Heroes Without Honour

by Alan David

  He clenched his teeth and bunched his muscles, making the effort needed to move quietly but quickly. But before he could move there was a furtive sound on the opposite side of the crater. He froze immediately and, a few heart-stopping seconds later, saw a Pole slide into the crater and bend over the inert figure.

  Eckhardt launched himself forward in a flat lunge, his Bergmann in his left hand, the dagger in his right, and the scraping sounds of his movement sounded fearsome in the silence. But at that moment the Polish machine-gun cut loose again, and he dropped upon the living man and reacted instinctively, plunging the dagger into the Pole’s neck as he swarmed upon him. He felt a gush of warm blood spurt over his hand and the hilt of the dagger.

  Steine followed instantly, unaware of the situation, and Eckhardt found the corporal jammed against his right elbow as he was in the act of withdrawing his dagger from the Pole. He could not move and the Pole screamed hoarsely, twisting convulsively. Steine uttered a gasp of shock, and Eckhardt struck with his machine-pistol, crashing the barrel against the Pole’s head. The man was not wearing a steel helmet and, as he slumped, Eckhardt saw a white armband gleaming palely, upon which a red cross showed like a black accusation.

  The Pole was dead, and so was the wounded man he had come to help. Eckhardt moved slightly, retrieving his dagger, and eased up to the lip of the crater, wondering if they had been spotted. His right boot pressed against the dead first-aid man’s head, which supported him, and he looked around carefully, then reached down to Steine and touched the corporal’s shoulder.

  Steine came up to the lip of the crater just as the machine-gun fired another burst, and they remained motionless while leaden death whipped only inches above them. Then Steine reached for a grenade and Eckhardt turned half to his right, ready for the hell which would be loosed by their action. The next instant Steine leaped up and threw the grenade with all his strength, falling back into the crater with the same movement. He could not have been exposed more than two seconds, but his action attracted tremendous response. Small arms rattled in a murderous volley and the crater was lashed by heavy fire.

  The stick grenade exploded within feet of the machine-gun, its flash searing the shadows. But the rapid sparks of the defending weapons tattered the darkness, lifting a corner of it to reveal a glimpse of hell. Eckhardt and Steine lay with their heads down, and Eckhardt knew they had to move out before grenades were thrown in return, although it would be near-suicide to attempt to leave the crater.

  But covering fire came from their own positions. Eckhardt drew a sharp breath as he silently blessed Meyer. He tapped Steine with a steady hand and they slid into the open to return the way they had come. The shooting continued unabated but they remained beneath its lethal arc. When they reached their own line of defence they were challenged hoarsely, and Eckhardt was aware of great relief as they slid into cover beside the sergeant. It took a long while for the shooting to subside, and then the night remained uneasy.

  Chapter Ten

  The headlong dash by the Panzers petered out as they reached the suburbs of Warsaw, and Kurt was relieved when they saw the outskirts of the city for it meant that a different kind of battle would be fought. The tanks had to take second place to infantry and could only be used as support weapons. They rolled into leaguer in the countryside just outside the north-west perimeter of the capital and relaxed as Panzer-grenadiers and infantry roared past in a never-ending stream to hurl themselves at the defences ahead. Night was coming and the first serious assault would not take place until the next morning. Leutnant Reinhalt called up and ordered that all tanks should be armed and refuelled, and then they could stand down and rest during the night. It would be the first complete night’s rest since they entered the war.

  Kurt ensured that the tank was ready for action before letting the crew relax, and then they had a meal and settled down to get some sleep. They were all exhausted, and the madcap advances of the past days had taken a terrific toll of their stamina and nerves. Even now, with the sounds of battle blasting in the background, Kurt found it difficult to relax, and he lay in his blankets under the tank and gazed unseeingly into the darkness, his mind filled with the incidents which had occurred during the past weeks. They had crammed the horrible experiences of a lifetime into those hectic days, but now the end was in sight and he fought to overcome his tension.

  A faint movement near by attracted his attention and he lifted his head. He could not sleep despite his weariness, and slid out of his blankets when he spotted a furtive figure making its way across the space between the leaguered tanks. He reached for his pistol and sneaked after it, aware that one of his crew was on the prowl, and, without checking, guessed that it was Schultze, who had a reputation in the Company for collecting souvenirs and foraging. But they had specific orders to remain in their positions, and Kurt did not want his driver to get into trouble. If Schultze was going to break bounds then he would be severely punished if caught, and Kurt did not fancy going into the battle for Warsaw with a strange driver at the controls of his Mark IV.

  When the figure dropped flat to avoid a slowly-moving sentry, Kurt sneaked forward and reached out to touch one of the man’s boots. There was a faint rustling sound as Schultze, whom it was, half-turned, and Kurt saw starlight gleam upon the metal pistol gripped in his driver’s hand. But Schultze recognised him and relaxed, waiting for the sentry to get out of earshot before whispering hoarsely.

  ‘Sergeant, you gave me the fright of my life.’

  ‘Where are you going?’ Kurt countered. ‘You know the orders. My God, we’re almost in the front line here, and if the sentry saw you sneaking around he might think you’re an enemy and shoot you. What’s going on in that thick head of yours, Schultze?’

  ‘I saw a farmhouse over this way just before dark,’ Schultze replied. ‘I thought I’d just have a look around. We’ve been continuously in action for over three weeks now, Sergeant, and we haven’t had time to think straight, let alone consider other things.’

  ‘What you mean is that you’re going out to try and steal something,’ Kurt said severely. ‘You know the penalty for looting, don’t you?’

  ‘Looting?’ Schultze chuckled harshly. His teeth gleamed in the night. ‘I’ve got other things on my mind, Sergeant. There might be a woman around who’d welcome a strong, virile Berliner who hasn’t had a single chance in two months to get rid of his stored-up passion.’

  ‘The officers will probably be in the farmhouse,’ Kurt said, shaking his head. He knew Schultze had a reputation with the girls, but so had the others, and he had often listened to them bragging about their exploits with the opposite sex. He had never joined in the general conversation about women, and such was his nature that he had always been shy around girls. He was in love with Anna back home in Dettfeld, but he had never attempted to touch her sexually and had no intention of doing so until they were married. His amorous adventures had never exceeded a stolen kiss, for Aunt Gretel had reared him to respect women. In the main, he found himself unable to relax in the company of any girl. But he kept that knowledge to himself, for he was aware that if his comrades learned of his virginal state he would be teased unmercifully.

  ‘I can find my way around without trouble,’ Schultze said quietly. ‘Let me go, Sergeant. If you’re not the type to want a little bit of stray then have some thought for a comrade who needs it. We’ve done our share of fighting since we invaded Poland, and this is only a lull before we hit Warsaw. We might get killed before this is over, and I’d hate to die without getting my share of the other.’

  ‘Schultze, you’re the limit! I can’t let you go.’

  ‘You can turn a blind eye, can’t you? Go back to your blankets and I’ll be back before stand-to to awaken you with your cup of coffee, like always.’ There was a pleading note in Schultze’s tone, and Kurt sighed heavily.

  ‘I’m only concerned that you’ll get yourself caught out of bounds,’ he retorted. ‘They would shoot you if you were found.’
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  ‘I’m willing to take my chances. We’ve been running risks ever since we came to Poland.’

  ‘Do you think there’s a chance of getting some eggs from the farm?’

  ‘Sure to be. I can smell them from here.’ Schultze chuckled. ‘You know I’m the best scrounger in the Company. Why don’t you come with me? It won’t be so bad if I’m not alone. They wouldn’t shoot us for trying to buy some eggs, would they?’

  Kurt sighed. He watched for the sentry, who had faded into the shelter of a tank for a smoke, and motioned for Schultze to precede him. They sneaked out of the leaguer and Schultze led the way unerringly towards the isolated farm. As they drew closer, Kurt grasped Schultze’s arm, and the driver turned swiftly.

  ‘Listen, we could be walking into trouble,’ Kurt warned. ‘We will try and get some eggs then go straight back to the tank, all right?’

  ‘You worry too much. You’ve been doing your duty properly for the past month. Now it’s time we had a chance to look out for ourselves.’

  They crawled in towards the shapeless mass that was a barn, and halted when they heard muttering voices in the shadows. Kurt grasped Schultze’s arm but the driver shook himself free.

  ‘That’s some of our men talking,’ Schultze asserted. ‘Wait here and I’ll go and find out what’s happening.’

  He was gone before Kurt could utter a protest, and returned within a couple of minutes, grinning widely, his teeth gleaming in the darkness.

  ‘You’ve been lecturing me about the rights and wrongs of leaving our tank, and half the Troop are over here queueing at the barn door. There are a couple of Polish girls inside, making a fortune. I’m going to get in the queue. Are you coming?’

  ‘No thanks.’ Kurt bit his lip. He spoke from habit, for he was not promiscuous. But he suddenly realised that he felt very different inside, as if the past three weeks had completely altered his general attitude towards life. He had faced death daily, had known the utter helplessness of waiting interminably for a direct hit on the tank, and his experiences had done something to him. No man could face such action and remain unchanged. He thought of Anna, and realised what a fool he had been not asking her to marry him on his last leave. He had reminded himself of that so many times during the tight spots they had survived. He had promised himself then that it would be different if he came out of this war alive, and now he could feel a difference. ‘How many men are waiting?’ he demanded.

  ‘Aha!’ Schultze chuckled. ‘So you are human after all, Sergeant. I was beginning to get worried about you.’

  ‘Worried about me?’

  ‘Certainly. I don’t need a tank commander who is a bit of a crank. He’s got to be human and understand a man’s needs or he could turn out to be a glory-hunting bastard who’s determined to win himself a handful of medals at the expense of his crew. Listen, there are about a dozen men over there, but I think I know how we can jump the queue. Stay here and leave it to me.’

  Kurt drew a deep breath as Schultze disappeared into the gloom. He could hear artillery pounding unseen targets in the distance, and the Luftwaffe was bombing the capital. The sky was alive with flashes and flickering fire, and there was a dull red glow over the doomed city.

  Schultze’s voice suddenly echoed through the night, urgent and warning. ‘Achtung! Military Police! Run for it, boys!’

  Kurt was about to dive into deeper cover when he realised what Schultze was up to, and he crouched low as half a dozen anonymous figures went running recklessly through the shadows. The next moment Schultze returned, grinning widely.

  ‘Come on, Sergeant. There’s nobody around now. It’ll take them ten minutes to figure out they’ve been fooled. We’ve got the floor to ourselves so let’s dance.’

  They skirted a large woodpile and Kurt began to feel a strange reluctance overcoming him. He was filled with deeply rooted principles which could not be glossed over even by the harshest experiences, and yet he knew that if he were killed in the coming battle for Warsaw he would never have experienced the most intimate of man’s natural actions. He could feel a strange stirring in his loins, and fought in vain against it. They had been trained to believe in a healthy mind and a healthy body, but the rigours of the past weeks had taken a toll and his mental attitude had changed considerably.

  Schultze took his arm as they reached the door of the barn, and Kurt saw a woman standing in the shadows. He could make out no details, and she spoke in a high-pitched, questioning tongue which he could not understand. Schultze replied in German, which she did not understand, and the tank driver pushed some money into her ready hand. She led the way into the barn, where a lamp was turned down very low. There was movement, and another female appeared, the feeble rays from the lamp gleaming upon her semi-naked body. She asked a question sharply, and seemed to be reassured by the reply which the other woman gave.

  ‘Take your pick, Sergeant,’ Schultze said, nudging Kurt. ‘They’re mother and daughter. I’ll take the older one if you like. I’ve had more experience than you, I’ll bet, and by the looks of her, she’ll take all I’ve got and more beside. I suppose her husband is in the Army, either dead or captured, so we’ll be doing her a favour.’

  The younger woman came towards Kurt, and he set his teeth into his bottom lip, torn between two desires. There was a raging need inside him which erupted like a shell burst, and all that he had been taught by Aunt Gretel and the quiet years of upbringing on the farm could not outweigh it. The girl laughed softly, and Kurt caught his breath as she reached out to grasp his hand. It was an action which reminded him of Anna, and he found a momentary strength to resist. But it faded quickly under the stress of the moment. Schultze was already chuckling, fondling the older woman and moving off to the right, losing himself in the darkness beyond the small circle of radiance surrounding the lamp.

  The girl led Kurt towards a ladder and pushed him ahead of her to make him climb. He reached the loft, which was bulging with hay, and felt awkward and uneasy, at a loss for his next action. He knew a great deal from hearsay, but it was different when a man came face to face with reality. She joined him quickly and embraced him, throwing herself backwards into the hay and taking him with her.

  He felt the warmth of her body and experienced a painful desire to make contact with her. He groaned inaudibly and closed his eyes, reaching for her body and the unknown delights which it promised. Instinct was overpowering, and when he felt one of her hands at the fly of his black tanksuit he lost all control and consigned himself to whatever would develop.

  She was bold and experienced, of that he was certain, and Kurt ran his hands over her smooth flesh as she took hold of him. He jerked and shuddered convulsively, filled with a sudden and tremendous urgency, a culminating desire which caused him to lose all conscious thought. The darkness of the barn, the anonymity of the girl, both combined to bring him to fever pitch. He thrust against her, tentatively at first, feeling as if he were in a strait jacket which threatened to choke him. She opened her legs and pulled him between them, her hands busy, and his excitement knew no bounds. When he felt her hot, moist flesh against his organ he lunged at her with his hips.

  He did not need to be told what to do. He had lived all his life on a farm and knew the facts of life. But until now he had thought it was different for humans, that there was some mysticism about the whole affair, but he felt the strong urge of his manhood. His body was young and powerful and he abandoned himself to the desire which governed him.

  The girl cried out softly in passion and her hands clutched at him, her nails scratching the flesh around his hips. Then he settled into a rhythm and she relaxed slightly while he became lost in a strange world of urgent ecstasy. His breath caught in his throat and he grasped her with all his strength, understanding now the primeval urge that coursed through all the male animals on the farm. He had watched a cockerel and a dozen hens, seen a bull serving heifers and cows, and knew that when a man and a woman married the same thing happened. But he had expected it to
be different because love occurred between humans. Yet here he was like a boar or a ram, driving himself into a female body with all the ferocity of natural desire.

  He reached a climax, stiffening rigidly and grinding frenziedly against her while she rolled her hips and took full satisfaction from his endeavours. Sweat poured from him and he gasped as repletion emptied him of desire and passion. Sagging against her, he relaxed and lay motionless for a timeless period, and some of the horror which had accumulated in him during the past weeks seemed to have eroded itself from his mind, washed away by the tremendous impact of his first experience of sex.

  ‘Aren’t you finished yet, Sergeant?’ Schultze’s voice came floating up to the loft from the foot of the ladder. ‘There’s another queue outside and it isn’t fair to deprive the rest of the boys of their fun. There’ll be other women for you, I promise.’

  Kurt dragged himself from the girl’s embrace. His knees trembled as he descended the ladder, and he could not look Schultze in the eyes. The big Berliner chuckled and led the way outside, and already there was another soldier waiting to take Kurt’s place. They went out into the night and walked back to the tank.

  ‘Well?’ Schultze demanded. ‘Aren’t you glad you came along with me now? I don’t know about you, but after that little incident I can face the rest of this war without a second thought. And I got some eggs.’

  Kurt made no reply. He felt drained of all emotion except shame, and it burned within him. He suddenly hated himself for what he had done, and when he thought over what he had done he wondered how he could ever face Anna again.

  They returned to the tank and Kurt slipped into his blankets. He tried to sleep but the vivid impressions of sex blotted out his tiredness and refused to let him rest. So that was what it was like! He had taken his first girl and the experience was too fresh in his mind for him to analyse it. He was still torn by guilt and shame when he fell asleep, but he knew nothing more until Schultze shook him awake and he looked up quickly to find the driver bending over him with the usual cup of coffee in his hand.