Fundamism- Connecting to Life Through FUN

by Paul Long

  An example of this might read, “I am in control of how I experience this day. I’m smart, funny, and have an uncanny ability to connect with others. I commit to bringing more FUN to this day, and there’s nothing that will stand in my way!”

  We have all been guilty at one point in our lives of taking things for granted. We have also had moments of epiphany where we realized that we loved or appreciated someone or something because of what they add to our lives.

  In my case, those cathartic moments are generally followed by some guilt because I have not given the due recognition to those who have helped to improve the quality of my life.

  In short, I have been remiss with regard to the words “thank you.” Sometimes I am thanking an actual person, sometimes a higher power, and sometimes, I am thanking myself. No matter who is on the receiving end of my gratitude, it is important to identify my blessing and give thanks for it.

  One example of this FUNdamental could be writing down a list of items for which you are grateful accompanied by what each means to you. By revisiting this list before going to sleep each night and adding or subtracting to it as you see fit, you’ll find you are more present in identifying the good in your life and less focused on everything else.

  This FUNdamental, in practice, is simple and quick. But by taking a few minutes at the end of each day to take stock and reflect on what made the day good, what you value about your life or others who are in it, what makes you happy and fulfilled, you are effectively stopping to smell the roses on the path of your life. Appreciation for what you have is an integral element of a happy existence.

  FUNdamental #2

  Pay Compliments

  WHAT:

  Pay a stranger or someone you do not speak with regularly a compliment.

  WHY:

  Dale Carnegie once said, “The kind words you and I say today we may forget, but the recipient just might remember them for a lifetime.” When asking others if they receive enough recognition for the things they do, typically the response is an astounding, “NO!!!!!!” There is not a soul on the planet that does not enjoy receiving appreciation for the hard work and effort they put forth on a daily basis.

  When you pay someone a compliment, you immediately see a change in their attitude. Smiles and a new confidence are usually the result of your kind words. It is not possible to know what everyone is going through in life or where they have been. However, by expressing your gratitude you might give someone the strength they were lacking to get through a difficult time.

  While paying a compliment supplies the recipient with benefits, you also benefit! Your self-esteem will skyrocket with every smile you help to create. Relationships in your life will flourish as you begin to realize what an impact your ability to communicate has on those closest to you. You will start to feel a sense of accomplishment and joy that will help to carry you through even the most trying of times.

  HOW:

  We have hundreds of interactions with others every day. Accompanied with each interaction is the opportunity to express thanks. You might find that the young man working the drive-thru at your local coffee shop has a pleasant voice. Tell him.

  You may be surprised by someone who waited several seconds to hold a door for you because they saw you walking up. Express a genuine thank you. Someone at work could be working on a cumbersome project and you notice the frustration on their face. Explain how beneficial their work is and show them appreciation for all of their efforts.

  While the “what” in the compliment is important, don’t forget the most critical aspect of giving compliments: the “why.” You must explain the “why” in order to truly be effective. This can be done by expressing the importance of the recipient’s actions or why they positively affect you.

  Below is a brief example of an effective compliment. We will use a cashier from a local grocery store in this example.

  She greets you with a big smile and asks you how your day is going. She seems sincere in her questions, and you can tell that she cares to know the answers. You notice her name badge says, “Stephanie.” You might say something like this…

  “It’s not every day that you find someone who takes such great pride in helping others. I just want to say thank you, Stephanie, for caring, and keep up the great work!

  This FUNdamental is easy to implement as you have so many opportunities throughout the day. Start with one compliment a day and build upon your momentum. When your confidence starts to grow, increase the number of compliments to two a day.

  The more smiles you help to create, the better you will feel about yourself and your ability to influence others.

  Remember there is always a learning curve associated when tackling something new. You could be uncomfortable at first. It’s OK! Continue to stretch yourself and expand your comfort zone.

  With time and practice this FUNdamental will get easier.

  FUNdamental #3

  Listen to Music with a Purpose

  WHAT:

  Listen to music with a purpose.

  WHY:

  Music is a lot of things to lots of different people. I’m not a musician, but I wish I was. To me, music makes me FEEL. Anything I want to feel, I can find a song that will help evoke that emotion. Like many of you reading this, I can think of numerous defining moments in my life and associate each memory with a song. Below is the most impactful example I recall.

  The year was 2013. I was living in Portland, Oregon, with my wife, Melissa, and our eight-month-old daughter, Adalyn Grace. The moment I woke, I checked my phone to find in excess of ten phone calls and thirty texts. My father, just two weeks removed from his sixtieth birthday, had unexpectedly passed in his sleep.

  A weird feeling came over me.

  I was numb and knew I had to make plans to get home to Kansas City to help my family in the grieving process while making arrangements for his funeral services.

  After exploring flights to KC, we came to the conclusion that driving would be more fiscally responsible than purchasing plane tickets.

  We began our drive in the evening in hopes of allowing our baby girl some sleep to lessen her level of discomfort during such a trek. It had been a day since my father’s passing, and I still hadn’t shed a tear.

  It was pitch black as I drove through Utah with my headphones on as my wife and daughter slept in the back. My iPod, stocked full of 10K songs from just about every genre, was on shuffle when it happened.

  Death Cab for Cutie’s “I Will Follow You into the Dark” came on, and I completely lost it. As tears rolled down my face, I was taken by the words of the song and was forced to come to grips with the loss of my father. It was therapeutic, and I needed that release. Music gave me the power to FEEL.

  In a 2010 Los Angeles Times article (which you can read here: http://articles.latimes.com/2010/mar/01/health/la-he-0301-brain-music-therapy-20100301), Harvard neurologist Dr. Gottfried Schlaug explained that when an area of the brain is disabled due to trauma or disease, music provides a unique way to reach that area, sometimes restoring impaired functions such as movement, memory, and speech.

  There is also evidence that suggests that music can offer help to patients who suffer from pain, depression, heart problems, immune system issues and a rapidly growing list of ailments.

  Is it not then a foregone conclusion that music has healing properties?

  Perhaps we could even consider it a kind of medicine (a completely harmless and easily accessible medicine that we have unlimited access to 24 hours a day, without a prescription). Eureka!

  So, why in the world would we not avail ourselves of this miracle drug?

  While we are not exercising this FUNdamental to deal with serious illness, we are most certainly exercising it to engage our brains and provide a therapeutic and uplifting experience that can help us to relax, smile, or get motivated.

  HOW:

  This FUNdamental is super easy to incorporate into your day. When I wake up in the morning, I turn on the shower, follo
wed by my favorite Spotify playlist. Depending on the emotion I want to feel, I have the selection that will set the tone for my day.

  Every day, without fail, it wakes me up and puts a spring in my step as I prepare for the events to follow. My family also enjoys Hall & Oats dance parties, and we frequently have YouTube music videos playing at our house throughout the day.

  Our children LOVE music, and we can definitively see a change in them when it’s playing.

  Whether you are showering, driving to work, exercising, or even relaxing at home, you can add a little music to the mix. It can act as an energizer or a relaxant. You choose the mood you are aiming for, pick some appropriately paced music, and it will do the rest.

  Remember that the FUNdamental is “Listen to Music with a Purpose.”

  I challenge you to choose your music wisely based on what you want to feel rather than just turning on the radio and allowing the DJ to direct your day.

  FUNdamental #4

  Exercise!

  WHAT:

  Exercise.

  WHY:

  The bulk of society understands the physical benefits of exercising on a regular basis.

  According to www.nutristrategy.com, thirty minutes of physical activity, five days a week can reduce blood pressure, prevent heart disease, lower the risk of stroke, reduce the risk of osteoporosis, prevent back pain, reduce the risk of developing diabetes, prevent obesity, and countless other health benefits.

  What many people don’t know is that exercising regularly can also play a significant role in developing mental stability and promoting overall happiness.

  A team of researchers at Duke University recently conducted a study monitoring those who suffered from depression. The researchers monitored participants for a period of four months and found that 60% of those who exercised for thirty minutes a day, three times a week conquered their depression without the use of prescription medication.

  The amazing thing about this study is the success rate in overcoming depression was the exact same for those who only took prescription medication! Millions of people spend countless dollars on prescription antidepressants annually.

  According to this study, the same outcome of reducing depression could be had for free just by going on walks a couple of times a week!

  British statesman, Edward Stanley once said, “Those that think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”

  Exercising throughout the week can promote not only physical health but will ultimately lead to regular smiles and a positive mindset.

  HOW:

  You don’t have to be a gym rat or have a monthly membership to an expensive health club to exercise regularly. Anyone can spend five minutes exploring exercise techniques on the internet search engine of their choice to find a routine that can be performed in the comfort of their own home.

  Regardless of whether we have a personal trainer, watch hours of late-night infomercials featuring P90X or Insanity, have our own Bowflex in the basement, or just go for a jog around the block, we all have the capability of getting our sweat on!

  Exercise doesn’t have to be as difficult and involved as we sometimes make it. Grab your iPod or MP3 player, step out your front door, and take in the sites of your neighborhood as you enjoy some good music and a peaceful walk.

  FUNdamental #5

  Let It Go!

  WHAT:

  Release yourself of negative thoughts, anxiety, or depression created by previous experience or heartache.

  WHY:

  It is an unfortunate, but true fact that we humans are plagued by negativity throughout our daily lives. Whether office politics, community problems, a fellow driver with a bad case of road rage, or a more personal issue has got you down, negativity is an unavoidable fact of life.

  Fortunately for us, we have a choice.

  We can choose not to get mired in it and refocus our energy on happier things. We can choose to be forgiving instead of petty, cheerful instead of whiny, and we can move on instead of dwelling on adversity.

  This is a multi-faceted FUNdamental because in practice, it incorporates both internal and external adjustments to your attitude. It requires you to stop indulging the part of your brain that wants to relive or obsess about bad things and to talk yourself into letting it all go.

  This FUNdamental, in short, is about being the bigger person with other people and when necessary, yourself!

  Releasing negativity can change the tone of your day, and, in effect, your life. You will be able to enjoy work, social outings, and basic errands a whole lot more if you can learn to ignore people’s bad attitudes and silence the discouraging noise the world is throwing at you.

  Self-talk is an important component of exercising this FUNdamental properly. Patterns of negative self-talk are generally something that can begin as early as childhood. Not only do they serve as a vehicle for depression and self-defeat, but they can actually decrease our productivity.

  So it stands to reason that if we change the pattern of chatter going on inside us, we can see real results in how we experience life on the outside.

  HOW:

  First, it is important to recognize how often you are contemplating or even anticipating bad things to happen over the course of a day. Once you have identified the frequency with which you incorporate these debilitating thoughts, you can begin the process of mitigating their control over you.

  I am of the opinion that if you say something enough, you can talk yourself into believing it. Therefore, the more you tell yourself bad things are going to happen, the more you experience bad things happening!

  Oftentimes, great things are happening all around you, but you don’t even notice if you’ve trained your brain to expect only negativity.

  So how do you change?

  We first need to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Take notice of how you are phrasing things and make note of them in a journal.

  Are you using a lot of phrases like “I can’t,” “I won’t,” or “I don’t”? Turn those negative statements into motivating questions. For instance, “I can’t do this” can be changed to “How can I do this?” If negative self-talk is creating outcomes that generate misery, rephrasing statements to drive a more positive mindset is key to delivering a different life experience.

  Another important aspect of this FUNdamental is letting go of things that persistently plague you.

  While past experiences can prove powerful learning tools in avoiding previous mistakes, it is hard to move forward if you’re consistently looking in the rearview mirror. Life is full of challenges. Some are far worse than others.

  Whether you’ve experienced the terrible loss of a loved one, a traumatic event, made a terrible decision, fell out with a friend, or anything else that is consistently weighing heavily on your mind, you have to let it go.

  Take time to grieve, think about what you learned from the experience, even provide yourself time to appreciate the greatness that was offered as a result of that individual or situation—and then LET IT GO!

  Think about one individual you haven’t communicated with in a while. They were once a close friend, family member, or someone with whom you enjoyed interacting. For some reason, you stopped. You had a disagreement, they said something you didn’t like, or something came between you. Let it go.

  Pick up your phone right now and drop them a line. Text, call, or email this individual, and tell them you’re thinking of them and the fun they once brought to your life. Do so without expectation of how, if, or when they respond, and feel the release of an old hurt.

  In closing, there is no way to avoid negativity altogether. However, if you practice the Let It Go FUNdamental, confining these negative experiences to short-term memory and incorporating some positive self-talk, you’ll be in awe how differently you’ll experience life.

  So LET IT GO ALREADY!

  FUNdamental #6

  Make Yourself Laugh

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sp; WHAT:

  Find ways to make yourself laugh.

  WHY:

  “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all of our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”

  —Mark Twain

  While many of us have heard that laughter is the best medicine for what ails us, I believe Mark Twain truly captured the definition of humor and how it positively affects us in his quote above.

  According to Paul E. McGhee, PhD, “Your sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools you have to make certain your daily mood and emotional state support good health.”

  Those that laugh regularly know that it helps spark energy, regulates pain, reduces stress, and even strengthens the immune system!