Have a Nice Night

by James Hadley Chase

  Then at the far end of the street he saw Ted, the newspaper delivery boy, approaching, tossing the papers onto people's porches. Lepski ran towards him.

  'Hi, Ted!' he bawled.

  The boy, thin, tall with a perpetually open mouth, gaped, then waved and came towards Lepski, peddling his bike furiously. Lepski knew this boy was not only simple-minded, but more than retarded. He knew this boy worshipped him. Ted had told him his greatest ambition was to be as fine a cop as Lepski. Although flattered, Lepski decided that Ted's ambition was geared a lot too high.

  'Hi, Mr. Lepski,' Ted said, coming to rest by Lepski's side. 'How's crime?'

  Lepski knew how to get the best out of Ted. He must not fluster him.

  'Well, you know, Ted, they come and they go.'

  Ted considered this remark thoughtfully, then he nodded.

  'You're dead right, Mr. Lepski. They sure come and they sure go.'

  He eyed the gun on Lepski's hip. 'You ever shoot anyone with that rod, Mr. Lepski?'

  'Look, Ted, did you see a woman, dressed in black coming your way?'

  'I bet you have shot all kinds of thugs with that gun,' Ted said wistfully. 'One of these days, I'm going to be a cop and I'll shoot thugs too.'

  Lepski contained his impatience with an effort.

  'Sure, Ted, but did you see a woman, dressed in black on the street just now?'

  The boy dragged his eyes away from Lepski's gun.

  'A woman?' he asked.

  Lepski shuffled his feet. 'A woman in black.'

  'Why sure, Mr. Lepski. I saw her.'

  'Where did she go?'

  'Go?'

  'That's right,' Lepski said, his blood pressure rising. 'Which way did she go?'

  'Why I guess she went into the church.'

  The boy thought, then shrugged. 'You ever know anyone who would run to church? My ma has to drag me to church.'

  At the far end of the street was the Church of St. Mary. As Lepski began to run towards it a patrol car arrived. Two uniformed men spilled out while Ted stared, fascinated.

  'The church!' Lepski snapped. 'Watch it! She's got a gun!'

  Leading the way, Lepski walked down the long street, followed by the two cops who had drawn their guns. They were immediately noticed by the neighbors who saw them from their windows, and people came out of their houses as another patrol car arrived. Then a police car came hurtling down the street to pull up with a squeal of burning tyres and Max Jacoby jumped out with two other plain-clothes detectives.

  Lepski, now the center of all eyes, paused. Ever since he had lived on this street, he had heard his neighbors say to Carroll that he was the best and most efficient detective on the force. Now was the time to hammer that praise home!

  'What the hell's going on?' Jacoby demanded.

  'Anita Certes,' Lepski said. 'She's out of her mind. She tried to kill me, but I guess the gun was loaded with blanks. She's in the church.'

  'Well, okay, let's go get her,' Jacoby said, pulling his gun.

  The group of men, guns in hand, converged on the church. The doors stood open. From the church came the smell of incense.

  Lepski, with Jacoby close behind him, moved cautiously into the church, then paused. At the far end of the aisle of the church were brightly burning candles. The altar was lit by flickering candle flames.

  Lepski moved forward, then stopped. Lying before the altar, he could see the Cuban woman. Blood was trickling down the steps of the altar. The haft of a knife grew out of her heart.

  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  Wilbur Warrenton came slowly awake. He stared around the deluxe living room, shook his head, then snapped upright. He looked at his wife by his side. She too was moving. He touched her arm gently, and her eyes opened. They looked at each other.

  'What happened?' Maria asked. 'Have they gone?'

  He looked around the living room. 'Yes, I think they have gone.'

  She sat up as Wilbur hauled himself unsteadily to his feet.

  'We must have been drugged.'

  'Drugged?' Maria stared at him. 'How could we have been drugged?'

  'What other explanation is there? Anyway, they have gone. There's no one here.'

  'It's like a nightmare.' Maria stroked her throat, then she let out a faint scream.

  'Oh my God! The bastards have taken my diamonds!'

  She jumped to her feet and would have fallen if Wilbur hadn't steadied her.

  'My lovely diamonds! They've gone!'

  'Maria!' Wilbur said sharply. 'Don't get hysterical. Sit down!'

  'My diamonds! What will father say? They cost ten million dollars! The bastards! I've lost my diamonds!' Maria's voice rose to a shrill screech.

  'You haven't lost them,' Wilbur said. 'Stop this nonsense!'

  Maria flared at him. 'How dare you talk like that to me!'

  'You have not lost your diamonds,' Wilbur said, quietly and firmly.

  They stared at each other, then Maria said unsteadily, 'Then where are they?'

  'Where else? In the safe.'

  'Am I crazy or are you? How can they be in the safe?'

  'Maria, you were wearing the replicas. I promised your father that if you insisted on wearing the diamonds out of security, I was to give you the replicas to wear.'

  'Replicas! I don't know what you are talking about!'

  'When your father gave you the diamonds, he took me aside and gave me replicas which he had had made in Hong Kong. There, he told me, experts can convert glass into deceptive looking diamonds. The collar, the earrings and the bracelets those thugs stole are made of glass.'

  'God! I can't believe it!'

  Wilbur went to the hidden safe, opened it and took out the leather case. He opened it and handed it to Maria who stared down at her beautiful diamonds, flashing in the sunlight.

  'Oh, darling!' She put down the case, then rushed to Wilbur and hugged him. 'Thank you! Forgive me for being such a bitch! I know I am. Please help me not to be.'

  Wilbur kissed her.

  'Go and lie down. I have to get the police up here.'

  'Lie down? I want champagne and caviar sandwiches! We must celebrate!'

  Maria whirled around. 'Look at the sun! Look at the sky!'

  Wilbur gave a resigned shrug. He went over to the telephone to call the police. He smiled as he watched Maria walk out onto the terrace, where the ultimate horror of two mutilated men was there to greet her.

  THE END