but then her smile hardened, twisted in confusion, and was rapidly replaced by a dawning comprehension. “So, you’re telling me you two actually know each other quite well, but today is the first time you’ve seen one another since … what? A few years ago? Is that it?”

  I nodded slowly, watching my right hand pick at the loose thread hanging from the hem of my sweater. It seemed to do so of its own volition, as if my brain had more important things to do than to worry about my hand. It actually did—it tried to sort through my strange and unexpected reality.

  “Holy crap.” Rita’s jaw dropped while her eyes flickered with understanding. “Sweetie, I’m sorry. You realize I had no way of knowing. I hope you don’t think I … geez, this is like some bad movie. Okay¸ so what’s really going on here? Are you okay with Jack’s being here? Should I do something?”

  “It’s fine, Rita. That was a long time ago. We were just kids.” I flinched, realizing that my words weren’t true at all. It wasn’t fine. It was actually perplexing, infuriating, and disappointing.

  She arched one eyebrow, waiting for more. I wasn’t fooling her. She knew me way too well.

  I lifted my chin and took a deep breath then turned my head to look at my best friend.

  Her expression of disbelief morphed into that of comprehension. Her lips parted and she leaned closer to me. “Sweetie, you still love him, don’t you?”

  I almost denied it. In that moment, I made a decision to stop lying to myself and to everyone else. Those big girl panties? Yeah, they were still on, and they would stay on—no matter the situation. I had to face my past and my present reality; and I had to acknowledge my feelings.

  So I nodded, looking straight into her eyes. “I’m afraid I’ve never stopped loving Jack. I just … can’t. That thing between us was the real deal, you know? Something that doesn’t happen with everyone, only with that special person.”

  “But?” Rita
asked in encouraging tone.

  I groaned, leaning back into the sofa and closing my eyes. “I don’t know. This is so confusing. I want to deny it, but I honestly can’t.”

  “Did you guys talk about it? About the past?”

  “No, there hasn’t been any time, really. First, we were both startled to see one another. Then he was pissed to see me like this. He wanted to run and beat up Seth, but I begged him not to. And then the police arrived.”

  “Okay, you know my view on the Seth situation. I really don’t wanna say this, but I’d told you a zillion times to leave that asshole. Not sure why you stopped Jack, because Seth could use a good beating. Maybe that would teach him not to raise a hand—”

  I interrupted her right there, “No. You see? You think that beating someone up would teach him a lesson not to hit someone else. That’s the problem, right there. That’s exactly how Jack used to be … or something tells me he still is. Violence only creates more violence. Fists don’t solve problems. They create more.”

  She looked at me with eyes wide-open. When she finally spoke, her voice was gentle, stripped of the heat it was laced with before, “I see your point. It actually makes a lot of sense. But, how about this simple fact—guys like Seth—understand only one language: Thunder and Lightning,” she lifted one fist at a time. “Sorry, it’s a reality, Willow.”

  I huffed a breath and didn’t even glance in Rita’s way. We had to agree to disagree on the subject. Her phone chirped, announcing the arrival of a text message. She fished it out of her jeans pocket and looked at the screen. “Jack says it’s okay to come up. I’m going with you.” She stood up and reached her hand to me.

  I took her hand. “Thank you for being here for me, Rita.”

  “Oh, honey. You don’t need to thank me. That’s what girlfriends are for.”

  But it wasn’t just that. The fact was, I was thanking her for going upstairs with me. I didn’t want to face Jack alone. I needed some time to think.