Sexy Suit: A Cocky Hero Club Novel

by Croix, J. H.

  “I know,” I said slowly. “The DNA test said that Colin and I are a ninety-nine percent match. Do you happen to know who that man is, or was?”

  Hazel nodded.

  “Did he know?” was my next question

  Hazel nodded and swallowed, the sound audible in the room. “I think so. Your mother made him stay away, and so he did. Your father threatened to ruin him. He passed away the same year your mother died.”

  I sat there and absorbed this information. The shockwave of learning my father wasn’t my father had been an immense relief. But I didn’t know what to think of my mother’s role in not letting me know my true father.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Addie

  I watched as Barnable chased the tennis ball I’d just thrown. He came bounding back, his ears bouncing up and down as he stopped in front of me and dropped the ball at my feet.

  “One more,” I said as I lifted the ball and tossed it again. When he reliably returned, I got a disappointed look after I tucked the tennis ball into my jacket pocket and clipped his leash on.

  “Sorry, but I need to drop you off and get to the grocery store,” I explained as we walked out of the park and onto the sidewalk.

  The snow had melted, not that there’d been much to begin with, and I looked around as we walked down the sidewalk back toward Aunt Eleanor’s place. I wondered if I would ever begin considering it my own. Although it technically was, it was hard for me to think of it that way.

  Horns honked and traffic passed by as people hurried down the sidewalk. Since my job allowed me to work from home, I didn’t have to rush to get on the subway every morning. I contemplated doing so just for the experience of it. As I was looking around, I heard my name.

  Turning, I saw Soraya approaching. She was also walking a small white dog. Soraya smiled when she stopped in front of me. “Is your dog friendly?” she asked.

  “Oh yes,” I assured her. “Ridiculously so.” Barnable was already proving my point as he wagged his short tail so hard, his entire body vibrated while he touched noses with her little dog.

  Soraya gestured down to her dog. “Blackie is too. This is actually Graham’s dog, but he shares him with me now,” she offered with a grin.

  I leaned down and held out my gloved hand. After Blackie sniffed it, I stroked down his back while Soraya greeted Barnable. I straightened again. “If you ever need a dog walking partner, just let me know.”

  “Of course. Where are you headed?”

  “Back to my place. It’s just a few blocks away. After I drop off Barnable, I’m running a few errands. You?” I asked politely.

  I liked Soraya, but she intimidated me a bit. She was stunningly beautiful and had a strong presence. “Back to work for me. I’m running late as it is.”

  “I don’t think I caught what you do for work.”

  “I’m an assistant for a columnist, Ask Ida.”

  “Oh! I’ve seen that column. I love her advice.”

  Soraya winked. “Well, if you ever have a pressing issue, don’t hesitate to write in.”

  I suddenly recalled a question I’d been meaning to ask anyone familiar with New York City. “You don’t happen to have a recommendation for a tattoo artist?”

  “I do! Tig’s Tattoo and Piercing. It’s on Eighth Avenue. Tig is an old friend, and he and his wife own the place. He does great work, and you can totally trust him,” Soraya said firmly.

  “Oh great. I’ll have to check it out. I need to get a tattoo repaired,” I explained.

  “What happened?”

  I lifted my now healed hand. “When I cut my wrist, it went right through a line on a tattoo. I’d like to get it fixed somehow.”

  The sound of a phone chiming had me checking my pocket to see if it was mine. Soraya did the same and looked over. “That’s me. I’ll need to take this. Great to see you, and don’t hesitate to call if you’d like to walk together or just hang out.”

  Sexy Suit: How’s your day going?

  When my phone vibrated and I glanced down to see the text from Ryan, a smile curled my lips automatically, and a subtle flush suffused my body. I still hadn’t absorbed my night with him. I mentally shied away from it every time I began to contemplate the implications.

  The intensity and intimacy of those hours with Ryan were almost shocking. I was feeling anxious about how easily my guard had fallen away. Yet, I couldn’t help the little thrill that jolted through me at his text. I replied to him almost instantly.

  Me: My day is fine. Yours?

  Sexy Suit: I was hoping to see you for dinner tonight, but unfortunately, I have a last-minute meeting.

  Disappointment pierced me. Immediately on the heels of that was a sense of relief. I needed a little time to buttress my defenses, so I didn’t get stupid and fall for Ryan. I knew what kind of man he was, and I knew I needed to stay sensible.

  My biggest weakness had always been wishing for fairytales in love. That had likely been a reaction to watching my mother long for my emotionally unavailable and entirely absent father.

  I tapped out a reply. No worries. There will be more nights for dinner.

  Just as I tapped send, my phone rang with my mother’s name flashing on the screen. I didn’t wait to answer.

  “Hey, Mama. I’m blowing you a kiss.”

  My mother laughed softly. “Hello, dear. I’m blowing you a kiss too. How are you?”

  I didn’t know why, but I instantly sensed worry and sorrow in my mother’s voice. We’d always been close, so I didn’t hesitate to ask, “What’s wrong?”

  My mother’s sigh filtered through the phone line. “I should’ve known you could tell I was worried. Before I explain, I just want you to know I love you.”

  A sense of coldness encircled me, like the air misting out of the freezer when you opened it. “What is it, Mama?”

  “Your father died.”

  I was relieved I was already sitting down at the kitchen table. For a few seconds, I felt as if I were falling from a great height, tumbling through the air and simply hoping the landing wasn’t too brutal.

  I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Oh wow.” Sorrow crashed through me with a wave of regret following on its heels. “What happened?”

  “He had a stroke.”

  “Are you okay?”

  My mother was quiet for a moment before answering, “Obviously, I’m sad. But I’ll be okay. I said goodbye to your father in pieces over many years.”

  I knew her words to be true because I’d watched her grieve my father’s absence throughout my childhood. He treated her like a cast-off piece of clothing.

  Obviously, I wasn’t there for the start of my parents’ relationship. Rumor had it they had a passionate affair. My father came from a wealthy family, and my mother was young and beautiful. She didn’t fit in his world. Although he married her due to pressure from his family and hers when she became pregnant with me, the marriage was only on paper. My father’s presence in my life was periodic, and that was being generous. For so long, I wanted him to be there for me, but I eventually accepted he never would be.

  Because my mother came from a deeply loving and involved family, I was never short on love, or a sense of belonging. Yet, I still longed for a father. He was the reason I was so cautious about falling for anyone.

  As I sat there on the phone with my mother, listening to her worry about me while I worried about her, it occurred to me that I was as much a misfit in Ryan’s world as my mother had been in my father’s. I didn’t know what to think of that.

  “When will the funeral be?” I heard myself asking.

  “Next week. You don’t have to come.”

  “Of course I’ll be there, Mama. I can honor him in death no matter what the state of our relationship was in life. I’ll let you know my flight arrangements once they’re in place.”

  “What will you do about Barnable?”

  “I’ll find someone to take care of him,” I replied quickly, realizing I’d need to think
fast on that. The first person who came to mind was Ryan.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ryan

  The sound of Barnable’s claws clicking on the tile tugged my lips into a smile. He rounded the corner of the large island in the center of my kitchen with one of his ears perking forward when he saw me sitting at the small nook in the corner of the kitchen. I sipped my coffee and patted the side of my leg.

  As soon as he reached my side, I scratched behind his ears. “How ya doing, buddy?” I asked conversationally.

  Barnable rubbed his head against my calf and made a snuffling sound. “See, you broke in, and now you get to stay here for a few nights.”

  Barnable looked up at me before meandering over to lap water from the water bowl I’d set in the corner. When Addie called a few days ago, asking if I minded taking care of him so she could go to her father’s funeral, I hadn’t hesitated to say yes.

  If that didn’t put into context the effect she had on me, I didn’t know what did. Oh sure, I loved dogs. But I didn’t usually volunteer to dog sit, nor did I have any friends who would even think to ask me. I managed my love of dogs by being on the board of the shelter and donating heavily. I preferred to keep those details private.

  I tapped my cell phone screen open and called Hazel. She answered on the second ring. “Good morning, Ryan. Are you calling to let me know you’re going to be late?”

  There wasn’t the slightest hint of teasing in her tone, but I knew Hazel well, and I knew she was smiling on the other end of the line. I chuckled. “Actually, no. I was calling to let you know I’m bringing a dog into the office for the day.”

  There was a long beat of silence after that. “Well, this is the second time you’ve surprised me in the last few weeks. Actually, make that the third.”

  “What’s the first?” I was genuinely curious. I knew being late had been a surprise.

  “When you asked for my help with Addie and the attorney. That reminds me, our attorney asked me if he should bill us, or her. Do let me know what to tell him.”

  “Tell him to bill us.”

  “That’s what I figured, but I thought I should check,” Hazel replied smoothly. “Now, is there anything you need for your canine companion today? And where did you get a dog?”

  Hazel happened to know I loved dogs, but I was about to surprise her again. “I didn’t get a dog. I’m taking care of Addie’s dog. She needed to go out of town for a few days.”

  Once again, because I knew Hazel well, I could practically see one of her eyebrows arching up on the other end of the phone line. “Shall I get a water bowl?” she asked politely.

  “Good idea. Thank you for taking care of that.”

  Not much later, I glanced from Barnable to the bright blue knitted sweater Addie had given me when she dropped him off yesterday. “What do you think?” I asked Barnable as I leaned down and held the sweater up for his inspection.

  Barnable sniffed at it and stepped back with a suspicious look. When I placed the sweater on his back, he gave a hard shake. Out of loyalty to Addie, I tried again, even though I thought a dog sweater was ridiculous.

  Barnable shook again. “All right, we won’t do the sweater, but you have to explain if Addie finds out.”

  I convinced myself that Barnable’s tail wag indicated he agreed with me. Off we went to my office.

  I had to admit I enjoyed Barnable’s company. He was so curious as he looked around cheerfully on the walk to the office. I could’ve called my driver, but I generally preferred the walk when the weather was good. It was chilly this morning, but Barnable didn’t seem to mind it.

  I arrived to discover that Hazel—efficient as always—had gotten a water bowl, dog treats, and a dog bed. Barnable was apparently going to be spoiled everywhere he went.

  Late that afternoon, I stepped out of my office after a meeting to find Barnable happily curled up on his new bed beside Hazel‘s desk. She glanced over with a smile. “I knew Addie was good for you,” she announced.

  “I’m not even going to argue with you on that point, Hazel.”

  Hazel’s hands stilled on her keyboard, and she swiveled in her chair to face me. “It took an effort for my mouth not to fall open,” she said solemnly as she eyed me.

  I leaned over to scratch behind Barnable’s ears. “I don’t mind admitting it. I like Addie.”

  When I straightened, Hazel’s gaze searched my face carefully as a slow smile stretched across hers. “Good. It’s about time you stopped treating dating like a business.”

  I rested my hip against the edge of her desk. “Addie’s different.”

  “You’ve dated plenty of accomplished, beautiful women.”

  “Addie is quite beautiful, but that’s not why it’s hard to resist her.”

  I couldn’t believe I was being this open. Yet, somehow learning that the man who’d raised me and who was so cold and harsh—and frankly the opposite of loving—wasn’t my father had been a considerable relief. I’d always feared I might become him, and therefore found it easier not to look for more in the realm of relationships.

  Hazel studied me for another beat before nodding slowly. “I completely agree with you.”

  “Now that’s rare,” I teased.

  “Only when it comes to personal matters. I’ve always agreed with you when it came to business,” she said tartly. Her gaze sobered. “How are you doing with the news?”

  “It’s a relief,” I replied, knowing she was referring to the news about my father. “You know how I felt about the man I thought was my father. I wish my mother hadn’t made the choices she did, but I suppose it’s what she thought she had to do. What I regret most is not having a chance to know my actual father. How well did you know him?”

  “Not too well. Your father chased him off and threatened to raise all kinds of hell. He was a nice man. He was everything your father wasn’t. It was easy to see why your mother became involved with him. It was also easy to see why she kept it a secret.”

  “How did she?”

  Out of all the curiosities tumbling about in my thoughts since I’d learned the information my brother and I had always suspected, this question was foremost. Considering both my brother and I had the same father, my mother had kept that relationship a secret for a good three years. Colin was born a year before me. My father was very controlling, so my mother must’ve gone to great lengths to hide what was happening.

  As if she read my mind, Hazel replied, “Despite your father’s controlling tendencies, he wasn’t attuned to any emotion other than fear. He was a workaholic, and your mother limited that relationship entirely to work hours. Obviously, he eventually found out, and she ended it immediately and completely.”

  The regret I couldn’t have known I’d experience banged around in my heart. Strangely, the one gift my father had given me was the ability to let go. I didn’t learn it from him, but rather from the brutal reality of growing up in a home with a man like him. By the time I was a teenager, I knew quite well the bitterness that came from trying to please someone impossible to please, so I learned to let go.

  This regret was different. There was nothing to do to change the events that had taken place. Holding Hazel‘s gaze, I nodded slowly. “Knowing what my father could do, that makes sense.”

  Hazel watched me for another moment before reaching over to catch my hand, where it rested on the edge of her desk, and giving it a quick squeeze. “You never were going to be like your father, Ryan. Maybe now you can let that worry go for good.”

  I lay on the couch in my sitting room with my laptop propped on my legs. I scanned through a spreadsheet Hazel had prepared for me earlier today with comparison data on some investments. My foot moved back and forth, and I glanced down to see Barnable shifting his chin where it rested on my ankle.

  “Need something?” I asked.

  Barnable’s ears perked up. I slid my hand into my pocket and tossed him one of the treats I’d begun carrying in my pocket at all times. He caught it neatl
y in his mouth. I chuckled to myself. “I hope Addie doesn’t mind that I keep giving you treats.”

  The moment I said her name, I wondered how she was doing. My phone chimed on the coffee table beside the couch. Reaching over, I saw a text from her as if she somehow knew I’d been thinking of her. I doubted that.

  My flight leaves tomorrow in the morning. I land at JFK at 5. I wasn’t thinking when I got the tickets. It’s a terrible time to land. I’ll see you whenever I get to your place. Just let me know what time it’s ok to come by. Thank you again for watching Barnable.

  I tapped out a quick reply.

  Don’t worry about getting home from the airport. I’ll have my driver meet you. It’s rush hour in New York City. Traffic will be atrocious no matter what you do. Also, stop thanking me for taking care of Barnable. It’s my pleasure.

  I watch the dots appear and waited for her reply.

  You don’t have to pick me up, Ryan. You’ve done more than enough.

  I almost replied via text but changed my mind and tapped to call her number.

  She picked up immediately. “A phone call?” she said by way of greeting.

  “Yes. Are you okay?”

  I felt betwixt and between about what to say to Addie. She was there for her father’s funeral, and I felt like I was walking in the darkness as to the state of their relationship because she wasn’t offering up much.