by Croix, J. H.
When I stepped into the appliance store again, I walked by the refrigerator section, and a memory slammed into me. It wasn’t as if my encounter with Ryan here before had been romantic. Yet, it felt like it now. He’d patiently helped me and even made sure my new refrigerator was all properly installed before he left.
You’re an emotional wreck. You’re about to start crying in the middle of an appliance shop over a man. Now would be the time to get your shit together, Addie.
I mentally swore at my critical voice. I couldn’t stop myself from slipping my phone out of my purse and pulling up Ryan’s last text.
Addie, I’m hoping we can talk. Please.
He’d sent that text four days ago. I’d never replied. A twinge of guilt stung my heart. Despite my fears, I knew I would regret it if I didn’t at least talk to Ryan.
Before I could chicken out again and before my doubts could run roughshod over my hope, I typed out a quick reply.
Let’s talk.
As I was returning my phone to my purse, it vibrated again. Turning it over in my hand, I saw Ryan’s reply.
Where are you?
I tried to ignore that sense of hope beating on the door to the closet where I’d locked it in my heart. I was going to be reasonable and rational about this.
I’m back at the appliance store getting a new oven. Maybe we can meet for dinner?
6?
Sounds good. Where should I meet you?
My heart was making a racket inside my chest, and I was smiling like a foolish girl in the middle of a freaking appliance store. All over a man I knew I needed to be careful with even if I decided to give us a chance.
I’ll find you.
??
Ryan’s replay was confusing. When he didn’t respond again quickly, I shrugged to myself and put my phone away. I was here for a reason, and it certainly wasn’t to stand there and stare at my phone wondering when Ryan might explain his nonsensical answer.
I headed to the oven section. Just like with the refrigerator, I felt utterly lost with all of the options and wondered if I should just get the same brand as I had for my refrigerator. Surely, if Ryan thought that was a good brand, they probably made good ovens too. Right?
As I was leaning forward to look inside one of the models on the floor, the hairs on the back of my neck stood, and I knew Ryan was there. I straightened, closing the oven slowly, and turned around to find him approaching.
My heart galloped like a horse at the start of a race, and I soaked in the sight of him. Sweet baby Jesus. It just was not fair for him to be so handsome. His dark hair was rumpled as if he’d run a hand through it a few too many times. He walked with easy confidence, and my eyes ate up the way he filled out his suit.
He stopped right in front of me, and I curled my hand more tightly around the handle on the oven door. I needed something to help hold me up.
“Is this what you meant when you said you’d find me?”
Ryan nodded, a smile teasing at the corners of his lips.
“Are we not having dinner?”
“I was hoping I could have the whole afternoon with you and then dinner.”
My eyes widened, and my heart kept on running its race.
“I have a lot to say,” he offered, his eyes searching my face.
“Oh?”
I felt as if I were flailing around inside. Trixie’s comments had nudged my guard back down, and I couldn’t quite manage to keep up my steely distance.
Ryan closed the distance between us, maybe all of three feet. He looked downright delicious in his suit. It was navy and deepened the blue of his glacial eyes. He looked tired, and my heart squeezed.
“Here’s the thing,” he began, “I think I love you. I know you probably have a long list of reasons why it might not be worth giving me a chance, but I thought maybe you could give me a chance to convince you it’s worth it.”
My heart felt as if it tripped and fell. That was me, stumbling and falling like a foolish girl. He thought he loved me?
I swallowed and tried to quell the clamor of joy with its little footsteps pounding as it broke down the door inside my heart. “What?”
Oh wow, I was so not cool, calm, and collected.
“I love you.” His words came out stronger this time, the unguarded look in his eyes nearly undoing me and weakening my knees.
Ryan erased what little distance was left between us and wrapped me in his arms. I could feel the beat of his heart against my ear when I tucked my head into the crock of his neck.
He leaned his head beside mine, and I could feel his eyelashes brush against my cheek. “I thought you said you think you love me,” I murmured.
Hooray for me. I managed to string more than one word together.
“Well, I’ve never been in love, so I wasn’t totally sure. If it means I think about you whenever you’re not with me, and I worry about you all the time, and I miss you so much it hurts, well then, I’m pretty sure that might be love. Or so I hear.”
Leaning my head back, I watched as Ryan’s eyes opened, those dark lashes nearly curling to touch his cheeks. “Oh God, if I’m going to be in love with you, I have to deal with how ridiculously handsome you are.”
Ryan’s mouth hitched up at one corner. It felt as if his gaze was a physical caress, and little earthquakes followed every resounding beat of my heart. It was all emotion with Ryan, and it terrified me. I didn’t feel as if I could control it and corral it to my whims and wishes.
“I suppose I have to point out the obvious,” he said, a chuckle rumbling in his chest.
“What’s obvious?” My smile was so wide my cheeks almost ached from it.
“In case you missed it, you’re quite beautiful. Stunning, really. Trust me when I tell you that when I’m in a room with you, you’re the one who stands out.
His words spun streamers around my heart, each one cinching a little tighter than the last. With my heart in my throat, and joy and hope throwing glitter in the air, I stared back at him.
“Come on now. No need to overdo it.”
Ryan chuckled again. He brushed my hair away from my cheek. “I’m not trying to flatter you. One of the things I love about you is you don’t focus too much on appearances. That’s probably why you never noticed just how fucking beautiful you are.”
“Oh.” I tried to take a breath, but I only got a little sip of air. It was hard to think with the way my heartbeat echoed through my body.
Emotion could be a noisy thing in a body, or so I was discovering. I’d completely forgotten where we were until a voice intruded. “Excuse me, can I help you?”
Looking to my side, I found a rather cheerful store employee. She had a broad smile on her face and was looking curiously between Ryan and me.
“Oh, um,” I began, giving my head a shake because I was too flustered to think clearly. “I’m here to get an oven.” I looked up at Ryan. “What should I get?”
He held my eyes through several beats of my heart, and heat spread like little licks of fire over my skin.
“Am I interrupting something?” the young woman asked as if that wasn’t obvious.
Ryan looked toward her. “You are, but we do need to get an oven. Give us a minute.”
“Okay,” she chirped, giving us a cheerful wave as she turned and walked briskly over to answer a ringing phone in the circular desk situated in the center of the section.
“Do you trust me to pick out your oven?” he asked.
“Absolutely. I love my refrigerator, and I have all the faith that I’ll love whatever oven you pick out. It better be gas or propane though. I like to cook, and I can’t deal with an electric stove,” I added pointedly.
“Understood. I just need one thing first.”
“What?”
“A kiss.”
I was smiling when his lips met mine.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ryan
I considered myself as a man who thought through every contingency. I usually was. Except,
apparently, when it came to Addie.
We’d ordered her stove and arranged for it to be delivered. Small problem. I needed her, and I honestly couldn’t wait. With my emotions right at the surface, and a desire that ran so deep and so fiercely for her spinning into the current of need rushing through me, well, I was near frantic by the time we got back to her place.
Unfortunately, the delivery guy had texted me to tell me they would be there within twenty minutes. I needed more than twenty minutes. Lots more.
With Addie’s hand warm in mind as we stepped through her front door, I was wrestling hard to slay my lust for her into some sort of submission.
The sound of the door shutting behind us when Addie closed it was like the lash of a whip in the air. I was attuned to every one of my senses, all of them hyper-aware and focused on Addie. Each sensation, no matter how mundane or unrelated to her, fed into my need.
When she turned to look at me, I let myself absorb the sight of her. Her dark hair was windblown and messy. The little tiny freckles on her skin drew me closer. I needed to count them all some day.
She had little freckles scattered over her body. They were the constellations that mapped her secrets, or so I thought in my heady desire and lust.
Her cheeks were tinged with pink. She slipped out of her down jacket and hung it on the coat rack by the door. She was wearing another one of those silky blouses she seemed to have a penchant for. All I could think was I needed to unbutton it. A black fitted wool skirt covered her purple tights, and she wore those cowboy boots she seemed to love to pieces.
Before I even thought it through—because, let’s face it, I never thought anything through with Addie—I was stepping closer to her.
She squeaked. “Ryan! What are you doing?”
“I need you,” I said as I looked deep into her eyes. “Now.”
She didn’t say anything, but I knew she understood. She lifted her hand to cup my cheek, drawing my face down towards hers. Our lips brushed together, and the electricity spun around us.
The next few moments were a blur. I tore her blouse open, and my lips pressed hot, open mouthed kisses along her jaw and down her neck. I dampened the silk of her bra over her nipples and yanked her skirt up around her hips as I lifted her against me and pressed her back against the door.
She shoved my shirt up as she unzipped my fly and curled her palm around my achingly hard arousal. Even with Addie, I didn’t think I’d ever been so driven that I tore her clothes. This time I did, yanking at her tights until I heard the fabric tear and found the damp silk between her thighs. I groaned against her skin where my lips were pressed at the base of her throat when I pushed the silk out of the way and found her dripping wet core.
“Need to be inside you,” I rasped as I lifted my head. Her eyes were dark, reflecting the fierce, burning need I felt inside.
“Hurry,” she gasped.
In a fumbled rush, she shoved my slacks down just far enough that my cock bounced free. Gripping it in my palm, I didn’t even wait. The moment I felt her slick desire against my cockhead, I surged deeply, filling her instantly. She let out a rough cry, followed by a satisfied little hum. Her channel pulsed and rippled around me, a tight sheath.
I managed one breath before I drew back and sank inside her again. I couldn’t make it slow, but Addie certainly didn’t make it easy. With her legs curling around me, she arched into every pounding stroke I made into her. The little noises at the back of her throat pushed me faster and faster. The door rattled behind us while I fucked her roughly against it.
For a second, I thought I was going to lose control before she came. With no finesse whatsoever, I reached between us, pressing my thumb over her clit as I stroked into her and filled her once more.
She cried out sharply, and the sound echoed in the entryway. My release slammed through me so hard I was relieved I had the door to help me keep my balance. My palm slapped against it while I shuddered, and my release poured into her.
My head fell to the sweet curve of her neck as my breath came in ragged heaves. She smelled so good, like sugar and vanilla. The emotion was cresting inside of me, and I scrambled to gather myself as my release subsided.
When I finally lifted my head, Addie opened her eyes slowly from where her head had fallen back against the door. Through her heavy-lidded gaze, she smiled softly.
“I missed you.”
Joy, such an unfamiliar feeling for me, gave a little jump in my heart, almost like a startled animal. “I missed you so fucking much.”
At that moment, I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket and its chime rang out in the entryway.
“Fuck. I’m guessing that’s the alert I asked for.”
“Alert?”
“Yeah. When I spoke to the delivery guy, I asked him to send an alert when they were within five minutes. We should maybe get dressed.”
Addie giggled, and the sound cinched around my heart, the feeling so sweet I didn’t even know what to think of it. “We never really undressed.”
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to hers once more. “Not quite.”
After I reluctantly untangled myself from Addie and began to pull my clothes back together, I glanced over at her while she buttoned her blouse, a most unfortunate circumstance. I could use plenty of Addie disheveled and half-dressed because she was so damn sexy. “Where’s Barnable?”
“He’s with Trixie. She said she could keep him for a few hours while I took care of my appliance shopping. You can walk with me to get him. She’ll be excited to see us.”
“She will?”
Addie shimmied her hips as she tugged her skirt down over her torn tights. She smiled sheepishly when she looked back at me. “Yeah. I had a little talk with her yesterday. She gave me some advice about regret. Also, if you didn’t know it, she thinks you’re the bee’s knees.”
We put ourselves back together, just in time for the doorbell minutes later.
After Addie’s oven was installed that evening, I took her out for dinner just as I’d planned. While we waited for our food to arrive, I enjoyed the sight of Addie. She’d put her hair up in some kind of complicated knot with loose tendrils dangling to frame her face. With silver hoop earrings that swung when she moved, I wanted to lean over and press kisses down the slender column of her neck.
She looked over at me. “What?” I said when I saw the somber look in her eyes.
“Oh, did I tell you I found someone to fix this?” she asked, lifting her hand.
My eyes caught on her wrist. “Oh right. Soraya mentioned something about that.”
“From when I tried to break in,” she said with a sly grin. “See, I’ll get a flower over the broken spot.” She slid her hand across the table. I studied the jagged line left behind by the scar that broke the winding vine around her wrist.
Lifting my hand, I traced my finger over the scars. “You can’t forget me even if you want to,” I teased.
“I couldn’t,” she said, her voice husky and solemn.
My heart kicked up a few notches.
As I was basking in the moment, we were interrupted by Marla. Of all people. I hadn’t seen her come in the restaurant, so I didn’t know if she was alone or not. She stopped by our table, glancing between us before her eyes settled on mine.
The look in her gaze was cold and annoyed. “Well, hello, Ryan,” Marla said sharply.
For a second, I was beyond annoyed, but I decided to simply be honest. “Hello, Marla. I need to apologize.”
Addie looked puzzled, but I hoped she would wait for a minute.
Marla’s eyes widened. “Oh? Whatever for?” Marla was nothing if not polite.
I gestured towards Addie, reaching for Addie’s hand where it sat on the table and giving it a squeeze as I brushed my thumb back and forth across her knuckles. “This is Addie.” It was clear Marla was confused, but she cast a tight smile in Addie’s direction before looking back to me. “I need to apologize because I lied to you on the phone the last ti
me we spoke.”
“You did?”
“I did. It’s not that I don’t do romance, or that I’m not interested in marriage. It’s that I’m in love with Addie.” I looked at Addie when I spoke. My heart lurched in my chest when I heard the soft gasp from her lips, and her fingers tightened in mine.
I looked back toward Marla. I was prepared to see anger in her eyes, but her expression was bemused. “Wow, Ryan Blake, the eternal bachelor, has finally fallen.” She smiled wistfully and glanced toward Addie. “I’m happy for both of you. Love is a rare thing indeed. With the way you two look at each other, you might want to be careful in public.” Her eyes were laughing when she looked back in my direction. “Good for you, Ryan. I always knew you were a good man.” With that, she inclined her head.
“I hope you find the same,” I added just before she turned away.
Marla shrugged. “Thank you. I’ll hope for the best.”
After she departed, I looked back toward Addie. “Really? You love me?”
“Absolutely. I already told you earlier. I’m kind of an idiot. To sum it up, you can thank Graham Morgan and Ask Ida for knocking some sense into me.”
Addie grinned. “I’ll do that.” She paused, her eyes searching mine as her grin faded. “I need to explain something,” she began.
“You don’t have to explain anything.”
“I need to for me. Obviously, my dad passing away brought some things up. The thing was, he was never there for me in any way other than his bank account. Don’t get me wrong, I never went without, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. But my mother spent years wishing for more. He was just a rich businessman who never intended to be serious, much less have a child. I was truly an accident. My mother eventually came to her senses, but I promised myself I would never be stupid like that. Although I know you’re nothing like my father now that I know you, on the surface, there were some similarities. Then, I heard that phone call…” She shrugged, her cheeks turning pink. “If I didn’t care so much, it wouldn’t have mattered. I was already afraid I was falling for you, and I kind of panicked.”