Before You Go

by St. James, Meredith

  "Not true at all," I confirmed. "That call she overheard was just to remind me I needed to make a decision. I hadn't made a decision either way."

  "But you've made one now?" Derek asked.

  I nodded carefully. "I needed to give them my answer at the end of the month. I'd rather not talk about that right now, though. What the hell was Laurel thinking? Why didn't she just ask me about it?"

  "She just assumed you didn't bring it up because you didn't want her to know."

  "I didn't bring it up because she seemed upset that we slept together!" I responded defensively.

  Ivy held her hands out helplessly. "I'm just telling you. That's how she's looking at this whole mess. After last time…" She trailed off, and I kept quiet since I wasn't sure how much Ivy actually knew. "Do you love her?"

  "Of course I love her."

  It seemed ridiculous that anyone would even have to ask. For weeks, I played assistant to her while she planned the fundraiser just so there would be an excuse for us to spend time together. It wasn't like I needed anything extra to do in my free time, but I did cherish all the time I got to spend with her under the guise of helping on Jocelyn's behalf. I really needed to remember to thank my sister for being so meddlesome. Hell, I probably needed to thank Drew, too. No doubt his big mouth had given Joc a head's up about Laurel before we ever made it to that dinner with her.

  "You probably should tell her," Derek suggested, though he winced when he said it. It wasn't hard to tell that Derek felt something for Laurel. That made it that much more notable that he was there trying to help fix things between her and I, despite how he clearly felt about it.

  "She hasn't exactly been easy to get ahold of." At least she wasn't blocking my number again. Not yet, anyway.

  Ivy smiled sympathetically. "She's throwing herself into the art gallery so she can avoid dealing with this whole situation." She stood up and signaled for Derek to do the same. "We believe in you, though. You'll figure it out.

  They started trailing towards the door. "Wait," I protested, "aren't you going to help me?"

  "Oh, no." Ivy waved her hands aimlessly in the air in front of her. "This was the extent of me getting involved. That way if it all crashes and burns I can claim innocence in the whole matter."

  "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."

  They stepped out the door. "Good luck!" Ivy chirped just before the door slammed shut between us.

  I turned back to the living room. Drew, who'd stayed mostly silent, looked at me warily. "I didn't know you were thinking of leaving. What does that mean for me?"

  "I would never leave you without somewhere to go," I reassured him.

  It wasn't much of an answer, but it seemed like enough for him. He nodded gratefully.

  "I think I'm gonna go to bed."

  "Sure. But don't think we're not gonna talk tomorrow about you being in a bar." I leveled him with a warning look when he seemed like he might protest.

  He swallowed hard and nodded again. "Okay. Goodnight."

  As Drew went to bed, I wandered outside to the front porch. Taking in a deep breath of the night air, I tried to think about what came next. There was no way Laurel would make it easy for me to track her down. Besides that, I hated the thought of getting in her way while she would be busy doing the last minute preparations for her fundraiser. I knew how important it was to her, which meant I needed to take that into consideration.

  I wanted to spend a whole lifetime with Laurel, so what was another week in the grand scheme of things? I'd planned a surprise for her for the night of the fundraiser. I would fix things then.

  Laurel

  The food—perfect.

  The music—perfect.

  The art—unbelievably perfect.

  My mood—dismal.

  Razor Hall was swamped with prospective students, highly regarded artists, and people with more money than good sense. We managed to cultivate one of the biggest fundraisers Kelley University would likely ever host. It helped that in the weeks leading up to the event, many of the people Issac and I met with during planning stormed social media to raise awareness for us.

  It became the event of the season, and yet I couldn't shake the melancholy feeling that plagued me as I made my rounds.

  "There you are." Derek appeared beside me. "Jocelyn Gilmore is looking for you."

  I winced. "Yeah, I've sort of been avoiding her all night," I admitted.

  "What? Why? She's a major part of why we have such a big crowd tonight." He stared at me, brows turned down, and a lightbulb moment seemed to sweep over him. "Ah. You're worried she's gonna ask about Mr. Naughty Professor, aren't you?"

  Ivy, never one to be left out, joined us. Of course she heard Derek's comment. "Naughty Professor? Oh, did the two of you make-up? Where is he?" She strained her neck to look around the lobby as if Isaac might materialize.

  "Stop. He's not here, and we didn't make-up. He's leaving. I'm not. That's that, so I wish you all would just stop bringing it up." My voice wavered near the end.

  "What do you mean he's leaving?"

  A thick layer of dread encompassed me as I turned to find Jocelyn now joining our conversation as well. Concern was written all over her face as she waited for an answer.

  "He got a job somewhere else." I stared at her chin to keep from looking her in the eyes. I felt incredibly guilty being the one to break the news.

  Her frown deepened "Where?"

  "I'm not sure actually," I admitted.

  "I'm confused," Jocelyn said. Her eyebrows were knit together in a clear sign of her frustration.

  "Aren't we all?" Ivy muttered.

  Three sets of eyes stared at me patiently, waiting for some sort of explanation that would curb their curiosity. There was nothing I could think of to offer them. All I had were questions of my own. Only, I was too afraid to actually face Isaac and ask them. How was I supposed to give anyone else answers when I couldn't even seek them for myself?

  Coward.

  "He really isn't here?" Jocelyn asked. Her confused stare was leveled straight at me. She seemed genuinely perplexed.

  I shook my head and offered a slight shrug.

  Jocelyn asked for Isaac to help with the event and I honored that. What more did she want? His recent silence spoke volumes about his decision. A clean break—just like the last time.

  I glanced at the trio surrounding me. "I really should go check in with the dean and make sure everything in the silent auction room is running smoothly. I'll check in with you all a little later."

  All three of them started to protest, but I spun and managed to get quickly swallowed up by the crowd. I clawed at the high collar of my sleeveless black dress. Suddenly, I didn't feel like I could get enough air. I tried to be discreet about my soft, anxious gasps as I passed by a group of donors. They all smiled, recognizing me from the introductory speech I made. I nodded as politely as possible but kept moving.

  Someone caught my eye just as I turned the corner towards the large classroom where the silent auction was set-up. "Hey. Zack, right?"

  "Yeah." He straightened up and grinned, seeming pleased that I remembered him.

  Isaac was the one that bonded with the high school senior, but I could never forget his name after seeing his incredible artwork. Several of his pieces were displayed for the gallery. There was a good chance he would sell all of them. I was really glad, too, because whatever money he made from sales would go into a scholarship fund that I knew he needed.

  "Did you know Mellie Ross is here?" He was really quiet, like he didn't want anyone to hear his excited words.

  "I did, yeah." I glanced over my shoulder to see Mellie only a few feet away from us. She was chatting animatedly with her manager. "Do you want me to introduce you?"

  His face turned bright red as he shook his head adamantly.

  "Are you sure?"

  He switched to a nod. "Maybe later. Right now, you have somewhere more important to be."

  I tilted my head, unsure what
he meant be that. "She's just right there. I don't have to leave the event or anything."

  "No, actually you do. Not for that, though." His arm rose as he pointed at something behind me.

  The world seemed to still around me as I turned to find Isaac waiting patiently for me. My eyes trailed over his black suit. It wasn't so different from what other men were wearing, but he looked so good that I felt like I was seeing a man in a suit for the first time. He held a small bunch of flowers—small blue forget-me-nots—in one hand, the other tucked in his pocket. His expression was humbled, his eyes full of regret.

  I took my first real breath in weeks.

  My head was spinning. There was no doubt in my mind why Isaac was there. We'd found our way back to each other once, was it possible to do it again? The first time around, I really believed that even if I was leaving Kelley, it didn't mean I was leaving Isaac. Was it possible he was finally realizing that wasn't such a foreign concept?

  Isaac stepped closer. "I see the wheels turning in your head. If you'd like to stop overthinking things for a second, there's something I'd like to show you."

  "Right now?" I asked, glancing around nervously at the event still carrying on around us.

  He took my arm, offered a quick nod to Zack, and turned me in the direction of the back of the building. "Things will be okay in here without you for a few minutes. I promise this won't take long."

  "Okay," I agreed.

  Curious faces greeted us as we worked our way through the crowded hallway. I didn't miss the smirk on Henrik Wade's face when we passed him, either. I forced myself not to worry about it. Caring too much about what other people thought had never done me any favors.

  Isaac paused just before we reached the back door of the building, grimacing as he turned to me. "You wouldn't happen to have a jacket, would you?" I shook my head. "Here, take mine."

  He shrugged out of his suit jacket, draping it around my shoulders as if we were in a scene from a classic movie. I opened my mouth to thank him, but he was already pulling me out the door into the chilled October evening.

  A soft gasp escaped me.

  "How…?" I clutched at my chest.

  Isaac prodded me closer to the center of the courtyard where string lights hung, illuminating a life-sized sculpture. I chanced to reach out and touch the smooth material. I wasn't artsy enough to pinpoint exactly what it was, but it shone like some sort of metal.

  "It's us, isn't it?" I asked.

  His hand squeezed tighter around mine. "From that night we went into the city. Mellie got the gallery to pull security footage from that night so that she could recreate this moment for us."

  I shook my head, totally bewildered by what he was saying. I remembered the moment preserved by the sculpture. We'd just walked into the gallery together. I was leaning towards him to whisper into his ear as a grin spread all the way across his face as he listened. Our hands were still joined on one side, his other hand reaching to rest on my back as I leaned close. Mellie had nailed the details, all the way down to our shoes.

  "I don't understand. Why did she do this?"

  Isaac pulled me close and placed a soft kiss on the top of my head. I wanted to pull away, impatience and confusion wearing my nerves thin. Instead, I relaxed against him.

  "That day when we got back I got the idea to see if I could commission a painting from her. I thought it would make a nice gift for you at your event tonight. Somehow she managed to talk me into this, instead. I never imagined it would turn out like this." We both turned our heads to admire it once more. "This is actually why I was late coming in. It was a real shit show unloading this from the truck. I'm sure Drew is off somewhere bitching about having to help me with it," he joked.

  I smiled at first, but my lips quickly turned down."Why didn't you tell me you're leaving?"

  Isaac shifted from one foot to the other. His arms stayed around me even as he blew out a deep breath. My heart was beating double-time in my chest. I couldn't stop sneaking glances at the sculpture of us, an artistic miracle immortalizing one of the best nights we'd ever shared.

  "The call you overheard," Isaac finally started to explain, "was a woman from CMSU in Florida trying to talk me into giving them a final decision. I really hadn't decided yet at that point. I did want to talk to you that day about the whole thing, but you were acting so weird with me on the way home. I didn't want to press my luck when everything suddenly seemed so precarious."

  The guilt from weeks of avoiding him sank in. Hindsight was 20/20; I realized that hiding out was a childish thing to do. I was relieved he wasn't calling me out for that.

  "You said you hadn't decided yet," I realized. "Does that mean you've decided now?"

  "Yeah." I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "I took the job." He tilted his head further down to more fully look me in the eyes. He held me so tightly that we were practically fused together. "There's a good residential neighborhood just south of there. A couple big cities within a reasonable commuting distance, too. There are options there."

  My brows furrowed. "Why would you need—" It took me a second but the realization dawned on me. "Me? You mean there are options for me?"

  Isaac gestured at Razor Hall looming behind us. "You've done a really great job here. But this job was always meant to be temporary, right?"

  "Yeah," I answered tentatively.

  "I start my new position in January. That's less than five months until your contract here ends. I was thinking it wouldn't be so bad if we took turns visiting each other for a few months—until you could join me permanently."

  I could feel worry lines creasing my forehead as it scrunched anxiously. "What if you change your mind?"

  "I've already made that mistake one time too many." He kissed my forehead gently. "When you were getting ready to graduate, I was imagining you with the world at your feet and so many choices coming your way. I kept thinking the best thing was to let you go and do what you needed to do."

  "And now?"

  He planted a second kiss on my forehead, smoothing away the lines for me. "Now, I'm still imagining you with the world at your feet and lots of choices coming your way. Only this time, I'm picturing us facing that together. I don't want to picture your future without me in it, Laurel."

  "I don't either," I admitted softly.

  "Then please say you'll at least think about it."

  I said a silent thank you to Ivy in my head for all the crazy things she'd forced me into since we became friends. There were so many things I wanted to say no to, but she taught me not to be so scared of saying yes. With that on my mind, it didn't feel so scary to follow my heart, either.

  "This is crazy." I pulled back slightly as I laughed. "But yeah, of course I want to be where you are."

  His eyes lit up. "Are you serious?"

  "Yes, I'm serious." I took a deep breath and forced out the scariest—but most true—thing I'd ever said. "I love you."

  "Damn, I never thought I'd hear those words." He swooped in to press a hard kiss against my mouth. "I love you, too."

  Isaac

  Eight months later…

  "But I have such fond memories of this desk."

  I shook my head at Laurel's exaggerated pout. She was perched on the center of the oversized mahogany desk, her fingers caressing it in a way that I found intimately familiar. The rest of the office was already packed away in boxes, most of which I'd taken with me during my initial move. My plan was to get rid of the desk in favor of something more economical, but Laurel disagreed.

  Her legs parted slowly in a way I knew wasn't accidental. "Think of the memories we've made here," she pressed.

  Memories, indeed. I didn't really consider our relationship too taboo considering we never slept together until long after she'd been my student, but that didn't stop us from playing out many a student/teacher fantasy in the sanctity of my old home office.

  "Okay, the desk can go," I acquiesced with a groan. Already, I could imagine the bitching
our friends and family would do when they realized we would be moving the three-hundred-pound desk onto the moving truck instead of having it picked up for donation like originally planned.

  Laurel leaned forward to offer me a quick kiss. "I knew you'd give in." She smirked as I chuckled. We both knew I rarely told her no.

  Happy wife, happy life.

  "I swear to god, if the two of you are having sex in here…" Ivy screeched loudly. I looked around to find the woman standing in the doorway with her hands slapped over her eyes. It wouldn't have been the first time she accidentally walked in on us.

  "All clear," Laurel reassured her.

  Ivy's hands dropped. Her eyes narrowed almost immediately at Laurel's spot on the desk. "Fuck. You convinced him to take that, didn't you?"

  Laurel shrugged sheepishly. "It's a beautiful piece of furniture."

  "Right." Ivy snorted. "I'm sure that's the reason you're taking it." She turned her glare on me. "I came up here to let you know your sister is here."

  I grimaced at the same time Laurel winced. "How mad is she?" I asked.

  "Pretty fucking mad!" Jocelyn announced herself, storming into the room. "How dare you tell me you got married in an email. You know I never check my email if I can help it!"

  Laurel was quick to bury her face in my chest as Jocelyn stared daggers in my direction. She loved Laurel, so of course all of her scorn was directed towards me. For months, Jocelyn had been hinting that I should propose. It was no surprise that she wasn't pleased to find out that step got skipped altogether, especially considering she only found out after the fact.

  "I get it, you all aren't big wedding people or whatever. But how dare you do something crazy like elope and not even invite me," she whined.

  Ivy carefully stepped around my emotional sister so she could escape the room. She was probably worried she might catch some of the anger if my sister realized she was there the day we went to the courthouse.

  Laurel took a deep breath and slid off the desk so she could face my sister. "It was my fault," she admitted. I squeezed her by the elbow, trying to cut her off but she shook her head. "You were still in Europe and I didn't want to wait long enough for you to get a flight home. We already waited so long and—"