In Your Heart

by Micalea Smeltzer

  Not just as a lover.

  But as my best friend too.

  “I DIDN’T EVEN drink that much and I’ve already thrown up three times this morning.” Emma groaned beside me, a book propped on her knees. For now at least, she seemed to have forgotten her irritation with me. “I think this is my first official hangover, though. Does that make me an adult now?” She laughed.

  I rolled over onto my stomach so that the sun could tan my back. “You barely had enough to drink to have a real hangover, so no you have not been inducted into adulthood. Secondly, if you’re so hung over how are you reading?”

  She sighed, turning the page. “It doesn’t make me as nauseous as looking at the ocean does.” She lowered her book and eyed the ocean, as if testing herself. She gagged and mumbled, “No,” before returning to her book.

  I pillowed my head on my arms and closed my eyes. It was our last day at the beach. Tomorrow morning we were flying home, and I knew everything was going to change once we got there. So to say I felt a little melancholy at the thought of leaving was the understatement of the century. I was downright sick and it had nothing to do with the two drinks I had last night.

  “Hey, I brought you some water,” Maddox said, sinking down into the sand beside Emma.

  “I love you.” She took the bottle of water from him and gulped it greedily.

  “Here’s one for you too.”

  I lifted my head to see that he was leaning around Emma and offering me a bottle.

  “Oh, thanks.” I took it. The cool water soothed my dry throat.

  Instead of lying back down I stayed sitting, watching Hayes and Ezra fight over a soccer ball down on the beach.

  I couldn’t help smiling at the way they bickered over the ball, pushing each other out of the way—but all the while laughing.

  I stood up and slipped my flip-flops on.

  “Where are you going?” Emma asked.

  “To play.”

  I grinned and ran towards the guys. They didn’t see me coming and I jumped on Ezra’s back. He grunted from the surprise attack, but quickly held the back of my knees so I didn’t fall.

  I knew Emma would probably try to make something out of this, but I’d been doing things like this with Ezra long before we started having sex, because he was one of my best friends. I’d lost sight of that fact the last few weeks. I knew when our arrangement came to an end it might also destroy our friendship, so selfishly—even if it was only for right now—I wanted to forget all about the sex and remember why it was that we were friends to begin with.

  “How do you expect me to play with you hanging off my back?” He jested, glancing over his shoulder with a half smile.

  “I don’t. I wanted Hayes to beat you.”

  Hayes grinned and pointed a finger at me, while kicking the ball back and forth. “That’s my girl!”

  Ezra let out a growl and I poked him in the ribs so he would stop.

  “Actually,” I dropped off Ezra’s back, “I wanted to join you.”

  “Sure,” Hayes nodded. “As long as you’re okay with losing.”

  I grinned widely. “I never lose.”

  Before he could blink I stole the ball from him and started running up the beach, kicking the ball as I went.

  “Get her!” I heard Hayes bellow, which only made me laugh harder.

  I made it a few more feet when an arm collided with my middle and I was jerked against a chest.

  I kicked my legs wildly as Hayes dragged me into the ocean.

  “Let me go!” I laughed, fighting against his hold.

  On the beach Ezra laughed hysterically.

  “Nope. Cheaters have to get punished.”

  I had a three second warning before he plunged me into the water. Luckily none got up my nose, but he was going to pay for that.

  Hayes was a hell of a lot taller than me, but I grabbed onto his arm and pulled, dragging him deeper into the water.

  “Westbrook, you’re like a fucking piranha.” He laughed, letting me drag him. I say letting, because we all knew he was strong enough to escape my hold.

  “I do have sharp teeth.” I flashed him a menacing smile. Well, as menacing as I could muster.

  “I’m terrified.” He pretended to shake.

  I let him go and started to swim back to shore. “By the way,” I called to him, “I’m not a piranha, I’m a siren, and you’ve just been led to your death.” I began to cackle as evilly as I could, but I knew it sounded pathetic. I didn’t care though, because this was the most fun I’d had in a long time.

  Hayes swam towards me, sweeping the longer strands of his sandy hair away from his eyes.

  “Apparently your siren buddies didn’t like me too much. I was too handsome to kill.” He joked as we stepped onto the beach once more.

  Ezra stood with his arms crossed over his bare chest. His skin had grown tan while we were here and with his dark curly hair and eyes he reminded me of a Greek god of some sort.

  “Does this mean I won?” He smiled crookedly, one foot resting on top of the soccer ball.

  “Only losers have to ask if they’ve won.” I winked at him as I adjusted my bikini top. When I looked up his eyes were zeroed in on my boobs. If Hayes noticed he said nothing.

  Clearing his throat, Ezra said, “I think I’m going to go make a sandwich. Are you guys hungry?”

  I nodded.

  “Starving.” Hayes rubbed his stomach.

  “Cool, I’ll go…uh…yeah…sandwiches.” He was still staring at my chest and apparently my boobs had magical mind jumbling powers.

  “I’ll help.” I clapped my hand on his shoulder and the gesture seemed to snap him out of his thoughts.

  Hayes headed on down the beach to where Arden and Mia were building a sandcastle with Mathias and Remy’s help. Maddox and Emma were where I left them. Emma was laughing at something he said, and with as crazy as Maddox could be there was no telling what came out of his mouth.

  I walked up to them, and Ezra paused behind me.

  “Hey, we’re going to make sandwiches for everybody. Do you guys want some?”

  “Yeah,” Maddox nodded, “and bring some diet Pepsi.” He waved an empty bottle around.

  “You got it,” I nodded. I looked at Emma and arched a brow. “Do you want something to eat?”

  She turned a bit green at the mention of food. “No. I’m good. Just more water, please.”

  I nodded. I hoped she wasn’t getting sick. I honestly didn’t think she’d drunk enough last night to feel so ill, but then again she rarely drank so maybe it just hit her hard.

  Ezra and I walked up the deck steps and into the back of the house.

  The air-conditioned space felt like heaven. I hadn’t realized I’d gotten so warm outside.

  I followed Ezra into the kitchen and he got out the meat and cheese from the refrigerator while I grabbed plates. We worked in silence as we made the sandwiches, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. The air was charged with the energy between us and I think we were both afraid that if we spoke sparks might ignite.

  It was getting harder every second to pretend there was nothing between us. At least for me. It was impossible to know what was going through his mind sometimes. Ezra could be extremely difficult to read since he internalized things. He was the person that stood in the background, carefully reading and interpreting a situation, instead of jumping right in. He liked to know all the facts and predict all the outcomes before moving forward. And maybe that’s why he refused to give into what I knew already—that we were perfect for each other—because he was scared, since he couldn’t see where it would lead.

  He was afraid of losing me forever.

  I was afraid of never getting to experience what it truly meant to be us.

  The rest of the day passed in a blur and as night fell we all gathered outside.

  I was dressed in shorts and a lightweight sweater, with a blanket wrapped around me.

  The fire pit was lit and we all sat around, roasting m
arshmallows, and telling silly stories. Mia was asleep, so luckily we didn’t have to worry about filtering ourselves.

  When my marshmallow was toasted to perfection I layered it between a graham cracker and a piece of chocolate. I took a bite and moaned. S’mores were one of my favorite things ever.

  Ezra chuckled beside me and reached out, brushing his thumb against my bottom lip. “You’ve got some marshmallow stuck.”

  He swept it away and started to put his thumb in his mouth, but instead wiped it on his jeans when he realized what he was doing.

  Across from us on the opposite side of the fire pit Emma cleared her throat and stood up so that we could all see her better.

  Eyeing the two of us, she said, “I think we should all play a game of truth or dare.”

  My body stiffened. Something told me this wasn’t going to bode well for me.

  “I don’t know…” I mumbled.

  “It’ll be fun,” she protested. “Besides, it’s our last night here and we might never be able to go on a trip with all of us ever again. Things are changing.” She looked around at all of us with a sad look. “We’re growing up and starting our own lives.” Her gaze settled on Mathias and Remy before moving on to Maddox.

  She did have a point there.

  “Okay, fine,” I agreed.

  “Yay!” She clapped her hands together and sat back down, this time propped on her knees.

  My stomach coiled with tension.

  “Can I go first?” Hayes raised his hand like we were in elementary school.

  “Sure,” Emma shrugged.

  “Cool.” He grinned, rubbing his hands together. “Who shall be my first victim?” He looked around at everyone before his eyes settled on me. “I dare you to kiss…” He paused and I expected him to say Ezra, but instead he surprised me. “Arden.”

  “Me?” She squeaked, pointing a finger at her own chest. “Why me?”

  “A little girl-on-girl action never hurt anybody.” He grinned widely.

  I laughed and shook my head. “Aren’t I supposed to get to pick truth or dare?”

  His smile grew even more. “Not the way I play. There’s dare or dare.”

  “Ooh, that makes it even better,” Emma chimed in.

  “So...”Hayes sat back, “get to it.”

  I shook my head and stood up, walking over to where Arden sat.

  “Just a quick peck, right?” She questioned.

  I shook my head. “Where’s the fun in that?”

  Her eyes widened and before she could freak out even more I took her face tenderly between my hands and sealed my lips over hers. It wasn’t a quick peck like she wanted. Instead I kissed her like I would any guy. I was never one to back down from a challenge. I swiped my tongue past her parted lips and she gasped. She surprised me when she kissed me back and behind us I heard Hayes mutter, “Fuck, that’s hot.” I threw in a little hair pulling to make it even hotter.

  When I turned around I smiled smugly at him. “Was that good enough for you?”

  “Yes.” His voice sounded like that of a prepubescent teen boy. I noticed he conveniently covered his crotch with one of the outdoor throw pillows.

  I sat back down beside Ezra and glanced at Arden. “You taste good,” I told her. Hayes made some kind of noise of distress.

  Her cheeks reddened. “It’s strawberry lip gloss.”

  “Does this mean I get to dare you now?” I eyed Hayes.

  “Uh…sure…I guess.” He seemed extremely uncomfortable now.

  I tapped my lips, trying to think of something good. “I dare you to shave your legs.”

  “What?” He gasped. “Come on!” He extended one leg out and pretended to pet it. “Do you have any idea how many years it took me to get a nice fur coat?”

  I snorted and everyone else laughed. “Well, I mean I could’ve asked you to make out with Mathias…so…”

  “I’ll shave my fucking legs,” he grumbled. “Give me the stuff.”

  I hurried inside and grabbed a razor, shaving gel, and a bucket of water.

  I set the bucket of water down in front of him and held the other items out to him.

  “Both legs too,” I eyed him, “don’t get skimpy on me.”

  He dunked one leg in the water and then slathered it in shaving gel. “Oh, fuck, now not only am I going to be hairless but I’m going to smell like a girl too. I think I would’ve rather kissed Mathias.”

  Mathias glared at him, his dark brows knitted together. “Try it and I’ll bite your tongue off.”

  “Sounds kinky,” Hayes jested. Taking a deep breath he made the first swipe over his leg. Seeing the bare patch of skin he let out a small fake cry. “I’m so sorry,” he muttered to his leg, cracking all of us up.

  Once he finished he let out a roar and flexed his arms. “Who’s my next victim?” His eyes landed on Maddox. “I dare you to do a handstand for one minute.”

  Maddox snorted. “That’s easy.”

  “We’ll see if you still think that in twenty seconds,” Hayes challenged.

  Maddox shook his head and stood up. “Start a timer.”

  I grabbed my phone and set it. “Are you ready?” I asked him.

  He nodded.

  My finger hovered over the start button. “Go!”

  Maddox got into the handstand position and at fifteen seconds cried out, “How much longer?”

  “Ha!” Hayes clapped his hands together. “Told you!”

  Suffice to say, Maddox only made it until thirty seconds and he wasn’t very happy about this fact.

  The dares began to escalate. I knew it was only a matter of time before it circled back to me.

  Emma eyed me smiling like the cat that ate the canary. “I dare you to give Ezra a lap dance.”

  I closed my eyes. It wasn’t the worst thing she could’ve come up with, but it was bad enough. I wanted to protest, but I knew that would only highlight the fact that something was indeed going on. In the past I wouldn’t have hesitated, because we were friends and it didn’t mean anything. It was just a game.

  I stood and Ezra grabbed my arm. “Sadie,” he started, and when I looked into his eyes I saw what he wanted to say—that I didn’t need to do this.

  But I did.

  I gave Emma a look and said, “Challenge accepted.”

  I was slightly pissed off, because I knew this dare had an ulterior motive for her.

  “If I’m going to do this right, I need some music.”

  A moment later Mathias’ phone lit up and music pumped around us.

  Tipping my head at Emma, I began to dance.

  Ezra cleared his throat behind me and when I turned to face him I saw that he was looking away.

  That only served to spurn me on.

  Our friends might’ve surrounded us but I was still going to make sure he enjoyed this.

  I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me, still swaying my hips to the beat of the song. “Don’t think.”

  He swallowed thickly and his eyes dilated.

  I turned back around and lowered my body, rolling my hips against his groin. His hands that had been lying flat on his knees curled into fists. I smiled in satisfaction.

  I moved against him as sensually as I could and my hands skimmed underneath my shirt, exposing my stomach.

  “Sadie,” he growled, grabbing my hips and pulling me more fully against his growing erection.

  I removed his hands and turned around to scold him. “Nuh-uh,” I wagged a finger in front of his face, “you can look, but you can’t touch.”

  He swallowed thickly and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

  I laid my hands on his thighs and bent forward so my chest was right in his line of sight—thank God for push up bras—and then moved my hands up his legs, over his stomach, and settled on his chest. His heart thundered madly beneath my palm, like it was racing to escape the confines of his chest. I leaned in and skimmed my lips down his neck and he gasped.

  “I thought you said no touc
hing.”

  “I said you couldn’t touch. I never said anything about me.”

  He looked tortured.

  I turned back around and practically sat in his lap. I lifted my arms behind me and wrapped them around his neck. All the while I kept moving my body along to the fast pace of the song. I could feel how turned on he was and it made it all worth it. Hell, even I was getting turned on. Bless the poor souls watching us.

  The chemistry between us burned brighter than the hottest star.

  “That’s enough.” Emma said and the music cut off.

  I moved my hips for a few more seconds before standing and moving back to my chair. I crossed my legs, trying to relieve some of the ache in my center, but unfortunately it wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Satisfied?” I asked Emma, tilting my head to the side.

  She stood with her hands on her hips. “I’ll be satisfied when you two finally admit that you’re more than friends. I know you think it’s not obvious, but it most definitely is,” she fumed.

  I shrugged innocently. “It was just a lap dance.”

  She groaned and sat down, muttering, “You’re driving me nuts.”

  Something about her words made me snap. I stood up this time and leered across the burning fire at her. I probably looked menacing but I didn’t care.

  “Forget a fucking dare,” I seethed, spitting the words between my teeth, “I want the truth…why are you so obsessed with my love life? The last time I checked it was none of your business!” The last words were pretty much a lie, yeah my love life wasn’t her business but in the past I’d never kept those things a secret from her.

  Her face crumbled and I instantly felt like a piece of shit. “I just want you to be happy,” she cried. Legit cried. I made my best friend cry and I felt ashamed of the tear that rolled down her cheek. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. To be happy. Is that such a bad thing?” She sniffled. She wiped at her face and groaned. “I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m sorry.” She dashed into the house, running away from me as fast as she could.

  Upon her exit I was met with silence.